## The Project Gutenberg eBook of The limerick up to date book

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

Title: The limerick up to date book

Author: Ethel Watts Mumford Grant

Illustrator: Ethel Watts Mumford Grant

Addison Mizner

Release date: April 1, 2026 [eBook #78335]

Language: English

Original publication: San Francisco: Paul Elder and Company, 1903

Other information and formats: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/78335

Credits: The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LIMERICK UP TO DATE BOOK ***

Please see the Transcriber’s Notes at the end of this text.

[1]

# THE
LIMERICK
UP TO
DATE BOOK

[2]

THE
LIMERICK
UP TO
DATE BOOK

Composed and Collected by
Ethel Watts Mumford

Illustrated and Decorated by
Ethel Watts Mumford and
Addison Mizner

San Francisco
Published by Paul Elder and Company
1903

THE
LIMERICK
UP TO
DATE BOOK

Composed and Collected by
Ethel Watts Mumford

Illustrated and Decorated by
Ethel Watts Mumford and
Addison Mizner

San Francisco
Published by Paul Elder and Company
1903

[3]

Copyright 1903
by Paul Elder

The Tomoyé Press
San Francisco

[4]

[5]

MEMORANDA

[6]

## Good Resolutions.

Good Resolutions.

John woke on Jan. first and felt queer;
Said, “Crackers I’ll swear off this year!
For the lobster and wine
And the rabbit were fine,
And it certainly wasn’t the beer.”

January

Janvier 1

2

Januar 3

4

Enero 5

6

Gennaio 7

Good Resolutions.

John woke on Jan. first and felt queer;
Said, “Crackers I’ll swear off this year!
For the lobster and wine
And the rabbit were fine,
And it certainly wasn’t the beer.”

January

Janvier 1

2

Januar 3

4

Enero 5

6

Gennaio 7

[7]

MEMORANDA

[8]

## Beware of Rash Judgments.

Jan.

Beware of Rash Judgments.

A dame at the beaches of Florida,
All the ladies said couldn’t be horrider;
But she proved them all wrong,
And she said, “Go along!”
While the climate grew torrid and torrider.

January

Janvier 8

9

Januar 10

11

Enero 12

13

Gennaio 14

Ἰανουάριος 15

Jan.

Beware of Rash Judgments.

A dame at the beaches of Florida,
All the ladies said couldn’t be horrider;
But she proved them all wrong,
And she said, “Go along!”
While the climate grew torrid and torrider.

January

Janvier 8

9

Januar 10

11

Enero 12

13

Gennaio 14

Ἰανουάριος 15

[9]

MEMORANDA

[10]

## Flattery.

Flattery.

Said the lady, “With you I’ll not go,
You’re reported to be far from slow.”
Said he, turning red,
With a smile quite o’erspread—
“O Madame, don’t flatter me so!”

January

Janvier 16

17

Januar 18

19

Enero 20

21

Gennaio 22

Ἰανουάριος 23

Flattery.

Said the lady, “With you I’ll not go,
You’re reported to be far from slow.”
Said he, turning red,
With a smile quite o’erspread—
“O Madame, don’t flatter me so!”

January

Janvier 16

17

Januar 18

19

Enero 20

21

Gennaio 22

Ἰανουάριος 23

[11]

MEMORANDA

[12]

## Lavishness.

Jan.

Lavishness.

There was a young lady named Julie,
Who was terribly fond of patchouli;
She used bottles seven,
’Til she smelt up to heaven,
Which made all the angels unruly.

January

Janvier 24

25

Januar 26

27

Enero 28

29

Gennaio 30

Ἰανουάριος 31

Jan.

Lavishness.

There was a young lady named Julie,
Who was terribly fond of patchouli;
She used bottles seven,
’Til she smelt up to heaven,
Which made all the angels unruly.

January

Janvier 24

25

Januar 26

27

Enero 28

29

Gennaio 30

Ἰανουάριος 31

[13]

MEMORANDA

[14]

## The Wicked Punster.

The Wicked Punster.

Said a sporty young person named Groat,
Who owned an old race-horse of note,
“I consider it smart
To lunch a la cart,
But the horse always takes table d’oat.”

February

Février 1

2

Februar 3

4

Febrero 5

6

Febbraio 7

The Wicked Punster.

Said a sporty young person named Groat,
Who owned an old race-horse of note,
“I consider it smart
To lunch a la cart,
But the horse always takes table d’oat.”

February

Février 1

2

Februar 3

4

Febrero 5

6

Febbraio 7

[15]

MEMORANDA

[16]

## The Church-Goer.

Feb.

The Church-Goer.

There was a young man who said, “There,
I will sneak out during this prayer!”
But the squeak of his shoes
So enlivened the pews,
That he sat down again in despair.

February

Février 8

9

Februar 10

11

Febrero 12

13

Febbraio 14

Feb.

The Church-Goer.

There was a young man who said, “There,
I will sneak out during this prayer!”
But the squeak of his shoes
So enlivened the pews,
That he sat down again in despair.

February

Février 8

9

Februar 10

11

Febrero 12

13

Febbraio 14

[17]

MEMORANDA

[18]

## Speak Kindly.

Speak Kindly.

She’s so homely you’d think she would smother,
And her back view is just like her brother.
Her eyes are both bent,
And her nose is a dent;
But then, “she’s so good to her mother!”

February

Février 15

16

Februar 17

18

Febrero 19

20

Febbraio 21

Speak Kindly.

She’s so homely you’d think she would smother,
And her back view is just like her brother.
Her eyes are both bent,
And her nose is a dent;
But then, “she’s so good to her mother!”

February

Février 15

16

Februar 17

18

Febrero 19

20

Febbraio 21

[19]

MEMORANDA

[20]

## Good Manners.

Feb.

Good Manners.

There was a young person of Tottenhem,
Whose manners, Good Lord! she’d forgotten ’em.
When she went to the vicar’s,
She took off her knickers,
Because she said she was hot in ’em.

February

Février 22

23

Februar 24

25

Febrero 26

27

Febbraio 28

Feb.

Good Manners.

There was a young person of Tottenhem,
Whose manners, Good Lord! she’d forgotten ’em.
When she went to the vicar’s,
She took off her knickers,
Because she said she was hot in ’em.

February

Février 22

23

Februar 24

25

Febrero 26

27

Febbraio 28

[21]

MEMORANDA

[22]

## Appearances are Deceitful.

Appearances are Deceitful.

There was a young lady of Skye,
With a shape like a capital I;
She said, “It’s too bad!
But then I can pad,”—
Which shows you that figures can lie.

March

Mars 1

2

März 3

4

Marzo 5

6

Μάρτιος 7

Appearances are Deceitful.

There was a young lady of Skye,
With a shape like a capital I;
She said, “It’s too bad!
But then I can pad,”—
Which shows you that figures can lie.

March

Mars 1

2

März 3

4

Marzo 5

6

Μάρτιος 7

[23]

MEMORANDA

[24]

## Tact.

March

Tact.

There was a bright person named Biddle,
Who asked everybody a riddle.
When asked, “Can you tell
The answer as well?”
He replied, “I begin in the middle.”

March

Mars 8

9

März 10

11

Marzo 12

13

Μάρτιος 14

March

Tact.

There was a bright person named Biddle,
Who asked everybody a riddle.
When asked, “Can you tell
The answer as well?”
He replied, “I begin in the middle.”

March

Mars 8

9

März 10

11

Marzo 12

13

Μάρτιος 14

[25]

MEMORANDA

[26]

## Sculpture.

Sculpture.

There was an old sculptor named Phidias,
Whose knowledge of Art was invidious.
He carved Aphrodite
Without any nightie—
Which startled the purely fastidious.

March

Mars 15

16

März 17

18

Marzo 19

20

Μάρτιος 21

Sculpture.

There was an old sculptor named Phidias,
Whose knowledge of Art was invidious.
He carved Aphrodite
Without any nightie—
Which startled the purely fastidious.

March

Mars 15

16

März 17

18

Marzo 19

20

Μάρτιος 21

[27]

MEMORANDA

[28]

## Intemperance.

March

Intemperance.

There once was a baker named Dunn,
Who always was out for the fun,
And although it was said
He was very well bred,
He spent all his dough on a “bun”!

March

Mars 22

23

März 24

25

Marzo 26

27

Μάρτιος 28

March

Intemperance.

There once was a baker named Dunn,
Who always was out for the fun,
And although it was said
He was very well bred,
He spent all his dough on a “bun”!

March

Mars 22

23

März 24

25

Marzo 26

27

Μάρτιος 28

[29]

MEMORANDA

[30]

## The Careful Buyer.

The Careful Buyer.

There was an old man of Madrid,
Who went to an auction to bid;
He bought, if you please,
A case of old cheese—
But oh, Gosh! when they lifted the lid!

March

Mars 29

30

März 31

The Careful Buyer.

There was an old man of Madrid,
Who went to an auction to bid;
He bought, if you please,
A case of old cheese—
But oh, Gosh! when they lifted the lid!

March

Mars 29

30

März 31

[31]

MEMORANDA

[32]

## A Quiet Life.

April

A Quiet Life.

An Abbess whom all did admire,
To holiness much did aspire.
When asked to a ball,
She replied, “Not at all;
I’ve another engagement that’s Prior.”

April

Avril 1

2

April 3

4

Abril 5

6

Aprile 7

April

A Quiet Life.

An Abbess whom all did admire,
To holiness much did aspire.
When asked to a ball,
She replied, “Not at all;
I’ve another engagement that’s Prior.”

April

Avril 1

2

April 3

4

Abril 5

6

Aprile 7

[33]

MEMORANDA

[34]

## Gentleness.

Gentleness.

There was a fair maiden of Siam,
Who said to her lover, “O Priam,
You may kiss me, of course,
But you’ve got to use force—
And, God knows, you are stronger than I am!”

April

Avril 8

9

April 10

11

Abril 12

13

Aprile 14

Ἀπρίλιος 15

Gentleness.

There was a fair maiden of Siam,
Who said to her lover, “O Priam,
You may kiss me, of course,
But you’ve got to use force—
And, God knows, you are stronger than I am!”

April

Avril 8

9

April 10

11

Abril 12

13

Aprile 14

Ἀπρίλιος 15

[35]

MEMORANDA

[36]

## Exasperation.

April

Exasperation.

There was an old person named Sam,
Who was wearied of Omar Khayyam.
Fitzgerald, you know,
Is the whole of the show;
But this cult and this music, “Oh, d——!”

April

Avril 16

17

April 18

19

Abril 20

21

Aprile 22

Ἀπρίλιος 23

April

Exasperation.

There was an old person named Sam,
Who was wearied of Omar Khayyam.
Fitzgerald, you know,
Is the whole of the show;
But this cult and this music, “Oh, d——!”

April

Avril 16

17

April 18

19

Abril 20

21

Aprile 22

Ἀπρίλιος 23

[37]

MEMORANDA

[38]

## The Kind Beadle.

The Kind Beadle.

There was an old lady of Threedle,
Who sat down in church on a needle;
Tho’ deeply embedded,
’Twas luckily threaded,
And quickly pulled out by the beadle.

April

Avril 24

25

April 26

27

Abril 28

29

Aprile 30

The Kind Beadle.

There was an old lady of Threedle,
Who sat down in church on a needle;
Tho’ deeply embedded,
’Twas luckily threaded,
And quickly pulled out by the beadle.

April

Avril 24

25

April 26

27

Abril 28

29

Aprile 30

[39]

MEMORANDA

[40]

## Improper Language.

May

Improper Language.

There was a fair maid of Oshkosh,
Who on Tuesday cried out, “Oh, by Gosh!”
For up on the roof
There was ocular proof
That some one had stolen the wash.

May

Mai 1

2

Mäi 3

4

Mayo 5

6

Maggio 7

May

Improper Language.

There was a fair maid of Oshkosh,
Who on Tuesday cried out, “Oh, by Gosh!”
For up on the roof
There was ocular proof
That some one had stolen the wash.

May

Mai 1

2

Mäi 3

4

Mayo 5

6

Maggio 7

[41]

MEMORANDA

[42]

## Make the Best of Adverse Circumstances.

Make the Best of Adverse Circumstances.

There was a young person named Clyde,
Who was once at a funeral espied.
When asked who was dead,
He smilingly said:
“I don’t know—I just came for the ride.”

May

Mai 8

9

Mäi 10

11

Mayo 12

13

Maggio 14

Make the Best of Adverse Circumstances.

There was a young person named Clyde,
Who was once at a funeral espied.
When asked who was dead,
He smilingly said:
“I don’t know—I just came for the ride.”

May

Mai 8

9

Mäi 10

11

Mayo 12

13

Maggio 14

[43]

MEMORANDA

[44]

## Devotion.

May

Devotion.

There once was a fellow most kind,
Who, when loving, went at it quite blind.
He said, “That’s all right,
But she’s so out of sight
That I can’t keep her out of my mind!”

May

Mai 15

16

Mäi 17

18

Mayo 19

20

Maggio 21

May

Devotion.

There once was a fellow most kind,
Who, when loving, went at it quite blind.
He said, “That’s all right,
But she’s so out of sight
That I can’t keep her out of my mind!”

May

Mai 15

16

Mäi 17

18

Mayo 19

20

Maggio 21

[45]

MEMORANDA

[46]

## Always Save for a Rainy Day.

Always Save for a Rainy Day.

There was a young lady named Jane,
Who went out to walk in the rain;
Her skirts were so lacey
It really was racey,
And drove all the chappies insane.

May

Mai 22

23

Mäi 24

25

Mayo 26

27

Maggio 28

Always Save for a Rainy Day.

There was a young lady named Jane,
Who went out to walk in the rain;
Her skirts were so lacey
It really was racey,
And drove all the chappies insane.

May

Mai 22

23

Mäi 24

25

Mayo 26

27

Maggio 28

[47]

MEMORANDA

[48]

## Be Careful.

May

Be Careful.

There was a young man from the Cape,
Who always wore trousers of crêpe.
When asked, “Do they tear?”
He replied, “Here and there—
But they keep such a wonderful shape.”

May

Mai 29

30

Mäi 31

May

Be Careful.

There was a young man from the Cape,
Who always wore trousers of crêpe.
When asked, “Do they tear?”
He replied, “Here and there—
But they keep such a wonderful shape.”

May

Mai 29

30

Mäi 31

[49]

MEMORANDA

[50]

## Seize Opportunities.

Seize Opportunities.

There was an old lady of Lee,
Who invited the curate to tea.
He said, “You quite shine
In the housewifely line.”
“Oh, this is so sudden!” said she.

June

Juin 1

2

Juni 3

4

Junio 5

6

Giugno 7

Seize Opportunities.

There was an old lady of Lee,
Who invited the curate to tea.
He said, “You quite shine
In the housewifely line.”
“Oh, this is so sudden!” said she.

June

Juin 1

2

Juni 3

4

Junio 5

6

Giugno 7

[51]

MEMORANDA

[52]

## Seek After Knowledge.

June

Seek After Knowledge.

A man with the brain of a linnet
Asked forty-two questions a minute.
When they said, “Mind your biz!”
He said, “Envy it is,
’Cause you know just how strictly I’m in it.”

June

Juin 8

9

Juni 10

11

Junio 12

13

Giugno 14

Ἰούνιος 15

June

Seek After Knowledge.

A man with the brain of a linnet
Asked forty-two questions a minute.
When they said, “Mind your biz!”
He said, “Envy it is,
’Cause you know just how strictly I’m in it.”

June

Juin 8

9

Juni 10

11

Junio 12

13

Giugno 14

Ἰούνιος 15

[53]

MEMORANDA

[54]

## Respect for Age.

Respect for Age.

There was an old beau of Formosa,
Who ne’er was content with a “No, sah!”
The strength of his arm
Oft excited alarm,
And his motto was “closah and closah.”

June

Juin 16

17

Juni 18

19

Junio 20

21

Giugno 22

Ἰούνιος 23

Respect for Age.

There was an old beau of Formosa,
Who ne’er was content with a “No, sah!”
The strength of his arm
Oft excited alarm,
And his motto was “closah and closah.”

June

Juin 16

17

Juni 18

19

Junio 20

21

Giugno 22

Ἰούνιος 23

[55]

MEMORANDA

[56]

## Uncertainty.

June

Uncertainty.

A lady once had a bad habit:
She couldn’t see cheese but she’d nab it.
She said, “Memory fails—
Is the rabbit from Wales?
Or do the wails come from the rabbit?”

June

Juin 24

25

Juni 26

27

Junio 28

29

Giugno 30

June

Uncertainty.

A lady once had a bad habit:
She couldn’t see cheese but she’d nab it.
She said, “Memory fails—
Is the rabbit from Wales?
Or do the wails come from the rabbit?”

June

Juin 24

25

Juni 26

27

Junio 28

29

Giugno 30

[57]

MEMORANDA

[58]

## Retort Courteous.

Retort Courteous.

There was a young lady of Wilts,
Who walked all through Scotland on stilts.
When they said, “Oh, how shocking,
To see so much stocking!”
She said, “How about you and your kilts?”

July

Juillet 1

2

Juli 3

4

Julio 5

6

Luglio 7

Retort Courteous.

There was a young lady of Wilts,
Who walked all through Scotland on stilts.
When they said, “Oh, how shocking,
To see so much stocking!”
She said, “How about you and your kilts?”

July

Juillet 1

2

Juli 3

4

Julio 5

6

Luglio 7

[59]

MEMORANDA

[60]

## Generosity.

July

Generosity.

There was a young lady of Venice,
Who used hard-boiled eggs to play tennis.
When they cried, “You are wrong!”
She replied, “Go along—
You don’t know how prolific my hen is.”

July

Juillet 8

9

Juli 10

11

Julio 12

13

Luglio 14

July

Generosity.

There was a young lady of Venice,
Who used hard-boiled eggs to play tennis.
When they cried, “You are wrong!”
She replied, “Go along—
You don’t know how prolific my hen is.”

July

Juillet 8

9

Juli 10

11

Julio 12

13

Luglio 14

[61]

MEMORANDA

[62]

## Art.

Art.

There was a fair dame whose manœuvre
Was to get her portrait in the Louvre;
But they sent it away
The very first day—
And it’s now in a dive in Vancouvre.

July

Juillet 15

16

Juli 17

18

Julio 19

20

Luglio 21

Art.

There was a fair dame whose manœuvre
Was to get her portrait in the Louvre;
But they sent it away
The very first day—
And it’s now in a dive in Vancouvre.

July

Juillet 15

16

Juli 17

18

Julio 19

20

Luglio 21

[63]

MEMORANDA

[64]

## Comparisons are Odious.

July

Comparisons are Odious.

A talented artist (Ed Lanseer),
Said, “Beau Brummel, I won’t paint these pants here;
I assure you, I can’t see
That they are so fancy—
Why, last week I saw a dog-fancier.”

July

Juillet 22

23

Juli 24

25

Julio 26

27

Luglio 28

July

Comparisons are Odious.

A talented artist (Ed Lanseer),
Said, “Beau Brummel, I won’t paint these pants here;
I assure you, I can’t see
That they are so fancy—
Why, last week I saw a dog-fancier.”

July

Juillet 22

23

Juli 24

25

Julio 26

27

Luglio 28

[65]

MEMORANDA

[66]

## Inspiration.

Inspiration.

An old person who lived by his pen,
Cried, “Goody! I’ve got ’em again!
A poem I’ll write,
’Bout the dawning of night,
That will easily collar a ten!”

July

Juillet 29

30

Juli 31

Inspiration.

An old person who lived by his pen,
Cried, “Goody! I’ve got ’em again!
A poem I’ll write,
’Bout the dawning of night,
That will easily collar a ten!”

July

Juillet 29

30

Juli 31

[67]

MEMORANDA

[68]

## Popularity.

Aug.

Popularity.

A musician there was—Paderewski—
Who never would drink nor would chewski;
As a Matineé blade,
He made Hackett afraid,
And quite broke the heart of John Drewski.

August

Août 1

2

August 3

4

Agosto 5

6

Αὔγουστος 7

Aug.

Popularity.

A musician there was—Paderewski—
Who never would drink nor would chewski;
As a Matineé blade,
He made Hackett afraid,
And quite broke the heart of John Drewski.

August

Août 1

2

August 3

4

Agosto 5

6

Αὔγουστος 7

[69]

MEMORANDA

[70]

## Truth.

Truth.

There was a young lady named Maude,
Who said she was “awfully boahed,”
For all men she hated,
Both single and mated—
But in the dark corners—Good Lawd!

August

Août 8

9

August 10

11

Agosto 12

13

Agosto 14

Αὔγουστος 15

Truth.

There was a young lady named Maude,
Who said she was “awfully boahed,”
For all men she hated,
Both single and mated—
But in the dark corners—Good Lawd!

August

Août 8

9

August 10

11

Agosto 12

13

Agosto 14

Αὔγουστος 15

[71]

MEMORANDA

[72]

## A Good Girl.

Aug.

A Good Girl.

Eliza she never was nifty,
She was kindly and gentle and thrifty;
She gave poor people pies,
And she never made eyes—
But then—she was seven and fifty!

August

Août 16

17

August 18

19

Agosto 20

21

Agosto 22

Αὔγουστος 23

Aug.

A Good Girl.

Eliza she never was nifty,
She was kindly and gentle and thrifty;
She gave poor people pies,
And she never made eyes—
But then—she was seven and fifty!

August

Août 16

17

August 18

19

Agosto 20

21

Agosto 22

Αὔγουστος 23

[73]

MEMORANDA

[74]

## Do Not be Persistent.

Do Not be Persistent.

There once was a promising hound,
The fleetest that ever was found;
But his friends all declare,
That when chasing the hare,
He was running things into the ground.

August

Août 24

25

August 26

27

Agosto 28

29

Agosto 30

Αὔγουστος 31

Do Not be Persistent.

There once was a promising hound,
The fleetest that ever was found;
But his friends all declare,
That when chasing the hare,
He was running things into the ground.

August

Août 24

25

August 26

27

Agosto 28

29

Agosto 30

Αὔγουστος 31

[75]

MEMORANDA

[76]

## Never Swear.

Sept.

Never Swear.

A kindly old person named Tom,
Manufactured a dynamite bomb.
One day in annoy,
He cast it at a boy,—
Saying, “Gracious! I nearly said Domn!”

September

Septembre 1

2

September 3

4

Setiembre 5

6

Settembre 7

Sept.

Never Swear.

A kindly old person named Tom,
Manufactured a dynamite bomb.
One day in annoy,
He cast it at a boy,—
Saying, “Gracious! I nearly said Domn!”

September

Septembre 1

2

September 3

4

Setiembre 5

6

Settembre 7

[77]

MEMORANDA

[78]

## Self-Sufficiency.

Self-Sufficiency.

There was a young damsel named Nell,
Who considered herself quite a belle.
She sat on the sand,
And held her own hand,
And never got on to the swell.

September

Septembre 8

9

September 10

11

Setiembre 12

13

Settembre 14

Self-Sufficiency.

There was a young damsel named Nell,
Who considered herself quite a belle.
She sat on the sand,
And held her own hand,
And never got on to the swell.

September

Septembre 8

9

September 10

11

Setiembre 12

13

Settembre 14

[79]

MEMORANDA

[80]

## The Young Nimrod.

Sept.

The Young Nimrod.

Young Henry went out for to shoot,
With a gun and a high rubber boot;
He shot an old goat,
A guide and a shoat—
But he’s best when he’s shooting the chute.

September

Septembre 15

16

September 17

18

Setiembre 19

20

Settembre 21

Σεπτέμβριος 22

Sept.

The Young Nimrod.

Young Henry went out for to shoot,
With a gun and a high rubber boot;
He shot an old goat,
A guide and a shoat—
But he’s best when he’s shooting the chute.

September

Septembre 15

16

September 17

18

Setiembre 19

20

Settembre 21

Σεπτέμβριος 22

[81]

MEMORANDA

[82]

## Foresight.

Foresight.

There was an old man of Tarrentum,
Who sat on his false teeth and bent ’um
When asked what he’d lost,
And what they had cost,
He replied, “I don’t know, I just rent ’um.”

September

Septembre 23

24

September 25

26

Setiembre 27

28

Settembre 29

Σεπτέμβριος 30

Foresight.

There was an old man of Tarrentum,
Who sat on his false teeth and bent ’um
When asked what he’d lost,
And what they had cost,
He replied, “I don’t know, I just rent ’um.”

September

Septembre 23

24

September 25

26

Setiembre 27

28

Settembre 29

Σεπτέμβριος 30

[83]

MEMORANDA

[84]

## Society.

Oct.

Society.

There was a fair charmer named Jones,
And the lions from various zones
At her house came and roared
In a beautiful chord,
As she fed them elaborate bones.

October

Octobre 1

2

Oktober 3

4

Octubre 5

6

Ottobre 7

Oct.

Society.

There was a fair charmer named Jones,
And the lions from various zones
At her house came and roared
In a beautiful chord,
As she fed them elaborate bones.

October

Octobre 1

2

Oktober 3

4

Octubre 5

6

Ottobre 7

[85]

MEMORANDA

[86]

## At a Cursory Glance.

At a Cursory Glance.

A curate once smote at a tee,
And threw his new club up a tree,
Saying, “Fie!! My!! Oh, dear!!!
I must give up, I fear,
Either golf or the ministree!”

October

Octobre 8

9

Oktober 10

11

Octubre 12

13

Ottobre 14

Ὀυτώμβριος 15

At a Cursory Glance.

A curate once smote at a tee,
And threw his new club up a tree,
Saying, “Fie!! My!! Oh, dear!!!
I must give up, I fear,
Either golf or the ministree!”

October

Octobre 8

9

Oktober 10

11

Octubre 12

13

Ottobre 14

Ὀυτώμβριος 15

[87]

MEMORANDA

[88]

## High Ideals.

Oct.

High Ideals.

There was a young man who said, “Oh,
Why, lucre’s so filthy and low!”
But his friends said, “Oh, shoo!
That’s too good to be true—
You can bet that he’s after the dough!”

October

Octobre 16

17

Oktober 18

19

Octubre 20

21

Ottobre 22

Ὀυτώμβριος 23

Oct.

High Ideals.

There was a young man who said, “Oh,
Why, lucre’s so filthy and low!”
But his friends said, “Oh, shoo!
That’s too good to be true—
You can bet that he’s after the dough!”

October

Octobre 16

17

Oktober 18

19

Octubre 20

21

Ottobre 22

Ὀυτώμβριος 23

[89]

MEMORANDA

[90]

## Compensation.

Compensation.

There was a fair girl named Elaine,
Who, one March day, went out dressed en train;
The wind tried to be rude,
But her costume was glued—
’Tis better sometimes to be vain.

October

Octobre 24

25

Oktober 26

27

Octubre 28

29

Ottobre 30

Ὀυτώμβριος 31

Compensation.

There was a fair girl named Elaine,
Who, one March day, went out dressed en train;
The wind tried to be rude,
But her costume was glued—
’Tis better sometimes to be vain.

October

Octobre 24

25

Oktober 26

27

Octubre 28

29

Ottobre 30

Ὀυτώμβριος 31

[91]

MEMORANDA

[92]

## The Lovers.

Nov.

The Lovers.

A lover in China, named Kin,
Sang soft serenades with great din;
With his eye to a crack
In the wall at the back—
And they said, “’Tis the lute of Peek-in!”

November

Novembre 1

2

November 3

4

Noviembre 5

6

Novembre 7

Nov.

The Lovers.

A lover in China, named Kin,
Sang soft serenades with great din;
With his eye to a crack
In the wall at the back—
And they said, “’Tis the lute of Peek-in!”

November

Novembre 1

2

November 3

4

Noviembre 5

6

Novembre 7

[93]

MEMORANDA

[94]

## Don’t Be a Rounder.

Don’t Be a Rounder.

There was a fair maid named O’Neil,
Who went up in the great Ferris Wheel;
On the thirty-fourth round
She looked down at the ground—
And it cost her an 80-cent meal.

November

Novembre 8

9

November 10

11

Noviembre 12

13

Novembre 14

Don’t Be a Rounder.

There was a fair maid named O’Neil,
Who went up in the great Ferris Wheel;
On the thirty-fourth round
She looked down at the ground—
And it cost her an 80-cent meal.

November

Novembre 8

9

November 10

11

Noviembre 12

13

Novembre 14

[95]

MEMORANDA

[96]

## Hospitality.

Nov.

Hospitality.

A tenderfoot out in the West
Said, “Afternoon tea’s such a rest!”
So they knocked off his hat
As they punched his nose flat,
And shot all the checks off his vest.

November

Novembre 15

16

November 17

18

Noviembre 19

20

Novembre 21

Νοέμβριος 22

Nov.

Hospitality.

A tenderfoot out in the West
Said, “Afternoon tea’s such a rest!”
So they knocked off his hat
As they punched his nose flat,
And shot all the checks off his vest.

November

Novembre 15

16

November 17

18

Noviembre 19

20

Novembre 21

Νοέμβριος 22

[97]

MEMORANDA

[98]

## Perseverance.

Perseverance.

There was an old person named Tate
Who out fishing went early and late.
When the fish gave a tug,
Then he pulled on the jug,
And the thing that he caught was a skate.

November

Novembre 23

24

November 25

26

Noviembre 27

28

Novembre 29

Νοέμβριος 30

Perseverance.

There was an old person named Tate
Who out fishing went early and late.
When the fish gave a tug,
Then he pulled on the jug,
And the thing that he caught was a skate.

November

Novembre 23

24

November 25

26

Noviembre 27

28

Novembre 29

Νοέμβριος 30

[99]

MEMORANDA

[100]

## Modesty.

Dec.

Modesty.

There once was a sensitive bride,
Who ran when the groom she espied.
When they put on her veil
She set up a wail,
And when the priest blessed her, she cried.

December

Décembre 1

2

Dezember 3

4

Diciembre 5

6

Dicembre 7

Dec.

Modesty.

There once was a sensitive bride,
Who ran when the groom she espied.
When they put on her veil
She set up a wail,
And when the priest blessed her, she cried.

December

Décembre 1

2

Dezember 3

4

Diciembre 5

6

Dicembre 7

[101]

MEMORANDA

[102]

## Know Your True Worth.

Know Your True Worth.

Said a Rooster, “I’d have you all know
I am nearly the whole of the show;
Why, the Sun every morn
Gets up with the dawn
For the purpose of hearing me crow!”

December

Décembre 8

9

Dezember 10

11

Diciembre 12

13

Dicembre 14

Know Your True Worth.

Said a Rooster, “I’d have you all know
I am nearly the whole of the show;
Why, the Sun every morn
Gets up with the dawn
For the purpose of hearing me crow!”

December

Décembre 8

9

Dezember 10

11

Diciembre 12

13

Dicembre 14

[103]

MEMORANDA

[104]

## A Good Reason.

Dec.

A Good Reason.

There was a young man of Fort Blainey,
Who proposed to a typist named Janey;
When his friends cried, “Oh, dear!
She’s so old and so queer!”
He replied, “But the day was so rainy!”

December

Décembre 15

16

Dezember 17

18

Diciembre 19

20

Dicembre 21

Dec.

A Good Reason.

There was a young man of Fort Blainey,
Who proposed to a typist named Janey;
When his friends cried, “Oh, dear!
She’s so old and so queer!”
He replied, “But the day was so rainy!”

December

Décembre 15

16

Dezember 17

18

Diciembre 19

20

Dicembre 21

[105]

MEMORANDA

[106]

## Recklessness.

Recklessness.

Sir Guy was an amorous knight,
Who costumed himself in a tight.
It was taking a chance
To go without pants,
In case the mosquitoes should bite.

December

Décembre 22

23

Dezember 24

25

Diciembre 26

27

Dicembre 28

Recklessness.

Sir Guy was an amorous knight,
Who costumed himself in a tight.
It was taking a chance
To go without pants,
In case the mosquitoes should bite.

December

Décembre 22

23

Dezember 24

25

Diciembre 26

27

Dicembre 28

[107]

MEMORANDA

[108]

## Thrift.

Dec.

Thrift.

There was a good dame of Cape Horn,
Whose clothing was tattered and torn.
She remarked, debonnaire,
As she pinned up her hair:
“Three bargains I purchased this morn.”

December

Décembre 29

30

Dezember 31

Dec.

Thrift.

There was a good dame of Cape Horn,
Whose clothing was tattered and torn.
She remarked, debonnaire,
As she pinned up her hair:
“Three bargains I purchased this morn.”

December

Décembre 29

30

Dezember 31

[109][110]

## Transcriber’s Note

Depending on the hard- and software used to read this text and their settings, not all elements may display as intended. The Memoranda pages are intentionally left blank as they were in the source document.

The spelling in this e-text is that of the original work. A few obvious minor typographical errors have been corrected silently.

*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LIMERICK UP TO DATE BOOK ***
Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed.
Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark license, especially commercial redistribution.
START: FULL LICENSE

## THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG™ LICENSE

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project Gutenberg License available with this file or online at www.gutenberg.org/license.
Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg electronic works
1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property (trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg electronic works in your possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project Gutenberg electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg electronic works even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project Gutenberg electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.
1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project Gutenberg electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the United States and you are located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project Gutenberg mission of promoting free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg name associated with the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg License when you share it without charge with others.
1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project Gutenberg work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any country other than the United States.
1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg License must appear prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg work (any work on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, copied or distributed:

> This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg™ License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg electronic work is derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg electronic work is posted with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked to the Project Gutenberg License for all works posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg.
1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project Gutenberg License.
1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg work in a format other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version posted on the official Project Gutenberg website (www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg works unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing access to or distributing Project Gutenberg electronic works provided that:

- • You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from the use of Project Gutenberg works calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg trademark, but he has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.”
- • You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™ License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™ works.
- • You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of receipt of the work.
- • You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works.

1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
1.F.
1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.
1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.
1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further opportunities to fix the problem.
1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg
Project Gutenberg is synonymous with the free distribution of electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from people in all walks of life.
Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg’s goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg collection will remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure and permanent future for Project Gutenberg and future generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org.
Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.
The Foundation’s business office is located at 41 Watchung Plaza #516, Montclair NJ 07042, USA, +1 (862) 621-9288. Email contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact
Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread public support and donations to carry out its mission of increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations ($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt status with the IRS.
The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate.
While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to donate.
International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate.
Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg electronic works
Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
Most people start at our website which has the main PG search facility: www.gutenberg.org.
This website includes information about Project Gutenberg, including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.