Title: The Girl Wanted: A Book of Friendly Thoughts
Author: Nixon Waterman
Release date: September 21, 2008 [eBook #26683]
Most recently updated: January 4, 2021
Language: English
Credits: Produced by Roger Frank and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
THE GIRL WANTED |
A BOOK OF FRIENDLY THOUGHTS |
BY |
NIXON WATERMAN |
AUTHOR OF "BOY WANTED," "A BOOK OF VERSES," "IN MERRY MOOD," ETC. |
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CHICAGO FORBES AND COMPANY 1919 |
Copyright, 1910, By
Forbes and Company
TO |
—The girl wanted, who, By her beautiful ways, Shall brighten and gladden Life’s wonderful days. |
PREFACE
The pleasure of giving to the public this volume has been brought about by the publication of the author’s work entitled, "Boy Wanted," which he presented as "a book of cheerful counsel to his young friends and such of the seniors as are not too old to accept a bit of friendly admonition."
The warm welcome accorded that book, and the many requests it has called forth for a similar companion volume for girls, has prompted the author to prepare the series of papers offered herewith, with the hope that they, too, may find as many youthful friends (between the ages of seven and seventy) awaiting them.
In the present volume, as in "Boy Wanted," the fine prose thoughts are selected from the writings of a very large number of the world’s foremost teachers and philosophers of all times, while the author, with a due sense of modesty, lays claim to all such examples of versification as are to be found within this book.
In these days when the women of the world, with such splendid success, are writing books for the moral guidance and spiritual uplift of the men and youth of every land, an author need not feel called upon to apologize when he presumes to address his remarks to readers of the opposite sex, as did John Ruskin, to such fine purpose, in the "Pearls for Young Ladies."
Since his own mother, wife, sisters, daughters and many of his best friends belong to the feminine half of humanity, any man who is a careful observer, a logical reasoner, and an adequate writer ought to be able to say something of worth and interest to the women and girls to whom he is permitted to address himself. If in this volume the author is able to impart to others, in a small degree, the beneficent influence he has received through the splendid precepts and noble examples of the women to whom he owes so much, he will deem himself grandly rewarded for the labor of love herein set forth.
Nor is the author unconscious of the great purpose that should underlie the writing of a series of papers designed to direct the daughters of our land toward the greatest factor in the making and the perpetuity of a nation—a noble and beautiful womanhood. For observation has taught the world that—
We’re almost sure to find good men,
When, all in all, we choose to take them,
Are, nearly nine times out of ten,
What mothers, wives and sisters make them.
N. W.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER | PAGE | |
I | CHOOSING THE WAY | 13 |
Starting right. The strength of early impressions. "Environment." The will and the way. Planning the future. "Mother’s Apron Strings." | ||
II | ACCOMPLISHMENTS | 27 |
The ability to do things. Elegant and useful accomplishments. The value of thoroughness. "What Have We Done To-day?" The service of the heart. "Sympathy." "Only A Word." | ||
III | THE JOY OF DOING | 45 |
The power of enthusiasm. Working with heart and hand. Looking on the bright side. "Just This Minute." Happiness and its relation to health. Paths of sunshine. "The Sculptor." | ||
IV | SOME EVERY-DAY VIRTUES | 65 |
The desire to do right. The importance of every-day incidents. True culture. "A Rose to the Living." Patience as a virtue. "This Busy World." | ||
V | THE VALUE OF SUNSHINE | 85 |
"Likableness" as a desirable quality. The present the best of all times. The sunshiny girl. "The Prize Winner." The necessity of being prepared. "The Conqueror." | ||
VI | A MERRY HEART | 105 |
Smoothing the way with a smile. The unselfishness of happiness. "The Point of View." The joy of living for others. "The Better Armor." Cultivating happiness. "Song or Sigh." | ||
VII | GOLDEN HABITS | 125 |
Good habits and bad. The strength of habit. "True Gentility." Manners and personality. "What Are You Going to Do?" The worth of good breeding. "Drudgery." | ||
VIII | THE PURPOSE OF LIFE | 145 |
The inspiration of success. Building day by day. "Morning Gates." The value of a purpose. Women’s growing sphere. "Man, Poor Man." Opportunities and responsibilities. "Morning Prayer." |
ILLUSTRATIONS
Martha Washington | Frontispiece |
Queen Victoria | " 26 |
Harriet Beecher Stowe | " 44 |
Louisa M. Alcott | " 64 |
Julia Ward Howe | " 84 |
Elizabeth Barrett Browning | " 104 |
Florence Nightingale | " 124 |
George Eliot | " 144 |
THE GIRL WANTED
CHAPTER I
CHOOSING THE WAY
What can be expressed in words can be expressed in life.—Thoreau.Yes, my good girl, I am very glad that we are to have the opportunity to enjoy a friendly chat through the medium of the printed page, with its many tongues of type.
It is faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes a life worth looking at.—Oliver Wendell Holmes. Just here I have a favor to ask of you, and that is that you will consent to let us talk chiefly about yourself and the manner in which you are going to live all the golden to-morrows that are awaiting you.
The habit of viewing things cheerfully, and of thinking about life hopefully, may be made to grow up in us like any other habit.—Smiles. In a discussion of the topics which are to follow, it will be well for you to understand that there has never been a period in the world’s history when a girl was of more importance than she is just now. Indeed, many close observers and clear thinkers are of the opinion that there 14 never has been a time when a girl was of A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any state of the market.—Charles Lamb. quite so much importance as she is to-day.
Some of our most able writers tell us that we are just on the threshold of "the women’s century," and that the great advance the world is to witness in the forthcoming years is to be largely inspired by, and redound to the glory of, the women of the earth.
The old days never come again, because they would be getting in the way of the new, better days whose turn it is.—George MacDonald. Come what will, the future is sufficiently alluring to cause you to cherish it most fondly and to determine that you will make the years that are before you as bright and beautiful and as "worth while" as it is possible for you to do.
It is a glorious privilege to dwell in the very forefront of time, in the grandest epoch of the world’s history and to feel that we are permitted to be observers of, and if it may so be, active participants in, the fascinating events that are occurring all about us.
The man who has learned to take things as they come, and to let go as they depart, has mastered one of the arts of cheerful and contented living.—Anonymous. Yet with all the grand achievements that are being encompassed in every field of human endeavor, the world to-day, needs most, that which the world has ever most needed—words helpful and true, hearts kind and tender, hands 15 willing and ready to lift the less fortunate over the rough places in the paths of life, goodness and grace, gentle women and gentlemen.
Cheerfulness is the very flower of health.—Schopenhauer. And so here we find ourselves, just at this particular spot and at this very moment, with all of the days, months, years—yes, the whole of eternity—still to be lived!
There are people who do not know how to waste their time alone, and hence become the scourge of busy people.—De Bonald. At first thought it seems like a great problem, does this having to decide how we are going to live out all the great future that is before us. Yet, when we come to think it over, we see that it is not so difficult after all; for, fortunate mortals that we are, we shall never have to live it but one moment at a time. And, better still, that one moment is always to be the one that is right here and just now where we can see it and study it and shape it and do with it as we will.
Just this minute!
Not what has happened to myself to-day, but what has happened to others through me—that should be my thought. —Frederick Deering Blake. Surely it will not require a great deal of effort on the part of any one of us to live the next sixty seconds as they should be lived. And having lived one moment properly, it ought to be still easier for us to live the next one as well, and then the next, and the next until, 16 finally, we continue to live them rightly, just as a matter of habit.
Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which never come.—Lowell. When we come to understand clearly that time is the thing of which lives are made, and that time is divided into a certain number of units, we can then pretty closely figure out, by simple processes in arithmetic, how much life is going to be worth to us.
What we are doing this minute, multiplied by sixty, tells us what we are likely to accomplish in an hour.
The highest luxury of which the human mind is sensible is to call smiles upon the face of misery.—Anonymous. What we do in an hour, multiplied by the number of working hours in every twenty-four, tells us what we may expect to achieve in a day.
What we do in a day, multiplied by three hundred and sixty-five, shows us what it is probable we shall accomplish in a year.
He who is plenteously provided for from within, needs but little from without.—Goethe. What we do in a year, when multiplied by the number of years of youth and health and strength, we have reason to believe are yet before us, sets forth the result we may hope to secure in a lifetime. For it is not hard for us to comprehend that. Each day should be distinguished by at least one particular act of love.—Lavater. 17
If, ever, while this minute’s
here,
We use it circumspectly,
We’ll live this hour, this day, this year,
Yes, all our lives, correctly.
As the work of the builder is preceded by the plans of the architect, so the deeds we do in life are preceded by the thoughts we think. The thought is the plan; the deed is the structure.
Every person is responsible for all the good within the scope of his abilities, and for no more; and none can tell whose sphere is the largest.—Gail Hamilton. "As the twig is bent the tree is inclined." Wordsworth tells us: "The child is father of the man." Which means, also, that the child is mother of the woman. That which we dream to-day we may do to-morrow. The toys of childhood become the tools of our maturer years.
So it follows that an important part of the work and occupation of one’s early years should be to learn to have right thoughts, which, later on in life, are to become right actions.
Work is the very salt of life, not only preserving it from decay, but also giving it tone and flavor.—Hugh Black. The pleasant, helpful girl is most likely to become the pleasant, helpful woman. The seed that is sown in the springtime of life determines the character of the harvest that must be reaped in the autumn. 18
Treat your friends for what you know them to be. Regard no surfaces. Consider not what they did, but what they intended.—Thoreau. The cultivation of the right point of view means so much in determining one’s attitude toward all that the years may bring. Three centuries ago it was written: "What is one man’s poison is another’s meat or drink." So there are many things in life that bring pleasure to some and distress to others.
Work! It is the sole law of the world.—Emile Zola. There is a beautiful little story about a shepherd boy who was keeping his sheep in a flowery meadow, and because his heart was happy, he sang so loudly that the surrounding hills echoed back his song. One morning the king, who was out hunting, spoke to him and said: "Why are you so happy, my boy?"
"Why should I not be happy?" answered the boy. "Our king is not richer than I."
"Indeed," said the king, "pray tell me of your great possessions."
No lot is so hard, no aspect of things is so grim, but it relaxes before a hearty laugh.— George S. Merriam. The shepherd boy answered: "The sun in the bright blue sky shines as brightly upon me as upon the king. The flowers upon the mountain and the grass in the valley grow and bloom to gladden my sight as well as his. I would not take a fortune for my hands; my eyes are of more value than all the precious stones 19 in the world. I have food and clothing, too. Am I not, therefore, as rich as the king?"
Concentration is the secret of strength.—Emerson. "You are right," said the king, with a smile, "but your greatest treasure is your contented heart. Keep it so, and you will always be happy."
Anybody can do things with an "if"—the thing is to do them without.—Patrick Flynn. So much of life’s happiness depends upon one’s immediate surroundings that wherever it is a matter of choice they should be made to conform as nearly as possible to the thoughts and tastes one wishes to cultivate. As a matter of course but few persons can have just the surroundings they would like, but it An aim in life is the only fortune worth the finding; and it is not to be found in foreign lands, but in the heart itself.—R. L. Stevenson. is possible that by pleasant thinking all of us can make the surroundings we have more likable. We can, at least, be thoughtful of the character of the friends and companions we choose to have with us, and it is they who are the most vital and influential part of our
ENVIRONMENT
It is better
to be worn out with work in a thronged community than to perish of inaction in
a stagnant solitude.—Mrs.
Gaskell. Shine or shadow, flame or frost,
Zephyr-kissed or tempest-tossed,
Night or day, or dusk or dawn,
We are strangely lived upon.
Mystic builders in the
brain—
Mirth and sorrow, joy and pain,
Grief and gladness, gloom and light—
Build, oh, build my heart aright!
O ye friends, with pleasant
smiles,
Help me build my precious whiles;
Bring me blocks of gold to make
Strength that wrong shall never shake.
Day by day I gather from
All you give me. I become
Yet a part of all I meet
In the fields and in the street.
The advantage
of leisure is mainly that we have the power of choosing our own work; not
certainly that it confers any privilege of idleness.—Lord Avebury. Bring me songs of hope
and youth,
Bring me bands of steel and truth,
Bring me love wherein to find
Charity for all mankind.
Place within my hands the
tools
And the Master Builder’s rules,
That the walls we fashion may
Stand forever and a day.
Help me build a palace where
All is wonderfully fair—
Built of truth, the while, above,
Shines the pinnacle of love.
Suffering becomes beautiful, when any one bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility, but through greatness of mind.—Aristotle. If we are to receive help and strength from our friends we must lend them help and strength in return. And since the deeds of others inspire us we should 21 not deem it impossible to make our deeds inspire them.
Helen Keller, who, though deaf and Character is a perfectly educated will.—Novalis. blind, has achieved so many wonderful and beautiful victories over the barriers that have beset her, says: "My share in the work of the world may be limited, but the fact that it is work makes it precious.... Darwin could work only half an hour at a time; yet in many diligent half-hours he laid anew the foundations of philosophy.... Green, the historian, tells us that the world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker."
One of the most massive and enduring gratifications is the feeling of personal worth, ever afresh, brought into consciousness by effectual action; and an idle life is balked of its hopes partly because it lacks this.—Herbert Spencer. In the same spirit the great French savant, Emile Zola, penned these words: "Let each one accept his task, a task which should fill his life. It may be very humble; it will not be the less useful. Never mind what it is, so long as it exists and keeps you erect! When you have regulated it, without excess—just the quantity you are able to accomplish each day—it will cause you to live in health and in joy."
Truth is always consistent with itself, and needs nothing to help it out.—Tillotson. Some wise observer has said that one of the chief aims of life should be to learn how to grow old gracefully. This knowledge is deemed by many to be a great secret and a most valuable one. Yet it can hardly be called a secret since every girl and boy as well as every person He that is choice of his time will be choice of his company and choice of his actions.—Jeremy Taylor. of maturer years must know that it is but the working out of the laws of cause and effect. When character-building is begun on the right lines and those lines are followed to the end the result is as certain as it is beautiful. When we see a grandmother whose life has been lived on the happy plane of pure thoughts and kind deeds we ought not to wonder that her old age is as exquisite as was the perfect bloom of her youth. We need not marvel how it has come about that her life has been a long and happy one. Here is the "secret:"
She knew how to forget disagreeable things.
She kept her nerves well in hand and inflicted them on no one.
She mastered the art of saying pleasant things.
Our character is our will; for what we will we are.—Archbishop Manning. She did not expect too much from her friends.
She made whatever work came to her congenial. 23
She retained her faith in others and did not believe all the world wicked and unkind.
He overcomes a stout enemy that overcomes his own anger.—Chilo. She relieved the miserable and sympathized with the sorrowful.
She never forgot that kind words and a smile cost nothing, but are priceless treasures to the discouraged.
Good company and good conversation are the sinews of virtue.—Stephen Allen. She did unto others as she would be done by, and now that old age has come to her, and there is a halo of white hair about her brow, she is loved and considered. This is the "secret" of a long life and a happy one.
If you have great talents, industry will improve them; if you have but moderate abilities, industry will supply their deficiency. Nothing is denied to well directed labor; nothing is to be obtained without it.—Joshua Reynolds. Fortunate is the girl who is permitted to dwell within the living presence of such a matron and to be directed by her into the paths of usefulness and sunshine. And thrice fortunate is every girl who has for her guide and counselor a loving mother to whom she can go for light and wisdom with which to meet all the problems of life.
"Mother knows." Her earnest, loving words are to be cherished above all others as many men and many women have learned after the long miles and If you are doing any real good you cannot escape the reward of your service.—Patrick Flynn. the busy years have crept between them and "the old folks at home." Do not, 24 O Girl! I pray you, ever grow impatient, as boys sometimes do, to be set beyond the protecting care of
MOTHER’S APRON-STRINGS
Simplicity
and plainness are the soul of elegance.—Dickens. When I was but a careless
youth,
I thought the truly great
Were those who had attained, in truth,
To man’s mature estate.
And none my soul so sadly tried
Or spoke such bitter things
As he who said that I was tied
To mother’s apron-strings.
I loved my mother, yet it
seemed
That I must break away
And find the broader world I dreamed
Beyond her presence lay.
But I have sighed and I have cried
O’er all the cruel stings
I would have missed had I been tied
To mother’s apron-strings.
Happiness is
one of the virtues which the people of all nationalities and every pursuit
appreciate.—Joe Mitchell
Chapple. O happy, trustful girls and boys!
The mother’s way is best.
She leads you ’mid the fairest joys,
Through paths of peace and rest.
If you would have the safest guide,
And drink from sweetest springs,
Oh, keep your hearts forever tied
To mother’s apron-strings.
CHAPTER II
ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Only to the pure and the true does Nature resign herself and reveal her secrets.—Goethe. I am sure that every girl wishes to become accomplished, and I am quite as certain that every girl can become so if she will.
My dictionary defines an accomplishment as an "acquirement or attainment that tends to perfect or equip in character, manners, or person."
Every man carries with him the world in which he must live, the stage and the scenery for his own play.— F. Marion Crawford. Surely every girl can do something, or has acquired some special line of knowledge, that is covered by this broad definition.
It means that every girl who can sweep a room; read French or German The best is yet unwritten, for we grow from more to more.—Sam Walter Foss. or English as it should be read; bake a loaf of bread; play tennis; darn a stocking; play the violin or pianoforte; give the names of flowers and birds and butterflies; write a neat, well-composed letter, either in longhand or shorthand; draw or paint pictures; make a bed or 28Notwithstanding a faculty be born with us, there are several methods for cultivating and improving it.—Addison. do one or more of a thousand and one other things is accomplished. The more things she can do and the greater the number of subjects on which she is informed, the more highly is she accomplished.
It is understood, as a matter of course, that thoroughness in one’s accomplishments is the true measure of his worth. One who knows a few subjects very well is no doubt more accomplished than one who has only a superficial "smatter" of knowledge concerning many.
Every truth in the universe makes a close joint with every other truth.—Melvin L. Severy. We can all readily understand how much more pleasing it is to hear a true virtuoso play the violin or pianoforte than it is to listen to a beginner who can perform indifferently on a number of instruments.
"A little diamond is worth a mountain of glass."
Quality is the thing that counts.
All flimsy, shallow, and superficial work is a lie, of which a man ought to be ashamed.—John Stuart Blackie. The desire and disposition to do a thing well, coupled with a firm determination, are pretty sure to bring the ability necessary for achieving the wished-for end. The will is lacking more often than is the way.
When we cease to learn, we cease to be interesting.—John Lancaster Spalding. It is a matter of frequent comment that we usually expect too much of the average young and attractive girl in the way of accomplishments. Because she is pleasing in her general appearance we are apt to feel a sense of disappointment if we find that her qualities of mind do not equal her outward charms.
The workless people are the worthless people.—Wm. C. Gannett. Charles Lamb says: "I know that sweet children are the sweetest things in nature," and adds, "but the prettier the kind of a thing is, the more desirable it is that it should be pretty of its kind." And so it is with girls who are bright and blithe and beautiful; the world would give them every charming quality of mind and heart to match the grace of face and figure.
Hence we find that the girl who is most fondly wanted, by the members of her own family, by her schoolmates, and by all with whom she shall form an acquaintance, is the one who is as pleasing in her manners as she is beautiful in her physical features.
Our ideals are our better selves.—Bronson Alcott. Of all the accomplishments it is possible for a girl to possess, that of being pleasant and gracious to those about her is the greatest and most desirable. "There is no beautifier of the complexion, 30
All literature, art, and science are vain, and worse, if they do not enable you to be glad, and glad, justly.—Ruskin. or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us," says Emerson.
It is possible for persons to acquire a great deal of information and to become skillful in many things and still be unloved by those with whom they are associated.
All things else are of the earth, but love is of the sky.—William Stanley Braithwaite. The heart needs to be educated even more than the mind, for it is the heart that dominates and colors and gives character and meaning to the whole of life. Even the kindest of words have little meaning unless there is a kind heart to make them stand for something that will live.
To fill the hour, that is happiness.—Emerson. "You will find as you look back upon your life," says Drummond, "that the moments that stand out, the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of love. As memory scans the past, above and beyond all the transitory Ah, well that in a wintry hour the heart can sing a summer song.—Edward Francis Burns. pleasures of life, there leap forward those supreme hours when you have been enabled to do unnoticed kindnesses to those round about you, things too trifling to speak about, but which you feel have entered into your eternal 31 Avast there! Keep a bright lookout forward and good luck to you.—Dickens. life ... Everything else in our lives is transitory. Every other good is visionary. But the acts of love which no man knows about, or can ever know about—they never fail."
It is the ability to do the many little acts of kindness, and to make the most of all the opportunities for gladding the lives of others, that constitute the finest accomplishment any girl can acquire.
It often happens that the thought of the great kindnesses we should like to do, and which we mean to do, "sometime" in the days to come, keeps us from seeing the many little favors we could, if we would, grant to those just about us at the present time. Yet we all know that it is not the things we are going to do that really count. It is the thing that we do do that is worth while.
No doubt we should all be much more thoughtful of our many present opportunities and make better use of them were we frequently to ask ourselves,
WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO-DAY?
Genius is the
transcendent capacity for taking trouble first of all.—Carlyle. We shall do so much in the
years to come,
But what have we done to-day?
We shall give our gold in a princely sum,
But what did we give to-day?
We shall lift the heart and dry the tear,
For dreams, to those of steadfast hope and will, are
things wherewith they build their world of fact.—Alicia K. Van Buren. We shall plant a
hope in the place of fear,
We shall speak the words of love and cheer;
But what did we speak to-day?
We shall be so kind in the after
while,
But what have we been to-day?
Love is the leaven of existence.—Melvin L. Severy. We shall bring each
lonely life a smile,
But what have we brought to-day?
We shall give to truth a grander birth,
And to steadfast faith a deeper worth,
We shall feed the hungering souls of earth;
But whom have we fed to-day?
No man can
rest who has nothing to do.—Sam
Walter Foss. We shall reap such joys in the by and by,
But what have we sown to-day?
We shall build us mansions in the sky,
But what have we built to-day?
’T is sweet in idle dreams to bask,
But here and now do we do our task?
Yes, this is the thing our souls must ask,
"What have we done to-day?"
Among the every-day accomplishments which everyone should wish to possess is a knowledge of the fine art of smiling. To know how and when to smile, not too much and not too little, is a fine mental and social possession.
Work is no disgrace but idleness is.—Hesiod. Hawthorne says: "If I value myself on anything it is on having a smile that children love." Any one possessing a smile that children as well as others may love is to be congratulated. A pleasant, smiling face is of great worth to its possessor and to the world that is privileged to look upon it.
Shoddy work is not only a wrong to a man’s own personal integrity, hurting his character; but also it is a wrong to society. Truthfulness in work is as much demanded as truthfulness in speech.— Hugh Black. A smile is an indication that the one who is smiling is happy and every happy person helps to make every one else happy. Yet we all understand that happiness does not mean smiling all the time. There is truly nothing more distressing than a giggler or one who is forever grimacing. "True happiness," says one of our most cheerful writers, "means the joyous sparkle in the eye and the The flowering of civilization is in the finished man, the man of sense, of grace, of accomplishment, of social power—the gentleman.—Ralph Waldo Emerson. little, smiling lines in the face that are so quickly and easily distinguished from the lines produced by depression and frowning that grow deeper and deeper until they become as hard and severe as if they were cut in stone." Such happiness is one of the virtues which people of all classes and ages, the world over, admire and enjoy. "We do not know what ripples of healing are set in motion," It is all very well to growl at the cold-heartedness of the world, but which of us can truthfully say that he has done as much for others as others have done for him?—Patrick Flynn. says Henry Drummond, "when we simply smile on one another. Christianity 34 wants nothing so much in the world as sunny people."
Most persons are very quick to see whether or not a smile is genuine or is manufactured and put on like a mask for the occasion. The automatic, stock-in-trade smile hardly ever fits the face that tries to wear it. It is a little too wide or sags at the corners or something else is wrong A man is relieved and gay when he has put his heart into his work, and done his best; but what he has said or done otherwise, shall give him no peace.—Emerson. with it.
A smile may be as deep as a well and as wide as a church door; it may be "sweeter than honey," but the instant we detect that it is not genuine, it loses its charm and becomes, in fact, much worse than no smile at all. Smiles that are genuine are always just right both in quality and quantity. So the only really safe rule is for us not to smile until we feel like it and then we shall get on all right. And we ought to feel like smiling Some people meet us like the mountain air and thrill our souls with freshness and delight.— Nathan Haskell Dole. whenever we look into the honest face of any fellow being. A smile passes current in every country as a mark of distinction.
But it is even possible to overdo in the matter of smiling. "I can’t think of anything more irritating to the average human being," says Lydia Horton 35 Knowles, "than an incessant, everlasting smile. There are people who have it. When things go wrong they have a patient, martyr-like smile, and when things go right they have a dutifully pleasant smile which has all the appearance of being I let the willing winter bring his jeweled buds of frost and snow.—Edward Francis Burns. mechanical, and purely a pose. Now I think the really intelligent person is the one who can look as though he realized the significance of various incidents or happenings and who can look sorrowful, even, if the occasion demands it. It is not a pleasant thing The world is unfinished; let’s mold it a bit.—Sam Walter Foss. to suffer mentally or physically, for instance, and have any one come up to you with a smile of patient, sweet condolence. The average man or woman does not want smiles when he or she is uncomfortable. We are apt to remember that it is easy enough to smile when it is somebody else who has the pain. I venture to say that a smile given at the wrong moment is far more Our wishes are presentiments of the capabilities which lie within us and harbingers of that which we shall be in a condition to perform.—Goethe. dangerous to human happiness than the lack of a smile at any given psychological moment. There is a time and a place for all things, even a smile."
No expression of feeling is of much moment without a warm heart and an 36 Do not let us overlook the wayside flowers.—Joe Mitchell Chapple. intelligent thought behind it. The seemingly mechanical, automatic expressions of feeling and of interest in our affairs are sometimes even harder to bear than an out and out attitude of indifference. The thing that really warms and moves us is a touch of heartfelt, intelligent
SYMPATHY
Quiet minds
cannot be perplexed or frightened, but go on in fortune or misfortune at their
own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm.—R. L. Stevenson. When the clouds begin
to lower,
That’s a splendid time to smile;
But your smile will lose its power
If you’re smiling all the while.
Now and then a sober season,
Now and then a jolly laugh:
We like best, and there’s a reason,
A good, wholesome half and half.
The wealth of
a man is the number of things which he loves and blesses, and by which he is
loved and blessed.— Carlyle. When the other one has
trouble,
We should feel that trouble, too,
For, were we with joy to bubble
’Mid his grief, ’t would hardly do.
Let us own that keen discerning
That can see and bear a part;
For the whole wide world is yearning
For a sympathetic heart.
Nothing is more restful and refreshing than a friendly glance or a kindly word offered to us in the midst of our daily rounds of duty. And since we are not 37The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes.—Jonathan Swift. often in a position to grant great favors we should not fail to cultivate the habit of bestowing small ones whenever we can. It is in giving the many little lifts along the way that we shall be able to lighten many burdens.
I do not know it to be a fact, but I have read it somewhere in the books that the human heart rests nine hours out of every twenty-four. It manages to steal little bits of rest between beats, and thus it is ever refreshed and able to go on performing the work nature has assigned for it to do.
Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.—Lord Chesterfield. And therein is a first-rate lesson for most persons, who if they cannot do something of considerable moment are disposed to do nothing at all. They forget Indulge not in vain regrets for the past, in vainer resolves for the future—act, act in the present.— F. W. Robertson. that it is the brief three-minute rests that enable the mountain-climber to press on till he reaches the top whereas longer periods of inactivity might serve to stiffen his limbs and impede his progress.
Wise are they who, like the human heart, sprinkle rest and kindness and heart’s-ease all through their daily tasks. They weave a bright thread of thankful happiness through the web 38The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in our power.—Hugh White. and woof of life’s pattern. They are never too busy to say a kind word or to do a gentle deed. They may be compelled to sigh betimes, but amid their sighs are smiles that drive away the cares. They find sunbeams scattered in the trail of every cloud. They gather flowers where others see nothing but weeds. They pluck little sprigs of rest where others find only thorns of distress.
The man who cannot be practical and mix his religion with his business is either in the wrong religion or in the wrong business.—Patrick Flynn. After the manner of the human heart, they make much of the little opportunities presented to them. They rest that they may have strength for others. They gather sunshine with which to dispel the shadows about them.
The I don’t think there is a pleasure in the world that can be compared with an honest joy in conquering a difficult task.—Margaret E. Sangster. grandest conception of life is to esteem it as an opportunity for making others happy. He who is most true to his higher self is truest to the race. The lamp that shines brightest gives the most light to all about it. Thoreau says: "To enjoy a thing exclusively is commonly to exclude yourself from the true enjoyment of life."
Every right action and true thought sets the seal of its beauty on every person’s face; every wrong action and foul thought its seal of distortion.—Ruskin. He is, indeed, a correct observer and a careful student of human nature who tells us that the face is such an index of character that the very growth of the 39latter can be traced upon the former, and most of the successive lines that carve the furrowed face of age out of the smooth outline of childhood are engraved directly or indirectly by mind. There is no beautifier of the face like a beautiful spirit.
Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.—J. M. Barrie. So we see that if we have acquired the habit of wearing a pleasant face, or of smiling honestly and cheerfully, we have an accomplishment that is worth more than many others that are more pretentious and more superficial. If to this accomplishment we can add another—the ability to speak a pleasant word to those whom we may meet—we are not to think poorly of our equipment for life.
There is a good, old-fashioned word in the dictionary, the study of which, with its definition, is well worth our while. Politeness is like an air cushion; there may be nothing in it, but it eases the jolts wonderfully.— George Eliot. The word is "Complaisance," and it is defined as "the disposition, action, or habit of being agreeable, or conforming to the views, wishes, or convenience of others; desire or endeavor to please; courtesy; politeness."
Complaisance, as it has been truly said, renders a superior amiable, an equal agreeable, an inferior acceptable. It 40Sloth makes all things difficult, but industry all things easy.—Benjamin Franklin. sweetens conversation; it produces good-nature and mutual benevolence; it encourages the timid, soothes the turbulent, humanizes the fierce, and distinguishes a society of civilized persons from a confusion of savages.
Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.—Disraeli. Politeness has been defined as society’s method of making things run smoothly. True complaisance is a more intimate quality. It is an impulse to seek points of agreement with others. A spirit of welcome, whether to strangers, or to new suggestions, untried pleasures, fresh impressions. It never is satisfied to remain inactive as long as there is anybody to please or to make more comfortable.
The complaisant person need not be lacking in will, in determination, or individuality. In fact it is the complaisant We would willingly have others perfect and yet we amend not our own faults.—Thomas à Kempis. person’s strength of will that holds in check and harmonizes all the other traits of character and moulds them into a perfectly balanced disposition.
Complaisance rounds off the sharp corners, chooses softer and gentler words and makes it easy and pleasant for all to dwell together in unity. And it never fails to contribute something to 41The most manifold sign of wisdom is continued cheer.—Montaigne. the enjoyment of everyone even though it be
ONLY A WORD
There is only
one cure for public distress—and that is public education, directed to
make men thoughtful, merciful, and just.—Ruskin. Tell me something that will
be
Joy through all the years to me.
Let my heart forever hold
One divinest grain of gold.
Just a simple little word,
Yet the dearest ever heard;
Something that will bring me rest
When the world seems all distressed.
To believe a
business impossible is the way to make it so.—Wade. As the candle in the night
Sends abroad its cheerful light,
So a little word may be
Like a lighthouse in the sea.
When the winds and waves of life
Fill the breast with storm and strife,
Just one star my boat may guide
To the harbor, glorified.
CHAPTER III
THE JOY OF DOING
What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.—Emerson. Half-way, half-hearted doings never amount to much. Battles are not won with flags at half-mast. No, they are run up to the very tops of their standards and are waved as far toward the heavens as is possible.
Gentle words, quiet words, are, after all, the most powerful words.—Washington Gladden. If we lack enthusiasm we are almost as certain to fail of achieving an end as a locomotive engine that lacks steam is of climbing the grade. Even a listless, lackadaisical spirit may get on all right so long as the path of life is all on a level or is down grade, but when it comes to hill-climbing and the real experiences of life that serve to develop character, it is likely to give up the contest and surrender the prize it might win to other and more earnest competitors.
Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something.—Thoreau. "If you would get the best results, do your work with enthusiasm as well as fidelity," says Dr. Lyman Abbott. "Only he can who thinks he can!" says Orison 46Swett Marden. "The world makes way only for the determined man who laughs at barriers which limit others, at stumbling-blocks over which others fall. The Nothing will be mended by complaints.—Johnson. man who, as Emerson says, ’hitches his wagon to a star,’ is more likely to arrive at his goal than the one who trails in the slimy path of the snail."
Peace! Peace! How sweet the word and tender! Its very sound should wrangling discord still.—Nathan Haskell Dole. Every girl knows that the girl friends whom she loves best are the ones who are alive to the world about them and who feel an enthusiasm in the tasks and privileges that confront them.
Enthusiasm is the breeze that fills the sails and sends the ship gliding over the happy waves. It is the joy of doing things and of seeing that things are well done. It gives to work a thoroughness and a delicious zest and to play a whole-souled, health-giving delight.
The Spartans did not inquire how many the enemy are, but where they are.—Agis II. Only they who find joy in their work can live the larger and nobler life; for without work, and work done joyously, life must remain dwarfed and undeveloped. "If you would have sunlight in your home," writes Stopford Brooke, "see that you have work in it; that you work yourself, and set others to work. Nothing makes moroseness and 47The man in whom others believe is a power, but if he believes in himself he is doubly powerful.—Willis George Emerson. heavy-heartedness in a house so fast as idleness. The very children gloom and sulk if they are left with nothing to do. If all have their work, they have not only their own joy in creating thought, in making thought into form, in driving on something to completion, but they have the joy of ministering to the movement of the whole house, when they feel that The secrecy of success is constancy to purpose.—Disraeli. what they do is part of a living whole. That in itself is sunshine. See how the face lights up, how the step is quickened, how the whole man or child is a different being from the weary, aimless, lifeless, complaining being who had no work! It is all the difference between life and death."
We Men talk about the indignity of doing work that is beneath them, but the only indignity that they should care for is the indignity of doing nothing.—W. R. Haweis. must play life’s sweet keys if we would keep them in tune. Charles Kingsley says: "Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do that day which must be done whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle will never know." 48
All Share your happiness with others, but keep your troubles to yourself.—Patrick Flynn. the introspective thinkers of the world have agreed that nothing else is so hard to do as is "nothing." It is unwholesome for one to have more leisure than a mere breathing spell now and then for the purpose of setting to work once more with renewed energy.
Neither days, nor lives can be made noble or holy by doing nothing in them.—Ruskin. They who work with their hearts as well as their hands do not grow tired. A labor of love is a labor of growing delight. "The moment toil is exchanged for leisure," writes Munger, "a gate is opened to vice. When wealth takes off Use thy youth as the springtime, wherein thou oughtest to plant and sow all provisions for a long and happy life.— Walter Raleigh. the necessity of labor and invites to idleness, nature executes her sharpest revenge upon such infraction of the present order; the idle rich live next door to ruin." And Burton puts the case even more strongly when he says: "He or she that is idle, be they of what condition they will, never so rich, so well allied, fortunate, happy—let them have all things in abundance and felicity that To have ideas is to gather flowers; to think is to weave them into garlands.—Madame Swetchine. heart can wish and desire,—all contentment—so long as he or she or they are idle, they shall never be pleased, never well in mind or body, but weary still, sickly still, vexed still, loathing still, weeping, sighing, grieving, suspecting, 49offended with the world, with every object, wishing themselves gone or dead, or else carried away with some foolish phantasy or other."
But When a firm decisive spirit is recognized, it is curious to see how the space clears around a man and leaves him room and freedom.—John Foster. riches do not necessarily have to be associated with idleness. Riches rightly employed bestow upon the possessors of them the blessed privilege of being employed in the kind of work where they can serve to the best advantage and do most for their fellowmen. Indeed, the possession of riches places upon those who have them the moral necessity and obligation of doing more and better things in the world than is expected of the ones less amply supplied with wealth. "From every man according to his ability; to every man according to his needs." The larger responsibilities are placed upon those to whom are given the larger means of achievement.
So That person is blest who does his best and leaves the rest, so do not worry.—A. E. Winship. it is a mistake to fancy that the possession of great riches would relieve us from doing all the tasks and duties for ourselves and for others that are inevitably essential for the physical and spiritual health and happiness of all mankind. No matter in whatever walk of 50 Work is the best thing to make us love life.—Ernest Renan. life we may find ourselves, we must exercise our muscles or they will become weak and useless; we must stir and interest our hearts or they will grow hard and unresponsive; we must use our minds or they will become dull and inactive; we must employ our consciences or they will grow to be blind and unsafe guides that must lead us into dark distress.
But If you want to be miserable, think about yourself,—about what you want, what you like, what respect people ought to pay to you, and what people think of you.—Charles Kingsley. to be employed does not mean that we must necessarily work in the fields, or in the factory, or in the office. There are a thousand ways in which we may serve the world. The only requirement is that we shall devote a portion of our time and energy to genuine service in behalf of our brothers, our sisters, our parents, our teachers, our friends, and all the world. And we must be grateful for the chance to serve others and deem it an opportunity rather than an obligation.
Aspiration carries one half the way to one’s desire.—Elizabeth Gibson. And above all, we must find delight in the work we are privileged to do. "Every one should enjoy life," writes the ever glad and inspiring pen guided by the The best thing is to do well what one is doing at the moment.—Pittacus. hand of Patrick Flynn: "Life was made to enjoy. We mean life, itself. The 51 very living and breathing. It is a divine pleasure to inhale a breath of fragrant air out here in the country these charming summer mornings. And what jewels can compare in color or brilliancy To work and not to genius I owe my success.—Daniel Webster. with the pearly dewdrops that shine and glisten in the early sun! And the sun, itself! The great, mysterious, miraculous sun! Its myriads of vibrations No thought is beautiful which is not just, and no thought can be just, that is not founded on truth.—Joseph Addison. dancing in the warm air like golden fairies and dazzling one’s eyes with their wondrous beauty! Aye, and filling one’s soul with love and one’s body with health. And in the evening when the day’s work is done there is above us that mysterious depth of star-spangled sky. We cannot fathom its mystery but like a stream of grace descending from heaven, we can feel the cool, refreshing dew on our upturned brow. Until at last we feel that we should like to take wing and actually fly up among those The loss of self-respect is the only true beggary.—John Lancaster Spalding. unknown worlds and come back with the story to our readers. And even though we cannot grow the wings, we go up in fancy and seldom come back without some new tale. The message is: ’Live life, love life, enjoy life, if you would overcome all fear of death.’" 52
That is the spirit in which we should look upon all the beauty and wonder about us. To-morrow will ever be a joyous hope and yesterday a golden memory, if we are thoughtful regarding the manner in which we live
TO-DAY
Let’s live to-day so it shall
be,
When shrined within the memory,
As free from self-inflicted sorrows
As are our hopes of our to-morrows.
The tactful person looks out for opportunities to be helpful, without being obtrusive.—Margaret E. Sangster. There are many who make the serious mistake of thinking that joyousness and cheerfulness are only for the play hour and are not to be made a part and factor of the time we must devote to toil. No view could be more faulty and regrettable. It is in our working hours that we should seek to be cheerful and sunshiny. All of our tasks should be sweetened and glorified with the leaven of good humor.
The task seems never very long
If measured with a smile and song.
It is labor alone, backed by a good conscience, that keeps us healthy, happy and sane.—Godfrey Blount. Listen while one faithful worker, Emory Belle, tells us how she carried 53the spirit of good cheer to her daily tasks and what came of it:
"I started out to my work one morning, determined to try the power of cheerful thinking (I had been moody long enough). I said to myself: ’I have Labor was truly said by the ancients to be the price which the gods set upon everything worth having.— Lord Avebury. often observed that a happy state of mind has a wonderful effect upon my physical make-up, so I will try its effect upon others, and see if my right thinking can be brought to act upon them.’ You see, I was curious. As I walked along, more and more resolved on my purpose, and persisting that I was happy, that the world was treating me well, I was surprised to find myself lifted up, as it were; my carriage became more erect, my step lighter, and I had the sensation of treading Our daily duties are a part of our religious life just as much as our devotions are.—Beecher. on air. Unconsciously, I was smiling, for I caught myself in the act once or twice. I looked into the faces of the women I passed and there saw so much trouble and anxiety, discontent, even to peevishness, that my heart went out to them, and I wished I could impart to Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.—Shakespeare. them a wee bit of the sunshine I felt pervading me.
"Arriving at the office, I greeted the book-keeper with some passing remark, 54that for the life of me I could not have made under different conditions, I am not naturally witty; it immediately put Energy and determination have done wonders many a time.—Dickens. us on a pleasant footing for the day; she had caught the reflection. The president of the company I was employed by was a very busy man and much worried over his affairs, and at some remark that he made about my work I would ordinarily have felt quite hurt (being too The finest qualities of our nature, like the bloom on fruits, can be preserved only by the most delicate handling.—Thoreau. sensitive by nature and education); but this day I had determined nothing should mar its brightness, so replied to him cheerfully. His brow cleared, and there was another pleasant footing established, and so throughout the day I went, allowing no cloud to spoil its beauty for me or others about me. At the Discretion of speech is more than eloquence: and to speak agreeably to him with whom we deal is more than to speak in good words or in good order.—F. Bacon. kind home where I was staying the same course was pursued, and, where before I had felt estrangement and want of sympathy, I found congeniality and warm friendship. People will meet you half-way if you will take the trouble to go that far.
"So, my sisters, if you think the world is not treating you kindly don’t delay a day, but say to yourselves: ’I am going to keep young in spite of my gray hairs; 55 Bread of flour is good: but there is bread, sweet as honey, if we would eat it, in a good book.—John Ruskin. even if things do not always come my way I am going to live for others, and shed sunshine across the pathway of all I meet.’ You will find happiness springing up like flowers around you, will never want for friends or companionship, and above all the peace of God will rest upon your soul."
What is wrong to-day won’t be right to-morrow.—Dutch Proverb. And all of this was brought about by a change in the attitude of the mind and a determination to look upon the sunshiny, rather than the dark, side of life. We can all do as much. It is for us to say whether we will be happy and make others happy, or whether we shall be distressed and thereby distress others.
We are only so far worthy of esteem as we know how to appreciate.—Goethe. What sort of girl are you going to be? Are you going to make the world glad or sorry that you are in it? Why don’t you decide, as you read these lines, as did Emory Belle when starting to her work that morning, that you will try to carry sunshine and not gloom into the lives of all you meet? Let us hope that there is no great reform in this matter to be worked in your life; but that you have ever been a joy-bringer and not a gloom-maker.
Therefore let us look well to the 56 We are grateful that abundant life lies waiting in the heart of winter, and there is no condition where life is not.—Isabel Goodhue. attitude of mind and our habit of looking at things. One of our careful students of human attributes tells us—and the truth of which we all know—"that there is nothing surer than that we go and grow in just that direction in which our mind is most firmly fixed. Hoarding money absorbs the whole time and mind of the miser; how to scatter it is the chief thought of the spendthrift. Our daily Wishing will bring things in the degree that it incites you to go after them.—Muriel Strode. actions, and their result on our lives, are the effect of a cause—and that cause is invariably our previous thought. What you think most of to-day will be most likely what you will repeat to-morrow. Therefore it is of the utmost It is impossible to estimate the power for good of a bright, glad shining face. Of all the lights you carry on your face Joy shines farthest out to sea.—Anonymous. importance that we begin to think as deeply as possible on just those things that build us up. Half the work is already done if we can only concentrate our minds on that which we desire to do. It is the mind that drags us either up or down. Where that leads we follow.
No one in this world of ours ever became great by echoing the voice of another, repeating what that other has said.—J. C. Van Dyke. The power of direction is with us, but we cannot send our mind in one direction and then take the opposite road ourselves. Therefore, whether we are moving upward or downward in the scale of life depends on whether we are thinking up or thinking 57 down. This is a truth that every person’s experience will prove to his own One fault mender equals twenty faultfinders.—Earl M. Pratt. satisfaction. Thought impels action, action forms habit, and habit rules our lives. So that no matter what direction we may wish to take, up or down, it is only necessary for us to fix our mind in the desired direction."
Let us then, be what we are, speak what we think, and in all things keep ourselves loyal to truth.—Longfellow. So let us pause and take an account of stock and ascertain whether we are thinking ourselves up or down, whether we are building truthfully or falsely, whether we are going forward or backward,
JUST THIS MINUTE
If we’re thoughtful, just this
minute,
In whate’er we say or do;
If we put a purpose in it
That is honest, through and through,
We shall gladden life and give it
Grace to make it all sublime;
For, though life is long, we live it
Just this minute at a time.
There are
some people whose smile, the sound of whose voice, whose very presence, seems
like a ray of sunshine, to turn everything they touch into
gold.—Lord Avebury.
Just this minute we are going
Toward the right or toward the wrong,
Just this minute we are sowing
Seeds of sorrow or of song.
Just this minute we are thinking
On the ways that lead to God,
Or in idle dreams are sinking
To the level of the clod.
Yesterday is gone, to-morrow
Never comes within our grasp;
Just this minute’s joy or sorrow,
That is all our hands may clasp.
Just this minute! Let us take it
As a pearl of precious price,
And with high endeavor make it
Fit to shine in paradise.
It is work which gives flavor to life. Mere existence without object and without effort is a poor thing. Idleness leads to languor, and languor to disgust.—Amiel. One who finds joy in the doing of things can work more easily and steadily than one who works unwillingly and unhappily. Good nature is a lubricant for all the wheels of life. It changes the leaden feet of duty into the airy wings of opportunity, it not only brings happiness but that almost necessary adjunct of happiness,—health.
"In the maintenance of health and the cure of disease," says Dr. A. J. How poor are they who have only money to give!—John Lancaster Spalding. Sanderson, "cheerfulness is a most important factor. Its power to do good like a medicine is not an artificial stimulation of the tissues, to be followed by reaction and greater waste, as is the case with many drugs; but the effect of cheerfulness is 59 Fear begets fear.—A. E. Winship. an actual life-giving influence through a normal channel the results of which reach every part of the system. It brightens the eye, makes ruddy the countenance, brings elasticity to the step, and promotes all the inner forces by which life is sustained. The blood circulates more freely, the oxygen comes to its home in the tissues, health is promoted, and disease is banished."
When we note how generally the What an absurd thing it is to pass over all the valuable parts of a man and fix our attention on his infirmities!—Addison. members of the medical profession ascribe to cheerfulness the very highest of health-giving powers, we are led to think that the wise words quoted above possess a foundation of scientific fact. "Faith, hope and love," says Charles G. Ames, "are purifiers of the blood. They have a peptic quality. They open and enlarge all the channels of bodily vitality. As was learned long ago, ’A There can be no true rest without work and the full delight of a holiday cannot be known except by the man who has earned it.—Hugh Black. merry heart doeth good like a medicine.’ And the self-control which keeps reason on the throne and makes passion serve is the best of all domestic physicians."
So the girl who would go down the paths of sunshine will put joy and enthusiasm into her work and into her play. She will practice her music 60 The more we do the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.— Hazlitt. lesson, take up her studies at school, assist in performing the household duties, and in doing the many tasks that come to her hands in a joyous, whole-hearted manner.
In so doing she will make a Lost—a golden hour, set with sixty diamond minutes. There is no reward, for it is gone forever.—Beecher. pleasure of that which, with dull complaining, would be a drag and a distress. By this cheerful attitude of mind she will be able to mold all things to her will and, better still, she will be able to mold her will to her highest ideal of splendid womanhood. For none can doubt that man Good company and good conversation are the sinews of virtue.—Stephen Allen. is the architect of his own fortune, to a very great extent. He is even more than that, he is of his own self
THE SCULPTOR
I am the sculptor: I, myself, the
clay,
Of which I am to fashion, as I will,
In deed and in desire, day by day,
The pattern of my purpose, good or ill.
In breathless bronze nor the
insensate stone
Must my enduring passion find its goal;
Within the living statue I enthrone
That essence of eternity, the soul.
A triumph is
the closing scene of a contest.—A.
E. Winship. Nor space nor time that soul of yearning bars;
It flashes to the zenith of the sky,
And dwelling mid the mystery of the stars,
Aspires to answer the Eternal Why. 61
It loves the pleasing note of lute
and lyre,
The lily’s purple, the red rose’s
glow;
It wonders at the witchery of the fire,
And marvels at the magic of the snow.
Don’t
forget that the man who can but doesn’t must give place to the man who
can’t but tries.—Comtelburo. "Who taught," it
asks, "the ant to build her nest?
The bee her cells? the hermit thrush to sing?
The dove to plume his iridescent breast?
The butterfly to paint his gorgeous wing?
"The spider how to spin so
wondrous wise?
The nautilus to form his chambered shell?
The carrier-pigeon under alien skies,
Who taught him how his homeward course to
tell?"
By force or favor it would win from
fate
The sacred secret of the blood and breath:
Learn all the hidden springs of love and hate,
And gain dominion over life and death.
Advise well
before you begin, and when you have maturely considered, then act with
promptitude.—Sallust. In every feature of this
sculptured face
Of spirit and of substance, I must mold
The shining symbol of a grander grace;
The hope toward which the centuries have rolled.
Oh, hands of mine that the
unnumbered years
Evolved from hoof and wing and claw and fin,
’T is ours to bring from out the stress and tears,
A godlike figure fashioned from within.
CHAPTER IV
SOME EVERY-DAY VIRTUES
I would rather be right than president!" Each, whatever his estate, in his own unconscious breast bears the talisman of fate.—John Townsend Trowbridge.
At first thought those words seem to be the declaration of an unusually upright and conscientious person. But let us study them a little more deeply and closely.
When a man has not a good reason for doing a thing, he has one good reason for letting it alone.—Thomas Scott. The desire to do right and to deserve the approbation of all good people is very strong in every human breast. Not until a man has lost his moral sense of values would he trade his integrity and self-respect for any other gift the world could offer. This being true, who among us would care to be president if in order to occupy that exalted position he must be obviously in the wrong?
Once a body laughs he cannot be angry more.—James M. Barrie. Thus we see that after all is said and done, the one great prize for which we all aspire is the love and good will of our friends and of the world. For no matter 66 Success is usually the result of a sharpened sense of what is wanted.—Frank Moore Colby. how much of wealth and fame may come to us, without the love and respect of our fellow beings we must ever remain poor and friendless.
He is the richest who deserves the most friends. Wealth is a matter of the He that falls in love with himself, will have no rivals.—Benjamin Franklin. heart and not of the pocket. A thousand slaves piling up wealth for their master cannot make him rich. It is not that which others do for us that makes us possessors of great wealth, but that which we do for others. All true riches are self made. Only when the hand and the heart are put into one’s work does it yield a lasting worth. In the final true analysis the picture forever belongs to the painter who paints it; the poem to the poet who writes it; the loaf of bread to the toiler who earns it. Wealth may acquire these things but it cannot own them.
A sinful heart makes a feeble hand.—Walter Scott. Therefore the true value of character is something that each must achieve for himself. It cannot be bought; it cannot be bequeathed to us; it must be earned by each individual who would possess it. Hence it is that these great riches may be acquired by all who desire to possess them. 67
Look within, for you have a lasting foundation of happiness at home that will always bubble up if you will but dig for it.—Marcus Aurelius Antoninus. Where are they to be found? Right here.
When may we obtain them? Right now.
Do you care to learn the only way in which you can come into possession of them? "Whoever you are—wise or foolish, rich or poor," says Rebecca Harding Davis, "God sent you into His To a friend’s house the road is never long.—Danish Proverb. world, as He sent every other human being, to help the men and women in it, to make them happier and better. If you do not do that, no matter what your powers may be, you are mere lumber, a worthless bit of world’s furniture. A Stradivarius, if it hangs dusty and dumb upon the wall, is not of as much real value as a kitchen poker which is used."
Honest toil is holy service; faithful work is praise and prayer.—Henry Van Dyke. So we learn that it is the fine practical spirit, content and willing to do the humble things which are possible of achievement that is doing most to lift the world to a higher and better plane. "Have you never met humble men and Give me the toiler’s joy who has seen the sunlight burst on the distant turrets in the land of his desire.— Muriel Strode. women," asks Gannett, "who read little, who knew little, yet who had a certain fascination as of fineness lurking about them? Know them, and you are likely to find them persons who have put so 68 much thought and honesty and conscientious trying into their common work—it may be sweeping rooms, or planing You can buy a lot of happiness with a mighty small salary, but fashionable happiness always costs just a little more than you’re making.—George Horace Lorimer. boards, or painting walls—have put their ideals so long, so constantly, so lovingly into that common work of theirs, that finally these qualities have come to permeate not their work only, but so much of their being, that they are fine-fibred within, even if on the outside the rough bark clings."
If we are wisely introspective, we must reach the conclusion that humble though we may be, we are after all, a A tart temper never mellows with age, and a sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.—Washington Irving. component part of the great expression of being, and that we are well worth while. Then if we are worth while, it follows that all we do is worth while, for each of us is, in the end, the sum of all the things he has done. Once we have this idea that everything stands for something more than the mere thing itself—that it is correlated in its influences with all the other things that we and all others are doing, we shall invest all our tasks, little and big, with more of purpose and importance. Emerson says:
"There is no end to the sufficiency of character. It can afford to wait; it can 69 Where there is one man who squints with his eyes, there are a dozen who squint with their brains.—Oliver Wendell Holmes. do without what it calls success; it cannot but succeed. To a well-principled man existence is victory. He defends himself against failure in his main design by making every inch of the road to it pleasant. There is no trifle and no obscurity to him: he feels the immensity of the chain whose last link he holds in his hand, and is led by it."
When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.—Jonathan Swift. Perhaps no other every-day virtue counts for so much in the general welfare of the world as the adapting of one’s self to, and the making the most of, one’s immediate surroundings. It is in the hundreds of little, unrecorded deeds of kindness and goodness that we lay the foundations of character. And because these humble lives, that mean so much to the other humble lives with which they What we have got to do is to keep up our spirits and be neighborly. We shall come all right in the end, never fear.—Dickens. come into touch, are never specifically named and shouted by the multitudinous tongues of type, that many fail to see in them the elements of true and noble achievement with which they are crowned. "The most inspiring tales," it has been truly said, "are those that have not been written; the most heroic deeds are those that have not been told; the world’s greatest successes have been 70 Happiness is the feeling we experience when we are too busy to be miserable.—Thomas L. Masson. won in the quiet of men’s hearts, the noblest heroes are the countless thousands who have struggled and triumphed, rising on stepping-stones of their dead selves to higher things."
Since it is these humbler every-day virtues that one is called upon oftenest to exercise, or to neglect, it is apparent Duty is the sublimest word in the English language.—Gen. Robert E. Lee. that the one who possesses the most of them and who cultivates them the most earnestly has the greatest number of opportunities of winning the admiration of others. It is of a girl possessing this fine adaptability to the world’s workaday surroundings that "Amber" draws this pen-picture: "Shall I tell the kind of girl Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement; nothing can be done without hope.—Keller. that I especially adore? Well, first of all, let us take the working girl. She is not a ’lady’ in the acceptance of the term as it is employed by many members of this latter day’s hybrid democracy. She is just a blithe, cheery, sweet-tempered The activity and soundness of a man’s actions will be determined by the activity and soundness of his thoughts.—Beecher. young woman. She may have a father rich enough to support her at home, but for all that she is a working girl. She is never idle. She is studying or sewing or helping about the home part of the day. She is romping or playing or swinging out of doors the other part. She is never 71 What men want is not talent, it is purpose; not the power to achieve, but the will to labor.—Bulwer Lytton. frowsy or untidy or lazy. She is never rude or slangy or bold. And yet she is always full of fun and ready for frolic. She does not depend upon a servant to do what she can do for herself. She is considerate toward all who serve her. She is reverent to the old and thoughtful of the feeble. She never criticises when criticism can wound, and she is ready with a helpful, loving word for every one. Sometimes she has no father, or her parents are too poor to support her. Then she goes out and earns her living by whatever her hands find to do. She clerks in a store, or she counts out change at a cashier’s desk, or she teaches school, or she clicks a typewriter, or rather a telegrapher’s key, but We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.—Longfellow. always and everywhere she is modest and willing and sweet.
"She has too much dignity to be imposed upon, or put to open affront, but she has humility also, and purity that differs from prudishness as a dove The great hope of society is individual character.—Channing. in the air differs from a stuffed bird in a showcase. She is quick to apologize when she knows she is in the wrong, yet no young queen ever carried a higher head than she can upon justifiable occasions. She 72 Concentrate all your thought upon the work in hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.—Alexander G. Bell. is not always imagining herself looked down upon because she is poor. She knows full well that out of her own heart and mouth proceed the only witnesses that can absolve or condemn her. If she is quick to be courteous, unselfish, gentle and retiring in speech and manner in Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your reputation, for it is better to be alone than in bad company.—George Washington. public places, she is true gold, even though her dress be faded and her hat a little out of style. You cannot mistake any such girl any more than you can mistake the sunshine that follows the rain or the lark that springs from the hawthorne hedge. All things that are blooming and sweet attend her! The earth is better for her passing through it and heaven will be fairer for her habitation therein."
How fortunate it is for us who would practice these little every-day virtues that we do not have to wait for some noted person at some remote time to tell the world that we are striving in our own humble way to be kind and thoughtful. There is some one within the sound of our voice and within the reach of our hand who will be glad to testify to our goodness.
Kindness is never shown in vain. 73
The public school playground transposes many a boy from a public liability to a public asset.—A. E. Winship. The gift blesses the giver, even though the one receiving the gift is ungrateful. Consciously or unconsciously we exert an influence upon all who come within the zone of our being. Surely those who know us best ought to be the ones to appreciate Real coolness and self-possession are the indispensable accompaniments of a great mind.—Dickens. us the most intelligently. If we are lovable, will they not love us? If we love them, will it not serve to make them lovable? Let us not keep the nice little attentions and the carefully selected words for the stranger and the passer-by, but have as much regard for the ones of our own intimate family circle. One of the crying needs of society is the revival of gentleness and of a refined considerateness in judging others.—Newell D. Hillis. We should be happy to do most for them who do most for us. One of our students of human happiness says to us: "Get into the way of idealizing what you have; let the picturesqueness of your own imagination play round the village where you do live, instead of the one where you wish to live; weave a romance round the brother you have got, instead In this world inclination to do things is of more importance than the mere power.—Chapin. of round the Prince Perfect of a husband whom you have not got." And Marcus Aurelius says: "Think not so much of what thou hast not, as of what thou hast; but of the things which thou hast, select the best, and then reflect how eagerly 74 they would have been sought if thou had’st them not."
Character lives in a man, reputation outside of him.—J. G. Holland. Culture, itself, is but a composite expression of our simple, every-day virtues. It must be measured by its outward manifestation of regard for the pleasure, Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.—Johnson. happiness and advancement of others. Literary culture will open up the windows of the soul that the light of virtue from within may shine forth and dispel the darkness of vice with which it comes in contact. "Unless one’s knowledge of good books—his literary scholarship—has Patience is a necessary ingredient of genius.—Disraeli. so taken hold upon him as to make him exemplary, in a large measure, he cannot be said to be cultured," says one of our students of higher ethics. "His learning should cultivate a choice and beautiful address, a cheerful and loving countenance, a magnificent and spirited carriage, a refinement of manner, an agreeable presence."
The extent to which we may feel a sense of peaceful satisfaction at the end of a day, depends upon how we have lived that day. We soon learn that the day means most for us in which we do most for others. If we have lived for self alone, it has been 75
A LOST DAY
Count that day truly worse than
lost
You might have made divine,
Through which you sprinkled bits of frost
But never a speck of shine.
"At the end of life," says Hugh Black, "we shall not be asked how much pleasure Follow your honest convictions and be strong.—Thackeray. we had in it, but how much service we gave in it; not how full it was of success, but how full it was of sacrifice; not how happy we were, but how helpful we were; not how ambition was gratified, but how love was served. Life is judged by love; and love is known by her fruits."
The every-day virtues include very many fine little traits that serve unconsciously to make our paths smoother, Admonish your friends privately, but praise them openly.—Publius Syrus. our skies bluer and all of life more glad and golden. They constitute a habit of doing the right thing at all times and so quietly and unostentatiously that no one is made to feel any sense of obligation. One who possesses these virtues does not wait for stated times and occasions to bestow evidences of love and good will upon others, but like a flower in bloom spreads the fine perfume of friendship upon all who come within the charmed presence. Intuitively and unconsciously 76 Economy is of itself a great revenue.—Comtelburo. does the owner of these virtues follow the precept set forth by the philosopher: "I shall pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me Grace is the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul.—Hazlitt. not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." And in expressing the same sentiment Amiel says: "Do not wait to be just or pitiful or demonstrative towards those we love until they or we are struck down by illness or threatened with death. Life is short, Pull on the oar and not on your influential friends.—A. E. Winship. and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh! be swift to love, make haste to be kind!" We should not wait till some sad experience has taught us the rare privilege we may now own of offering Our grand business undoubtedly is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.—Carlyle.
A ROSE TO THE LIVING
A rose to the living is more
Than sumptuous wreaths to the dead;
In filling love’s infinite store;
A rose to the living is more,
If graciously given before
The hungering spirit is fled,—
A rose to the living is more
Than sumptuous wreaths to the dead.
Of all the homely virtues there is none more to be commended and desired than The noblest mind the best contentment hath.—Spenser. patience. This priceless quality of mind puts its possessor into friendly relations with whatever the surrounding conditions may chance to be. There is no irritation, no clash of interests, no lack of organization for performing to the best of one’s ability the duties of the moment, as they present themselves for consideration. Nothing is so conducive to success as to be able, calmly and patiently, to do to the best of one’s ability the tasks that present themselves. "Success in life," says one of our students of the world’s The man who has begun to live more seriously within, begins to live more simply without.—Phillips Brooks. problems, "depends far more upon the decision of character than upon the possession of what is called genius. The man who is perpetually hesitating as to which of two things he will do, will do neither." On the other hand the man who hastily and impatiently disposes of the problems that confront him also impairs his chances for making the best of life.
To be usefully and hopefully employed is one of the great secrets of happiness.—Smiles. Have you ever experienced the sorry realization of how one petulant or peevish member of a household can destroy the happiness of a breakfast or dinner 78 Everything in this world depends upon will.—Disraeli. hour? What would otherwise have been a pleasant coming together of kindly congenial spirits is made painful and unprofitable because some one lacked the patience and forbearance to withstand and to surmount some little trial or irritation that should have been promptly dismissed from the mind and the heart, or better still, which never should have been permitted to enter. As has been truly observed, membership in the family involves the recognition that A man is valued according to his own estimate of himself.—Comtelburo. the normal life of the individual is to be found only in a perfect union with other members; in regard for their rights; in deference to their wishes; and in devotion to that common interest in which each member shares. Each member All men wish to have truth on their side; but few to be on the side of truth.—Whately. must live for the sake of the whole family. "Children owe to their parents obedience, and such service as they are able to render," says Dr. DeWitt Hyde. "Parents, on the other hand, owe to children support, training, and an education sufficient to give them a fair start in life. Mightier than all the world, the clasp of one small hand upon the heart.—John Townsend Trowbridge. Brothers and sisters owe to each other mutual helpfulness and protection."
The patient disposition to do the best one can, this day, this hour, this very 79 moment, counts for much in the building of a life. How perfectly is its whole purpose set forth in Channing’s "Symphony," in which he so beautifully makes known his heart’s desire: "To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury; and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart; to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasions, hurry never. In a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common. This is to be my symphony."
The truest wisdom is a resolute determination.—Napoleon. It is this rare sense of poise, this patient regard for our own happiness and that of others, that enables some sweet spirits to come as a balm for all the Character must stand behind and back up everything—the sermon, the poem, the picture, the play. None of them is worth a straw without it.—J. G. Holland. bruises that a busy world can put upon us. "There is no joy but calm." Until one has learned to do his work pleasantly and agreeably he has not mastered the most important part of his lesson. "Blessed is the man who finds joy in his work." He will succeed where the complaining, discontented person will be 80 almost sure to fail. So, let us cultivate this The question every morning is not how to do the gainful thing, but how to do the just thing.—John Ruskin. one of the chiefest of our every-day virtues. It will enable us to give to every moment the proper regard for its value and of the possibilities it offers for achievement. It will teach us that during every day, every hour, every moment, there is time for politeness, for Resolve to be thyself; and know that he who finds himself, loses his misery.—Matthew Arnold. kindness, for gentleness, for the display of strength and tenderness and high purpose, and for the exercise of that degree of patience that does so much to make life big and broad and beautiful in
THIS BUSY WORLD
It is a very busy world in which we
mortals meet,
There are so many weary hands, so many tired feet;
So many, many tasks are born with every morning’s sun.
And though we labor with a will the work seems never done.
I hate a thing done by halves. If it be right, do it
boldly; if it be wrong, leave it undone.—Gilpin. And yet for every
moment’s task there comes a moment’s time:
The burden and the strength to bear are like a perfect rhyme.
The heart makes strong the honest hand, the will seeks out the way,
Nor must we do to-morrow’s work, nor yesterday’s, to-day.
We scale the mountain’s rugged
side, not at one mighty leap,
But step by step and breath by breath we climb the lofty steep.
What we need most is not so much to realize the ideal as
to idealize the real.—F. H.
Hedge. Each simple duty comes alone our willing strength to
try;
One little moment at a time and so the days go by.
With strength to lift and heart to hope, we strive from sun to sun,
A little here, a little there, and all our tasks are done;
There’s time to toil and time to sing and time for us to play,
Nor must we do to-morrow’s work, nor yesterday’s, to-day.
CHAPTER V
THE VALUE OF SUNSHINE
Kind words are worth much and they cost little.—Proverb. Do people like you?
Are your girl playmates and classmates fond of your society? Are they eager to work with you, play with you, go strolling or sit by the fire with you? The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.—Marcus Aurelius Antoninus.
This one fact we must know; if we are not liked it must be because we are not the possessors of that fine quality known as "likableness." And if those who have had an opportunity to know us and our traits of character do not love and To do something, however small, to make others happier and better, is the highest ambition, the most elevating hope, which can inspire a human being.—Lord Avebury. admire us, it is we and not they who are responsible for their state of mind. For as sure as the warm sunshine attracts the flowers, and the fragrant flowers call the attention of the bee to their store of honey, so a fine likable character is certain to gain and to hold the admiration of good friends and true.
Always laugh when you can; it is a cheap medicine. Merriment is a philosophy not well understood. It is the sunny side of existence.—Byron. The face full of sunshine, the heart full of hope, the lips that are speaking pleasant 86 words of good cheer and joyous faith in the world, will attract friends about them as certainly as the magnetic pole attracts the needle.
The girl who goes among the people with smiles to offer will find very many ready to receive her gracious gifts, but if she carries with her sighs and frowns, Happiness gives us the energy which is the basis of all health.—Amiel. instead, she will learn that the world wants none of them.
We all love to hear pleasant things. The one who tells us that he thinks it is going to set in for a long rainy spell of weather is of less worth to us than the one who says he thinks that the clouds are going to clear away and that we shall have a beautiful day to-morrow.
The grandsire who tells his young friends that they ought to be glad that the grandest, brightest and best era in the world’s history is just before them, does much more to inspire them than does the one who tells them that the Not in the clamour of the crowded streets, not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng, but in ourselves are triumph and defeat.—Longfellow. best days of the world were "the good old days of long ago," and that the golden age will never return again. Brooke Herford tells us: "There are some people who ride all through the journey of life with their backs to the horse’s head. 87
They are always looking into the past. All the worth of things is there. They are forever talking about the good old times, and how different things were when A man should always keep learning something—"always," as Arnold said, "keep the stream running"—whereas most people let it stagnate about middle life.—Anonymous. they were young. There is no romance in the world now, and no heroism. The very winters and summers are nothing to what they used to be; in fact, life is altogether on a small, commonplace scale. Now that is a miserable sort of thing; it brings a sort of paralyzing chill over the life, and petrifies the natural spring of joy that should ever be leaping up to meet the fresh new mercies that A smile passes current in every country as a mark of distinction.—Joe Mitchell Chapple. the days keep bringing."
Know then, my young friends, that the best time that ever was is the present time, if you will but use it aright. It is full of romance, of heroism, of The thoughts of men are widened with the process of the suns.—Tennyson. splendid opportunity, of all that goes to constitute experience and to develop character. There never was a time when there were more good things to be done, or when greater rewards awaited the doers of them. The summers are just as long and bright and golden; the roses blossom just as numerously and as sweetly; human hearts are just as warm and kindly, No man ever sunk under the burden of the day. It is when to-morrow’s burden is added to the burden of to-day that the burden is more than a man can bear.—George MacDonald. as they have been at any time in the world’s 88 history. Emerson says: "One of the illusions is that the present hour is not the critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the whole year."
So then as far as the time and the hour are concerned, there is nothing in Though sorrow must come, where is the advantage of rushing to meet it? It will be time enough to grieve when it comes; meanwhile, hope for better things.—Seneca. our surroundings to make us morose or gloomy or dispirited or indifferent regarding the influence we are exerting upon those around us. There is no obvious reason why we should not be joyous and happy at the prospect before us. We should have not only grace enough for our own personal needs, but plenty of it to spare for those not so gladly born as ourselves.
And rich beyond computation is the one who has joyousness to spare. Better All my old opinions were only stages on the way to the one I now hold, as itself is only a stage on the way to something else.—R. L. Stevenson. than gold, better than food and raiment and all material things, betimes, is a ray of sunshine from the heart, an uplift of saving humor from a merry tongue. "I have often felt, myself," says Benson, "that the time has come to raise another figure to the hierarchy of Christian graces. Faith, Hope and Charity were sufficient in a more elementary and barbarous age, but, now that the world has 89 Hasten slowly, and, without losing heart, put your work twenty times upon the anvil.—Boileau. broadened somewhat, I think an addition to the trio is demanded. A man may be faithful, hopeful, and charitable, and yet leave much to be desired. He may be useful, no doubt, with that equipment, but he may also be both tiresome and even absurd. The fourth quality that I should like to see raised to the highest rank among the Christian graces is the Grace of Humor."
Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control—these three alone lead life to sovereign power.—Tennyson. Splendidly blest is that household that is so fortunate as to possess at least one member gifted with the grace of good humor. One such person in a home is enough if there cannot be more. Just when all the others are seriously It is curious to what an extent our happiness or unhappiness depends upon the manner in which we view things.—E. C. Burke. confronting what seems to be a most sad and serious condition of affairs how just one word of illuminating good humor can change the whole point of view and send the foreboding proposition glimmering into nothingness. "Do you know, my dear," says Mrs. Holden, "that there is absolutely nothing that will help you to bear the ills of life so well as a good laugh? Laugh all you can and the small Those who never retract their opinions love themselves more than they love truth.—Joubert. imps in blue who love to preempt their quarters in a human heart will scatter away like owls before the music of flutes. 90
There are few of the minor difficulties and annoyances that will not dissipate at the charge of the nonsense brigade. If the clothes line breaks, if the cat tips over the milk and the dog elopes with the roast, if the children fall into the mud simultaneously with the advent of clean aprons, if the new Truth is tough; it will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening.—Oliver Wendell Holmes. girl quits in the middle of housecleaning, and though you search the earth with candles you find none to take her place, if the neighbor you have trusted goes back on you and decides to keep chickens, if the chariot wheels of the uninvited guest draw near when you are out of provender, and the gaping of your empty purse is like the unfilled mouth of a young robin, take courage if you have Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices.—Emerson. enough sunshine in your heart, to keep the laugh on your lips. Before good nature, half the cares of daily living will fly away like midges before the wind. Try it."
What a world of inspiration and cheerfulness in the motto written by Edward Everett Hale for the Lend-A-Hand Society: "Look up, and not down; look forward, and not back; look out, and not in; and lend a hand." It is the lifting of the The aids to noble life are all within.—Matthew Arnold. burden from another’s tired shoulder 91 that does most to lighten the load resting on our own.
No one who truly is conscious of the value of sunshine upon his own nature Nothing is difficult; it is only we who are indolent.—B. R. Haydon. and upon the spirits of those with whom he comes into contact will ever, for one minute, permit himself to be taken possession of by
THE "BLUES"
"Blues" are the sorry
calms that come
To make our spirits mope,
And steal the breeze of promise from
The shining sails of hope.
It is a serious thing that we should see the full beauty of our lives only when they are passed or in visions of a possible future. What we most need is to see and feel the beauty and joy of to-day.—Maurice D. Conway. Margaret E. Sangster, who is the kind and gracious foster mother to all the girls of her time and generation, says that "being in bondage to the blues is precisely like being lost in a London fog. The latter is thick and black and obliterates familiar landmarks. A man may be within a few doors of his home, yet grope hopelessly through the murk to find the well-worn threshold. A person Let us enjoy the scenery of the present moment. The landscape around the bend will still be there when our life-train arrives.—Horatio W. Dresser. under the tyranny of the blues is temporarily unable to adjust life to its usual limitations. He or she cannot see an inch beyond the dreadful present. Everything looks dark and forbidding, and despair with an iron 92
clutch pins its victim down. People think, loosely, that trials that may be weighed and measured and felt and handled are the worst trials to which flesh is If we cannot get what we like let us try to like what we can get.—Spanish Proverb. heir. But they are mistaken. Hearts are elastic, and real sorrows seldom crush them. Souls have in them a wonderful capacity for recovering after knockdown blows. It is the intangible, the thing that one dreads vaguely, that catches one in the dark, that suggests and intimates a peril that is spiritual rather than mortal; it is the burden that carries dismay and terror to the imagination."
Men continually forget that happiness is a condition of the mind and not a disposition of circumstances.— Lecky. A single member of a household who is given to having "the blues" often darkens a home that would otherwise be bright and sunny. Such an unfortunate person should bear in mind that when a servant is employed the whole household Delicacy in woman is strength.— Lichtenberg. expects her to be kind, tidy, industrious, moral, gentle, and, above all, good natured in her attitude toward all. Surely the daughter of a household cannot wish to feel that she holds her position by accident of birth, and that if her family were not compelled to keep her they would not. 93 If you would know the political and moral condition of a people, ask as to the condition of its women.—Aime Martin.
Charles Dickens says: "It is not possible to know how far the influence of any amiable, honest-hearted, duty-doing man flows out into the world." A bright, cheerful, sunshiny daughter in a home can never know how great is her influence for making the little household world holier and happier for all whose life Who has not experienced how, on nearer acquaintance, plainness becomes beautified, and beauty loses its charm, according to the quality of the heart and mind.—Fredrika Bremer. interests are centered therein. Hamilton Wright Mabie says: "The day is dark only when the mind is dark; all weathers are pleasant when the heart is at rest." Bliss Carman observes that "happiness, perhaps, comes by the grace of Heaven, but the wearing of a happy countenance, the preserving of a happy mien, is a duty, not a blessing." This thought that it is one’s duty to be happy Her voice was ever soft, gentle and low,—an excellent thing in woman.—Shakespeare. is set forth still more forcibly by Lilian Whiting: "No one has any more right to go about unhappy than he has to go about ill-bred."
The girl with sunshine in her thoughts and sunshine in her eyes will find Gentleness, cheerfulness, and urbanity are the Three Graces of manners.—Marguerite de Valois. sunshine everywhere. Wherever she may go her gracious presence will light the way and make her every path more smooth and beautiful. In the home, in the school, amid whatever conditions 94 surround her, she will shine with the glow of a rose in bloom. She will see the good and the beautiful in the persons whom she meets; while all the charms of nature, as portrayed in field and forest, will be to her a never-ending source of interest and enjoyment. Above all, she will warmly cherish life and look upon To have what we want is riches, but to be able to do without is power.—George MacDonald. it as being crowded with priceless opportunities for obtaining happiness for herself and for others. She will be filled with the same exhuberant spirit of joy in the mere fact of her being that Mrs. Holden so happily sets forth: "I love this world. I never walk out in the morning when all its radiant colors are newly washed with dew, or at splendid noon, when, like an untired racer, the sun has flashed around his mid-day course, or at evening, when a fringe of a shadow, A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone.—Thoreau. like the lash of a weary eye, droops over mountain and valley and sea, or in the majestic pomp of night when stars swarm together like bees, and the moon clears its way through the golden fields as a sickle through the ripened wheat, that I do not hug myself for very joy that I am yet alive. What matter if I am poor and unsheltered and costumeless? 95
In truth, how could I feel this gladness now had I not known the bitterness of woe.—Alicia K. Van Buren. Thank God, I am yet alive! People who tire of this world before they are seventy and pretend that they are ready to leave it, are either crazy or stuck as full of bodily ailments as a cushion is of pins. The happy, the warm-blooded, the sunny-natured and the loving cling to life as petals cling to the calyx of a Of all the joys we can bring into our own lives there is none so joyous as that which comes to us as the result of caring for others and brightening sad lives.—E. C. Burke. budding rose. By and by, when the rose is over-ripe, or when the frosts come and the November winds are trumpeting through all the leafless spaces of the woods, will be time to die. It is no time now, while there is a dark space left on earth that love can brighten, while there is a human lot to be alleviated by a smile, or a burden to be lifted with a sympathizing tear."
We all understand that it is not so difficult for us to be bright and smiling and gracious toward everyone when there is naught to disturb the serenity of our Human improvement is from within outward.—Froude. thoughts, and when nothing happens to interfere with the fulfillment of our wishes. But when things go "at sixes and sevens," when our dearest purposes are thwarted, when some one is about to gain the place or prize which we covet, when we are forced to stay within doors 96 when we very much prefer to go in the fields; then it requires more of character, more of strength, more of the true spirit of sacrifice to wear a smiling face and to maintain a cheerful heart. But instead of fleeing from the Cheerfulness and content are great beautifiers, and are famous preservers of good looks.—Dickens. petty trials that cross our paths we should welcome them as opportunities for testing and strengthening our good purposes. Newcomb tells us: "Disappointment should always be taken as a stimulant, and never viewed as a discouragement." To the sunshiny, philosophical person, trials and difficulties but serve to help him to develop into
THE PRIZE WINNER
Oh, the man
who wins the prize
Is the one who bravely tries,
As he works his way amid the toil and stress,
Through the college of Hard Knocks,
So to hew his stumbling-blocks,
They will serve as stepping-stones toward success.
The law of true living is toil.—J. R. Miller. Sunshine has ever been deemed by the close students of life as a most essential element in the achievement We may make the best of life, or we may make the worst of it, and it depends very much upon ourselves whether we extract joy or misery from it.—Smiles. of the highest and fullest success. The optimist sees open paths leading to pleasant and prosperous fields of endeavor where the 97 pessimist can see no way out of the hopeless surroundings amid which he has been thrust by an unkind fate. The disposition to seize upon the opportunities Every optimist moves along with progress and hastens it, while every pessimist would keep the world at a standstill.—Helen Keller. lying close at hand and to believe that the here and now is full of sunshine and golden possibilities has carried many a one to success, where others, lacking the illumination born of good cheer and a hope well grounded in a broad and beautiful faith, have sat complainingly by the He that riseth late, must trot all day, and shall scarce overtake his business at night.—Benjamin Franklin. way and permitted the golden chances to go by unobserved.
"Born of only ordinary capacity, but of extraordinary persistency," said Professor Maria Mitchell, the distinguished astronomer, in the later years of It is great folly not to part with your own faults, which is possible, but to try instead to escape from other people’s faults, which is impossible.—Marcus Aurelius. her life in looking back upon her career. But she added, with a simplicity as rare as it is pleasing: "I did not quite take this in, myself, until I came to mingle with the best girls of our college, and to become aware how rich their mines are and how little they have been worked." At sixteen she left school, and at eighteen accepted the position of librarian of the Nantucket public library. Her duties were light and she had ample opportunity, surrounded as she was by books, 98 Labor is discovered to be the grand conquerer, enriching and building up nations more surely than the proudest battles.—William Ellery Channing. to read and study, while leisure was also left her to pursue by practical observation the science in which she afterward became known. Those who dwell upon the smaller islands, among which must be classed Nantucket, her island It is easier to leave the wrong thing unsaid than to unsay it.—George Horace Lorimer. home, learn almost of necessity to study the sea and the sky. The Mitchell family possessed an excellent telescope. From childhood Maria had been accustomed to the use of this instrument, searching out with its aid, the distant sails upon the horizon by day, and viewing the stars by night. Her father possessed a marked taste for astronomy, and carried on an independent series of observations. He taught his daughter all he knew, and what was more to her advancement, she applied herself to the study and made as much independent Work is the inevitable condition of human life, the true source of human welfare.—Tolstoi. advancement as was possible for her to do. It was this cheerful willingness to make the most of her immediate surroundings that proved to be the secret of her world-wide fame in after years when her name was included with those of the other prominent astronomers of the world. At half past ten of the evening of October First, 1847, 99 If you want knowledge, you must toil for it; and if pleasure, you must toil for it. Toil is the law. Pleasure comes through toil, and not by self-indulgence and indolence. When one gets to love work, his life is a happy one.—Ruskin. she made the discovery which first brought her name before the public. She was gazing through her glass with her usual quiet intentness when she was suddenly startled to perceive "an unknown comet, nearly vertical above Polaris, about five degrees." At first she could not believe her eyes; then hoping and doubting, scarcely daring to think that she had really made a discovery, she obtained its right ascension and declination. She then told her father, who gave One of the grandest things in having rights is that, being your rights, you may give them up.—George MacDonald. the news to the other astronomers and to the world, and her claim to the discovery was duly accepted and ever after stood to her lasting credit. But had she not been interested in her work and competent to seize upon and to make the most of the opportunity that presented itself, she would not have been able to make herself the first of all the beings of our earth to observe and record this strange visitant to our starry realms above us.
Every individual has a place to fill in the world, and is important in some respects, whether he chooses to be or not.—Hawthorne. It is the faith which the sunshiny spirit has in the "worth whileness" of life and its possibilities that makes him or her who possesses it prepare for the best that is to come. It is because of the "preparedness" achieved by labor that men and 100 women are able to seize upon and make the most of the "lucky chance" that may bring them happiness and success.
Expediency is man’s wisdom. Doing right is God’s.—George Meredith. While Thomas A. Edison was yet a youth, the desire to make himself of worth to the world and to be able to do something that would make him a living while he was still fitting himself for better things, he spent the leisure which most Diamonds are found only in the dark places of the earth; truths are found only in the depths of thought.—Victor Hugo. boys would spend in idleness or purposeless pastime in learning the telegrapher’s code. Later on this knowledge gave him work which enabled him to gain experience as a telegraph operator, which in turn led to his invention of the quadruplex telegraph. But the invention was temporarily a I simply declare my determination not to feed on the broth of literature when I can get strong soup.—George Eliot. failure, although later on a great success. Sorely reduced in circumstances, he was one day tramping the streets of New York without a cent.
"I happened one day," he says, "into the office of a ’gold ticker’ company which had about five hundred subscribers. A thousand words leave not the same deep print as does a single deed.—Ibsen. I was standing beside the apparatus when it gave a terrific rip-roar and suddenly stopped. In a few minutes hundreds of messenger boys blocked up the doorway and yelled for some one to fix 101 the tickers in the office. The man in charge of the place was completely upset; so I stepped up to him and said: ’I think I know what’s the matter.’ I removed a loose contact spring that had fallen between the wheels; the machine went on. The result? I was appointed to take charge of the Woman—the crown of creation.—Herder. service at three hundred dollars a month. When I heard what the salary was I almost fainted." It had been his hopeful, cheerful, expectant attitude toward the future that had ever prompted him to fit himself so well that when the opportunity offered itself he was able to show that he possessed the grasp of things that made him
THE CONQUEROR
There’s a day, there’s
an hour, a moment of timeHarmony is the essence of power
as well as beauty.—A. E. Winship.
When Fate shall be willing to try us;
This one test of our worth and our purpose sublime,
It will not, it cannot deny us.
’Tis our right to demand one true crisis, else how
Shall we prove by our valor undaunted
That we merit the wreath Fortune lays on the brow
Of the man who is there when he’s wanted?
And whene’er Opportunity
knocks at his doorBe faithful to thyself, and fear no
other witness but thy fear.—Shelley.
The wise one’s glad greeting is,
"Ready!"
He has garnered, of knowledge, an adequate store,
His purpose is seasoned and steady.
With soul and with spirit, with hand and with heart,
And with strength that he never has vaunted,
He is fashioned and fitted to compass his part,
Is the man who is there when he’s wanted.
The world is a stage and our lives
are a playTo give heartfelt praise to noble actions is,
in some measure, making them our own.—La Rochefoucauld.
And the role that is given us in it
May be grand or obscure, yet there comes the great day
When we speak its best lines for a minute.
And the dream that through all of life’s trials and tears,
The soul, like soft music, has haunted,
Comes true, and the world gives its smiles and its cheers
To the man who is there when he’s wanted.
CHAPTER VI
A MERRY HEART
Mirth is God’s medicine; everybody ought to bathe in it.—Holmes. Who among us can presume to estimate the value of a merry heart? What a perpetual blessing it is to its possessor and to all who must come into close relationship with the owner of it!
The blue of heaven is larger than the cloud—Elizabeth Barrett Browning. There is nothing more pleasantly "catching" than happiness. The happy person serves to make all about him or her the more happy. What the bright, inspiring sunshine adds to the beauty of the fields, a happy disposition adds to the charm of all the incidents and experiences of one’s daily life.
A gay, serene spirit is the source of all that is noble and good.—Schiller. Do not you, whose eyes are perusing these lines, love to associate with a friend possessing a cheerful disposition? And do you not intuitively refrain from meeting with the unfortunate one whose looks and words are heavy with complainings or whose eyes fail to see the beauty of the world lying all about? And 106 Your manners will depend very much on what you frequently think on; for the soul is as it were tinged with the color and complexion of thought.—Marcus Aurelius Antoninus. if we are given to wise thinking we must reach the conclusion that as we regard these attributes in others, so others must regard them in us.
Nothing is more eloquent than a beautiful face. It is the open sesame to all our hearts. A sunshiny face melts away all opposition and finds the word "Welcome" written over the doorways where the face wearing a hard, unfriendly look sees only the warning, "No Admittance."
Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.—Benjamin Franklin. But a smile that is only skin deep is not a true smile, but only a superficial grin. A true smile comes all the way from the heart. It bears its message of good will and friendliness. It is a mute salutation of "good luck and happy days to you!" and it makes whoever receives it better and stronger for the hour.
Be yourself, but make yourself in everything as delightful as you can.—Margaret E. Sangster. The genuine smile is closely related to, and is a part of, that laughter which beams and sparkles in the eye and makes the little, cheerful, smiling lines in the face that are so quickly and easily distinguished from the lines that are the outward sign of an unhappy spirit within.
Many centuries ago that wise and 107 The tissue of the life to be we weave with colors all our own, and in the field of destiny we reap as we have sown.—Whittier. admirable philosopher, Epictetus, discovered that "happiness is not in strength, or wealth, or power; or all three. It lies in ourselves, in true freedom, in the conquest of every ignoble fear, in perfect self-government, in a power of contentment and peace, and the even flow of life, even in poverty, exile, disease and the very valley of the shadow."
What must of necessity be done you can always find out beyond question how to do.—Ruskin. One of the happiest observers of life and its higher purposes—Anne Gilchrist—says: "I used to think it was great to disregard happiness, to press to a high goal, careless, disdainful of it. But now I see there is nothing so great as to be capable of happiness,—to pluck it out of each moment, The doctrine of love, purity, and right living has, step by step, won its way into the hearts of mankind, and has filled the future with hope and promise.—William McKinley. and, whatever happens, to find that one can ride as gay and buoyant on the angry, menacing, tumultuous waves of life as on those that glide and glitter under a clear sky; that it is not defeat and wretchedness which comes out of the storms of adversity, but strength and calmness."
The strongest incentive for the cultivation of a merry heart is that it is a duty as well as a delight. Sydney Smith has very wisely observed that "mankind is always happier for having been 108 Since time is not a person we can overtake when he is past, let us honor him with mirth and cheerfulness of heart while he is passing.—Goethe. happy; so that if you make them happy now, you may make them happy twenty years hence by the memory of it."
True happiness has about it no suggestion of selfishness. The genuinely happy person is the one who would have all the world to be happy. "Is there any happiness in the world like the happiness of a disposition made happy by the happiness of others?" asks Faber. "There is no joy to be compared with it. The Every wish is a prayer with God.— Elizabeth Barrett Browning. luxuries which wealth can buy, the rewards which ambition can obtain, the pleasures of art and scenery, the abounding sense of health and the exquisite enjoyment of mental creations are nothing to this pure and heavenly happiness, where self is drowned in the blessings of others."
Say not always what you know, but always know what you say.—Claudius. One of the most heavenly attributes of happiness is that it begets more happiness not only in ourselves but in others about us. It has in it an uplift and a strength that enables us to build the stronger to-day against the distress that would beset us to-morrow.
"Health and happiness" are terms that are so often closely linked in our speech and in our literature. One is 109 Evil is wrought by want of thought, as well as want of heart.—Hood. almost a synonym for the other. Perhaps the true significance existing between the two would be more correctly stated were we to reverse the form in which they are usually set forth and say "happiness and health" instead. All observers of human nature and its many complex attributes are convinced that happiness is the Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.—Goldsmith. fountain spring of health.
One of our keenest students of life tells us that "small annoyances are the seeds of disease. We cannot afford to entertain them. They are the So use present pleasures that thou spoilest not future ones.—Seneca. bacteria,—the germs that make serious disturbance in the system, and prepare the way for all derangements. They furnish the mental conditions which are manifested later in the blood, the tissues, and the organs, under various pathological names. Good thoughts are the only germicide. We must kill our resentment and regret, impatience and anxiety. Health will inevitably follow. Every thought that holds us in even the slightest degree to either anticipation A good manner springs from a good heart, and fine manners are the outcome of unselfish kindness.—Margaret E. Sangster. or regret hinders, to some extent, the realization of our present good. It limits freedom. Life is in the present tense. Its significant name is Being." 110
Whether we are happy or not depends much on our point of view. The disposition to look at everything through kind and beautiful eyes makes all the world more kind and beautiful. If we are gloomy within the whole world appears likewise. Perhaps the two ways of looking at things could not be better set forth than in these clever lines by E. J. Hardy:
"How dismal you look!" said a bucket to his companion, as they were Reading and study are in no sense education, unless they may contribute to this end of making us feel kindly towards all creatures.—Ruskin. going to the well.
"Ah!" replied the other, "I was reflecting on the uselessness of our being filled, for, let us go away never so full, we always come back empty."
"Dear me! how strange to look on it that way!" said the other bucket; "now I enjoy the thought that however empty we come, we always go away full. Only look An hour in every day withdrawn from frivolous pursuits would, if properly employed, enable a person of ordinary capacity, to go far toward mastering a science.—Samuel Smiles. at it in that light and you will always be as cheerful as I am."
The difference between the pessimist and the optimist is in their
POINT OF VIEW
Because each rose must have its
thorn,
The pessimist Fate’s plan opposes;
The optimist, more gladly born,
Rejoices that the thorns have roses.
To live with a high ideal is a successful life. It is not what one does, but what one tries to do, that makes the soul strong and fit for noble career.—E. P. Tenney. Since our happiness is merely the reflex influence of the happiness we make for others it would seem as though the joy of our lives dwells within our own keeping. "The universe," says Zimmerman, "pays every man in his own coin; if you smile, it smiles upon you in return; if you frown, you will be frowned at; if He who loses money loses much; he who loses a friend loses more, but he who loses spirit loses all.—S. A. Nelson. you sing, you will be invited into gay company; if you think, you will be entertained by thinkers; if you love the world, and earnestly seek for the good therein, you will be surrounded by loving friends, and nature will pour into your lap the treasures of the earth."
If you tell the truth, you have infinite power supporting you; but if not, you have infinite power against you.— Charles G. Gordon. All of this being true we must early learn to seize upon opportunities for making others happy if we, ourselves, would get the most and highest enjoyment from life. "There are gates that swing within your life and mine," writes "Amber," that good woman of sainted memory, "letting in rare opportunities from day to day, that tarry but a moment and are gone, like travelers bound for points remote. There is the opportunity to resist the temptation to do a mean thing! Improve it, for it is in a hurry, like the man whose ticket is 112 Great hearts alone understand how much glory there is in being good. To be and keep so is not the gift of a happy nature alone, but it is strength and heroism.—Jules Michelet. bought and whose time is up. It won’t be back this way, either, for opportunities for good are not like tourists who travel on return tickets. There is the opportunity to say a pleasant word to the ones within the sound of your voice. All of the priceless opportunities travel by lightning express and have no time to idle around the waiting-room. If we improve them at all it must be We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not breaths.—Bailey. when the gate swings to let them through."
It is in living not for ourselves alone but for others that we are to find the larger and truer happiness of life. Says Jenkin Lloyd Jones, "I would rather Remember that everybody’s business in the social system is to be agreeable.—Dickens. live in an alley, stayed all round with human loves, associations and ambitions, than dwell in a palace with drawbridge, moat, and portcullis, apart from the community about me, alienated from my neighbors, unable to share the woes and the joys of those with whom I divide nature’s bounty of land and landscape, of air and sky." And along this same line of thinking, Charles Hargrove says: "Brother, sister, your mistake is to live alone in a crowded world, to think of yourself and your own belongings, and what is the matter with you, instead of 113 In the lexicon of youth there is no such word as fail.—Bulwer Lytton. trying to realize, what is the fact—that you are a member of a great human society, and that your true interests are one with those of the world which will go on much the same however it fare with you. Live the larger life, and you will find it the happier."
Be noble! and the nobleness that lies in other men, sleeping, but never dead, will rise in majesty to meet thine own.—Lowell. So one of the chief aims of your life and of mine should be to find happiness and to see to it that others find it as well. And let us not wait to find happiness in one great offering, but let us discover it whenever and wherever we can. Let us carefully study our surroundings to see if it is not hiding all about us. "Very few things," says Lecky, "contribute so much to the happiness of The cheerful live longest in years, and afterward in our regards.—Bovee. life as a constant realization of the blessings we enjoy. The difference between a naturally contented nature and a naturally discontented one is one of the marked differences of innate temperament, but we can do much to cultivate that habit of dwelling on the benefits of our lot which converts acquiescence into a more positive enjoyment."
Nothing can do more to add to our happiness of mind than to cultivate the gracious habit of being grateful for joys 114 How sweet and gracious, even in common speech, is that fine sense which men call Courtesy!—James T. Fields. that come to us and to seek to appreciate the worth of the beneficent gifts that are ever being showered upon us. We are so apt to fall into the habit of accepting blessings as a matter of course and of failing to discover their wonderful value. How many of us, for example, have ever thoughtfully dwelt upon Make each goal when reached, a starting point for further quest.—Browning. the priceless attributes of the air that is ever and always floating about us. In order that we may have a truer appreciation of its fine qualities and purposes let us read these words by Lord Avebury:
"Fresh air, how wonderful it is! It permeates all our body, it bathes the skin in a medium so delicate that we are not conscious of its presence, and yet The world is so full of a number of things, I’m sure we should all be as happy as kings.—Robert Louis Stevenson. so strong that it wafts the odors of flowers and fruit into our rooms, carries our ships over the seas, the purity of sea and mountain into the heart of our cities. It is the vehicle of sound, it brings to us the voices of those we love and the sweet music of nature; it is the great reservoir of the rain which waters the earth, it softens the heat of day and the cold of night, covers us overhead with a glorious arch of blue, and lights up the morning and evening skies with fire. It is so 115 God bless the good-natured, for they bless everybody else.—Beecher. exquisitely soft and pure, so gentle and yet so useful, that no wonder Ariel is the most delicate, lovable and fascinating of all Nature Spirits."
It is only when we open our eyes to the beauty of the wonders about us that we see how much there is to contribute to our happiness if we will but open our hearts and let it come in. What a perpetual exaltation nature will afford us If you are acquainted with Happiness, introduce him to your neighbor.—Phillips Brooks. when we have cultivated the fine habit of looking upon it with the welcoming eyes through which Richard Jefferies beholds it: "The whole time in the open air," he tells us, "resting at mid-day under the elms with the ripple of heat flowing through the shadow; at midnight between the ripe corn and the hawthorne hedge or the white camomile and the poppy pale in the duskiness, with face Nor love thy life, nor hate; but what thou liv’st, live well; how long or short, permit to heaven.—Milton. upturned to the thoughtful heaven. Consider the glory of it, the life above this life to be obtained from constant presence with the sunlight and the stars."
So let us cultivate the fine habit of finding joy and of shouting it to our friends and neighbors. Life seems bright to us when we are really glad of 116 The most wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.—Chamfort. anything and we let gladness have voice to express itself. George MacDonald says "a poet is a man who is glad of something and tries to make other people glad of it, too." In the possession of this kindly spirit, at least, we must all strive to be poets.
It is impossible to be just if one is not generous.—Joseph Roux. Emerson tells us that "there is one topic positively forbidden to all well-bred, to all rational mortals, namely, their distempers. If you have not slept, or if you have headache, or sciatica, or leprosy, or thunder stroke, I beseech you, by all the angels, to hold your peace, and not pollute the morning, to which all the housemates bring serene and pleasant thoughts, by corruption and groans."
The fine tonic effect of a bright, happy face smiling across the breakfast table is known to all the world. Better a feast of corn bread and a cheerful countenance than fruit cake and a sour temperament. People glorify all sorts of bravery, except the bravery they might show on behalf of their nearest neighbors.— George Eliot.
So I feel very sure that you, my dear young lady, for whom these lines are written, are never going to appear at the breakfast table with aught other than a bright cheery face and a pleasant word How active springs the mind that leaves the load of yesterday behind.—Pope. 117 for all about you. Some one has said that the first hour of the day is the critical one. Happy is the person who can wake with a song, or who can at least hold back the fears and the grumbles until a thought of gladness has established One of the most charming things in girlhood is serenity.—Margaret E. Sangster. itself as the keynote of the day.
"Assume a virtue, if you have it not," says Shakespeare. While as a rule it is deemed wrong to assume to possess any virtue that we do not possess, we may and no doubt should, at times, appear to be happy even though we may feel more like indulging in lamentations. To come to the breakfast table enumerating a Every generous nature desires to make the earning of an honest living but a means to the higher end of adding to the sum total of human goodness and human happiness.—Frances E. Willard. list of real or imaginary ailments is a most ill-advised thing to do. We should endeavor to forget our troubles and above all we should be slow to give voice to them so that thereby they will be multiplied in the minds of others. It has been truly said that most people who are unhappy are really miserable and bring their misery to others because they allow the failures and discomforts to speak the first word in their souls. For misery is voluble and the little discomforts will turn us into their continual mouthpieces if we will give them a 118 Attempt the end, and never stand in doubt; nothing’s so hard but search will find it out.— Richard Lovelace. chance. But the truly thoughtful and considerate person will have none of them. Instead of displaying the flag of distress and surrender, the wiser method is to pull our courage and determination together and don
THE BETTER ARMOR
If through
thick and through thinThere is only one way to get ready
for immortality, and that is to love this life and live it as bravely and
cheerfully and faithfully as we can.—Henry Van Dyke.
You are eager to win,
Don’t go shrouded in Fear and in Doubt,
But with Hope and with Truth
And the blue sky of Youth
Go through life with the sunny side out.
So let us determine that we will cultivate the happy habit; for indeed even happiness is largely a habit. "As he thinketh in his heart, so is he." If he thinks trouble, he is very likely to find it. If he thinks sickness, he is He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes books.—Benjamin Franklin. likely to be ill. If he thinks unkind things, he is quite sure to put them into the deeds of his daily life. The thought is the architect’s plans which the hands are likely to set about to build. To the one who thinks the weather is Anxiety never yet successfully bridged over any chasm.—Ruffini. bad, it is sure to be disagreeable. To the one who seeks to find something pleasant about it, it is certain to offer some happy phases. 119
How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees?—Shakespeare. We must all answer "yes" to this question asked by one of our fine writers on our social amenities: "Don’t you get awfully tired of people who are always croaking? A frog in a big, damp, malarial pond is expected to make all the fuss he can in protest of his surroundings. But a man! Destined for a crown, and born that he may be educated for the court of a king! Placed in an emerald world with a hither side of opaline shadow, and a fine dust of diamonds to set Duty determines destiny. Destiny which results from duty performed, may bring anxiety and perils, but never failure and dishonor.—William McKinley. it sparkling when winter days are flying; with ten million singing birds to make it musical, and twice ten million flowers to make it sweet; with countless stars to light it up with fiery splendor, and white, new moons to wrap it round with mystery; with other souls within it to love and make happy, and the hand of God to uphold it on its rushing way among the countless worlds that crowd its path; If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.—Emily Dickinson. what right has man to find fault with such a world? When the woodtick shall gain a hearing, as he complains that the grand old century oak is unfit to shelter him, or the bluebird be harkened to when he murmurs that the horizon is off color, and does not 120 match his wings, then, I think, it will be time for man to find fault with the appointments of the magnificent sphere in which he lives."
No book is worth anything which is not worth much; nor is it serviceable, until it has been read, and reread, and loved, and loved again.—Ruskin. Therefore let it be determined between us, right here and now, that come what may, we shall each of us endeavor to keep a merry heart and a pleasant face. As we love to see a happy expression on the faces of our parents, brothers, sisters and friends, so must they enjoy seeing a pleasant look overspreading our Wise, cultivated, genial conversation is the best flower of civilization.—Emerson. features. And with this good and kindly resolve in our minds it will never be difficult for us to decide whether we shall give to the good world about us the gladness or the gloom that is embodied in
SONG OR SIGH
If you were a bird and shut in a
cage,
Now what would you better do,—
Would you grieve your throat with a sorry note
And mourn the whole day through;
Or would you swing and chirp and sing,
Though the world were warped with wrong,
Till you filled one place with the perfect grace
And gladness of your song?
It is so easy
to perceive other people’s little absurdities, and so difficult to
discover our own.— Ellen
Thornycroft Fowler. If you were a man and shut in a world,
Now what would you better do,—
On a gloomy day, when skies were gray,
Would you be gloomy, too?
When crossed with care would you let despair
Life’s happy hope destroy,
Or with a smile work on the while
You found the path to joy?
CHAPTER VII
GOLDEN HABITS
We often hear I think that there is success in all honest endeavor, and that there is some victory gained in every gallant struggle that is made.—Dickens. persons speaking of "the force of habit" as though it were something to be regretted. "Habit is second nature," is a saying that is included among the classic epigrams of men. That habits do become very strong, all the world has learned, sometimes to its sorrow and sometimes to its advantage and delight.
For be it known that good habits are just as strong as bad habits and in that Every noble work is at first impossible.—Carlyle. we should all feel a common joy and a sense of deliverance from wrong doing.
The fact that a fixed habit is only a matter of long and gradual growth ought Truth is a strong thing, let man’s life be true.—Browning. to be very much to our advantage. This very fundamental principle of their construction should result in giving us very many more good habits than bad habits. This happy conclusion is based on the supposition that while many of 126 Efforts to be permanently useful must be uniformly joyous—a spirit all sunshine, graceful from very gladness, beautiful because bright.—Carlyle. us are so constituted that it is possible we might, in some unguarded moment, do a wrong act, it is unlikely we could repeat the error so often and so long as to make the questionable action become a fixed habit.
The doing of a wrong thing should result in convincing us, on sober second Pass no day idly; youth does not return.—Chinese Proverb. thought, that it was a mistake on our part to have permitted ourselves to have been led into uncertain, unhappy paths and we would then and there reinforce our moral strength and our determination that the wrong should not occur again.
In doing right things, the conditions are quite reversed. Every good deed inspires us to still greater determination to do more of the same kind. Wrong If, instead of a gem, or even a flower, we could cast the gift of a lovely thought into the heart of a friend, that would be giving as the angels must give.—George MacDonald. deeds are, in most cases, committed in a moment of thoughtlessness when one’s conscience, one’s higher and better self, is momentarily off guard. Our good acts are performed with a full and proud realization of what we are doing and are followed by a grateful sense of retrospective pleasure, after they have been done.
"Could the young," says Henry 127 Nothing can constitute good breeding that has not good manners for its foundation.—Bulwer Lytton. James, "but realize how soon they will become mere walking bundles of habits, they would give more heed to their conduct while in the plastic state. Nothing we ever do is, in strict scientific literateness, wiped out." One of our latter day philosophers tells us that "happiness is a matter of habit; and you had better gather it fresh every day or you will never get it at all."
In speaking of the success he had achieved in life, Charles Dickens said: "I have been very fortunate in worldly matters; many men have worked much harder The common earth is common only to those who are deaf to the voices and blind to the visions which wait on it and make its flight a music and its path a light.—H. W. Mabie. and not succeeded half so well; but I never could have done what I have done, without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one object at a time, no matter how quickly its successor should come upon its heels."
When we come to study carefully the full meaning of the word "habit" we find it to be a very comprehensive term. In the sense in which it is here employed The truest lives are those that are cut rose-diamond-fashion, with many facets answering to the many-planed aspects of the world about them.—Oliver Wendell Holmes. the dictionary defines it as being "a tendency or inclination toward an action or condition, which by repetition has become easy, spontaneous or even 128 unconscious." From this definition it is easy to deduce the conclusion that one’s habits are in fact one’s manners, one’s principles, one’s mode of conduct; and a careful consideration of the theme finally brings one to a clear realization of the secret of
TRUE GENTILITY
One cannot from the world
conceal
The current of his thought;
It seems to me there is no maxim for a noble life like
this: Count always your highest moments your truest moments.—Phillips Brooks. A word or action will
reveal
The thing his brain hath wrought.
True goodness from within must
come
And deeds, to be refined,
Their outer grace must borrow from
Politeness of the mind.
Our manners are ourselves. They constitute our personality and it is by our We only begin to realize the value of our possessions when we commence to do good to others with them.— Joseph Cook. personality that we are judged. If that is frank and pleasant and agreeable we shall not lack for friends.
A person may be deficient in the charm of form or face but if the manners are Believe me, girls, on the road of life you and I will find few things more worth while than comradeship.—Margaret E. Sangster. perfect they will call forth admiration as nothing else could do.
Our thoughts are the essential and impressive part of ourselves. "It is the 129 spirit that maketh alive. The flesh profiteth nothing." We are told by Swedenborg that "every volition and thought of man is inscribed on his brain, Do noble things, not dream them, all day long, and so make life, death, and the vast forever, one grand, sweet song.—Charles Kingsley. for volition and thoughts have their beginnings in the brain, whence they are conveyed to the bodily members, wherein they terminate. Whatever, therefore, is in the mind is in the brain, and from the brain in the body, according to the order of its parts. Thus a man writes his life in his physique, and thus the angels discover his autobiography in his structure."
And to get peace, if you do want it, make for yourself nests of pleasant thoughts.—Ruskin. Since good habits and pleasing manners are such important aids in the making of character and personality we should leave nothing undone to strengthen the better side of our lives. And since we all are constantly being acted upon by When one is so dedicated to his mission, so full of a great purpose that he has no thought for self, his life is one of unalloyed joy—the joy of self-sacrifice.—Lyman Abbott. suggestion we should invite to our assistance anything that will tend to keep us in the most exemplary frame of mind.
In addition to the spoken word of admonition from parents, teachers, and others honestly interested in our welfare we should reinforce our good resolves by reading good books and in framing 130 Morality is conformity to the highest standard of right and virtuous action, with the best intention founded on principle.—A. E. Winship. for our own benefit a code of rules for our better conduct.
It is considered to be a good plan to select a number of suitable quotations and display them in some manner where the eye must see them with frequency. A calendar with a daily quotation admirably serves this purpose. Oftentimes when a good thought is put into the mind in the early morning it tends to direct the To have a friend is to have one of the sweetest gifts that life can bring; to be a friend is to have a solemn and tender education of soul from day to day.—Anna Robertson Brown. course of our thinking throughout the day. The following quotations are offered only as suggestions. They can be added to indefinitely:
A man’s own good breeding is the best security against other people’s ill manners.—Chesterfield.
Good breeding shows itself most when to an ordinary eye it appears the When it comes to doing a thing in this world, I don’t ask myself whether I like it or not, but, what’s the best way to get it done.—Ellen Glasgow. least.—Addison.
Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest people uneasy is the best bred in the company.—Swift.
Hail! ye small, sweet courtesies of life, for smooth do you make the road of it.—Sterne.
Civility costs nothing and buys everything.—Lady Montague.Do you ask to be the companion of nobles? Make yourself noble, and you shall be. Do you long for the conversation of the wise? Learn to understand it, and you shall hear it.—Ruskin.
Evil communications corrupt good manners.—Bible.
No pleasure is comparable to standing on the vantage ground of truth.—Lord Bacon.
They are never alone that are accompanied with noble thoughts.—Sidney.
Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt.—New Testament.
Sweet mercy is nobility’s true badge.—Shakespeare.There is no cosmetic for homely folks like character. Even the plainest face becomes beautiful in noble and radiant moods.—Newell Dwight Hillis.
Honest labor bears a lovely face.—Dekker.
The gods give nothing really beautiful without labor and diligence.—Xenophon.
The key to pleasure is honest work. All dishes taste good with that sauce.—H. R. Haweis.
Work is as necessary for peace of mind as for health of body.—Lord Avebury.
A single gentle rain makes the grass many shades greener. So our prospects brighten on the influx of better thoughts.—Thoreau. Sir John Lubbock has said: "I cannot, however, but think that the world would be better and brighter if our teachers would dwell on the duty of Happiness, as well as the happiness of Duty, for we 132 ought to be as cheerful as we can, if only because to be happy ourselves is the most effectual contribution to the happiness of A good book is the precious life-blood of a master spirit embalmed and treasured up on purpose to a life beyond life.—Milton.others."
Surely we cannot include among good habits the habit of making those about us unhappy. Hence it is that they who are careless of the state of mind into which Happiness is the natural flower of duty.—Phillips Brooks. they throw those about them are not good mannered. While it is but simple kindness to allow our friends to sympathize in the great griefs that may overtake us, it is not kindness for us to be forever stirring them with all the real or fancied ills with which we can regale them. Either extreme is more or By wisdom wealth is won; but riches purchased wisdom yet for none.—Bayard Taylor. less absurd and unwarranted. Perhaps, as a rule, we thrust our troubles quite too willingly upon others. On the other hand, some of the peoples of the Orient we deem to be so ludicrously polite in matters of this nature as to almost arouse our mirth.
It is surely better to pardon too much than to condemn too much.—George Eliot. An English writer in speaking of the Japanese says: "There must really have been a double portion of politeness bestowed upon these people who in the deepest domestic grief would smile and smile, so that a guest in the home might 133 not be burdened with their sorrow. The habit is in striking contrast with the weeping and wailing, the mourning streamers, the hatbands, plumes, palls, black To be a strong hand in the dark to another in the time of need, to be a cup of strength to a human soul in a crisis of weakness, is to know the glory of life.—Hugh Black. chargers, and funeral hearses with which we struggle to stir the envy, if not the hearts of all beholders!"
In Japan, so we are told, manners are included in the public teaching of morality. Among our western peoples our public school boys would deem it strange It is not the result of our acts that makes them brave and noble, but the acts themselves and the unselfish love that moved us to do them.—R. L. Stevenson. if a master gave them an hour’s instruction in the correct manner of behaving toward their father and mother or sisters. Yet such knowledge might be urgently needed and do good here as it does in Japan where it is counted the most vital instruction of all. Step by step the Japanese child is led along the course of behavior, learning how to stand up, sit down, bow, hang up its hat, and how to think of its parents, brothers and sisters, and of its country. Later on these lessons are repeated with illustrations from short stories, and still later by incidents from actual history and the lives of great men of all Use thy youth so that thou mayest have comfort to remember it when it hath forsaken thee.—Walter Raleigh. countries. Before the end of the course of instruction is reached all manner of virtues and 134 points of behavior have been introduced, such as patriotism, cleanliness, and (especially in the case of girls) the proper way of advancing and retiring, offering and accepting things, sleeping and eating, visiting, congratulating and condoling, mourning and holding public meetings. So the school course continues It is easy to condemn; it is better to pity.—Abbott. from year to year, the elementary school course lasting four years and the secondary course four years more, and leading the boys and girls up to the study of benevolence, their duty to ancestors, to other people’s property, other people’s honor, other people’s freedom, and, finally, to self-discipline, modesty, dignity, dress, labor, the treatment of animals, and the due relations of men and women, both of whom are to be regarded equally as "lords" of creation. From end to end of the long course of training, behavior rather than knowledge is insisted upon, even down to the tiniest detail of what our good great-grandmothers valued as deportment.
To such scrupulous deportment and close attention to minuteness of habit, If you don’t scale the mountain, you can’t view the plain.—Chinese Proverb. some objection can be raised, perhaps. "Some men’s behavior," said Bacon, "is like a verse wherein every syllable is measured," and he warned us that manners must be like apparel, "not too strait or point-device, but free for exercise or 135 For him who aspires, and for him who loves his fellow-beings, life may lead through the thorns, but it never stops in the desert.—Anonymous. motion." However, it is better to err on the side of too much attention to our manners rather than to be thought careless of our persons and our behavior.
Civilized peoples cannot help but be concerned with manners, refinement, good Be cheerful; wipe thine eyes; some falls are means the happier to arise.—William Shakespeare. breeding, and in a more minute sense, with the forms of etiquette. It is these things that distinguish civilization from savagery, and so unmistakably lift the cultured person above the one who does not see fit to cultivate the grace of gentility.
It has been truly said that we judge our neighbors severely by the breach of Be resolutely and faithfully what you are, be humbly what you aspire to be.—Thoreau. written or traditional laws, and choose our society, and even our friends, by the touchstone of courtesy. It is not an uncommon occurrence for a girl or a boy to win an advantageous position in life, not by superior mental or physical endowments but by a graciousness of manners that have smoothed for them the ways that lead to success.
For some quite unwarranted reason 136 If people only knew their own brothers and sisters, the Kingdom of Heaven would not be far off.—George MacDonald. society seems to have taken the position that we have a right to expect more from our girls than from our boys in the matter of good manners. This, however, is not the view held by those who know the true meaning of good breeding. The The shadows of our own desires stand between us and our better angel.—Dickens. demand that every boy shall be a gentleman is as firm and binding as is that which says that every girl must be a gentle woman and a thorough lady.
Every girl knows what is expected of her. Her parents, brothers, sisters, If every day we can feel, if only for a moment, the realization of being our best selves, you may be sure that we are succeeding.—Bliss Carman. teachers, society and the world intend that she shall be good and gentle and gracious. They will be satisfied with nothing short of all that and it will be well for every girl to learn early in life to pursue only the paths that will lead into ways wherein these qualities of person and character may be found. So here and now it is timely to ask of the readers of these lines—
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
What are you going to do,
girls,
With the years that are hurrying on?
Do you mean to begin life’s purpose to win
In the freshness and strength of the dawn?
The builders who build in the
morning,If you know how to spend less than you get, you
have the philosopher’s stone.—Benjamin Franklin.
At even may joyfully rest,
Their victories won, as they watch the glad sun
Sink down in the beautiful west.
What are you going to do,
girls,
With time as it ceaselessly flows?
Are you molding a heart that will pleasures impart
As perfume exhales from the rose?
Let all that is purest and
grandest
In duty’s fair wreath be entwined;
There is no other grace can illumine the face
Like the charm of a beautiful mind.
He only is advancing in life, whose heart is getting softer, whose blood warmer, whose brain quicker, whose spirit is entering into living peace.—Ruskin. A student of the subject of ethics must understand that the true spirit of good manners is very closely allied to that of good morals. It has been pointed out that no stronger proof of this assertion is required than the fact that the Messiah himself, in his great moral teachings, so frequently touches upon the The fine art of living, indeed, is to draw from each person his best.—Lilian Whiting. subject of manners. He teaches that modesty is the true spirit of good behavior, and openly rebukes the forward manner of His followers in taking the upper seats at the banquet and the highest seats in the synagogues.
The philosophers whose names are recorded in history, although they were, 138 Reflect upon your present blessings—of which every man has many—not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.—Dickens. themselves, seldom distinguished for fine manners, did not fail to teach the importance of them to others. Socrates and Aristotle have left behind them a code of ethics that might easily be turned into a "Guide to the Complete Gentleman;" and Lord Bacon has written an essay on manners in which he reminds If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs—is more elastic, more starry, more immortal—that is your success.—Thoreau. us that a stone must be of very high value to do without a setting.
The motive in cultivating good manners should not be shallow and superficial. Lord Chesterfield says that the motive that makes one wish to be polite is a desire to shine among his fellows and to raise one’s self into a society supposed to be better than his own. It is unnecessary to state that Lord Chesterfield’s good manners, fine as they appear, do not bear the true Blessings ever wait on virtuous deeds.—Congreve. stamp of genuineness. There is not the living person back of them possessing heart and character. They seem to him, in a measure, what a fine gown does to the wax figure in the dressmaker’s window. True manners mean more than The microscope gives us a world, a universe, a single drop of dew. So also there is a world in a single profound, earnest meditation.—Madame Swetchine. mannerisms. They cannot be taught entirely from a book in which there are sets of rules to be observed on any and every occasion. They 139 are rather a cultivated method of thinking and feeling and the forming of a character that knows, intuitively, the nice and kind and appropriate thing to do without reference to what a printed rule of conduct may set forth.
Better is it to have a small portion of good sense, with humility and a slender understanding, than great treasures of science, with vain self-complacency.—Thomas à Kempis. It is generally agreed that our best and only right motive in the cultivation of good manners should be to make ourselves better than we otherwise would be, to render ourselves agreeable to every one whom we may meet, and to improve, it may be, the society in which we are placed. With these objects in view, it is plainly as much a moral duty to cultivate one’s manners as it is to cultivate one’s mind, and no one can deny that we are better citizens when we observe the nicer amenities of society than we are when we pay no heed to them.
Lord Bacon says: "Many examples may be put of the force of custom, both upon There is one road to peace and that is truth.—Shelley. mind and body. Therefore, since custom is the principle magistrate of man’s life, let men by all means endeavor to obtain good customs. Certainly custom is most perfect when it beginneth in young years; this we call education, which is, in effect, but an early custom." 140
He hath from his childhood conversed with books and bookmen; and always being where the frankincense of the temple was offered, there must be some perfume remaining about him.—Thomas Fuller. So we see that our true characters are but the expression of our habits and of our manners. And we see that only those habits that are formed in the early years of life seem to fit us perfectly and naturally throughout all the years.
It is an old saying and a homely one, but none the less true, that "it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks." So it is hard to acquire in later life the manners and graces that escape us in youth.
Fortunate is the young girl who finds her lot is cast among the good Everything great is not always good, but all good things are great.—Demosthenes. influences of a cultured home. She has at hand the material from which to select all that she may need to build the fine character the world shall observe and admire. Such felicitous surroundings should teach her, first of all, to be very charitable and lenient toward others whose early years are lived among less The turmoil of the world will always die, if we set our faces to climb heavenward.—Hawthorne. advantageous surroundings. For if her culture does not in some ways influence and soften and modify her heart as well as her mind, its true purpose has been lost.
Those whose earlier years are spent amid surroundings not so favorable for the forming of golden habits, must strive all the harder for the prize of gentility 141 If I can put one touch of a rosy sunset into the life of any man or woman, I shall feel that I have worked with God.—George MacDonald. which they would obtain. And in this very struggle against adverse circumstances will be engendered a strength and a spirit of self-reliance that will be likely to prove a worthy equivalent for the loss of a more kindly and propitious environment.
It is experience that develops character, and character is the one thing that distinguishes a life and makes it a definite and individual thing of supreme beauty. Our business in life is not to get ahead of other people but to get ahead of ourselves.—Maltbie D. Babcock.
The character that is the most laboriously built is the most enduring. Golden habits that have been hammered out of our life experiences are to be implicitly relied upon. They have been tested at every point. They have been shaped out of the very necessity of one’s surroundings. They are worth every effort that The narrow kingdom of to-day is better worth ruling over than the widest past or future.—Edith Wharton. they have cost. The world will never know how much of its integrity, how much of its stability, how much of its beauty it owes to that which we are all so prone to call
DRUDGERY
Dull drudgery, "gray angel of
success;"There’s always a bloom on the world
if one looks.—Abby M.
Roach.
Enduring purpose, waiting long and long,
Headache or heartache, blent with
sigh or song,
Forever delving mid the strife and stress:
Within the bleak confines of your duress
Are laid the firm foundations, deep and strong,
Whereon men build the right against the
wrong,—
The toil-wrought monuments that lift and bless.
The coral reefs; the bee’s
o’erflowing cells;The reward of one duty is the
power to fulfill another.—George
Eliot.
The Pyramids; all things that shall endure;
The books on books wherein all wisdom dwells,
Are wrought with plodding patience, slow and
sure.
Yours the time-tempered fashioning that spells
Of chaos, order, perfect and secure.
CHAPTER VIII
THE PURPOSE OF LIFE
He who works for sweetness and light works to make reason and the will of God prevail.—Matthew Arnold. "Nothing succeeds like success."
Perhaps the true meaning of this old French proverb is that once we have a measure of success we are the more likely to achieve still more victories. The discovery that our strength, perseverance and determination have been capable of bending circumstances to our will and bringing to fulfillment the end for which Let us ever glory in something, and strive to retain our admiration for all that would ennoble, and our interest in all that would enrich and beautify our life.—Phillips Brooks. we have wished and worked, gives us renewed courage and inspiration for the undertaking of new and larger duties.
We learn to do by doing. Achievement leads to still greater achievement. Orison Swett Marden, one of the world’s wisest of observers and deepest of philosophers, says, "The world makes way for the determined man." And so it does 146 Nothing of worth or weight can be achieved with half a mind, with a faint heart, and with a lame endeavor.—Barrow. for the determined woman, or the determined girl or boy.
Regarding this thing called "Success," too many of us are apt to think that it means some one, isolated, remarkable achievement, that comes at the end of a Good manners are part of good morals.—Whately. long period of striving in some particular field of endeavor. This is not entirely true. Every great success is made of very many lesser successes that have preceded it. Just as the cap-stone at the top of the tallest building is held in its lofty position by every stone beneath it even down to the ones deep in the earth at the very foundation of the structure, which are indeed perhaps After all, the kind of world one carries about within one’s self is the important thing, and the world outside takes all its grace, color and value from that.—Lowell. the most important of all.
So the thing which the world is pleased to call "Success" is built up by a thousand little successes on which it must finally rest. The building of a life success begins with the earliest dawn of being and must be carried on with as much care as a mason would give to the laying of the walls of a structure designed to stand for years. The mason knows that if he does not lay his In character, in manner, in style, in all things the supreme excellence is simplicity.—Longfellow. foundations deep and firm, that if the walls are not kept straight and plumb, that if he 147 puts faulty bricks or stones in the walls, the building will not be a success. The work at every stage must be a success or the completed structure must be a failure.
So it is in life. If our moments are not successful, the hours can never be so, and the days and years can but enlarge upon and emphasize their failure. "Every day is a fresh beginning, every morn is a world made new," says Susan Coolidge. There is a chance for attaining success every hour and day of our lives.
Success is not alone for the great men of the world who find new continents, The small courtesies sweeten life; the greater ennoble it.—Bovee. explore the poles, navigate the air, write great poems, paint great pictures, or who amass fortunes of millions of dollars. No, success is for any and all of us, here and now, any and all the time.
Were you prepared in your studies at school to-day? If you were, that was Never mind if you cannot do all things just as well as you would like to. It is only necessary to do things just as well as you can.—Patrick Flynn. success.
Have you your music lesson well in hand for this afternoon? If so, that means success.
Have you been kind to everybody to-day, and with a pleasant word and a 148 willing hand, done all you could to make life pleasanter and happier for those about you? If so, that is a fine moral success. And if you will multiply the Not so much beautiful features as a beautiful soul can make a beautiful face.—Margaret E. Sangster. achievements of to-day by the days that are in the years before you, you can see the result that you have a reason to expect, as your life’s work.
Success means doing all that we can do as well as we can do it. It may be There is a marvelous power in a well-defined individuality.—Joe Mitchell Chapple. work or it may be play. It may be something of seemingly little account or it may be something of importance, but unless we do it well, and to the best of our ability it will not be a success.
"Every day," says Bunsen, "ought to be begun as a serious work, standing alone in itself, and yet connected with the past and the future." And Ruskin still further emphasizes this thought in the words: "Let every dawn of morning be to you as the beginning of life, and every setting sun be to you as its close; then let every one of these short lives leave its sure record of some Resolution always gives us courage.— A. E. Winship. kindly thing done for others."
We begin to achieve success when we do the things that are necessary for such achievement. Huxley expressed the 149 Of all fruitless errands, sending a tear to look after a day that has gone is the most fruitless.—Dickens. whole secret of the matter when he said: "Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, as it ought to be done, whether you like to do it or not."
A good life, which is but another name for success, does not come You can never be wise unless you love reading.—Johnson. by accident. Fortune may seem to favor it but it is the disposition to seize upon the opportunities that present themselves that make some lives seem more blest with "good chances" than others.
Self cultivation is the secret of most all attainments in the realm of human endeavor. As a matter of fact, all that others can do for us is as nothing to The perfecting of one’s self is the fundamental base of all progress and all moral development.—Confucius. that which we may do for ourselves. Persons who do things usually have to work for results, or they have at some time had to work to acquire the habits that later on make it seem so easy for them to do fine things. "We think," says J. C. Van Dyke, "because the completed work looks easy or reads easy, that it must have been done easily. But the geniuses of the world have all put upon record their conviction that there is more virtue in perspiration than in inspiration. The 150 Nothing can be beautiful which is not true.—Ruskin. great poets, whether in print or in paint, have spent their weeks and months—yes, years—composing, adjusting, putting in and taking out. They have known what it is to ’lick things into shape,’ to labor and be baffled, to despair and to hope anew."
With the dawning of every morning, life comes bringing to us a new and It is not a lucky word, this same impossible; no good comes to those who have it so often in their mouth.—Carlyle. wonderful day to employ it as we will. Shall it be a fine, gratifying success, or shall it be a failure? Shall it be part success and part failure? There can be no doubt about it being a matter that is very largely in our own keeping.
MORNING GATES
Each golden dawn presents two
gates
That open to the day;
Through one a path of joy awaits,
I wasted time, and now time doth waste
me.—Shakespeare.
Through one a weary way.
Choose well, for by that choice is willed
If ye shall be distressed
At eventide, or richly filled
With strength and peace and rest.
"Every true life," says J. R. Miller, "should be a perpetual climbing upward. We should put our faults under our feet, and make them steps on which to lift ourselves daily a little higher.... We never 151 Youth, all possibilities are in its hands.—Longfellow. in this world get to a point where we may regard ourselves as having reached life’s goal, as having attained the loftiest height within our reach; Thought is deeper than all speech.— Cranch. there are always other rounds of the ladder to climb."
So we know that the purpose of life is not to make a failure of it. And we know that we cannot make it a success unless we work toward that end. "The first People influence us who have no business to do it, simply because we have neglected to train ourselves to attend to our own affairs.—A. E. Winship. great rule is, we must do something—that life must have a purpose and an aim—that work should be not merely occasional and spasmodic, but steady and continuous," says Lecky. "Pleasure is a jewel which will retain its luster only when it is in a setting of work, and a vacant life is one of the worst of pains, though the islands of leisure that stud a crowded, well-occupied life may be among the things to which we look back with the greatest delight."
There can be no interest where there is no purpose. How tiresome it would As the heart, so is the life. The within is ceaselessly becoming the without.—James Allen. very soon become if we were compelled to make idle, useless marks upon paper, without any design whatsoever. But to be able to draw pictures is a delight that no one can forego. "The most pitiable 152 life is the aimless life," says Jenkin Lloyd Jones. "Heaven help the man or woman, the boy or girl, who is not interested in anything outside of his or her own immediate comfort and that related thereto, who eats bread to make strength I have faith in the people.—Abraham Lincoln. for no special cause, who pursues science, reads poetry, studies books, for no earthly or heavenly purpose than mere enjoyment or acquisition; who goes on accumulating wealth, piling up money, with no definite or absorbing purpose to apply it to anything in particular."
Perhaps we expect to-day, more than men have at any other time in the Of all the propensities which teach mankind to torment themselves, that of causeless fear is the most irritating, busy, painful and pitiable.—Walter Scott. world’s history, that girls as well as boys, must look forward to doing something definite in life. It is not deemed sufficient for anyone simply "to be." The whole world is now living the verb "to do." The grace, strength, beauty and worth of womanhood is being enhanced with the constantly enlarging sphere of women’s work. The primitive, almost heathen, notion that the feminine sex constituted a handicap in the achieving of great success in a great majority of the fields of human endeavor is 153 He who cannot smile ought not to keep a shop.—Chinese Proverb. rapidly fading away. It can no longer stand in the light of the brilliant achievements women are making everywhere. Indeed, men are becoming well convinced that their presumed supremacy in many of the world’s spheres of Common sense bows to the inevitable and makes use of it.—Wendell Phillips. work is being successfully challenged at every point. So general is this experience becoming that the present status of things might well be set forth somewhat after the following style:
MAN, POOR MAN!
The question used to be, ’t is
true,
"What tasks are there for girls to do?"
But now we’ve reached an epoch when
We ask: "What is there left for men?"
They’ll keep enlarging
"woman’s sphere"
Till man, poor, shrinking man, we fear,
Must If you wish success in life, make perseverance your
bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and
hope your guardian genius.—Addison. grow quite useless, after
while,
And go completely out of style.
This piece of frivolity can well be pardoned on account of its absurdity. The great work of the world is so broad, so deep, so high, that it calls for the best endeavors of all girls and boys, women and men. That the door of opportunity is henceforth to be open to all is an assurance that the work is to be more grandly 154 Self-distrust is the cause of most of our failures.—Bovee. and beautifully done than ever before. What women may do in the years to come is wonderfully set forth by what women have done in the past. All history is filled with the splendid achievements of the women of the world. A girl of to-day will find It is generally the idle who complain they cannot find time to do that which they fancy they wish.—Lubbock.no reading more helpful and inspiring than the lives of such noble women as Martha Washington, Queen Victoria, Sally Bush—Abraham Lincoln’s good step-mother—Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe, Miss Louisa Alcott, Laura Bridgman, Charlotte Cushman, Maria Mitchell, Lady Franklin, What ardently we wish we soon believe.—Young. Mrs. Julia Ward Howe, and Florence Nightingale.
If the girls of to-day are to have larger rewards in the world’s work, they must fit themselves for the larger responsibilities. Every prudent girl will, of course, talk over the prospect of her future years with her parents, her brothers and sisters, her teachers, or with mature and responsible friends. So very, very much depends on laying the right foundations. But there are many qualities that must constitute parts of every enduring foundation. 155
Attention, application, accuracy, method, punctuality, good behavior, Nature never stands still, nor souls neither; they ever go up or go down.—Julia C. R. Dorr. modesty, gentility, enlightenment, all of these and more are essential to success and for the highest achievement of the true purpose of living.
It has been well said that it is the repetition of little acts which constitutes not only the sum of human character, but which determines the character of nations; and where men or nations have broken down, it will almost invariably be found that neglect of little things was the rock on which they were wrecked.
Every human being has duties to be performed, and, therefore, has need of Thought alone is eternal.—Owen Meredith. cultivating the capacity for doing them—whether the sphere of action be the management of a household, the conduct of a trade or a profession, or the government of a nation.
Only those live who do good.— Tolstoi. The one fixed truth in the matter of character-building is the fact that steady attention to the little matters of detail lies at the very foundation of human progress.
The splendid trees that lift their branches heavenward depend for their sustenance on the tiny thread-like roots 156 The greatest truths are the simplest.—Hare. that come into very close relations with the soil and can thus take in the nourishment needed for the making of growth. This, the larger roots have not the capacity for doing. So in the growth of the human intellect and human character, it is the little actions, day by day, that really do the permanent building. With patient purpose to do successfully the many little tasks that confront us we can later on achieve the larger success awaiting us.
Many people owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties.—Spurgeon. The world’s history is full of the triumphs of those who have had to struggle from beginning to end for recognition. Carey, the great missionary, began life as a shoemaker; the chemist Vanquelin was the son of a peasant; the poet Burns was a farmer boy and a day laborer; Ben Jonson was a bricklayer; Livingstone, the traveler and explorer, was a weaver; Abraham Lincoln was a "rail-splitter" and a farmer boy.
Thought by thought piled, till some great truth is loosened.—Shelley. At the plow, on the bench, at the loom, these men dreamed of the future greatness, and step by step, day by day, they persevered until they won the full measure of success.
The great and good women of the 157 The child’s reasoning powers are, as it were, the wings with which he will eventually have to fly.—Landon. world have won their distinction in the same manner. They cultivated the sterling qualities that made for success. They acquired the manners that attracted toward them help and strength of others interested in good causes and those struggling to advance them.
Choose always the way that seems the best, however rough it may be. Custom will render it easy and agreeable.— Pythagoras. And the girl who is reading these lines, can, if she will, make her life a happy success. She may be praised by the world or it may be by the small circle of friends with whom she comes in contact. Her name may never be written in history but it may be fondly spoken by parents, sisters, brothers, schoolmates, Recollection is the only paradise from which we cannot be turned out.—Richter. friends. In a thousand gracious ways she can make the hours, days and years good and golden for her own precious self and for all who know her. She must be thoughtful and intelligently alert to the opportunities lying all about her ready to be fashioned into shining deeds. She must know that she is a precious craft on the sea of life and that she must not be permitted to drift from the harbor of youth and of home without a life pilot. And this pilot should be her Memory is the treasure-house of the mind.—Fuller. own conscience, hedged about with the learning, the good breeding, 158 the fine character that she herself, under proper guidance, must cultivate through the impressionable years of childhood and maidenhood. If she so wills it, beauty and grace and true worth are all hers. And let her greet and go forth in the freshness of each golden day, as indeed, she must greet life, itself, with a glad, hopeful, helpful
MORNING PRAYER
Habit is an
internal principle which leads us to do easily, naturally, and with growing
certainty, what we do often.—Webster.Oh, may I be strong and brave,
to-day,
And may I be kind and true,
And greet all men in a gracious way,
With frank good cheer in the things I say,
And love in the deeds I do.
May the simple heart of a child be
mine,
And the grace of a rose in bloom;
Let me fill the day with a hope divine
And turn my face to the sky’s glad shine,
With never a cloud of gloom.
With the golden levers of love and
light
The vision that you glorify in your mind, the Ideal that
you enthrone in your heart—this you will build your life by, this you
will become.—James
Allen. I would lift the world, and
when,
Through a path with kindly deeds made bright,
I come to the calm of the starlit night,
Let me rest in peace. Amen.
By MARGARET E. SANGSTER
HAPPY SCHOOL DAYS
A Book for Girls
In this book, Mrs. Sangster, the popular friend of all girls, writes to them charmingly and sympathetically of the things nearest to their hearts. The book will delight every girl.
It ought to reach the hands of every girl.—St. Paul Pioneer Press.
The book is as fascinating as a story.—Des Moines Register and Leader.
Every girl’s mother ought to make her a present of this book.—St. Louis Times.
Youthful and adult readers alike will enjoy and commend this book.—Chicago Record-Herald.
Chatty and with many a merry anecdote the book is as beguiling as a romance.—San Francisco Chronicle.
A charming book pervaded with the spirit of sweet friendliness, complete comprehension and joyous helpfulness.—Chicago News.
An interesting, suggestive, sensible book, in which Mrs. Sangster is at her best. It is a book of great worth, and whoever extends its usefulness by increasing its readers is a public benefactor.—Journal of Education, Boston.
Handsome cover. Cloth, 12mo. $1.00
FORBES &
COMPANY
PUBLISHERS CHICAGO
By NIXON WATERMAN
"BOY WANTED"
A book of jolly, sparkling, invigorating counsel, in prose and verse, that any girl or boy will read with interest. It will also please their parents and teachers.
Should be read by all boys, and girls, too.—Detroit News.
"Boy Wanted" is an unusual achievement.—San Francisco Call.
It is clever, cheery and full of sound ideas.—Chicago Record-Herald.
Its message is earnest and thrilling. Full of inspiration and encouragement.—Pittsburg Gazette.
A very bright and stimulating book on making the most of opportunities.—Montreal Daily Witness.
Strongly written. A good book to place in the hands of any boy of any age up to eighty.—Denver Republican.
It is the talk of a big brother to a younger one on a tramp off together. A mine of condensed inspiration.—Boston Advertiser.
The book is beautifully made. It is handsomely bound and illustrated and has some novel typographical features.—Boston Globe.
Illustrated. Attractive Cover. Cloth, 8vo. $1.00
FORBES &
COMPANY
PUBLISHERS CHICAGO