The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Lover's Litanies, by Eric Mackay This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org Title: A Lover's Litanies Author: Eric Mackay Release Date: February 3, 2009 [EBook #27971] Language: English Character set encoding: ASCII *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A LOVER'S LITANIES *** Produced by K Nordquist, David T. Jones and the Online Distributed Proofreading Canada Team at http://www.pgdpcanada.net A Lover's Litanies _BY_ Eric Mackay A Lover's Litanies _BY_ Eric Mackay _Author of "Love Letters of a Violinist," and "Gladys the Singer."_ 1888. _LONDON:_ _Field & Tuer, The Leadenhall Press, E.C. Simpkin, Marshall & Co.; Hamilton, Adams & Co._ _New York: Scribner & Welford, 743 & 745, Broadway._ [Illustration: logo] THE LEADENHALL PRESS, LONDON, E.C. T 4,258. [Illustration: Ave Maria!] Contents. PAGE First Litany--Virgo Dulcis 11 Second Litany--Vox Amoris 25 Third Litany--Ad Te Clamavi 39 Fourth Litany--Gratia Plena 53 Fifth Litany--Salve Regina 67 Sixth Litany--Benedicta Tu 81 Seventh Litany--Stella Matutina 95 Eighth Litany--Domina Exaudi 109 Ninth Litany--Lilium inter Spinas 123 Tenth Litany--Gloria in Excelsis 137 [Illustration] First Litany. VIRGO DULCIS. First Litany. Virgo Dulcis. i. O thou refulgent essence of all grace! O thou that with the witchery of thy face Hast made of me thy servant unto death, I pray thee pause, ere, musical of breath, And rapt of utterance, thou condemn indeed My venturous wooing, and the wanton speed With which I greet thee, dear and tender soul! From out the fullness of my passion-creed. ii. I am so truly thine that nevermore Shall man be found, this side the Stygian shore, So meek as I, so patient under blame, And yet, withal, so minded to proclaim His life-long ardour. For my theme is just: A heart enslaved, a smile, a broken trust, A soft mirage, a glimpse of fairyland, And then the wreck thereof in tears and dust. iii. Thou wast not made for murder, yet a glance May murderous prove; and beauty may entrance, More than a syren's or a serpent's eye. And there are moments when a smother'd sigh May hint at comfort and a murmur'd "No" Give signs of "Yes," and Misery's overflow Make tears more precious than we care to tell, Though, one by one, our hopes we must forego. iv. I should have shunn'd thee as a man may shun His evil hour. I should have curst the sun That made the day so bright and earth so fair When first we met, delirium through the air Burning like fire! I should have curst the moon And all the stars that, dream-like, in a swoon Shut out the day,--the lov'd, the lovely day That came too late and left us all too soon. v. I look'd at thee, and lo! from face to feet, I saw my tyrant, and I felt the beat Of my quick pulse. I knew thee for a queen And bow'd submissive; and the smile serene Of thy sweet face reveal'd the soul of thee. For I was wounded as a man may be Whom Eros tricks with words he will not prove; And all my peace of mind went out from me. vi. Oh, why didst cheer me with the thought of bliss, And wouldst not pay me back my luckless kiss? I sought thy side. I gave thee of my store One wild salute. A flame was at the core Of that first kiss; and on my mouth I feel The glow thereof, the pressure and the seal, As if thy nature, when the deed was done, Had leapt to mine in lightning-like appeal. vii. If debts were paid in full I might require More than my kiss. I might, in time, aspire To some new bond, or re-enact the first. For once, thou know'st, the love for which I thirst, The love for which I hunger'd in thy sight, Was not withheld. I deem'd thee, day and night, Mine own true mate, and sent thee token flowers To figure forth the hopes I'd fain indite. viii. Is this not so? Canst thou detend, in truth, The sunlike smile with which, in flush of youth, Thou didst accept my greeting,--though so late,-- My love-lorn homage when the voice of Fate Fell from thy lips, and made me twice a man Because half thine, in that betrothal-plan Whereof I spake, not knowing how 'twould be When May had marr'd the prospects it began? ix. Can'st thou deny that, early in the spring, When daisies droop'd, and birds were fain to sing, We met, and talk'd, and walk'd, and were content In sunlit paths? An hour and more we spent In Keats's Grove. We linger'd near the stem Of that lone tree on which was seen the gem Of his bright name, there carven by himself; And then I stoop'd and kiss'd thy garment's hem. x. I gave thee all my life. I gave thee there, In that wild hour, the great Creator's share Of mine existence; and I turn'd to thee As men to idols, madly on my knee; And then uplifted by those arms of thine, I sat beside thee, warm'd with other wine Than vintage balm; and, mindful of thy blush, I guess'd a thought which words will not define. xi. I told thee stories of the days of joy When earth was young, and love without alloy Made all things glad and all the thoughts of things. And like a man who wonders when he sings, And knows not whence the power that in him lies, I made a madrigal of all my sighs And bade thee heed them; and I join'd therewith The texts of these my follies that I prize. xii. I spoke of men, long dead, who wooed in vain And yet were happy,--men whose tender pain Was fraught with fervor, as the night with stars. And then I spoke of heroes' battle-scars And lordly souls who rode from land to land To win the love-touch of a lady's hand; And on the strings of thy low-murmuring lute I struck the chords that all men understand. xiii. I sang to thee. I praised thee with my praise, E'en as a bird, conceal'd in sylvan ways, May laud the rose, and wish, from hour to hour, That he had petals like the empress-flower, And there could grow, unwing'd, and be a bud, With all his warblings ta'en at singing-flood And turned to vagaries of the wildest scent To undermine the meekness in her blood. xiv. Ah, those were days! That April should have been My last on earth, and, ere the frondage green Had changed to gold, I should have join'd the ranks Of dull dead men who lived for little thanks And made the most thereof, though penance-bound. I should have known that in the daily round Of mine existence, there are griefs to spare, But joys, alas! too few on any ground. xv. And here I stand to-day with bended head, My task undone, my garden overspread With baneful weeds. Am I the lord thereof? Or mine own slave, without the power to doff My misery's badge? Am I so weak withal, That I must loiter, though the bugle's call Shrills o'er the moor, the far-off weltering moor, Where foemen meet to vanquish or to fall? xvi. Am I so blurr'd in soul, so out of health, That I must turn to thee, as if by stealth, And fear thy censure, fear thy quick rebuff, And thou so gentle in a world so rough That God's high priest, the morn-apparell'd sun Ne'er saw thy like! Am I indeed undone Of life and love and all? and must I weep For joys that quit me, and for sands that run? xvii. To-morrow's dawn will break; but Yesterday, Where is its light? And where the breezes' play That sway'd the flowers? A bird will sing again, But not so well. The wind upon the plain, The wintry wind, will toss the groaning trees; But I, what comfort shall I have of these, To know that they, unlov'd, have lost the Spring, As I thy favour and my power to please? xviii. I should have learnt a lesson from the songs Of woodland birds discoursing on the wrongs Of madcap moths and bachelor butterflies. I should have caught the cadence of the sighs Of unwed flowers, and learnt the way to woo, Which all things know but I, beneath the blue Of Heaven's great dome; for, undesired of thee, I have but jarr'd the notes that seem'd so true. xix. I should have told thee all I meant to tell, And how, at Lammas-tide, a wedding-bell Rang through my sleep, mine own as well as thine; And how I led thee, smiling, to a shrine And there endow'd thee with the name I bear; And how I woke to find the morning-air Flooded with light. I should have told thee this And not conceal'd the theme of my long prayer. xx. But I was timid. Oh, my love was such I scarce could name it! Trembling over-much With too much ardour, I was moved at length To mere mad utterance. In a blameful strength I seiz'd thy hand, to scare thee, as of old Dryads were scared; and calm and icy-cold Thine answer came: "I pray thee, vex me not!" And all that day 'twas winter on the wold. [Illustration: cherub] Second Litany. _VOX AMORIS_. Second Litany. Vox Amoris.[1] i. Vouchsafe, my Lady! by the passion-flower, And by the glamour of a moonlit hour, And by the cries and sighs of all the birds That sing o'nights, to heed again the words Of my poor pleading! For I swear to thee My love is deeper than the bounding sea, And more conclusive than a wedding-bell, And freer-voiced than winds upon the lea. [Footnote 1: This Litany was introduced in the Author's "Gladys the Singer," published by Messrs. Reeves & Turner, London, 1887.] ii. In all the world, from east unto the west, There is no vantage-ground, and little rest, And no content for me from dawn to dark, From set of sun to song-time of the lark, And yet, withal, there is no man alive Who for a goodly cause to make it thrive, Would do such deeds as I would gird me to Could I but win the pearl for which I dive. iii. It is thy love which, downward in the deep Of far-off visions, I behold in sleep,-- It is thy pearl of love which in the night Doth tempt my soul to hopes I dare not write,-- It is this gem for which, had I a crown, I'd barter peace and pomp, and ermined gown; It is thy troth, thou paragon of maids! For which I'd sell the joys of all renown. iv. I would attack a panther in its den To do thee service as thy man of men, Or front the Fates, or, like a ghoul, confer With staring ghosts outside a sepulchre. I would forego a limb to give thee life, Or yield my soul itself in any strife, In any coil of doubt, in any spot When Death and Danger meet as man and wife. v. It is my solace, all my nights and days, To pray for thee and dote on thee always, And evermore to count myself a king Because I earn'd thy favour in the spring. Oh, smile on me and call me to thy side, And I will kneel to thee, as to a bride, And yet adore thee as a saint in Heaven By God ordained, by good men glorified! vi. I will acquaint thee with mine inmost thought And teach thee all I know, though unbesought, And make thee prouder of a poet's dream Than wealthy men are proud of what they seem. If thou have trust therein, if thou require Service of me, or song, or penance dire, I will obey thee as thy belted knight, Or die to satisfy thy heart's desire. vii. Ah! thou hast that in store which none can give, None but thyself, and I am fain to live To watch the outcome of so fair a gift,-- To see the bright good morrow loom and lift, And know that thou,--unpeer'd beneath the moon,-- Untamed of men,--untutor'd to the tune Of lip with lip,--wilt cease thy coy disdain And learn the languors of the loves of June. viii. All that I am, and all I hope to be, Is thine till death; and though I die for thee Each day I live; and though I throb and thrill At thoughts that seem to burn me, and to chill, In my dark hours, I revel in the same; Yet I am free of hope, as thou of blame, And all around me, wakeful and in sleep, I weave a blessing for thy soul to claim. ix. Oh, by thy radiant hair and by the glow Of thy full eyes,--and by thy breast of snow,-- And by the buds thereof that have the flush Of infant roses when they strive to blush,-- And by thy voice, melodious as a bell That rings for prayer in God's high citadel,-- By all these things, and more than I can urge, I charge thee, Sweet! to let me out of hell! x. Is it not Hell to live so far away And not to touch thee,--not by night or day To be partaker of one smile of thine, Or one commingling of thy breath and mine, Or one encounter of thine amorous mouth? I dwell apart from thee, as north from south, As east from western ways I dwell apart, And taste the tears that quench not any drouth. xi. Why wouldst thou take the memory of a wrong To be thy shadow all the summer long, A thing to chide thee at the dead of night, A thing to wake thee with the morning light For self-upbraiding, while the wanton bird Invests the welkin? Ah, by joy deferr'd, By peace withheld from me,--do thou relent And dower my life to-day with one love-word! xii. Wouldst thou, Cassandra-wise, oppress my soul With more unrest, and Hebe-like, the bowl Of festal comfort for a moment raise To my poor lips, and then avert thy gaze? Wouldst make me mad beyond the daily curse Of thy displeasure, and in wrath disperse That halcyon draught, that nectar of the mind, Which is the theme I yearn to in my verse? xiii. Oh, by thy pity when so slight a thing As some small bird is wounded in the wing, Avert thy scorn, and grant me, from afar, At least the right to love thee as a star,-- The right to turn to thee, the right to bow To thy pure name and evermore, as now, To own thy thraldom and to sing thereon, In proud allegiance to mine earliest vow. xiv. It were abuse of power to frown again When, all day long, I gloat upon the pain Of pent-up hope, my joy and my distress,-- While the remembrance of a mute caress Given to a rose,--a rose I pluck'd for thee,-- Seems as the withering of the world to me, Because I am unlov'd of thee to-day And undesired as sea-weeds in the sea. xv. I'll not believe that eyes so bright as thine Were meant for malice in the summer-shine, Or that a glance thereof, though changed to fire, Could injure one whose spirit, like a lyre, Has throbb'd to music of remember'd joys,-- The pride thereof, and all the tender poise Of trust with trust,--the symphonies of grief Made all mine own,--and Faith which never cloys. xvi. How can it be that one so fair as thou Should wear contention on a whiter brow Than May-day Dian's in her hunting gear? I'll not believe that eyes so holy-clear And mouth so constant to its morning prayer Could mock the mischief of a man's despair And all the misery of a moment's hope Seen far away, as mists are seen in air. xvii. How can a woman's heart be made of stone And she not know it? Mine is overthrown. I have no heart to-day, no perfect one, Only a thing that sighs at set of sun And beats its cage, as if the thrall thereof Were freedom's prison or the tomb of love; As if, God help me! there were shame in truth And no salvation left in realms above. xviii. I once could laugh, I once was deem'd a man Fit for the frenzies of the dead god Pan, And now, by Heaven! the birds that sing so well Move me to tears; and all the leafy dell, And all the sun-down glories of the West, And all the moorland which the moon has blest, Make me a dreamer, aye! a coward, too, In all the weird expanse of mine unrest. xix. It is my curse to see thee and to learn That I must shun thee, though I blaze and burn With all this longing, all this fierce delight Fear-fraught and famish'd for a suitor's right; A right conceded for a moment's space And then withdrawn as, amorous face to face, I dared to clasp thee and to urge a troth Too sovereign-sweet for one of Adam's race. xx. I am a doom-entangled mirthless soul, Without the power to rid me of the dole Which, day by day, and nightly evermore Corrodes my peace! Oh, smile, as once before, At each wild thought and each discarded plea, And let thy sentence, let thy suffrance be That I be reckon'd till the day I die The sad-eyed Singer of thy fame and thee! [Illustration: cherub] Third Litany. _AD TE CLAMAVI._ Third Litany. Ad Te Clamavi. i. Again, O Love! again I make lament, And, Arab-like, I pitch my summer-tent Outside the gateways of the Lord of Song. I weep and wait, contented all day long To be the proud possessor of a grief. It comforts me. It gives me more relief Than pleasures give; and, spirit-like in air, It re-invokes the peace that was so brief. ii. It speaks of thee. It keeps me from the lake Which else might tempt me; and for thy sweet sake I shun all evil. I am calmer now Than when I wooed thee, calmer than the vow Which made me thine, and yet so fond withal I start and tremble at the wind's footfall. Is it the wind? Or is it mine own past Come back to life to lure me to its thrall? iii. I long to rise and seek thee where thou art And draw thee amorous to my wakeful heart That beats for thee alone, in vague unrest. I long to front thee when thou'rt lily-dress'd In white attire,--e'en like the flowers of old That Jesus praised; and, though the thought be bold, I'm fain to kiss thee, Sweetheart! through thy hair And hide my face awhile in all that gold. iv. I will not say what more might then be done, And how, by moonlight or beneath the sun, We might be happy. In a reckless mood I've talk'd of this; and dreams and many a brood Of tongue-tied fancies have my soul beset. I will not hint at fealty or the fret Of lips untrue, or anger thee therein, Or call to mind one word thou wouldst forget. v. I should withhold my raptures were I wise, I should not vex thee with my many sighs, Or claim one tear from thee, though 'tis my due. I should be silent. I should cease to sue! Sorrow should teach me what I fail'd to learn In days gone by; and cross'd at every turn By some new doubt, new-born of my desires, I should suppress the pangs with which I burn. vi. I am an outcast from the land of love And thou the Queen thereof, as white as dove New-sped from Heaven, and fine and fair to see As coy Queen Mab when, out upon the lea, She met her master and was lov'd of him. Thou art allied to long-hair'd cherubim, And I a something undesired of these, With woesome lips and eyes for ever dim. vii. I was ordain'd thy minstrel, but alas! I dare not greet thee when I see thee pass; I scarce, indeed, may hope at any time, To work my will, or triumph in a rhyme To do thee honour; no, nor make amends For unsought fervor, in the tangled ends Of my despair. How sad, how dark to me All things have grown since thou and I were friends! viii. It is the fault of thy despotic glance, It is the memory of a day's romance When, true to thee, though taunted for my truth, I dared to solemnise the joys of youth In one wild chant. It is thy fault, I say! Thy piteous fault that, on the verge of May, I lost the right to live, as heretofore, Untouched by doubt from day to brightening day. ix. O Summer's Pride! I loved thee from the first, And, like a martyr, I was blest and curst, And saved and slain, and crown'd and made anew, A grief-glad man, with yearnings not a few, But no just hope to win so fair a troth. I should have known how one may weep for both When lovers part, poor souls! beneath the moon, And how Remembrance may outlive an oath. x. The nymphs, I think, were like thee in the glade Of that Greek valley where the wine was made For feasts of Bacchus; for I dream at night Of those creations, kind and calm and bright; And in my thought, unhallow'd though it be, The sun-born Muses turn their gaze on me, And seem to know me as a friend of theirs, Though all unfit to serve them on my knee. xi. They lived and sang. They died as visions die, Supreme, eternal, offshoots of the sky, Made and re-made, undraped and draped afresh, To glad the earth like phantoms made of flesh, And yet as mistlike as delusions are! They stood beside Achilles in his car; They knew the gods and all their joysome deeds, And all the chants that sprang from star to star. xii. The myths of Greece, the maidens of the grove, The dear dead fancies of the days of Jove, Why were they bann'd? Oh, why in Reason's name, Were they abolished? They were good to claim, And good to dream of, and to crown with bays, Far-seen of men, far-shining in the haze Of withering doubts. They were the world's elect, As thou art mine, to bow to and to praise. xiii. Night after night I see thee, in my dreams, As fair as Daphne, with the morning beams Of thy bright locks about thee like a cloak,-- Fair as the young Aurora when she woke At Phaethon's call, athwart the mountain-heights. I see thee radiant in the summer nights, And, bosom-pack'd with frenzies unrepress'd, I thrill to thee in Slumber's soft delights. xiv. I see thee pout. I see thee in disdain Look out, reluctant, through the falling rain Of thy long hair. I feel thee close at hand. I note thy breathing as I loose the band That binds thy waist, and then to waking life I backward start! Despair is Sorrow's wife; And I am Sorrow, and Despair's mine own, To lure me on to madness or to strife. xv. My sex offends thee, or the thought of this; For I did fright thee when I fleck'd a kiss With too much heat. I should have bow'd to thee, And left unsaid the word, deception-free, Which, like a flash, illumed the love within, My wilfulness was much to blame therein; But thou wilt shrive me, Sweet! of mine offence If passion-pangs be deem'd so dark a sin. xvi. Oh, give me back my soul that with the same I may achieve a deed of poet-fame, Or die belauded on the battle-field! There's much to seek. My hand is strong to wield Weapon or pen. If thou consent thereto Deeds may be done. If not, thine eyes are blue And Heaven is there,--a two-fold tender shrine Whose wrath I fear, whose judgment still I rue! xvii. I am but half myself. The life in me Is nigh crush'd out; and, though I seem to see Glory, and grace, and joy, as in the past, They are but shadows on the cozening blast, And dreams of devils and distorted things, And snakes coiled up that look like wedding rings, And faded flowers that once were fit for wreaths In bygone summers and in perish'd springs. xviii. There is a curse in every garden place, And when, at night, the lily's holy face Looks up to God, it seems to chide me there. The very sun with all his golden hair Is ill at ease, and birth and death of day Bring no relief; and darkly on my way My memory comes,--the ghost of my Delight,-- To fret and fume at woes it cannot slay. xix. Oh, bid me smile again, as in the time When all the breezes seem'd to make a chime, And all the birds on all the woodland slopes Had trills for me, and seem'd to guess the hopes That warm'd my heart. O thou whom I adore! How proud were I,--though wounded bitter-sore By shafts of doubt,--if, in default of love I could but win thy friendship as of yore. xx. Then were I blest indeed, and crown'd of fate As kings are crowned, as bards in their estate Are rapture-fraught, re-risen above the dust. Then were I torture-proof, and on the crust Of one kind word, though as a pittance thrown, I'd live for weeks! My tears I would disown And pray, contented with my discontent, As hermits pray when storms are overblown. [Illustration: cherub] Fourth Litany. _GRATIA PLENA_. Fourth Litany. Gratia Plena. i. Oh, smile on me, thou syren of my soul! That I may curb my thoughts to some control And not offend thee, as in truth I do, Morning, and noon and night, when I pursue My vagrant fancies, unallow'd of thee, But fraught with such consolement unto me As may be felt in homeward-sailing ships When wind and wave contend upon the sea. ii. Dower me with patience and imbue me still With some reminder, when the night is chill, Of thy dear presence, as, in winter-time, The maiden moon, that tenderly doth climb The lofty heavens, hath yet a beam to spare For doleful wretches in their dungeon-lair; E'en thus endow me in my chamber dim With some reminder of thy face so fair! iii. Quit thou thy body while thou sleepest well And visit mine at midnight, by the spell That knows not shame. For in the House of Sleep All things are pure; and in the silence deep I'll wait for thee, and thou, contrition-wise, Wilt seek my couch and this that on it lies, This frame of mine that lives for thee alone As palmers live for peace that never dies. iv. It were a goodly thing to spare a foe And kill his hate. And I would e'en do so! For I would kill the coyness of thy face. I would enfold thee in my spurn'd embrace And kiss the kiss that gladdens as with wine. Yea, I would wrestle with those arms of thine, And, like a victor, I would vanquish thee, And, tyrant-like, I'd teach thee to be mine. v. For, what is peace that we should cling thereto If war be wisest? If the death we woo Be fraught with fervor there's delight in death! There is persuasion in the tempest's breath Not known in calm; and raptures round us flow When, like an arrow through the bended bow Of two fond lips, the quivering dart of love Brings down the kiss which saints shall not bestow. vi. The soldier dies for country and for kin; He dies for fame that is so sweet to win; And, part for duty, part for battle-doom, He wends his way to where the myrtles bloom; He gains a grave, perchance a recompense Beyond his seeking, and a restful sense Of soul-completion, far from any strife, And far from memory of his land's defence. vii. Be this my meed,--to die for love of thee, As when the sun goes down upon the sea And finds no mate in all the realms of earth. I, too, have look'd on Nature in its worth And found no resting-place in all the spheres, And no relief beyond my sonnet-tears,-- The soul-fed shudderings of my lonely harp That knows the gamut now of all my fears. viii. I wear thy colours till the day I die: A glove, a ribbon, and a rose thereby, All join'd in one. I revel in these things; For, once an angel, unarray'd in wings, Came to my side, and beam'd on me, and said: "I love thee, friend!" and then, with lifted head, Gave me a rose on which the dew had fallen; And, like the flower, she blush'd a virgin-red. ix. I found the glove down yonder in the dale. I knew 'twas thine; its color, creamy-pale, Fill'd me with joy. "A prize!" I cried aloud, And snatch'd it up, as zealous then, and proud, As one who wins a knighthood in his youth; And I was moved thereat, in very sooth, And kiss'd it oft, and call'd on kindly Heaven To be the sponsor of mine amorous truth. x. I Earn'd the ribbon as we earn a smile For service done. I help'd thee at the stile; And so 'twas mine, my trophy, as of right. Oh, never yet was ribbon half so bright! It seem'd of sky-descent,--a strip of morn Thrown on the sod,--a something summer-worn To be my guerdon; and, enriched therewith, I follow'd thee, thy suitor, through the corn. xi. I trod on air. I seem'd to hear the sound Of fifes and trumpets and the quick rebound Of bells unseen,--the storming of a tower By imps audacious, and the sovereign power Of some arch-fairy, thine acquaintance sure In days gone by; for, all the land was pure, As if new-blest,--the land and all the sea And all the welkin where the stars endure. xii. We journey'd on through fields that were a-glow With cowslip buds and daisies white as snow; And, hand in hand, we stood beside a shrine At which a bard whom lovers deem divine, Laid down his life; and, as we gazed at this, There seem'd to issue from the wood's abyss A sound of trills, as if, in its wild way, A nightingale were pondering on a kiss. xiii. A lane was reached that led I know not where, Unless to Heaven,--for Heaven was surely there And thou so near it! And within a nook A-down whose covertness a noisy brook Did talk of peace, I learnt of thee my fate; The word of pity that was kin to hate,-- The voice of reason that was reason's foe Because it spurn'd the love that was so great! xiv. But I must pause. I must, from day to day, Keep back my tears, and seek a surer way Than Memory's track. I must, with lifted eyes, Re-shape my life, and heed the battle-cries Of prompt ambition, and be braced at call To do such deeds as haply may befall, If, freed of thee, and charter'd to myself, I may undo the bonds that now enthrall. xv. Shall I do this? I shall; and thou shalt see Signs of rebellion. I will turn to thee And claim obedience. I will make it plain How many a link may go to form a chain, And each a circlet, each a ring to wear. I will extract the sting from my despair And toy therewith, as with a charmed snake, That, Lamia-like, uprears itself in air. xvi. Or is my boast a vain, an empty one, And shall I rue it ere the day is done? Will hope revive betimes? Or must I stand For evermore outside the fairyland Of thy good will? Alas! my place is here, To muse and moan and sigh and shed my tear, My paltry tear for one who loves me not, And would not mourn for me on my death-bier. xvii. Oh, get thee hence, thou harbinger of light! That, like a dream, dost come to me at night To haunt my sleep, and rob me of content, So true-untrue, so deaf to my lament, I must forego the pride I felt therein. Aye, get thee hence! And I will crush the sin, If sin it be, that prompts me, night and day, To seek in thee the bliss I cannot win. xviii. Or, if thou needs must haunt me after dark, Come when I wake. The oriole and the lark Are friends of thine; and oft, I know, the thrush Has trill'd of thee at morn and even-blush. And flowers have made confessions unto me At which I marvel; for they rail at thee And call thee heartless in thy seemlihood, Though queen-elect of all the flowers that be. xix. Nay, heed me not! I rave; I am possess'd By utmost longing. I am sore oppress'd By thoughts of woe; and in my heart I feel A something keener than the touch of steel, As if, to-day, a danger unforeseen Had track'd thy path,--as if my prayers had been Misjudged in Heaven, or drown'd in demon-shouts Beyond the boundaries of the coasts terrene. xx. But this is clear; this much at least is true: I am thine own! I doat upon the blue Of thy kind eyes, well knowing that in these Are proofs of God; and down upon my knees I fall subservient, as a man in shame May own a fault; albeit, as with a flame, I burn all day, abash'd and unforgiven, And all unfit to touch the hand I claim! [Illustration: cherub] Fifth Litany. _SALVE REGINA_. Fifth Litany. Salve Regina. i. Glory to thee, my Queen! whom far away My thoughts aspire to,--as the birds of May Aspire o' mornings,--as in lonely nooks The gurgling murmurs of neglected brooks Aspire to moonlight,--aye! as earth aspires When through the East, alert with wild desires, The rapturous sun surveys the welkin's height, And flecks the world with witcheries of his fires. ii. Oh, I should curb my grief. I should entone No plaint to thee; no loss should I bemoan! I should be patient, I, though full of care, And not attempt, by bias of a prayer, To sway thy spirit, or to urge anew A claim contested. For my days are few; My days, I think, are few upon the earth Since I must shun the joys I would pursue. iii. I am not worthy of the Heaven I name When I name thee; and yet to win the same Is still my dream. I strive as best I can To live uprightly on the vaunted plan Of old-world sages. But I strive not well; And thoughts conflicting which I cannot quell Make me despondent; and I quake thereat, As at the shuddering of a doomsday bell. iv. To die for thee were more than my desert; To live for thee to keep thee out of hurt And, like a slave, to wait upon thy will Were more than fame. And lo! I nourish still A sense of calm to feel that thou, at least, Art sorrow-free and honor'd at the feast Which Nature spreads for all contented minds; And that for thee its splendours have increased. v. I stand alone. I stand beneath the trees, I guess their thoughts; I hear them to the breeze Say tender nothings; and I dream the while Of thy white arms, and thy remember'd smile, When, in a spot like this, a year a-gone, I saw thee stoop to pluck from off the lawn A wounded bird that peer'd into thy face As if it took thee for the nymph of dawn! vi. Oh, can it be, as friends of thine affirm That thou'rt a fairy,--that, from term to term, Month after month, belov'd of all good things, Thou'rt seen in forests and in meadow rings Girt for the dance? or like an Oread queen Array'd for council? For the woods convene Their dryad forces when the nights are clear, And nymphs and fawns carouse upon the green. vii. The crescent moon, the Argosy of heaven, Veers for the west across the Pleiads seven, And, out beyond the ridge of Charles's Wain, It seems to come to mooring on the main Of that deep sky, as if awaiting there An angel-guest with sunlight in her hair, A seraph's cousin, or the foster-child Of some centurion of the upper air. viii. Is it thy soul? Has Cynthia call'd for thee In her white boat, to take thee o'er the sea Where suns and stars and constellations bright Are isles of glory,--where a seraph's right Surpasses mine, and makes me seem indeed A base intruder, with a coward's creed And not an angel's, though a Christian born And pledged always to serve thee at thy need? ix. Thou'rt sleeping now; and in thy snowy rest,-- In that seclusion which is like a nest For blameless human maids beheld of those Who come from God,--thou hast in thy repose No thought of me,--no thought of pairing-time. For thou'rt the sworn opponent of the rhyme That lovers make in kissing; and anon My very love will vex thee like a crime. x. But day and night, and winter-tide and spring, Change at thy voice; and when I hear thee sing I know 'tis May; and when I see thy face I know 'tis Summer. Thou'rt the youngest Grace, And all the Muses praise thee evermore. And there are birds who name thee as they soar; And some of these,--the best and brightest ones,-- Have guess'd the pangs that pierce me to the core. xi. Thou art the month of May with all its nights And all its days transfigured in the lights Of love-lit smiles and glances multiform; And, like a lark that sings above a storm, Thy voice o'er-rides the tumult of my mind. Oh, give me back the peace I strove to find In my last prayer, and I'll believe that Hope Will dry anon the tears that make it blind. xii. There's none like thee, not one in all the world; No face so fair, no smile so sweet-impearl'd, And no such music on the hills and plains As thy young voice whereof the thrill remains For hours and hours,--belike to keep alive The sense of beauty that the flowers may thrive. Or is't thy wish that birds should fly to thee Before the days of April's quest arrive? xiii. Thou'rt noble-natured; and there's none to stand So meek as thou, or with so dear a hand To ward off wrong. For Psyche of the Greeks Is dead and gone; and Eros with his freaks Has bow'd to thee, and turn'd aside, for shame, His useless shaft, not daring to proclaim His amorous laws, and thou so maiden-coy Beneath the halo of thy spotless name! xiv. But dreams are idle, and I must forget All that they tend to. I must cease to fret, Moth as I am, for stars beyond the reach Of mine up-soaring; and in milder speech I must invoke thy blessing on the road That lies before me,--far from thine abode, And far from all persuasion that again Thou wilt accept the terms of my love-code. xv. O Sweet! forgive me that from day to day I dream such dreams, and teach me how to sway My fluttering self, that, in forsaken hours, I may be valiant, and eschew the powers Of death and doubt! I need the certitude Of thine esteem that I may check the feud Of mine own thoughts that rend and anger me Because denied the boon for which I sued. xvi. Teach me to wait with patience for a word, And be the sight of thee no more deferr'd Than one up-rising of the vesper star That waits on Dian when, supreme, afar, She eyes the sunset. And of this be sure, As I'm a man and thou a maid demure, Thou shalt be ta'en aside and wonder'd at, Before the gloaming leaves the land obscure. xvii. Thou shalt be bow'd to as we bow to saints In window'd shrines; and, far from all attaints Of ribald passion, thou, as seemeth good, Wilt smile serenely in thy virginhood. Nor shall I know, of mine own poor accord, Which thing in all the world is best to hoard, Or which is worst of all the things that slay: A woman's beauty or a soldier's sword. xviii. I grieve in sleep. I pine away at night. I wake, uncared for, in the morning light; And, hour by hour, I marvel that for me The wandering wind should make its minstrelsy So sweet and calm. I marvel that the sun, So round and red, with all his hair undone, Should smile at me and yet begrudge me still The sight of thee that art my worshipp'd one! xix. I count my moments as a cloister'd man May count his beads; and through the weary span Of each long day I peer into my heart For hints of comfort; and I find, in part, A self-committal, and a glimpse withal Of some new menace in the rise and fall Of days and nights that are the test of Time Though Fate would make a mockery of them all. xx. There's a disaster worse than loss of gold, Worse than remorse, and worse a thousand-fold, Than pangs of hunger. 'Tis the thirst of love, The rage and rapture of the ravening dove We name Desire. Ah, pardon! I offend; My fervor blinds me to the withering end Of all good council, and, accurst thereby, I vaunt anew the faults I cannot mend. [Illustration: cherubs] Sixth Litany. _BENEDICTA TU_. Sixth Litany. Benedicta Tu. i. I tell thee Sweet! there lives not on the earth A love like mine in all the height and girth And all the vast completion of the sphere. I should be proud, to-day, to shed a tear If I could weep. But tears are most denied When most besought; and joys are sanctified By joys' undoing in this world of ours From dusk to dawn and dawn to eventide. ii. Wert thou a marble maid and I endow'd With power to move thee from thy seeming shroud Of frozen splendour,--all thy whiteness mine And all the glamour, all the tender shine Of thy glad eyes,--ah God! if this were so, And I the loosener, in the summer-glow, Of thy long tresses! I were licensed then To gaze, unchidden, on thy limbs of snow. iii. I would prepare for thee a holy niche In some new temple, and with draperies rich, And flowers and lamps and incense of the best, I would with something of mine own unrest Imbue thy blood and prompt thee to be just. I would endow thee with a fairer trust Than mere contentment, and a dearer joy Than mere revulsion from the sins of dust. iv. A band of boys, with psaltery and with lyre, And Cyprian girls, the slaves of thy desire, Would chant and pray and raise so wild a storm Of golden notes around thy sculptured form That saints would hear the chorus up in Heaven, And intermingle with their holy steven The sighs of earth, and long for other cares Than those ordain'd them by the Lord's Eleven. v. I would approach thee with a master's tread And claim thy hand and have the service read By youthful priests resplendent every one; And in thy frame the blood of thee would run As warm and sound as wine of Syracuse. And all that day the birds would bear the news In far directions, and the meadow-flowers Would dream thereof, love-laden, in the dews. vi. Then, by magnetic force,--the greatest known This side the tomb,--I would athwart the stone Of thy white body, in a trice of time, Call forth thy soul, and woo thee to the chime Of tinkling bells, and make thee half afraid, And half aggrieved, to find thyself array'd In such enthralment, and in such attire, In sight of one whose will should not be stay'd. vii. And, like Pygmalion, I would claim anon A bride's submission; and my talk thereon Would not perplex thee; for the sense of life Would warm thy heart, and urge thee to the strife Of lip with lip, and kiss with pulsing kiss, Which gives the clue to all we know of bliss, And all we know of heights we long to climb Beyond the boundaries of the grave's abyss. viii. The dear old deeds chivalrous once again Would find fulfilment; and the curse of Cain Which fell on woman, as on men it fell, Would fly from us, as at a sorcerer's spell, And leave us wiser than the sophists are Who love not folly. Night should not debar, Nor day dissuade us, from those ecstacies That have Anacreon's fame for guiding-star. ix. Aye! thou wouldst kneel and seek in me apace A transient shelter for thine amorous face Which then I'd screen; and thou to me wouldst turn With awe-struck eyes, and cling to me and yearn, With sighs full tender and a touch of fear. And, like a bird which knows that spring is near, And, after spring, the summer of sweet days, Thou wouldst attune thy love-notes in mine ear. x. Or, fraught with feelings near akin to hate, Thou wouldst denounce me; and, like one elate, Thou wouldst entwine me in thine arms so white, As soldier-nymphs, with rapt and raging sight, Made war with spearsmen in the vales of song, The vales of Sparta where, for right or wrong, The gods were potent, and, for beauty's sake, Upheld the tourneys of the fair and strong. xi. I would not seem too wilful in the heat Of our encounter, or with sighs repeat Too fierce a vow. I would throughout confess Thy murderous mirth, thy conquering loveliness, And then subdue thee! Tears would not avail Nor prayer, nor praise; and, flush'd the while or pale, Thou shouldst be mine, my hostage in the night, Without the option of a moment's bail. xii. Thou shouldst be mine! My hopes, from first to last, Would win their way; and, lithe and love-aghast, And all unnerv'd, thou wouldst, as in a dream Entreat my pardon! I would callous seem To thine out-yearning. I would cast on thee A questioning look, and then, upon my knee, I would surrender to that face of thine Which is the great world's wonder unto me. xiii. O Heaven! could this be done, and I fulfil One half my wish, and curb thee to my will, I were a prompter and a prouder man Than earth has known since light-foot lovers ran For Atalanta, lov'd of men and boys. I were a kaiser then, a king of joys, And fit to play with high-begotten pomps As children play with pebbles or with toys. xiv. O Golden Hair! O Gladness of an Hour Made flesh and blood! O beauteous Human Flower Too sweet to pluck, and yet, though seeming-cold, Ordain'd to love! I pray thee, as of old, Be kind to me. I saw thee yesternight, And for an instant I was urged to plight My troth again; for in thy face I saw What seem'd a smile evoked for my delight. xv. Re-grant thy favour! Take me by the hand And lead me back again to thine own land, The nook supreme, the sanctum in the glen Where pixies walk,--unknown to peevish men And shrew-like women whom no faith uplifts! Show me the place where Nature keeps the gifts She most approves, and where the song-birds dwell, And I'll forego the land of little thrifts. xvi. The moon is mother and the sun is sire Of those young planets which, with infant fire, Have late been found in regions too remote For quicklier search; and these, in time, will dote And whirl and wanton in the realms of space. For there are comets in the nightly chase Who see strange things untalk'd of by the bards; And earth herself has found a trysting-place. xvii. And so 'tis clear that sun and moon and stars Are link'd by love! The marriage-feast of Mars Was fixt long since. 'Tis Venus whom he weds. 'Tis she alone for whom he gaily treads His path of splendour; and of Saturn's ring He knows the symbol, and will have, in spring, A night-betrothal, near the Southern Cross; And all the stars will pause thereat and sing. xviii. What wonder, then, what wonder if to-day I, too, assert my right, in roundelay, To talk of rings and posies and the vows That wait on marriage? 'Tis the wild carouse Of soul with soul athwart the sense of touch. 'Tis this uplifts us when, with fever-clutch, The world would claim us; and our hopes revive In spite of fears that daunt us over-much. xix. Lips may be coy; but eyes are quick, at times, To note the throbbings that are hot as crimes, And fond as flutterings of the wings of doves. For he is blind indeed who, when he loves, Doubts all he sees:--the flickering of a smile, The Parthian glance, the nod that, for a while, Outbids Elysium, and is half a jest, And half a truth, to tempt us and beguile. xx. Thine eyes have told me things I dare not speak; And I will trust the track they bid me seek, Yea, though it lead me to the gates of death! The wind is labouring:--it is out of breath; Belike for scampering up the hill so fast To say all's well with thee; and, down the blast, I seem to hear the sounds of serenades That swell from out the song-fields of the past. [Illustration: cherubs] Seventh Litany. STELLA MATUTINA. Seventh Litany. Stella Matutina. i. Arise, fair Phoebus! and with looks serene Survey the world which late the orbed Queen Did pave with pearl to please enamour'd swains. Arise! Arise! The Dark is bound in chains, And thou'rt immortal, and thy throne is here To sway the seasons, and to make it clear How much we need thee, O thou silent god! That art the crown'd controller of the year. ii. And while the breezes re-construct for thee The shimmering clouds; and while, from lea to lea, The great earth reddens with a maid's delight, Behold! I bring to thee, as yesternight, My subject song. Do thou protect apace My peerless one, my Peri with the face That is a marvel to the minds of men, And like a flower for humbleness of grace. iii. The earth which loves thee, or I much have err'd, The glad, green earth which waits, as for a word, The sound of thee, up-shuddering through the morn, The restive earth is pleased when Day is born, And soon will take each separate silent beam As proof of sex,--exulting in the dream Of joys to come, and quicken'd and convuls'd, Year after year, by love's triumphant theme. iv. A thousand times the flowers in all the fields Will bow to thee; and with their little shields The daisy-folk will muster on the plain. A thousand songs the birds will sing again, As sweet to hear as quiverings of a lute; And she I love will sing, for thy repute, Full many a song. She sings when she but speaks; And when she's near the birds should all be mute. v. O my Beloved! from thy curtain'd bed Arise, rejoice, uplift thy golden head, And be an instant, while I muse on this, As nude as statues, and as good to kiss As dear St. Agnes when she met her death, Unclad and pure and patient of her breath, And with the grace of God for wedding-gown, As many an ancient story witnesseth. vi. The bath, the plunge, the combing of the hair, All this I view,--a sight beyond compare Since Daphne died in all the varied charms Of her chaste body,--rounded regal arms, And shape supreme, too fair for human gaze, But not too fair to win the mirror's praise That throbs to see thee in thy deshabille And loves thee well through all the nights and days. vii. I see thee thus in fancy, as in books A man may see the naiads of the brooks;-- As one entranced by potions aptly given May see the angels where they walk in Heaven, And may not greet them in their high estate. For who shall guess the riddle wrought of Fate Till he be dead? And who that lives a span Shall thwart the Future where it lies in wait? viii. And now to-day a word I dare not write Starts to my lips, as when a baffled knight Witholds a song which fain he would repeat; For lo! the sense thereof is passing sweet. And, like a cup that's full, my heart is fill'd With new desires and quiverings new-distill'd From old delights; and all my pulses throb As at the touch of dreams divinely-will'd. ix. Who talks of comfort when he sees thee not And feels no fragrance of the happy lot Which violets feel, when call'd upon to lie On thy white breast? And who with amorous eye Looks at the dear tomb of the shuddering flowers, The two-fold tomb where daintily for hours They droop and muse,--who looks, I say, at these And will not own the witchery of thy powers? x. Who speaks of glory and the force of love, And thou not near, my maiden-minded dove! With all the coyness, all the beauty-sheen, Of thy rapt face? A fearless virgin-queen,-- A queen of peace art thou,--and on thy head The golden light of all thy hair is shed Most nimbus-like and most suggestive, too, Of youthful saints enshrined and garlanded. xi. Thou'rt Nature's own; and when a word of thine Rings on the air, and when the Voice Divine We call the lark upfloats amid the blue, I know not which is which, for both are true, Both meant for Heaven, though foster'd here below. And when the silences around me flow, I think of lilies and the face of thee Which hath compell'd my manhood's overthrow. xii. O blue-eyed Rapture with the radiant locks! O thou for whom, athwart the fever-shocks Of life and death and misery and much sin, I'd sell salvation! There's a prize to win And thou'rt its voucher; there's a wonder-prize, Unknown till now beneath the vaulted skies, And thou'rt its symbol; thou'rt its essence fair, Its full completion form'd adoring-wise! xiii. Yes, I will tell thee how I love thee best, And all my thoughts of thee shall be confess'd And none withheld, not e'en the witless one Which late I harbor'd when the mounting sun Burst from a cloud,--the moon a mile away, As if in hiding from the lord of day,-- As if, at times, the moon were like thyself, And fear'd the semblance of a master's sway. xiv. I love thee dearly when thine eyes are dim With unshed tears; for then they seem to swim In liquid blessedness, and unto me There comes the memory of a god's decree Which said of old:--"Be all men evermore, All men and maids whose hearts are passion-sore, Acclaim'd in Heaven!" and all day long I muse On hope's divine and deathless prophet-lore. xv. I love thee when the soft endearing flush Invades thy face, and dimples in the blush Bespeak attention,--as a rose's pout Absorbs the stillness when the sun is out, And all the air retains the glow thereof. In all the world there is not light enough Nor sheen enough, all day, nor any warmth, Till thou be near me, arm'd with some rebuff! xvi. And how I love thee when thy startled eyes Look out at me, enrapt in that surprise Which marks an epoch in the life I lead,-- As if they guess'd the scope of Eros' creed And all the mirth and malice of his wiles. For it is wondrous when my Lady smiles, And all the ground is holy where she treads, And all the air is thrill'd for many miles! xvii. In every mood of thine thou art my joy, And, day by day, to shield thee from annoy, I'd do the deeds that slaves were bound unto With stabs for payment,--shuddering through and through With their much labour; and I'd deem it grand To die for thee if, after touch of hand, I might but kiss thee as a lover doth; For I should then be king of all the land. xviii. But Father Time, old Time with Janus-face Looks o'er the sphere, and sees no fitting place For thine acceptance; for the thrones of earth Are much too mean, and in thy maiden worth Thou'rt crown'd enough, and throned in very sooth More than the queens who lord it in their youth O'er men's convictions; and He names thy name As one belov'd of Nature and of Truth. xix. He sees the nights, he sees the veering days, The sweet spring season with its hymn of praise, The summer, frondage-proud, the autumn pale, The winter worn with withering of the gale,-- All this he sees; and now, to-day, in June, He, too, recalls that rapturous afternoon When all the fields and flowers were like a dream, And all the winds the offshoot of a tune. xx. So I will cease to clamour for the past, And seek suspension of my doubts at last, In some new way till Fate becomes my friend. I will re-gain the right to re-defend The love I bear to thee, for good or ill. For though, 'tis said, our griefs have power to kill, Mine let me live, in mine unworthiness, That, spurn'd of thee, my lips may praise thee still! [Illustration: cherubs] Eighth Litany. DOMINA EXAUDI. Eighth Litany. Domina Exaudi. i. It seems a year, and more, since last we met, Since roseate spring repaid, in part, its debt To thy bright eyes, and o'er the lowlands fair Made daffodils so like thy golden hair That I, poor wretch, have kiss'd them on my knees! Forget-Me-Nots peep out beneath the trees So like thine eyes that I have question'd them, And thought thee near, though viewless on the breeze. ii. It seems a year; and yet, when all is told, 'Tis but a week since I was re-enroll'd Among thy friends. How fairy-like the scene! How gay with lamps! How fraught with tender sheen Of life and languor! I was thine alone:-- Alert for thee,--intent to catch the tone Of thy sweet voice,--and proud to be alive To call to heart a peace for ever flown. iii. Had I not vext thee, as a monk in prayer May vex a saint by musing, unaware, On evil things? A saint is hard to move, And quick to chide, and slow,--as I can prove,-- To do what's just; and yet, in thy despite, We met again, we too, at dead of night; And I was hopeful in my love of thee, And thou superb, and matchless, in the light. iv. I felt distraught from gazing over-much At thy great beauty; and I fear'd to touch The dainty hand which Envy's self hath praised. I fear'd to greet thee; and my soul was dazed And self-convicted in its new design; For I was mad to hope to call thee mine, Aye! mad as he who claims a Virgin's love Because his lips have praised her at a shrine. v. I saw thee there in all the proud array Of thy young charms,--as if a summer's day Had leapt to life and made itself a queen,-- As if the sylphs, remembering what had been, Had mission'd thee, from out the world's romance, To stir my pulse, and thrill me with a glance: And once again, allow'd, though undesired, I did become thy partner in the dance. vi. I bow'd to thee. I drew thee to my side, As one may seize a wrestler in his pride To try conclusions,--and I felt the rush Of my heart's blood suffuse me in a blush That told its tale. But what my tongue would tell Was spent in sighs, as o'er my spirit fell The silvery cadence of thy lips' assent; And every look o'er-ruled me like a spell. vii. O devil's joy of dancing, when a tune Speeds us to Heaven, and night is at the noon Of all its frolic, all its wild desire! O thrall of rapt illusions when we tire Of coy reserve, and all the moments pass As pass the visions in a magic glass, And every step is shod with ecstacy, And every smile is fleck'd with some Alas! viii. Was it a moment or a merry span Of years uncounted when convulsion ran Right through the veins of me, to make me blest, And yet accurst, in that revolving quest Known as a waltz,--if waltz indeed it were And not a fluttering dream of gauze and vair And languorous eyes? I scarce can muse thereon Without a pang too sweet for me to bear! ix. By right of music, for a fleeting term, Mine arms enwound thee and I held thee firm There on my breast,--so near, yet so remote, So close about me that I seem'd to float In sunlit rapture,--touch'd I know not how By some suggestion of a deeper vow Than men are 'ware of when, on Glory's track, They kneel to angels with uplifted brow. x. And lo! abash'd, I do recall to mind All that is past:--the yearning undefined,-- The baulk'd confession that was like a sob-- The sound of singing and the gurgling throb Of lute and viol,--meant for many things But most for misery; and a something clings Close to my heart that is not wantonness, Though, wanton-like, it warms me while it stings. xi. The night returns,--that night of all the nights! And I am dower'd anew with such delights As memory feeds on; for I walk'd with thee In moonlit gardens, and there flew to me A flower-like moth, a pinion'd daffodil, From Nature's hand; and, out beyond the hill, There rose a star I joy'd to look upon Because it seem'd the star of thy good will. xii. We sat beneath the trees, as well thou know'st, Within an arbour which a summer's boast Had made ambrosial; and we loiter'd there Some little space, the while upon the air Uprose the fragrance of uncounted flowers. Ah me! how weird a tryste was that of ours! And how the moon look'd down, so lurid-warm, Athwart the stillness of the frondage-towers! xiii. I seem'd to feel thy breath upon my cheek; I vainly searched for words I long'd to speak, But could not utter lest the sound thereof Should scare away the elves that wait on love. And when I spoke to thee 'twas of the spot Where we were seated,--things that matter'd not,-- Uncared for things,--the weather,--the new laws! And, sudden-loud, the wind assail'd the grot. xiv. A little bird was warbling overhead As if to twit me with the word unsaid Which he, more daring, when the sun was high, Trill'd to his mate! He knew the tender "why" Of many a pleading, and he knew, meseems, The very key-note to the lyric dreams Of all true poets when, by love impell'd, They search the secrets of the woods and streams. xv. 'Tis sure that summer, when she rear'd the bower And arched the roof and gave it all the dower Of all its leaves, and all the crannies small Where wrens look through,--'tis sure that, after all, Summer was kind, and meant to make for me A shriving-place,--a lighthouse on the sea Of all that verdure,--that, beneath the stars, I might receive one quickening glance from thee. xvi. Oh! had I dared to whisper in thine ear My heart-full wish, undaunted by the fear Of some rebuke:--a flush of thy fair face, A lifted hand to tell me that the place Was fairy-fenced, and guarded as by flame,-- Oh! had I dared to court the word of blame That's good for me, no doubt! at every turn, My life to-day were chasten'd by the same. xvii. But I was conscious of a sudden ban Hurl'd from the zenith. I was like the man Who scaled Olympus, with intent to bring New fire therefrom, and dared not face the King Of thought and thunder. I was full prepared For thy displeasure,--for the past was bared To mine on-looking; and, with faltering tongue, I left my languorous meanings undeclared. xviii. O lost Occasion! what a thing art thou:-- A three-fold key,--the when, the where, the how,-- The past, the present and the future tense,-- All thrown aside. For what? A witless sense Of some compunction! When the hour is bold Reason is shy, and rapture, seeming-cold, Makes mute surrender of its dearest chance, And all for fear of doubts that might be told. xix. But could we meet, oh! could we meet again On some such night, unseen upon the plain, I'd rob thee, Lady! of a tardy smile. I would do this; and, for a breathing-while, I would assert a sinner's right to pray, A sinner's right to choose, as best he may, His patron-saint; and I would kneel to thee, And call thee mine, and dote on thee for aye! xx. And then in summer, when the hours are mad, And all the flow'rets in the fields are glad, And all the breezes, like demented things Outspeed the birds with sunlight on their wings, In summer, aye! in summer's gracious time, I might perchance be pardon'd for the crime Of my much love, and win thy benison Ere yet the year has reached its golden prime! [Illustration: CHERUB] Ninth Litany. LILIUM INTER SPINAS. Ninth Litany. Lilium inter Spinas. i. Dearest and best of maidens, whom the Fates have dower'd with beauty, whom the glory-gates Have shown so splendid in my waking sight, Is't well, thou syren! thus to haunt the night And grant no mercy, none from week to week All through the year? Is't well my soul to seek And shun my body? Is't throughout ordain'd That thou shouldst spurn a love so tender-meek? ii. It is my joy to serve thee, 'tis my pride To own my follies, though anew denied The chance of wisdom, and for this, who knows? I shall be counted, ere the season's close, A time-perverter. Yes! I shall be shamed, And frown'd upon, and day by day proclaim'd A foe to virtue, though, in seeking thee I seek the goal that Virtue's self hath named. iii. O Lily mine! O Lily tipp'd with gold And welkin-eyed for angels to behold When down on earth! Is't well to stand apart And gaze at me and gently break my heart Without one word? Is't well to seem alway So grieved to see me, when, at fall of day, Thou dost accept the reverence of mine eyes, But not the homage that my lips would pay? iv. Oh, give me back again, at midnight hour, As in the circuit of that starlit bower, The right to talk with thee, and be thy friend,-- The right, in some wild way, to make an end Of my submission, or to re-bestow My troth on thee,--despite the overthrow Of all my dreams, that were my constant care, Though less to thee than flakes of alien snow. v. I will unveil my meanings one by one, And tell thee why the bird that loves the sun Loves not the moon, though conscious of her fame. For he's the soul of truth, in his acclaim, And knows not treason! And of like intent Are all my yearnings, too, when I lament. And, though I say it, there's no troubadour Has lov'd as I, since Cupid's bow was bent. vi. I have been wed in sleep, and thou hast been Mine own true bride,--the swooning summer-queen Of my heart-throbs. I have been wed in jest! I have been taken wildly to thy breast, And then repell'd, and made to feel the ire Of eager eyes that have the strange desire To rack my soul, a-tremble in the dark, But not the will to aid me to aspire. vii. I should have died the instant that I heard Thy whisper'd vow in slumber,--when a word Made me thy master, for I did receive Thy full surrender, and I'll not believe That all was false; or that my dreaming-power Was given for nought. The Future may devour The facts of earth, but not its phantasies, And not the dreams we dream from hour to hour. viii. Oh, thou'lt confess that love from man to maid Is more than kingdoms,--more than light and shade In sky-built gardens where the minstrels dwell, And more than ransom from the bonds of Hell. Thou wilt, I say, admit the truth of this, And half relent that, shrinking from a kiss, Thou didst consign me to mine own disdain, Athwart the raptures of a vision'd bliss. ix. I'll seek no joy that is not link'd with thine, No touch of hope, no taste of holy wine, And, after death, no home in any star That is not shared by thee, supreme, afar, As here thou'rt first and foremost of all things! Glory is thine and gladness and the wings That wait on thought when, in thy spirit-sway, Thou dost invest a realm unknown to kings. x. I will accept of thee a poison-bowl And drink the dregs thereof,--aye! to the soul,-- And sound thy praises with my latest breath! I was a pilgrim bound for Nazareth, But when I knew thee, when I touched thy hand, I changed my purpose; and to-day I stand Thine amorous vassal, though denounced afresh And warn'd away, unkiss'd, from Edenland. xi. O flower unequall'd here from morn to morn, Is't well, bethink thee, with a rose's thorn To deck thyself, thou lily! and to seem So irresponsive to my passion-dream? Is't a caprice of thine to look so proud, And so severe, athwart the shining cloud Of thy long hair? And shall I never learn How least to grieve thee when my vows are vow'd? xii. The full perfection of thy face is such That, like a child's, it seems to know the touch Of some glad hour that God has smiled upon. There is a whiteness whiter than the swan, A singing sweeter than the linnet's note. But there is nothing whiter than thy throat, And nothing sweeter than thy tender voice When, love-attuned, it skyward seems to float. xiii. Lily and rose in one! To find thy peer Exceeds belief, all through the varying year, For chance thereof, and hope thereof, is none. There comes no rival to the rising sun, And none to thee!--no rival to the moon That sets in Venice on the far lagoon, And none to thee, thou marvel of the months, That art the cynosure of night and noon! xiv. Yes, I will hope. I will not cease to turn My thoughts to thee, and cry to thee, and yearn As one in Hell may lift enamour'd eyes To some sweet soul beyond the central skies Whose face has slain him! For 'tis true, I swear: I have been murder'd by thy golden hair, And by the brightness of those fringed orbs That are at once my joy and my despair. xv. Winter is wild; but spring will come again; For there's compunction in the fever-pain That earth endures when, clamorous down the steep, The wind out-blows the curse it cannot keep. And so, belike, thy scorn of me may change To something fairer than the fated range Of dole, and doubt, and pity, and reproof; And then my sighs may cease to seem so strange. xvi. For thou and I will meet and not be foes, E'en as the rue may stand beside the rose And not affront it,--as a lonely tree May guard a shrine and not upon the lea Be deem'd obtrusive,--as an errant knight May serve the sovereign of his soul's delight And not, thereby, be deem'd of less account Than he who keeps her daily in his sight. xvii. Reject me not that in the world of men, Among the wielders of the sword and pen I have, as 'twere, detractors by the score,-- Reject me not for faults that I deplore And fain would alter,--though, if I were wise, I'd blunt the edge thereof in some disguise Approved of thee! For I've a kind of hope That we'll be friends again ere summer dies. xviii. If this be true I'll greet thee with such fire That thou wilt throb thereat, as throbs a lyre, And give thine answer, too, without restraint, And neither frown at me nor fear a taint In my much zeal, that knows not any pause But, night and day, is constant to the laws Of its own making, and is fain to prove How leagued it is throughout to Honor's cause. xix. I will conceal from thee no thought of mine. All will be clear as signing of a sign On marriage-scrips; and, though I tell thee so, The seas and streams of earth shall cease to flow Ere thou shalt find, in this world or the next, A love so proud, a faith so firmly sex'd, As this of mine. For thou'rt the polar star To which I turn as minstrel to his text. xx. But woe's the hour! My heart is wounded sore, And soon may cease to take, as heretofore, Such keen delight in tears that comfort not, But evermore do seem to leave a blot On sorrow's teaching! Shall I muse thereon One season more, till hope and faith be gone? Or must I look for comfort up in Heaven And then be slain by thee as night by dawn? [Illustration: cherubs] Tenth Litany. GLORIA IN EXCELSIS. Tenth Litany. Gloria in Excelsis. i. O Love! O Lustre of the sunlit earth That knows thy step and revels in the worth Of thy much beauty! Is't thy will anew, Famed as thou art, to marvel that I sue With such persistence, and in such unrest Amid the frenzies of my passion-quest? Wilt look ungently, and without a tear, On all the pangs I bear at thy behest? ii. Morning and eve I cease not, when I kneel To my Redeemer for my spirit's weal And for my body's,--as becomes a man,-- Morning and eve I cease not in the span Of all my days, O thou Unconquer'd One! To pray for thee, and do what may be done To re-acquire the friendship I have lost, Which is the holiest thing beneath the sun. iii. For what is fame that with so loud a voice O'ersways the nations? What the random choice Of sight and sound which makes the place we fill So fraught with good, so redolent of ill? Where is the thunderstorm of yesternight That shook the clouds? And where the levin's blight That spake of chaos and the Judgment Day? And where the wisdom of a king's delight? iv. Could I be kiss'd of thee, or crown'd of men, I'd choose the kiss. I'd be ordained then Lord of myself, and not the slave I seem To each new doubt. Our tryste was like a dream And yet 'twas true. For oft, by wonder-chance, We find the path to many a bright romance, And many a tilt and tourney of dear love In which the brave are vanquish'd by a glance. v. To lie alone with thee one little hour, And cling to thee as flower may cling to flower, With no rough thought beyond the peace thereof,-- To be thy comrade, and to don and doff The little chain that hangs about thy neck,-- To do all this, my Fair One! and to fleck Thine eyes with kisses, were a righteous deed, And not a thing for Love to hold in check. vi. Nay, there are dimples which I long to taste, And there's a girdle fit for Phoebe's waist Which I would loosen; for I have the skill To handle lilies; and, by Venus' will, I'd handle thee, and comfort thee therein. For love's a sacrament I'd die to win, And not a toy nor yet a subterfuge; And not a pitfall for the feet of sin. vii. The searching suddenness of thy blue eyes, The flash thereof, the fire that in them lies,-- All this I yearn to,--all the soul of thee Shown in thy looks, as though to solace me In some disaster portion'd out as mine. Where thou abidest, where thy limbs recline, Where thou'rt absorb'd in silence or in prayer, There stands a throne, there gleams a fairy shrine. viii. I am, indeed, more subject to thy sway Than trees are subject, in their tender way, To earth's great king revolving round the sphere. I am thy suffering servant all the year; And when I wake thy name is on my lips, And when I sleep I feel thy finger-tips Press'd on mine eyes, as if thy wraith were there, To save my soul from night's entire eclipse. ix. Till I have heard from thee my doom of death I shall be proud to serve thee with my breath, And with my labour, and be thine withal As Man is God's,--content with any thrall That's bound in thee; content with any lot That's link'd with thine, in some secluded spot Which thou hast lov'd, O Lady! in the past, And where remorse and wrong will find us not. x. To know thee fair, ah God! how sweet is this; To find thee wavering, and to grasp in bliss Only the dream of thee, how sad the while! And yet, by reason of a moment's smile, How grand to hope, how gracious to forget! Thou false to me? Thou heedless of a debt Of love's incurring? Nay, by Juno's crown, Thy snow-white hand shall be my guerdon yet! xi. The spirit-love that leads us to the soul Athwart the body as its fairest goal,-- The love that lives in languor undefined And yet is strong,--the love that can be kind And yet aggressive as a soldier's blade, Keen to the hilt, entranced and not afraid,-- This is the love that will survive the death Of all endowments which the years have made. xii. Wilt frown at this? Wilt chide me? Wilt appeal, As some are wont, when lovers, out of zeal, O'erstep the bounds of wisdom which hath ceased To win men's praise? The Matins of the East Sung by the lark,--the Credo of the Cloud Which oft he sings in confirmation proud Of his great love,--all this were mine excuse If I could sing as he, so dawn-endow'd. xiii. For I'd be welcome, then, where'er thou art, And gladden thee, and play as prompt a part As Romeo play'd with Juliet at his breast. Who loves not love, who hates to be caress'd, Is Nature's bane; and I'll denounce him, too. For he's a foe to all that's just and true In earth and Heaven; and when he seeks a joy, His quest shall fail,--his hand shall miss the clue. xiv. We know these things. We know how dark a word May let in light, and how the smallest bird May mix the morn with music till we think The fire-lit air is wine for us to drink,-- And every drop salvation,--every sound A Muse's whisper,--all the flower-full ground A fancy-carpet fit for knights to tread When on their way to Arthur's Table Round. xv. A peevish fool is he who will not raise His hands in prayer, among the danger-days That come to all; for he, when waxen old, Will search the past and find it callous-cold; And all the future, too, will freeze for him. Nor shall he weep aright when tears bedim His desperate, doleful eyes that know not faith; And he shall hear no chants of cherubim. xvi. I was bewitch'd of late! My soul had met Some fearful doom; and there had dropt a threat,-- A curse belike,--from lips of Atropos. There had been done a deed of spirit-loss Which did o'erwhelm me as I paused thereat. But now 'tis shunn'd; and where a Tremor sat Now sits a Hope; and where a gulf was seen Now stands a mount as blest as Ararat. xvii. The rose is silent, and the lily dumb For Man alone. He sees them when they come Glad from the soil; but what they mean thereby, And what they dream of, when they front the sky, Eludes his learning. But the birds can tell. Moths talk to flowers; and breezes in the dell Hear more confessions than we men reveal; And oaks and cedars love each other well. xviii. In woodland places where the grass is lit With lamp-like flowers, I seem to see thee flit On azure wings, as if to bless the glade; For, everywhere, thy form in shine and shade Doth come and go, conversant, as I deem, With Nature's whims; for thou'rt of great esteem In fairy haunts; and elves and fays confess How sweet thou art, my Love! and how supreme. xix. Diana's self was not more virgin-proud. The maiden-moon, new-seated on a cloud That seems her throne where she receives the stars,-- The moon who holds her court beyond the jars Of land and sea,--the moon, the vestal moon, Has kept thee cold since the transcendant noon Of that wild day when I thy hand did claim, And when thy lips refused me their boon. xx. But thoughts are free; and mine have found at last Their apt solution; and, from out the past, There seems to shine as 'twere a beacon-fire; And all the land is lit with large desire Of lambent glory; all the quivering sea Is big with waves that wait the Morn's decree, As I, thy vassal, wait thy beckoning smile Athwart the splendors of my dreams of Thee! Amen! THE LEADENHALL PRESS LONDON, E. C T 4,258. Extracts from Field and Tuer's Book List. The Leadenhall Press, 50, Leadenhall Street, E. C. _Upwards of 300 Superb Illustrations (some beautifully hand-coloured.)_ Kensington: PICTURESQUE AND HISTORICAL. By W. J. Loftie, B.A., F.S.A., Author of "A History of London," &c., &c. Illustrated by W. Luker, Jun., from Original Drawings carefully finished on the spot and engraved in Paris. LONDON: Field & Tuer, The Leadenhall Press, E. C. [L2 5s. Since the publication of Faulkner's work in 1820, no history of Kensington pretending to accuracy or completeness has been produced. 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