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Title: The Wise and Ingenious Companion, French and English; Author: Abel Boyer Release date: April 7, 2017 [eBook #54498] Language: English, French Credits: Produced by Turgut Dincer, RichardW, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive) *** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WISE AND INGENIOUS COMPANION, FRENCH AND ENGLISH; *** Produced by Turgut Dincer, RichardW, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive) The Wise and Ingenious COMPANION, _FRENCH_ and _ENGLISH_: OR, A COLLECTION OF THE WIT, OF THE Illustrious PERSONS, BOTH Ancient and Modern: CONTAINING Their wise Sayings, noble Sentiments, witty Repartees, Jests and pleasant Stories. CALCULATED For the Improvement and Pleasure of the _English_ and _Foreigners_. By Mr. _Boyer_, Author of the Royal Dictionary. _Omne tulit Punctum qui miscuit utile Dulci._ Horat. _London._ Printed by _G.C._ for _Tho. Newborough_, at the Golden-ball in St. _Paul_’s Church-yard, and _J. Nicholson_ at the Kings Armes in _Little Britain_. 1700. LE COMPAGNON Sage & Ingenieux, _ANGLOIS_ & _FRANÇOIS_. OU Recueil de L’ESPRIT, DES PERSONNES Illustres, TANT Anciennes que Modernes: CONTENANT Leurs Sentences, Pensées nobles, genereux Sentimens, Reparties fines, Bons Mots & Contes plaisans. COMPOSE Pour l’Utilité & le Plaisir des _Anglois_ & des _Etrangers_. Par Mr. _Boyer_, Autheur du Dictionnaire Royal _Anglois_ & _François_. _Omne tulit punctum qui miscuit utile dulci._ Horat. A _Londres_. Chez _Tho. Newborough_ à la boule d’Or, au Cimetiere de S. _Paul_; Et _John Nicholson_ aux Armes du Roy, dans la petite _Bretagne_, 1700. A Prefatory INTRODUCTION; CONCERNING The Excellency, Nature and Use of wise Sayings witty Repartees, Jests, and pleasant Stories. Sentences, witty Repartees and Jests, have ever been esteem’d by all civilized Nations: The ancient _Greeks_ and _Romans_ have shewn what account they made of them, by their care of Collecting and Quoting them. _Julius Cesar_ made a Collection of the Jests of his Contemporaries; the famous Historian _Plutarch_ is very exact in recording all those of the illustrious Men of whom he writes the Lives: Wherein he has been imitated by _Diogenes Laertius_, in his lives of the Philosophers; and among the Moderns, my Lord _Bacon_, _Guichardin_, and several others have enrich’d their Writings with them. These Testimonies carry so much weight with them, that we cannot but join our Approbation with that of so many illustrious Persons: The only Question is how to make a good Choice, and not confound true Wit and Sense with abundance of low Thoughts, and dull, and vulgar Jests which are imposed upon the World; and this I have proposed to do in the following Collection. INTRODUCTION En forme de PREFACE, TOUCHANT L’Excellence, la Nature, & l’Usage des Sentences, Reparties fines, Bons Mots, & Contes Plaisans. Les Sentences, les Reparties fines, & les Bons Mots ont toujours été estimez de toutes les Nations policées: Les anciens _Grecs_ & _Romains_ ont fait voir le cas qu’ils en faisoient, par le soin qu’ils ont eu de les recueillir & de les citer. _Jules Cesar_ fit un Recueil des Bons Monts de ses Contemporains; le celebre Historien _Plutarque_ est fort exact à rapporter tous ceux des Hommes illustres dont il écrit les Vies; en quoi il a été imité par _Diogene Laërce_ dans les Vies des Philosophes; & parmi les Modernes mylord _Bacon_, _Guicharchin_, & plusieurs autres en ont enrichi leurs Ecrits. Ces Témoignages sont d’un si grand Poids, que nous ne saurions nous dispenser de joindre nôtre approbation à celle de tant d’illustres Personnes: Il s’agit seulement de faire un bon choix, & de ne pas confondre l’Esprit & le bon Sens avec quantité de Pensées basses, & de Plaisanteries froides & vulgaires qui se debitent dans le monde, & c’est ce que je me suis proposé de faire dans ce Recueil. The Ancients under the names of _Apophthegms_, comprehended what we call wise Sayings, generous and noble Sentiments, Jests and witty Repartees: However, according to our Notions, the Apophthegm thus differs from a Jest or Repartee, that the first is generally Grave and Instructive; whereas Jests and Repartees instruct us and make us merry at once; nay, sometimes these are meerly diverting, and sometimes sharp and Satirical. The _French_ call _Bons Mots_ all those witty Sayings and ingenious Replies which are the result of a true Judgment, and of a happy and quick Imagination. Now the first and most certain Rule to know a _true Jest_ from a false Thought, is that it may be translated into another Language, without losing any thing of its Sense and Pleasantness; for then it is certain that it runs upon the Thing expressed in it, and not upon a _Pun_ or _Quibble_. Les Anciens sous le nom d’_Apophthegmes_ comprenoient ce que nous appellons Sentences, Sentimens nobles & genereux, Bons Mots, & Reparties fines: Cependant, selon nos Idées, l’Apophthegme differe d’un Bon Mot, ou d’une Repartie, en ce que le premier est ordinairement grave & instructif, au lieu que les Bons Mots & les Reparties nous instruisent & nous rejouïssent en même tems; quelquefois même ceux-ci sont purement divertissants, & quelquefois piquans & satiriques. Les _François_ appellent _Bons Mots_, toutes ces Sentences & Reparties ingenieuses qui partent d’un bon Jugement & d’une Imagination prompte & heureuse. La premiere & la plus certaine Regle pour distinguer un veritable Bon Mot d’avec une fausse Pensée, est qu’il puisse être traduit en une autre Langue, sans rien perdre de sa justesse & de son agrément; car alors il est certain qu’il roule sur la chose qui y est exprimée, & non pas sur une Pointe, ou sur une Rencontre. _Puns_ and _Quibbles_ are what we call playing upon Words, or Equivocations; they are known by this, that being turned into another Language, they loose that resemblance of Sound wherein their subtilty consists; and as they affect the Ear more than the Mind, we must take care not to mistake them for true Jests. The pretended Beauty of Equivocations is only owing to Chance, which makes one and the same Word to signify several Things, and therefore their double Application is generally forc’d; but suppose it were true, _a Jest_ is still imperfect when it runs upon the Expression, and not upon the Thought. I confess an Equivocation may be allow’d of when it offers two different Ideas to our Mind, one of which is in a Proper, and the other in a Figurative Sense. But as for those miserable Puns and Quibbles, which are nothing but an empty gingle of Words, the _French_ have branded them with the infamous Name of _Turlupinades_; and they ought to be banished the Conversation of polite and well-bred Persons, as only fit to entertain the vulgar Sort. Les _Pointes_ & les _Rencontres_ sont ce qu’on appelle des _jeux de Mots_ ou des _Equivoques_; on les connoit par ceci, c’est qu’étant traduites en une autre Langue, elles perdent cette ressemblance de son dans laquelle leur subtilité consiste; & comme elles regardent plus l’Oreille que l’Esprit, nous devons prendre garde de ne pas les confondre avec les _veritables Bons Mots_. La pretenduë beauté des Equivoques n’est qu’un effet du hazard, qui fait qu’un même Mot signifie plusieurs choses; ainsi leur double application est presque toûjours forcée; mais supposé qu’elle fut juste, le Bon Mot est imparfait lors qu’il ne roule que sur l’Expression, & non par sur la Pensée. J’avouë que l’Equivoque peut être supportable lors qu’elle offre deux Idées differentes à nôtre Esprit, dont l’une est dans le sens propre & l’autre dans le sens Figuré: Mais pour ce qui est de ces mechantes Pointes, qui ne sont qu’un vain son de Mots, les _François_ les ont notées d’infamie sous le nom de _Turlupinades_, & elles doivent être bannies de la Conversation des gens polis & bien élevez, n’étant propres qu’à divertir le Vulgaire. Jests and wity Repartees have ever been more frequent among the ancient _Grecians_ than any other Nations: Which may be ascribed, first to the quickness of their Wit, their deep Learning, and good Education; secondly, to the constitution of their Government; for living for the most part in Common-wealths, they were not constrained in their Fancy by the Respect due to Sovereigns, and those whom they make sharers of their Authority in Monarchical States; wherein the different degrees establish’d among Men, do often keep Inferiours from speaking their Thoughts about the _Ridiculum_ of those above them. Les Bons Mots & les Reparties fines ont été plus frequentes parmi les anciens _Grecs_ que parmi les autres Peuples: Ce que l’on peut attribuer, premierement à la vivacité de leur Esprit, à leur profond sçavoir, & à leur bonne Education; secondement: Car la pluspart vivant dans des Republipues leur Esprit n’etoit pas retenu par le respect deu aux Souverains, & à ceux aux quels ils font part de leur Autorité dans les Etats Monarchiques; où les divers degrez qu’on y a etablis parmi les Hommes, empêchent souvent les inferieurs de dire ce qu’il pensent sur le Ridicule de ceux qui sont au dessus d’eux. We may draw a double advantage from true _Jests_, for besides that they serve to make us merry, and revive now and then a fainting Conversation: Several of them are full of good and wholesom Instructions, applicable to the different Exigencies of Life, both in a publick and private Fortune. On peut tirer un double avantage des Bons Mots, car outre qu’ils servent à nous divertir, & à ranimer une Conversation languissante, il y en a plusieurs qui sont remplis de belles Instructions, qu’on peut appliquer aux differents Etats de la Vie, dans une Fortune publique ou privée. As for _Stories_ they differ from Jests, in that they express their Subject in its full Latitude, and generally leave nothing to be guest at, as Jests do; they are sometimes divertingly Instructive; but their chief aim is to make the Hearers merry by relating sometimes a concurrence of Comical Accidents; sometimes a piece of Simplicity or Ignorance, and sometimes Malicious Tricks that have been put upon any one, to make Sport for others: In all these we must use the same Caution as we have mentioned about Jests, that is, we must take care not to confound good Stories with many pieces of low Buffoonry, which tickle mean and vulgar Ears by their smutiness, dawb’d over with paltry Equivocations. Pour ce qui est des _Contes_, ils different des _Bons Mots_ en ce qu’ils exposent leur sujet dans toute son étenduë, & ne laissent d’ordinaire rien à deviner comme font les _Bons Mots_. Ils instruisent quelquefois en divertissant, mais leur principal but n’est que de rejouïr leurs Auditeurs en rapportant tantôt quelque rencontre d’Accidens plaisans; tantôt quelque naïveté ou quelque Ignorance; & quelquefois des Tours malicieux, dont on s’est servi pour divertir les autres aux depens de quelqu’un. Dans les Contes il faut user de la même precaution dont nous avons parlé touchant les Bons Mots, c’est à dire, nous devons avoir soin de ne pas confondre les bons Contes, avec plusieurs Bouffonneries basses, qui chatouillent les Oreilles du Peuple par leurs ordures, cachées sous de méchantes Equivoques. Now the use a Gentleman ought to make of Jests and Stories is, never to quote them but when they come pat and _à-propos_ to the Subject and before those who are disposed to hear and be merry with them; without courting the occasion of being thought a pleasant and jocose Man, for Persons of a nice discernment will presently take notice of those nauseous Affectations: And as the judicious _La Bruyere_ has it: _That Man who endeavours to make us Merry, seldom makes himself to be esteem’d._ L’Usage qu’un honnête homme doit faire des Bons Mots & des Contes, est de ne les citer que lors qu’il viennent à propos & naturellement au sujet, & en presence de ceux qui sont disposez à les entendre & à s’en divertir; sans rechercher l’occasion de faire le plaisant & l’enjoüé, car les gens d’un discernement delicat connoissent d’abord ces sortes d’Affectations; & selon le judicieux Mr. de _la Bruyere_: _Il n’est pas ordinaire que celui qui fait rire, se fasse estimer_. We must also observe never to usher in Jests or Stories with formal Commendations, which will prevent our hearers from being agreeably surpriz’d; for ’tis by this surprise that the Pleasure they give is principally excited. Likewise when we begin to tell them, we must not begin to laugh our selves, if we intend to make the Company laugh; for those who promised us Mirth before-hand, are seldom so good as their Words; and how silly and ridiculous does that Man look who laughs by himself, at a cold and thread-bare Jest, whilst the rest can hardly force a Smile to keep him in Countenance? Lastly, we must avoid telling a Jest or Story several times over to the same Persons, an Impertinence which makes the Conversation of old People so very distateful. Il faut aussi observer de ne pas introduire les Contes & les Bons Mots par des loüanges étudiées, qui empêchent nos Auditeurs d’être agréablement surpris; parce que c’est par cette surprise que le plaisir qu’ils excitent est principalement causé. Il faut encore que lors que nous les racontons nous n’en rions pas les premiers, si nous voulons faire rire la Compagnie; Car il arrive souvent que ceux qui nous ont assuré qu’ils vont nous faire rire, ne tiennent pas leurs promesses; & rien n’est si sot ni si ridicule qu’un homme qui rit seul d’une Pensée froide & usée, pendant que les autres tâchent en vain de soûrire pour l’empêcher de perdre Contenance. Enfin, il faut éviter l’inconvenient de dire un Conte ou un Bon Mot plusieurs fois aux mêmes Personnes, ce qui est un Ridicule qui rend la Conversation des vieilles gens si desagréable. Before I make an end of this Introduction, I shall obviate an Objection which some supercilious Criticks will be apt to make against this Work, viz. That most of these _Apophthegms_, _Jests_, _Repartees_ and _Stories_, are already known to Persons of good Education, and to Men of Learning: To which I answer, That granting this to be true, yet ’tis hoped they may be glad to find them here again, just as we are pleased to hear a fine Tune over and over, provided it be well Sung: But besides, this Collection is so vastly Rich, that it is hard, if not impossible, for any single Reader to know all it contains and not be either instructed or diverted by some thing that will be new to him. To which I must add, That my chief Design in this Collection is to facilitate the Learning of the _French_ Tongue to the _English_; and that of the _English_ Language to Foreigners, and upon that score I have taken particular care to make both Languages answer one another, as near as their different Idioms would allow. Avant que de finir cette Introduction, je previendrai une Objection que quelques Critiques de mauvaise humeur pourront faire contre cét Ouvrage, qui est, que la pluspart de ces _Apophthegmes_, _Bons Mots_, _Reparties_ & _Contes_ sont deja seus par les Personnes bien élevées, & par les gens de Lettres; à quoi je repons, que quand cela seroit, on espere pourtant qu’ils seront bien-aise de les retrouver ici, de même qu’on entend avec plaisir un bel Air, quoi qu’on fait deja entendu, pourveu qu’il soit bien chanté. Dailleurs ce Recueil est si grand & si riche, qu’il est difficile, pour ne pas dire impossible qu’un même Lecteur sache tout ce qu’il contient, & qu’il ne soit instruit ou diverti par quelque chose qui aura pour lui la grace de la nouveautê. A quoi je dois ajoûter que mon dessein principal dans ce Recueil est de rendre la Langue _Françoise_ facile à apprendre aux _Anglois_, & l’_Angloise_ aux Etrangers; & c’est pour cela que je me suis attaché avec soin â faire repondre ces deux Langues l’une à l’autre autant que leurs differens Idiomes l’ont pû permettre. THE Apophthegms OF THE ANCIENTS, BEING Their wise Sayings, fine Thoughts, noble Sentiments, Jests and witty Repartees, &c. 1. A Rich Man of _Athens_ desired the Philosopher _Aristippus_ to tell him how much he must give him to instruct his Son: _Aristippus_ ask’d him a Thousand Drachms. How! said the _Athenian_, I could purchase a Slave for that Money: _Do so_, answer’d _Aristipus_, _and thou shalt have two_; giving him to understand, that his Son would have the Vices of a Slave, if he did not bestow a liberal Education upon him. LES Apophthegmes DES ANCIENS, C’est à dire Leurs Sentences, belles Pensees, nobles Sentimens, bons Mots, & Reparties fines, &c. 1 Un Riche _Athenien_ pria le Philosophe _Aristippe_ de lui dire ce qu’il desiroit pour instruire son Fils: _Aristippe_ lui demanda mille Drachmes. Comment, dit l’_Athenien_, j’acheterois un Esclave de cét Argent là; _Achetes en un_, lui répondit _Aristippe_, _& tu en auras deux_; lui faisant entendre que son Fils auroit les defauts d’un Esclave, s’il ne faisoit pas la depense nécessaire pour le bien élever. 2 The famous Philosopher _Anacharsis_ was a _Scythian_ by Birth and a _Grecian_ who had no other Merit than that of being born in _Greece_, looking upon him with Envy, reproached him with the Barbarousness of his Country; _I confess_, reply’d _Anacharsis_, _that my Country is a Shame to me; but thou art the Shame of thy Country._ This Saying may be very well applied to those shallow Wits who despise Strangers, meerly because they are Strangers; not considering that Learning, Wit and Merit, are of all Countries. 2 Le fameux Philosophe _Anacharsis_ ètoit _Scythe_, & un _Grec_ qui n’avoit d’autre Merite que d’être né en _Grece_, le regardant avec envie, lui reprochoit la barbarie de son Païs: _J’avouë_, lui repliqua _Anacharsis_, _que mon Pays me fait honte, mais tu fais honte à ton Pays._ Ce mot peut être fort bien appliqué à ces petits Esprits qui méprisent les Etrangers seulement parce qu’ils sont Etrangers, sans considerer que le Sçavoir, l’Esprit & le Merite sont de tout Pays. 3 When _Theopompus_ was King of _Sparta_, one was saying in his Presence, that it now went well with their City, because their King had learn’d how to Govern: To which the King very prudently Replied, _That it rather came to pass, because their People had learn’d to Obey_; intimating that Popular Cities are most injurious to themselves, by their factious Disobedience; which while they are addicted to, they are not easily well governed by the best of Magistrates. 3 Lors que _Theopompus_ ètoit Roy de _Sparte_, quelqu’un dit en sa presence, que leurs Ville ètoit florissante, parce que leurs Rois avoient appris à gouverner, à quoi le Roy repondit fort sagement, _Que cela venoit plûtôt de ce que le Peuple avoit appris à obeïr_; donnant à entendre que les Villes où la Populace a du credit, se font beaucoup de tort par leurs Factions & leur desobeïssance, & qu’alors il est difficile, même aux meilleurs Magistrats de les bien gouverner. 4 _Dionysius_ the elder, Tyrant of _Syracuse_, reproving his Son, for that he had forcibly violated the Chastity of one of the Citizens Wives, asked him amongst other Things, if he had ever heard that any such thing had been done by him; _No_, said the Son, _but that was because you was not Son to a King_: _Neither_, said _Dionysius_, _will you ever be a Father to one, unless you give over such Pranks as these._ The event proved the truth of what he said; for when this young Man succeeded his Father, he was expelled the Kingdom of _Syracuse_ for his ill Behaviour and manner of Life. 4 _Denys_ le vieux, Tyran de _Syracuse_, grondant son Fils de ce qu’il avoit violé la Chasteté de la Femme d’un des Bourgeois, lui demanda entr’autres choses, s’il avoit jamais entendu dire, qu’il eut fait de pareilles Actions; _Non_, lui dit le Fils, _mais c’est parce que vous n’ètiez pas Fils de Roy_: _Tu n’en seras jamais Pere_, lui dit _Denys_, _si tu fais plus de ces Folies._ L’evenement justifia la verité de ce qu’il disoit; car ce jeune Homme ayant succedé à son Pere, il fut chassé du Royaume de _Syracuse_ à cause de sa méchante Conduite & de sa mauvaise Vie. 5 King _Antigonus_ came to visit _Antagoras_ a learned Man, whom he found in his Tent busied in the Cooking of Congers, _Do you think_, said _Antigonus_, _that_ Homer _at such time as he wrote the glorious Actions of_ Agamemnon _was boiling of Congers?_ _And do you think_, said the other, _that_ Agamemnon _when he did those great Actions, was wont to concern himself whether any Man in his Camp boiled Congers or not_, 5 Le Roy _Antigonus_ alla voir _Antagoras_, Homme savant, lequel il trouva dans sa Tente occupé à apprêter des Congres; _Croyez vous_, lui dit _Antigonus_, _qu’_Homere _fit bouillir des Congres lors qu’il écrivoit les glorieuses Actions d’_Agamemnon_?_ _Et pensez vous_, lui dit l’autre, _que lors qu’_Agamemnon _faisoit ces belles Actions, il se mît en peine si quelqu’un dans son Camp faisoit bouillir des Congres ou non?_ 6 _Socrates_ was asked, why he endured his Wifes Brawling; says he, Why do you suffer your Geese to gaggle? _because_, answered one, _they lay us Eggs_; _and my Wife brings me Children_, said he. 6 On demanda à _Socrate_ pourquoy il enduroit les Criailleries de sa Femme, & vous, dit il, Pourquoy souffrez vous le bruit de vos Oyes? _Parce_, repondit quelqu’un, _qu’elles nous pondent des Oeufs_; _& bien_, dit il, _& ma Femme me fait des Enfans_. 7 _Apelles_ the famous Painter, drew the Picture of _Alexander_ the Great on Horse-back, and presented it to him; but _Alexander_ not praising it as so excellent a Piece deserved, _Apelles_ desired a living Horse might be brought, who seeing the Picture, fell to pawing and neighing, taking it to be a real one; whereupon _Apelles_ told him, _his Horse understood Painting better than himself_. 7 _Apelles_ le fameux Peintre, fit le Portrait d’_Alexandre_ le Grand à Cheval, & le lui presenta, mais comme _Alexandre_ ne loüoit pas assez un si excellent Ouvrage, _Apelles_ demanda qu’on fit venir un Cheval en Vie, lequel à la veuë du portrait se mit à trepigner des Pieds, & à hennir, le prenant pour une realité; surquoy _Apelles_, lui dit, _que son Cheval s’entendoit mieux en Peinture que lui_. 8 _Virgil_, the famous Poet, was much in favour thro’ his great Wit and Learning with _Augustus_, insomuch that he daily received his Bread from him; _Augustus_ one Day knowing his deep Discretion, ask’d him privately, _If he could guess what was his Father_; to which he replied, _Truly Sir, I do verily believe he was a Baker_, _a Baker, and why so?_ says _Augustus_; _because_ says _Virgil_, _you always reward me with Bread_, which Answer so well pleased the Emperour, that he rewarded him afterwards with Money. 8 Le fameux Poëte _Virgile_ s’ètoit si bien acquis les bonnes Graces d’_Auguste_ par son Savoir & par son Esprit, qu’il en recevoit son Pain ordinaire; _Auguste_ connoissant la profondeur de son jugement, lui demanda un jour en particulier, _s’il pouvoit deviner ce qu’ètoit son Pere_? _Seigneur, lui repliqua-t-il, je crois fermement qu’il ètoit Boulenger_; _Boulenger, & pourquoy cela_, lui dit _Auguste_; _parce_, dit _Virgile_, _que vous me recompensez toûjours en Pain_. Cette Réponse plût si fort à l’Empereur, que dans la suite il le recompensa en Argent, 9 _Alexander_ the Great, having defeated the Army of _Darius_ King of _Persia_, _Darius_ sued to him for Peace, and proffered him one half of _Asia_, with ten thousand Talents. _Parmenio_, one of his Favourites, charm’d with so advantageous a Proposal, _Sir_, said he to his Master, _I vow were I_ Alexander, _I would gladly accept these offers_; _and so would I_, answered _Alexander_, _if I was_ Parmenio. 9 _Alexandre_ le Grand ayant remporté la Victoire sur l’Armée de _Darius_ Roy de _Perse_, celui-ci lui demanda la Paix, & lui offrit la moitié de l’_Asie_, avec dix mille Talents. _Parmenion_, un de ses Favoris, charmé d’une Proposition si avantageuse, _Seigneur_, dit-il à son Maître, _je vous proteste que si j’ètois_ Alexandre, _j’accepterois ces offres avec joye_; _& moy aussi_, lui répondit _Alexandre_, _si j’ètois_ Parmenion. 10 The same _Alexander_ being at _Delphos_, dragged the Priestess of _Apollo_ to the Temple, in order to make her consult the Oracle upon a forbidden Day: She having resisted him in vain, cried out, _Alexander thou art invincible_. _I desire no other Oracle but this_, reply’d he. 10 Le même _Alexandre_, ètant à _Delphes_, entraina la Pretresse d’_Apollon_ dans le Temple, pour lui faire consulter l’Oracle en un jour deffendu; Elle, s’écria, aprés lui avoir resisté en vain, _Alexandre, tu ès invincible_. _Je ne veux point_, dit-il, _d’autre Oracle que celui-là._ 11 _Leo_ the _Bizantine_, a Disciple of _Plato_, and a very famous Philosopher, going to meet _Philip_ King of _Macedon_, who came with a great Army against his Country, told him, _Sir, why do you come to attack our City_; _because_, said _Philip_, _I am in Love with her, and am come to enjoy her_. _Ah! Sir_, reply’d _Leo_, _Lovers don’t come to their Mistresses with Instruments of War, but of Musick._ This agreeable and witty Repartee so pleased _Philip_ that he changed his Resolution, and leaving _Byzantium_ at liberty, passed on to other Conquests. 11 _Leon_ le _Bizantin_, Auditeur de _Platon_, & Philosophe fort fameux, ètant allé au devant de _Philippe_ Roy de _Macedoine_ qui venoit avec une grosse Armée attaquer sa Patrie, il lui dit, _Seigneur, Pourquoy venez vous attaquer nôtre Ville?_ _parce que j’en suis amoureux_, dit _Philippe_, en raillant, _& que je viens pour en jouir_. _Ah! Sire_, reprit _Leon_, _les Amans ne vont point chez leurs Maîtresses avec des instrumens de Guerre, mais avec des instrumens de Musique_. Cette agréable & subtile réponse plût si sort à _Philippe_ qu’il changea de resolution, & laissant _Bizance_ en liberté, il passa à d’autres Conquetes. 12 One asked _Pythagoras_ why he had married his Daughter to one of his Enemies; _because_, answered that Philosopher, _I thought I could do him no greater injury than give him a Wife_. 12 On demandoit a _Pythagore_, pourquoy il avoit marié sa Fille à un de ses Ennemis, ce Philosophe répondit, que c’estoit, _parce qu’il croyait ne pouvoir lui faire un plus grand mal que de lui donner une Femme_. 13 _Diogenes_ seeing an ill Marks-man drawing his Bow, he put himself just before the Mark, and being asked why he did so, _because_, said he, _he’ll be sure not hit me there_. 13 _Diogene_ voyant un Homme que tiroit de l’Arc, & qui en tiroit fort mal, se mit devant le but, on luy demanda, pourquoy il s’en mettoit si prés, _c’est_, répondit-il, _afin qu’il ne me touche point_. 14 _Alexander_ going to see _Diogenes_ the _Cynick_, He found him in a Field basking himself in the Sun; and accosting him, followed by all his Court, he said to him, I am _Alexander_ the Great: And I, answered the Philosopher, am _Diogenes_ the Cynick. _Alexander_ made him several offers, and asked him what he desired of him; nothing, said _Diogenes_, but only that you stand a little aside, and don’t hinder the Sun to shine upon me. The King surprized with his Manners, cried out _were I not_ Alexander, _I could be_ Diogenes. 14 _Alexandre_ allant voir _Diogene_ le Cynique, il le trouva dans un champ expozé au Soleil, & l’abordant suivi de toute sa Cour, il luy dit, je suis le grand _Alexandre_; & moy, répondit le Philosophe, je suis _Diogene_ le Cynique: _Alexandre_ luy fit plusieurs offres, & luy demanda ce qu’il souhaitoit de lui? rien autre chose dit _Diogene_, _si-non que tu te mettes un peu à côté, parce que tu empêches le Soleil de donner sur moy_. Le Roy surpris de ces Manieres, s’êcria, _si je n’ètois point Alexandre je voudrois être_ Diogene. 15 _Pompey_ being Sick of a Feaver, one of his Friends came to see him, and as he came into his Room, he spied a handsom Woman Slave, whom _Pompey_ loved, going out, he asked _Pompey_ how it was with him, _the Feaver_, said _Pompey_, _left me but just now_: _Very like_, reply’d his Friend, _for I met her a going from you_. 15 _Pompée_ ètant Malade de la Fievre, un de ses Amis le vint voir, & vit en entrant dans sa chambre une belle Escalve, dont _Pompée_ ètoit amoureux, qui en sortoit: il demanda à _Pompée_ comment il se portoit, _la Fievre vient de me quitter_, lui dit _Pompée_, _je l’ai rencontrée qui sortoit de chez vous_, lui dit son Ami. 16 The Emperour _Augustus_ endeavouring to find the reason of the great likeness which a young _Grecian_ bore to him, asked him whether his Mother was ever at _Rome_: _No, Sir_, answered the _Grecian_, _but my Father has many a time_. 16 L’Empereur _Auguste_ cherchant des Raisons de la grande ressemblance qui ètoit entre lui & un jeune Homme _Grec_, lui demanda si sa Mere avoit jamais êté à _Rome_? _Non, Seigneur_, lui répondit le _Grec_, _mais mon Pere y est venu plusieurs fois_. 17 _Pisistrates_, a Tyrant of _Athens_, having resolved to marry a second Wife, his Children asked him whether he did it out of any discontent he had received from them. _On the contrary_, answered he, _I am so well pleased with you, and find you to be such fine Men, that I have a mind to have other Children like you_. 17 _Pisistrate_, Tyran d’_Athenes_, ayant resolu de se remarier, ses Enfans lui demanderent si c’ètoit à cause de quelque mécontentement qu’il eût receu d’eux. _au contraire_, leur répondit-il, _je suis si content de vous, & je vous trouve si honnêtes Gens, que je veux avoir encore d’autres Enfans qui vous ressemblent_. 18 _Thales_ the _Milesian_, one of the Seven Wise-men of _Greece_, being asked what was the _oldest Thing_? He answered, _God_, because he has been for ever; what was _the handsomest Thing_? he said, _the World_; because it is the Work of God; what _the largest Thing_? _Place_; because it comprehends every thing besides; what the _most convenient_? _Hope_; because when all other Things are lost that remains still; what the _best Thing_? _Virtue_; for without it nothing that is Good can be said or done; what the _quickest_? a _Mans Thoughts_; because in one Moment they run over all the Universe; what the _strongest_? _Necessity_; because it surmounts all other Accidents; what the _easiest_? to give _Councel_; what the _hardest_? to know ones self; what the _wisest Thing_? _Time_; because it brings all Things to pass. 18 _Thales Milesien_, l’un des sept Sages de _Grece_, étant interrogé quelle étoit la chose _la plus ancienne_? répondit que c’étoit _Dieu_; parce qu’il a toûjours été; quelle étoit la chose _la plus belle_? il dit que c’étoit _le Monde_; parce que c’est l’ouvrage de Dieu? quelle étoit la chose _la plus grande_? _le lieu_; parce qu’il comprend toute autre chose; quelle chose étoit la _plus Commode_? _l’Esperance_; parce qu’aprés avoir perdu tous les autres biens, elle reste toûjours; quelle chose ètoit _la Meilleure_? _la vertu_; parce que sans elle, on ne peut rien dire, n’y rien faire de bon; quelle chose ètoit _la plus promte_? _l’esprit de l’homme_; parce qu’en un moment il parcourt tout l’Univers; quelle chose ètoit _la plus forte_? la _Necessité_; parce qu’elle surmonte tous les autres Accidens; quelle chose ètoit la _plus facile_? _de donner conseil_; quelle chose ètoit la plus difficile? _de se connoître soy même_; quelle chose ètoit la _plus Sage_? _le temps_, répondit-il, parce qu’il vient à bout de tout. 19 A certain Soldier came in a great Fright to _Leonidas_ and told him, Captain, the Enemy are very near us; then we are very near them too, said _Leonidas_. There was another that came to tell him that the Enemy were so numerous that one could hardly see the Sun for the quantity of their Arrows; to whom he answered very pleasantly, _will it not be a great Pleasure to fight in the shade?_ 19 Vn certain Soldat fort épouvanté, se presenta devant _Leonidas_, & luy dit, mon Capitaine les Ennemis sont fort prez de nous; & bien, nous sommes donc aussi fort prés d’eux, répondit _Leonidas_. Il y en eut un autre qui luy rapporta que le nombre des Ennemis ètoit si grand, qu’à grand peine pouvoit on voir le Soleil par la quantité de leurs dards; il luy répondit fort agréablement, _ne sera-ce pas un grand plaisir de combatre à l’ombre?_ 20 _Alexander_ the Great asked _Dionides_, a famous Pirate, who was brought Prisoner to him, why he was so bold as to rob and plunder in his Seas, he answered, that he did it for his Profit, and as _Alexander_ himself was used to do; _but because I do it_, added he, _with one single Gally, I am called a Pirate: But you Sir, Who do it with a great Army are called a King._ That bold Answer so pleased _Alexander_ that he gave him his Liberty, at that very instant. 20 _Alexandre_ le grand demandoit â _Dionides_ fameux Corsaire qui luy avoit été amené prisonnier, pour quelle raison il avoir été si hardy que de pirater & de faire des courses sur ses Mers; il répondit, que c’ètoit pour son profit, & comme _Alexandre_ avoit coûtume de faire lui même, _mais parce que je le fais_, ajouta-til, _avec une seule Galere, l’on m’appelle Corsaire; mais vous, Seigneur, qui le faites avec une grande Armée, l’on vous appelle Roy_. Cette réponse hardie plût tant à _Alexandre_, qu’il lui donna aussi tôt la liberté. 21 _Darius_ King of _Persia_ sent great Presents to _Epaminondas_, General of the _Thebans_, with design to tamper with him: If _Darius_, said this great Captain to those that brought those Presents to him, _has a mind to be Friends with the_ Thebans, _he need not buy my Friendship; and if he has other Thoughts, he has not Riches enough to corrupt me_; and so he sent them back. 21 _Darius_ Roy de _Perse_, envoya de grands Presents à _Epaminondas_, Chef des _Thebains_, pour tâcher de le corrompre: _Si_ Darius _veut être Ami des_ Thebains, dit ce grand Capitaine à ceux qui les lui portoient, _il n’est pas nécessaire qu’il achete mon amitié; & s’il a d’autres sentiments, il n’est pas assez riche pour me corrompre_. _Et ainsi il les renvoya._ 22 _Corax_ promised _Tisias_ to teach him Rhetorick, and _Tisias_ on his side engaged to give him a Reward for it; but when he had learnt it, he refused to satisfy him: _Corax_ therefore called him before the Judge; _Tisias_ trusting to the subtilty of his Rhetorick, asked him _what Rhetorick consisted in_: _Corax_ answered _in the Art of Perswading_. Then said _Tisias_, _If I can perswade the Judge that I ought to give you nothing, I’ll pay you nothing, because you will be cast; and if I do not perswade them, I shan’t pay you neither; because I have not learnt how to perswade; therefore your best way is to relinquish your enterprize_. But _Corax_, who was more subtle than he, resumed the Argument in this Manner, _if you perswade the Judges you ought to pay me; because you have learnt Rhetorick; if you do not perswade them, you must pay me likewise, because you will be cast; so let it be how it will you ought to satisfy me_. 22 _Corax_ promit à _Tisias_ de luy enseigner la Rhétorique, & _Tisias_ de son côté s’engagea de lui en payer le Salaire; mais l’ayant apprise, il ne vouloit point le satisfaire, c’est pourquoy _Corax_ l’appella en justice. _Tisias_ se fiant sur la subtilité de sa Rhétorique lui demanda, _en quoy consistoit la Rhétorique_: Corax repondit, _qu’elle consistoit dans l’art de persuader_. donc dit _Tisias_, _si je persuade les juges, que je ne te dois rien donner, je ne te payeray aucune chose, parce que je gagneray le procez; & si je ne les persuade pas, je ne te payeray pas non plus, parce que je n’auray pas appris à persuader; ainsi tu feras mieux d’abandonner l’entreprise_. Mais _Corax_ qui ètoit plus fin que luy, reprit l’argument de cette maniere; _si tu persuades les juges, tu me dois payer, parce que tu auras appris la Rhétorique, si tu ne les persuader pas, tu me dois payer de même; parce que tu perdras ton procez, ainsi de quelle façon que ce soit tu dois me satisfaire_. 23 _Mecenas_, _Augustus_’s Favourite, being entertained at Dinner by a Roman Knight, towards the end of the Meal, began to take some Liberties with his Wife; the Knight, to make his court to him, instead of shewing any jealousy of it, counterfeited Sleep; but seeing one of his Slaves going to take away something from the Cup board, _Sirrah_, says he, _doest thou not see that I only sleep for_ Mecenas? 23 Mécéne Favori d’_Auguste_, étant regalé par un Chevalier Romain, sur la fin du repas il commença à prendre quelque libertez avec sa Femme. le Chevalier pour lui faire sa Cour, au lieu d’en paroitre jaloux, fit semblant de dormir; mais voyant qu’un de ses Esclaves alloit emporter quelque chose du Buffet, _Coquin_, lui dit-il, _ne vois tu pas que je ne dors que pour_ Mécéne? 24 There was at _Rome_, in the Time of the Emperour _Augustus_, a poor _Greek_ Poet who from time to time, when the Emperour went out of his Palace, presented him with a Greek Epigram; and though the Emperour took it, yet he never gave him any thing; on the contrary, having a mind one Day to ridicule him and shake him off, assoon as he saw him coming to present him with his Verses, the Emperour sent him a _Greek_ Epigram of his own Composing, and writ with his own Hand. The Poet received it with joy, and as he was reading of it, he shewed by his Face and Gestures that he was mightily pleased with it. After he had read it, he pulled out his Purse, and coming up to _Augustus_, gave him some few Pence, saying, _take this Money_, Cesar, _I give it you, not according to your great Fortune, but according to my poor Ability; had I more, my liberality would be greater_. The whole company fell a laughing, and the Emperour more than the rest, who ordered him a hundred thousand Crowns. 24 Il y avoit à _Rome_, du tems de l’Empereur _Auguste_, un pauvre Poëte _Grec_ qui de temps en temps, lors que l’Empereur sortoit du Palais, lui presentoit une épigramme Grecque, mais quoy que l’Empereur la prit, il ne luy donnoit pourtant jamais rien; au contraire, voulant un jour se moquer de lui, & le congedier, lors qu’il le vit venir pour presenter ses Vers, l’Empereur lui envoya une épigramme en _Grec_ de sa composition, & écrite de sa main; le Poëte la receut avec joye, la leut, & fit voir en la lisant par son Visage & par les gestes qu’elle lui plaisoit beaucoup: l’ayant leüe, il tira sa bourse, & s’approchant d’_Auguste_, il lui donna quelques Sols, lui disant, _prenez cét argent_ Cesar, _je vous le donne, non selon vôtre haute fortune, mais selon mon petit pouvoir, si j’en avois davantage ma liberalité seroit plus grande_; tout le monde se mit à rire, l’Empereur lui même plus que les autres, & lui fit donner cent mille écus. 25 Young _Scipio_ was at four and twenty Years of Age a Man of consummate Wisdom; and altho his warlike Atchievements terrified his Enemies, yet he made still greater Conquests by his Virtue than by his Valour. For as they brought to him the Wife of _Mando_ a _Spanish_ Prince, with two of her Nieces extream Beautiful, he sent them back with these fine Words, _That it not only became his own, and the_ Roman _Peoples integrity not to violate any thing that’s Sacred; but besides the regard he had for them, obliged him to do them Justice; since in their Misfortune they had neither forgot themselves, nor their Honour_. And having done the same to another _Spanish_ Prince, whose Wife, (a Woman still more accomplisht in her Beauty than the other) had been presented to him, he sent her back to her Husband with a great Sum of Money which was offered him for her Ransom. This Prince highly pleased with this Favour, proclaimed through all the Land, _That a God-like young_ Roman _was come into Spain, who made himself Master of all not so much by the Power of his Arms, as of his Virtue and obliging Nature_. 25 Le jeune _Scipion_ à l’âge de vingt quatre ans ètoit déja d’une Sagesse consommée: & quoy qu’il fit des Exploits d’Armes qui ètonnoient ses Ennemis, il fit encore de plus grandes Conquêtes par sa Vertu, que par sa Valeur. Car lors qu’on lui eût amené la Femme de _Mandon_, Prince _Espagnol_, & deux des ses Nieces d’une excellente Beauté, il les renvoya avec ces belles Paroles: _Qu’outre qu’il ètoit de son integrité, & de celle du Peuple_ Romain _de ne rien violer de saint, leur propre consideration l’obligeoit encore à leur faire justice: puis que dans leur malheur, elles ne s’ètoient pas oubliées d’elles, ni de leur Vertu_. Et ayant fait la même chose à un autre Prince _Espagnol_, dont on lui avoit presentê la Femme, d’une Beauté encore plus accomplie que l’autre, il la renvoya à son mary avec une grande somme d’Argent qu’on lui offroit pour sa rançon. Ce Prince charmé de cette Grace publia dans le Païs, _qu’il ètoit venu en_ Espagne _un jeune_ Romain _semblable aux Dieux, qui se rendoit Maître de tout, moins par la force de ses Armes que par celle de sa Vertu & de son humeur bienfaisante_. 26 The same _Scipio_ being accused before the _Roman_ People, by _Q. Petilius_, for embezling part of the Spoils of King _Antiochus_, he made his appearance at the Day appointed by his Accuser. But this great Man no less admirable by his Virtue than by his Courage, instead of clearing himself from the Charge, and proud of his own Innocence, he made a Speech to the People assembled to condemn him, and told them with a bold and undaunted Look, and the Tone of a Conquerour, _’Twas upon such a day as this is I took Carthage, defeated_ Hannibal, _and vanquished the_ Carthaginians; _let’s march to the Capitol, and return the Gods Thanks for it_. The People surprised by this Magnanimity left the Informer, followed _Scipio_, and that Day got him a thousand times more Honour than that on which he triumphed over King _Siphax_, and the _Carthaginians_. 26 Le même _Scipion_ ètant accusé devant le Peuple _Romain_ par _Q. Petilius_, d’avoir distrait une partie des depouilles du Roy _Antiochus_ à son profit, parut au jour marqué par son Accusateur. Mais ce grand Homme, admirable par sa vertu & par sa valeur, au lieu de se justifier de ce qu’on l’accusoit, fier qu’il ètoit de son innocence, parlant au Peuple assemblé pour le condamner, dit d’un air hardi & intrepide, & d’un ton de vainqueur. _C’est à tel jour qu’aujourd’huy, que j’ay pris_ Carthage, _que j’ay défait_ Hannibal, _& vaincu les_ Carthaginois, _allons au Capitole en remercier les Dieux_. Le Peuple surpris de cette Magnanimité, quitta l’accusateur, suivit _Scipion_, & ce jour lui fut mille fois plus glorieux, que celui auquel il triompha du Roy _Siphax_, & des _Carthaginois_. 27 _Plato_ invited one Day to Supper _Diogenes_ the Cynick with some _Sicilians_ his Friends, and caused the Banqueting Room to be adorned, out of respect to those Strangers. _Diogenes_ who was displeased with the finery of _Plato_, began to trample upon the Carpets and other Goods, and said very brutishly, _I trample upon the Pride of_ Plato: But _Plato_ answered wisely, _True_, Diogenes, _but you trample upon it through a greater Pride_. 27 _Platon_ invita un jour à souper _Diogene_ le _Cynique_ avec quelques _Siciliens_ de ses Amis, & fit orner la sale du Banquet pour faire honneur à ces Etrangers. _Diogene_ qui ne pouvoit souffrir la propreté de _Platon_, commenta à fouler aux Pieds les Tapis & les autres meubles, & dit fort brutalement: _je foule aux Pieds l’orgueil de_ Platon: & _Platon_ lui répondit sagement, _il est vray_, Diogene, _mais vous le foulez par un plus grand orgueil_. 28 _Cineas_ was in great Honour with _Pyrrhus_ King of _Epirus_, who made use of him in all his weighty Affairs, and profest that he had won more Cities by the Charms of his Eloquence, than he had taken himself by the strength of his own Arms. He perceiving the King earnestly bent upon his Expedition into _Italy_, told him in private, Sir, the _Romans_ have the Reputation of a Warlike People, and command divers Nations that are so, but suppose we overcome them, What Fruit shall we reap by the Victory? That’s a plain thing, said _Pyrrhus_; for then added he, No City will presume to oppose us, and we shall speedily be Masters of all _Italy_. And having made _Italy_ our own, return’d _Cineas_, what shall we then do? _Sicily_, said he, is near, reaching out her Hand to us, a rich and populous Island, and easily to be taken. It is probable, said _Cineas_; but having subdued _Sicily_, will that put an end to the War? If God, said _Pyrrhus_ gives us this success, these will be but the Flourish to greater Matters; for who can refrain from _Africa_ and _Carthage_, which will be soon at our beck? And these overcome, you will easily grant that none of those that now provoke us, will dare to resist us: That’s true, said _Cineas_; for ’its easiy to believe that with such Forces we may recover _Macedon_, and give Law to all _Greece_. But being thus become Lords of all, what then? Then dear _Cineas_, said _Pyrrhus_ smiling, _we will live at our ease, and enjoy our selves_. When _Cineas_ had brought him thus far; and what hinders, replied he, but that we may now do all this, seeing it is in our Power, without the expence of so much sweat and Blood? 28 _Cineas_ ètoit en grande estime auprès de _Phyrrus_ Roy d’_Epire_ qui se servoit de lui dans toutes ses Affaires importantes, & avoüoit qu’il avoit gagné plus de Villes par les charmes de son Eloquence, qu’il n’en avoit pris lui même par la force de ses Armes. Comme il vit que le Roy avoit tourne toutes ses Pensées vers l’expedition d’_Italie_, il lui dit un jour en particulier: Sire, les _Romains_ passant pour un Peuple Guerrier, & commandent à plusieurs Nations qui le sont aussi, mais supposé, que nous les vainquions, quel fruit retirerons nous de cette Victoire? La chose parle d’elle même, dit _Phyrrus_, car alors, ajoûta-t-il, aucune Ville n’osera nous resister & nous serons bien-tôt Maîtres de toute l’_Italie_. Et quand nous aurons l’_Italie_, repliqua _Cineas_, que ferons nous alors? La _Sicile_, dit-il, est prés & nous tend les Bras: Isle riche & peuplée qui sera facilement reduite: il y a quelque apparence, dit _Cineas_; mais aprés avoir subjugué la _Sicile_, cela mettra t-il fin à la Guerre? Si Dieu, dit _Phyrrus_, nous donne ce bon succez, ce ne seront que les Preludes de plus grandes choses; car comment s’empêcher de passer en _Afrique_ & d’aller à _Carthage_, qui sera bien tôt à nôtre commandement? Et étant venus à bout de tout ceci vous m’avoüerez aisement qu’aucun de ceux qui nous bravent maintenant, n’osera nous resister. Cela est vray, dit _Cineas_; car il est assez croyable qu’avec de telles Forces nous pourrons recouvrer la _Macedoine_, & faire la loy à toute la _Grece_. Mais aprés nous être ainsi rendus Maîtres de tout, que ferons nous alors? Alors, cher _Cineas_, lui dit _Phyrrus_, d’un air gay, _nous vivrons à nôtre aise, & nous nous donnerons du bon tems_. _Cineas_ l’ayant fait venir là, _& à quoi tient-il_, repliqua-t-il, _que nous ne le fassions dés à present puis que cela depend de nous sans tant de sang & de peine?_ 29 _Chilo_ said, one ought to be young in his old Age, and old in his youth; that is, an old Man ought to be Chearful and Good-humour’d, and a young Man Wise. 29 _Chilon_ disoit, il faut être jeune en sa vieillesse, & vieux en sa jeunesse; c’est-à dire qu’un vieillard doit être sans chagrin, & qu’un jeune homme doit être sage. 30 _Artaxerxes_ being routed in a Battle, and put to flight, after his Baggage and Provisions had been plundered, he found himself so prest with Hunger, that he was reduced to eat a piece of Barly Bread, and some dry Figs. He relished them so well, that he cried out. _O Gods! how many Pleasures has Plenty deprived me of till this instant?_ 30 _Artaxerces_, dans un combat, ayant été obligé de prendre la fuite aprés que son bagage & ses Provisions eurent été pillées, il se trouva si fort pressé de la faim qu’il fut reduit à manger un morceau de pain d’orge & quelques figues seches. Elles lui parurent de si bon goût qu’il s’écria: _O Dieux! de combien de plaisirs l’abondance m’a-t-elle privé jusqu’ à ce moment_. 31 Those of _Cyrene_ desired _Plato_ to make Laws for them, _I cannot_, said he, _dictate Laws to those whom Plenty and Prosperity has made incapable to obey_. 31 Ceux de _Cyrene_ priérent _Platon_ de leur dresser des Loix; _je ne puis_, leur dit-il, _prescrire des Loix à ceux que l’abondance & la prosperité rendent incapables d’obeir_. 32 _Archidamus_ besieging _Corinth_, saw a great many Hares starting from under its Walls: Then turning presently to his Soldiers, _These my Friends_, said he, _are the Enemies we are to fight withal, we ought to be more afraid of their Heels than of their Hands_. 32 _Archidamus_, assiegeant _Corinthe_, vit sortir plusieurs Liévres de dessous ses murs: aussi-tôt se tournant vers ses Soldats: _Voilà_, dit-il, _Compagnons, les Ennemis que nous avons à combattre, nous devons plus craindre leurs pieds que leurs bras_. 33 _Julius Cesar_ landing on the Shore of _Africa_, happened to get a fall as he went out of the Ship. This fall which seemed to be an ill Omen for his Design upon that Country, was by his ready Wit turned into a lucky Presage; for as he fell he embraced the Earth, and cried, _Now I hold thee_ Africa. 33 _Jules Cesar_ qui abordoit au rivage d’_Affrique_ tomba en descendant du vaisseau: cette chûte qui sembloit de mauvais augure pour les desseins qu’il avoit sur ce Païs, fut par son adresse changée en un présage heureux; il embrassa la Terre en tombant, & il s’écria; _c’est à present_, Afrique, _que je te tiens_. 34 _Timotheus_ being accounted lucky in his Undertakings, was by some envious Persons drawn with a Net in his Hand, into which Cities fell of their own accord while he was asleep. _Timotheus_ without expressing the least discontent upon it, said to those who shewed him that Picture, _If I take such fine Cities while I am asleep, what shall I do when I am awake?_ 34 _Timotheus_, qui ètoit estimé heureux dans ses entreprises, fut par quelques envieux representé avec des filets en main, où les Villes venoient se jetter pendant qu’il dormoit; _Timotheus_, sans en temoigner le moindre chagrin, dit à ceux qui lui montroient cette Peinture: _Si je prens de si belles Villes en dormant, que ferai je quand je serai èveillé?_ 35 _Sylla_ who robbed the Temples to pay his Soldiers, was told that as they were going to plunder that of _Apollo_ at _Delphos_, a noise of some Instruments was heard there; _so much the better_, answered he, _for since_ Apollo _plays on his Lyre, ’tis a sign he is pleased, and is not angry with us_. 35 _Sylla_ qui dépoüilloit les Temples pour payer ses Soldats, fut averti que comme on alloit piller celui d’_Apollon_ à _Delphes_, on y avoit oüy le son de quelques Instrumens, _Tant mieux_, répondit-il, _puisqu’ Apollon jouë de sa Lyre, c’est une marque qu’il est de belle humeur, & qu’il n’est point irrité contre nous_. 36 _Alexander’s_ Generals complained to him just before the Battle of _Arbella_, that his Soldiers had been so insolent, as to demand a Promise that the whole Booty should be theirs: _Come on_, said he, _that’s a sign of Victory; those that speak with so much assurance do not design to run away_. 36 Les Capitaines d’_Alexandre_ se plaignirent à la journée d’_Arbelles_, que ses Soldats avoient l’insolence de vouloir qu’on leur promît tout le butin: _Courage_, leur dit-il, _c’est un presage de la victoire: quand on parle avec cette asseurance là, on n’a pas envie de fuir_. 37 _Diogenes_ came to _Cheronea_ when _Philip_ his Army was there; he was taken by the Soldiers and carried before the King, who not knowing him, told him that without doubt he was a Spy, and came to observe him. _Thou sayest right_, answered _Diogenes_, _for I came hither to observe thy Folly, in that not being contented with the Kingdom of_ Macedon, _thou seekest at the hazard of thy Dominions, to Usurpe the Province of thy Neighbours_. The King admiring the boldness of this Man, commanded him to be set at Liberty. 37 _Diogene_ vint à _Cheronée_ lorsque l’armée de _Philippe_ y étoit; il fut pris par ses Soldats, & conduit au Roi qui ne le connoissant pas, lui dit que sans doute il étoit un Espion, qui venoit pour l’observer: _Tu as raison_, repondit _Diogene_, _car je suis venu en ce lieu pour observer ta folie, qui fait que non content du Royaume de_ Macedoine, _tu cherches, au peril de ta vie, & de tes Etats, à usurper les Provinces de tes voisins_. Le Roy admirant la hardiesse de cét homme commanda qu’on le mît en liberté. 38 _Julius Cesar_ going through a little Village, some of his Friends took notice of the Tranquility of the Inhabitants, and asked him whether he thought there was any great canvassing and interest made for the Magistracy: _I had rather_, answered _Cesar_, _be the first Man in this Village, than the second at_ Rome. 38 _Jules Cesar_ passant dans un petit bourg, quelques uns de ses amis qui remarquoient la tranquilité des habitans, lui demanderent, s’il croyoit qu’il y eût là de grandes brigues pour le gouvernement: _J’aimerois mieux_, répondit _Cesar_, _être le premier dans ce village, que d’étre le second à_ Rome. 39 _Darius_’s Mother, then Prisoner of _Alexander_, excusing her self to him, for that in one visit wherewith he honoured her, she by a mistake, had paid to _Ephestion_, who accompained him, the Respect due to the King: said _Alexander_ comforting her, _be not concerned at it, Madam, you were not mistaken, for he whom you saluted is another_ Alexander. 39 La Mere de _Darius_ prisonniere d’_Alexandre_, lui faisant ses excuses de ce qu’en une visite dont il l’honora, elle avoit par meprise rendu à _Ephestion_, qui l’accompagnoit, les respects dûs à ce Roy: _Alexandre_, lui dit en la rasseurant, _ne vous troublez point, Madame, vous ne vous êtes pas trompée celui que vous avez salué est un autre_ Alexandre. 40 _Chilo_, one of the seven wise Men of _Grece_, to give us to understand, that one ought to be moderate and cautious in ones Affections, said, _We must love a Friend so as we may one Day hate him; and we must hate no Body but with a regard that we may afterwards unite Friendship with him_. 40 _Chilon_ un des sept Sages de la _Grece_, pour nous faire entendre qu’il falloit être moderé & prudent dans ses affections, disoit: _Il faut aimer un ami comme le pouvant haïr quelque jour, & il ne faut haïr personne, qu’en vüe qu’on peut ensuite noüer amitié avec lui_. 41 One comforting King _Philip_ upon the Death of _Hipparchus_, told him, that his Friend being stricken in Years, Death was not come upon him before his time; _True_, said _Philip_, _Death is come in time for him; but since I had not yet honoured him with Benefits worthy of our Friendship, his Death, as to me, is untimely_. 41 Quelqu’un consolant le Roi _Philippe_ de la mort d’_Hypparchus_, lui disoit que cét ami étant déjà fort âgé, la mort ne l’avoit point attaqué avant le temps. _Il est vray_, répondit _Philippe_, _que la mort est venuë à temps pour lui, mais puisque je ne l’avois pas encore honnoré des Biens faits dignes de nôtre amitié, sa mort, à mon ègard, est premature_. 42 A Criminal sentenced to Death, was bailed out of Prison by one of his Friends, who remained Prisoner till the other had settled some Business, which assoon as he had done he surrendred himself again; _Dionysius_ the Tyrant surprized at the Assurance of the one, and the Faithfulness of the other, pardoned the Malefactor: _And in requital of my Pardon_, said he, _I beseech you to admit me as a third into your Friendship_. 42 Un Criminel condamné à la Mort, sur le cautionnement d’un de ses Amis qui demeura en sa place sortit de Prison pour aller regler quelques Affaires, & revint aussi-tôt qu’il les eût achevées: _Denis_ le Tyran surpris de l’asseurance de l’un, & de la fidelité de l’autre, pardonna au Criminel: _En reconnoissance_, dit-il, _de ma grace, je vous conjure de me recevoir pour troisiéme en vôtre amitié_. 43 _Memnon_ King _Darius_’s General, in his War against _Alexander_, hearing one of his Soldiers belch out many injurious Words against that great Enemy, he gave him a great blow with a Halbert, and told him, _I pay thee to fight against_ Alexander, _and not to abuse him_. 43 _Memnon_ Capitaine de _Darius_, dans la Guerre qu’il avoit contre _Alexandre_, entendant un de ses Soldats vomir insolemment beaucoup d’injures contre ce grand Ennemi, il lui donna un grand coup de Hallebarde; en lui disant, _je te paye afin que tu combattes contre_ Alexandre, _non pas afin que tu l’injuries_. 44 The Physician of _Pyrrhus_ having offered to _Fabricius_, the _Roman_ General, to Poison his Master, _Fabricius_ sent back that Traitor’s Letter to _Pyrrhus_, with these Words, _Prince, know better for the future, how to choose both your Friends and Foes_. To requite this Benefit, _Pyrrhus_ sent back all the Prisoners: But _Fabricius_ received them only upon Condition that he would accept of as many of his, and writ to him: _Do not believe_ Pyrrhus, _I have discovered this Treachery to you, out of a particular regard to your Person, but because the_ Romans _shun base Stratagems, and will not triumph but with open Force_. 44 Le Medecin de _Phyrrus_ s’ètant offert à _Fabricius_ general des _Romains_, d’empoisonner son Maître, _Fabricius_ renvoya la lettre de ce Traitre à _Phyrrus_ avec ces Mots; _Prince, songez à l’avenir à faire un meilleur choix de vos Amis, & de vos Ennemis_. En reconnoissance de ce bienfait, _Phyrrus_ lui renvoya tous les Prisonniers: Mais _Fabricius_ ne les reçût qu’à la charge de lui en rendre autant des siens, & lui manda: _Ne crois pas_, Phyrrus, _que je t’aye decouvert cette Trahison, par une consideration particuliere de ta Personne, mais parce que les_ Romains _fuyent les lâches Artifices, & ne veulent triompher qu’à force ouverte_. 45 _Diogenes_ being asked of what Beast the biting was most dangerous, answered, _if you mean wild Beasts, ’tis the Slanderer’s, if tame one’s, the Flatterer’s_. 45 _Diogene_ interrogé quelle Bête mordoit le plus dangereusement, répondit: _Si vous parlez des Bêtes farouches, c’est le medisant; si des animaux domestiques, c’est le flateur_. 46 _Antigonus_ hearing a Poet call him Son of _Jupiter_; _My Valet de Chamber_, said he smiling, _who empties my Close-stool, knows but too well that I am but a Man_. 46 _Antigonus_ entendant un Poëte flateur l’appeller Fils de _Jupiter_: _Mon Valet de chambre_, dit-il en soûriant, _qui vuide ma chaise percée sçait trop bien que je ne suis qu’un Homme_. 47 Whereas Kings are surrounded with Flatterers, and that Horses have no particular regard for them, _Carneades_ used to say, _That Princes learn nothing well, but to ride on Horseback_. 47 Comme les Rois sont environnez de Flateurs, & que les seuls Chevaux ne gardent point avec eux de mesures, _Carneades_ disoit: _que les Princes n’apprennent rien comme il faut qu’à bien manier un Cheval_. 48 _Sesostris_ King of _Ægypt_, having caused four of his Captive Kings, instead of Horses, to draw his Triumphal Chariot, one of these four cast his Eyes contiually upon the two foremost Wheels next him, which _Sesostris_ observing, ask’d him what he found worthy of his Admiration in that Motion; to whom the Captive King answer’d, _That in those Wheels he beheld the mutability of all worldly Things; for that the lowest part of the Wheel was suddenly carried above and became the highest, and the uppermost part was as suddenly turned downwards_; which when _Sesostris_ had judiciosly weighed, he dismist those Kings from their Servitude. 48 _Sesostris_ Roy d’_Egypte_, ayant fait tirer son char de Triomphe par quatre Rois Captifs, au lieu de Chevaux, un d’eux tenoit la veuë attachée sur les Roües de devant qui ètoient prés de lui, ce que _Sesostris_ remarquant, il lui demanda ce qu’il trouvoit digne d’admiration dans ce mouvement. A quoi le Roy Captif répondit: _je contemple dans ces Roües l’inconstance des choses humaines, d’autant que la partie la plus basse de la rouë est tout d’un coup portée en haut, & devient la plus élevée; & la plus haute est portée en bas avec autant de vitesse_; _Sesostris_ ayant meurement reflechi là dessus, mit ces Rois en liberté. 49 Some Body twitting _Hiero_ the Tyrant with a stinking Breath, he chid his Wife for not telling him of it before: _I thought_, answered she, _all Mens Breaths smelled like yours_. 49 On reprocha au Tiran _Hieron_ qu’il avoit l’haleine puante, il reprit sa Femme de ne l’en avoir jamais averti; _Je croyois_, répondit-elle, _que tous les Hommes eussent l’haleine de même odeur que vous_. 50 One asked _Charillus_, why at _Lacedemon_ Maids went bare-faced, when Married Women were vailed: _Because_, answered he, _the first look for Husbands, and the others are afraid to lose them by Jealousie and Divorce,_ 50 On demandoit à _Charillus_ pourquoi à _Lacedemone_ les Filles marchoient le visage decouvert, veu que les Femmes ètoient voilées, c’est répondit il: _parce que les unes cherchent un mari, & que les autres ont peur de le perdre par la jalousie & par le divorce_. 51 _Diogenes_ seeing over the Door of a new Married Man, these written Words, _Hence all Evil_; said he, _After Death the Physician_. The same Philosopher perceiving one Day some Women hanged on an Olive-tree: _Would to God_, cried he, _all other Trees bore the like Fruit_. 51 _Diogene_ voyant sur la porte d’un nouveau marié ces Mots écrits, _loin d’ici le Mal_, il dit, _Aprés la Mort le Medecin_. Le même Philosophe apperceût un jour des Femmes penduës à un Olivier: _Plût à Dieu_, s’écria-t-il, _que tous les autres Arbres portassent un semblable fruit_! 52 _Paulus Æmilius_ divorced a Wife, who seemed to be Mistress of all the Qualifications necessary to make her beloved. This Divorcement surprized a great many; but he told them, shewing them his Shoe, _You see that this Shoe fits me, and is well made, but you don’t see where it wrings me_. 52 _Paulus Æmilius_ repudia une Femme qui paroissoit avoir tous les avantages capables de se faire aimer. Ce divorce ètonnoit bien des Gens, mais il leur dit en montrant son Soulier: _Vous voyez que ce Soulier est propre, qu’il est bien fait: mais vous ne voyez pas où il blesse_. 53 _Diogenes_ said to a young hare-brained Fellow, that threw Stones at a Gibbet; _Well, I see thou’lt touch the mark at last_. 53 _Diogene_ dit à un jeune étourdi qui jettoit des Pierres vers un Gibet: _Courage, je vois bien qu’enfin tu toucheras au but_. 54 _C. Popilius_, who, as Ignorant as he was, set up for a Lawyer, being one Day summoned to be a Witness, answered he knew nothing: _You think, perhaps_, said _Cicero_ to him, _that you are asked Questions about Law_. 54 _C. Popilius_ qui tout ignorant qu’il ètoit s’érigeoit en Jurisconsulte, ètant un jour appellé en témoignage, répondit qu’il ne savoit rien: _Vous pensez peut être_, lui dit _Ciceron_, _qu’on vous Interroge sur des questions de Droit?_ 55 _Melanthus_, a Parasite of _Alexander_ King of _Pheres_, being asked how his Master died, made this pleasant Answer: _he died by a Sword that run through his Thigh, and my Belly at once_. 55 _Melanthus_ Parasite d’_Alexandre_, Roy de _Pheres_, interrogé comment son Maître ètoit Mort, répondit plaisamment: _Il est mort d’un coup d’Epée qui lui perça la cuisse & mon ventre en même tems._ 56 _Plato_, said, _that Hopes are the Dreams of those that are awake_. 56 _Platon_ disoit, _que les Esperances sont les songes des Personnes éveillées_. 57 As two Men courted _Themistocles’s_ Daughter in Marriage, one of which was a Fool, but rich, the other Poor, but wise and honest; he chose this last for his Son-in-law, and answered to those who wondred at it: _I esteem more a Man without Riches, than Riches without a Man_. 57 De deux hommes qui recherchoient la Fille de _Themistocles_, l’un sot, mais riche: l’autre pauvre, mais sage & honnête homme, il prit ce dernier pour son gendre, & répondit à ceux qui s’en ètonnoient: _J’aime mieux un Homme sans richesses, que des richesses sans Homme._ 58 _Alexander_ the Great, took in the Wars a certain _Indian_, who had such a skill in Shooting, that he could pass his Arrows through a Ring placed at a certain distance. He commanded him to make a trial of it before him; and because the _Indian_ refused, he ordered he should be slain. Those that led him to his Punishment enquiring into the Reason of his refusal, the _Indian_ answered, _Having for a long time left off the Exercise of my Art, I chuse to suffer Death rather than to venture the loss of my Reputation, if I should miss before_ Alexander: Which being told again to that Emperour, he not only commanded he should be set at Liberty, but also gave him many Gifts, admiring his great Spirit and Resolution. 58 _Alexandre_ le grand prit en Guerre un _Indien_, si adroit à tirer de l’Arc, qu’il faisoit passer ses Flêches par un anneau placé à une certaine distance, il lui commanda d’en faire l’essai devant lui, & sur le refus qu’en fit l’_Indien_, il ordonna qu’on le fit mourir. Ceux qui le conduisoient au supplice, s’informant du sujet de son refus, l’_Indien_ repondit: _Comme j’ai été long tems sans exercer mon art, j’ai mieux aimé souffrir la Mort, que de m’exposer à perdre ma Reputation, en manquant devant_ Alexandre. Ce qui ètant rapporté à cet Empereur, non seulement il le fit mettre en liberté, mais même il lui fit de grands Presents, admirant son courage & sa fermeté. 59 The Favourites of the Emperour _Trajan_, taking notice that he received every Body with great Familiarity, told him he forgot the grandeur of his Majesty: _I will take care_, answered he, _That my People shall find in me such an Emperour as I could wish to have one my self, if I was a private Man_. 59 Les Favoris de l’Empereur _Trajan_ le voyant recevoir tout le monde fort familierement, lui remontroient qu’il oublioit la grandeur de sa Majesté: _je veux_, répondit-il, _que mon Peuple trouve en moy un Empereur, tel que je souhaiterois en avoir un si j’étois Homme privé_. 60 _Agathocles_ from a mean Fortune, being advanced to the Royal Dignity, would be served at Table with Earthen-ware, and being asked the reason: _I intend_, answered he, _that the remembrance of my Extraction from a Potter, shall check that Pride which the vain Pomp of_ R_oyalty may raise in me_. 60 _Agathocles_ ètant parvenu de bas lieu â la dignité Royalle, vouloit qu’on le servit à Table en Vaisselle de Terre, & quand on lui en demandoit la cause: _je veux_, répondit-il, _que le souvenir de l’Origine que je tire d’un Potier de Terre, rabatte l’orgueil, dont le vain appareil de la Royauté pourroit me surprendre_. 61 _Alexander_ sitting on the Judgment Seat to decide Criminal Causes, kept always one of his Ears stopt, while the Accuser was pleading; and being asked the reason: _I keep_, said he, _the other Ear entire to hear the Party accused_. 61 _Alexandre_ ètant assis sur le Tribunal pour juger les Causes criminelles, tenoit toûjours une Oreille bouchée pendant que l’Accusateur plaidoit, & comme on lui en demandoit la raison, _je reserve_, dit-il, _l’autre Oreille entiere pour entendre l’Accusé_. 62 King _Philip_ being drowsy, and not having well heard the Cause of _Machetes_, cast him contrary to the Laws: _Machetes_ cryed out presently that he appealed; the King in a Passion asked him to what Judge? _I appeal_, said he, _from_ Philip _asleep_, _to_ Philip _awake_. This reply made _Philip_ recollect himself, and ordered the Cause to be tried over again, who acknowledging his Errour, he did not revoke his Sentence, but paid out of his own Pocket the Sum which he had adjudged _Machetes_ to pay. 62 Le Roy _Philippe_ assoupi, ayant mal entendu la cause de _Machetes_, il le condamna contre les Loix; _Machetes_ s’écria aussi-tôt qu’il en appelloit. Le Roy en colere lui demanda à quel Juge? _j’en appelle_, répondit-il, _de_ Philippe _endormi_, _à_ Philippe _éveillé_. Ce Mot fit rentrer _Philippe_ en lui même; il fit derechef plaider la cause, & voyant en effet son erreur, il ne cassa pas à la verité son arrest, mais il paya lui même de ses deniers la somme à laquelle il avoit condamné _Machetes_. 63 Two Criminals accused one another before the same King: This Prince having patiently heard them both, said, _I condemn this Fellow presently to depart my Kingdom, and the other to run after him_. 63 Deux Criminels s’accusoient l’un l’autre devant ce même Roy: Ce Prince aprés les avoir écoutez patiemment, dit: _je condamne celui ci à sortir promptement de mon Royaume, & l’autre à courir aprés_. 64 In the Tryal of a Cause, whereof _Aristides_ was Judge, one of the Parties related several Abuses which the same _Aristides_ had received from his adverse Party: _Let that pass_, said _Aristides_, _I am not here to be my own Judge, but yours only_. 64 Dans une cause où _Aristide_ ètoit juge, une des Parties rapporta plusieurs injures que ce même _Aristide_ avoit receu de sa partie adverse: _Passez cela_, dit _Aristide, venez au fait: je ne suis pas ici mon juge, je ne suis que le vôtre_. 65 _Marcus Aurelius_ said to some Persons who would keep his Son from weeping for his Tutors death; _Suffer my Son to be a Man before he be an Emperour_. 65 _Marc Aurele_ dit à quelques Personnes qui vouloient empêcher son Fils de pleurer la Mort de son Precepteur: _Souffrez que mon Fils soit Homme, avant que d’être Empereur_. 66 _Dionysius_ seeing that his Son had gathered a great quantity of Gold and Silver Vessels, out of the Gifts he had made him, told him: _I do not find in thee a Royal Soul, since thou hast neglected to get thy self Friends by the distribution of those Riches_. 66 _Denys_ voyant que son Fils avoit amassé une grande quantité de Vases d’Or & d’Argent des dons qu’il lui avoit fait, il lui dit, _je ne connois point en toi une Ame Royale, puis que tu as negligé de te faire des amis par la distribution de ces Richesses_. 67 The same _Dionysius_ asked _Diogenes_ what Brass he should take to make himself a Statue: _Take that_, answered he, _of the Statues of_ Harmodius _and_ Aristogiton. These were two famous Murderers of Tyrants, to whom Statues had been erected. 67 Le même _Denys_ demanda à _Diogene_ quel Cuivre il prendroit pour se faire une Statuë: _Prenez_, lui répondit-il, _celui des Statuës_ d’Harmodius & d’Aristogiton. C’ètoient deux fameux tueurs de Tyrans à qui on avoit dressé des Statues. 68 An old Soldier having a Sute at Law depending, desired the Emperour _Augustus_ to come and support him with his Interest: This Prince gave him one of his Attendance to take care of his Business; whereupon the Soldier was so bold as to tell him: _Sir, I did not use you the same way; for when you was in danger at the Battel of_ Actium, _I my self fought for you without a Deputy_. 68 Un ancien Soldat ayant un procez à soûtenir, pria l’Empereur _Auguste_ de le venir secourir de son credit. Ce Prince lui donna un de ceux qui l’accompagnoient pour avoir soin de son affaire; là dessus le Soldat fut assez osé pour lui dire: _Seigneur, je n’en ai pas usé de la sorte à vôtre égard: quand vous ètiez en danger dans la Bataille d’_Actium, _moi-même, sans chercher de Substitut, j’ay combatu pour vous_. 69 The Poet _Simonides_ asked of _Themistocles_ something contrary to the Laws; he dismist him with these Words: _If in thy Poems thou shouldest make Verses without Measures, wouldest thou be accounted a good Poet? And if I should do Things contrary to the Constitution of the Laws, should I be accounted a good Prince?_ 69 Le Poëte _Simonide_ demandant à _Themistocle_ quelque chose de contraire aux Loix, il le renvoya avec ce Mot: _si dans tes Poemes tu faisois des Vers contre la mesure, passerois tu pour un bon Poëte? Et si je faisois des choses contraires à la disposition des Loix, devroit on m’estimer un bon Prince?_ 70 The Ambassadours the _Athenians_ had sent to _Philip_, being returned to _Athens_, commended that Prince for his Beauty and Eloquence, and his being able to drink much: _These Commendations_, said _Demosthenes, are little worthy of a King; the first of those advantages is proper to Women, the second to Rhetoricians, and the third to Spunges_. 70 Les Ambassadeurs que les _Atheniens_ avoit envoyé vers _Philippe_, ètant retournez à _Athenes_, loüoient ce Prince de sa beauté, de son Eloquence, & de sa force à boire beaucoup: _Ces loüanges_, répondit _Demosthene_, _sont fort peu dignes d’un Roy_; _le premier avantage est propre aux Femmes, le second aux Rhetoriciens, & le troisiéme aux êponges_. 71 _Bion_ being asked whether one should marry a Wife, answered, _if you marry an ugly one, you’ll marry a torment_; _if you take a handsom one, you’ll have a common Woman_. 71 _Bion_ interrogé s’il falloit épouser une Femme, répondit. _si vous en prenez une laide, vous épouserez un supplîce; si vous en prenez une belle vous aurez une Femme publique._ 72 _Hipparchia_ being desperately in love with _Crates_ the Philosopher, courted him for a Husband, and neither her Relations, nor that Philosopher himself could disswade her from it: _But_, said _Crates_ to her, _do you know what you are in love with? I will be plain with you; Here is your Husband_, said he, pulling off his Cloak; then throwing off his Bag and his Stick: _Here is_, added he, shewing his crooked-back, _my Wife’s Jointure; see whether you are contented with it, and whether you can like this way of living_. She accepted of all those Conditions, and so he married her. 72 _Hipparchia_ éperduëment amoureuse du Philosophe _Crates_, le rechercha en mariage, sans qui ni les Parens, ni ce Philosophe même, pussent la detourner de sa poursuite. _Mais_, lui dit _Crates_, _connoissez vous bien ce que vous aimez? je ne veux rien vous cacher, voilà l’Epoux_, dit-il ôtant son manteau; puis jettant son sac & son baton; _voilà_, ajoûta-t-il en montrant sa bosse, _le Doüaire de ma Femme: Voyez si vous en êtes contente, & si vous pouvez vous accommoder de cette façon de Vie_. Elle accepta toutes ces conditions là, & il l’épousa. 73 The _Hebrews_ say that when a Man takes a Wife, he must go down a Step; and that to make a Friend, he ought to go up one; because the one must protect us, and the other be obedient to her Husband. 73 Les _Hebreux_ disent que pour prendre une Femme, il faut descendre un degré; & que pour faire un ami il faut en monter un; parce qu’il faut que l’un nous protege, & que l’autre obeïsse à son mari. 74 A cowardly and unskilful Wrestler being turned Physician, _Diogenes_ told him: _What! have you a mind to lay on the Ground those who used to fling you down?_ 74 Un Lâche & mal à droit Luitteur s’ètant fait Medecin, _Diogene_ lui-dit: _Hé quoi! vous avez donc envie de coucher par Terre ceux qui vous ont renversé?_ 75 _Alcibiades_ cut off the Tail of his Dog, which was extraordinary fine, and of great value; and as the People who saw that Dog go about the Streets without a Tail, wondered at the oddness of the thing, he said: _I have done it with design that the People talking about this Trifle, may not censure my more important Actions_. 75 _Alcibiade_ coupa la queuë à son Chien, qui ètoit d’une beauté & d’un prix extraordinaire, & comme le Peuple qui voyoit ce Chien marcher en cét état dans les Ruës, s’ètonnoit de cette Bizarrerie, il dit, _je l’ai fait afin que le Peuple s’entretenant de cette Bagatelle, ne s’arrête point à controller mes autres Actions plus importantes_. 76 _Smicythus_ accused _Nicanor_ of speaking ill of _Philip_. This Prince who had an esteem for _Nicanor_, sent for him, and understanding that he was provoked by the Kings not relieving his extream Indigence, he ordered him a Sum of Money. Some time after _Smicythus_ relating to _Philip_ how _Nicanor_ proclaimed his Bounty every where: _Well_, said he to him, _you see we are Masters of our own Reputation, and that we may turn Calumnies into Commendations_. 76 _Smicythus_ accusa _Nicanor_ de parler mal de _Philippe_. Ce Prince, qui avoit quelque estime pour _Nicanor_ le fit venir, & ayant appris qu’il ètoit indigné de ce que le Roy ne songeoit point à soulager son extreme indigence, il lui fit distribüer quelque somme. Peu de tems aprés _Smicythus_ rapportant à _Philippe_ que _Nicanor_ publioit par tout ses bontez: _Hé bien_, lui dit-il, _vous voyez que nous sommes Maîtres de nôtre Reputation, & que nous pouvons changer toutes les Calomnies en Loüanges_. 77 As one asked _Zeno_ whether wise men ought not to love: _If wise men did not love_, answered he, _nothing in the World could be so wretched as the Fair, since none but Fools should be in Love with them_. 77 Comme on demandoit à _Zenon_ si les Sages ne devoient point aimer: _si les Sages n’aimoient point_, répondit-il, _il n’y auroit rien au monde de plus malheureux que les belles, elles ne seroient aimées que des sots_. 78 One of _Agesilaus_ his Friends having found him playing with his Children, and riding on a Hobby-horse, seemed to be surprized at it; but the King told him: _Pray tell no Body what thou seest till thou hast Children of thy own_. 78 _Agesilaüs_ pour joüer avec ses enfans marchoit à califourchons sur un bâton; un de ses Amis le trouvant en cét état témoigna de la surprise; mais ce Roi, lui dit: _je te prie de ne rien dire à personne de ce que tu vois, jusques à ce que tu ayes des Enfans_. 79 _Philip_ King of _Macedon_, designing to make himself Master of a Cittadel, was told by his Spies that the thing was impossible, by reason that there was no way to come at it. _Is the way so difficult_, asked the King, _that a Mule laden with Gold and Silver cannot go to it?_ and being answered no, _then_, replied he, _it is not impregnable_. 79 _Philippe_ Roi de _Macedoine_ ayant resolu de prendre une Citadelle, les espions lui rapporterent que cela ne se pouvoit pas, parce qu’elle étoit inaccessible. _Le chemin_, demanda-t-il, _est il si difficile qu’on n’y puisse faire entrer un mulet chargé d’Or & d’Argent?_ & comme ils lui répondirent que non, _elle n’est donc pas imprenable_, repliqua-t-il. 80 The Night before _Darius_ dispos’d his Troops to the fight, _Alexander_ was in so profound a sleep, that it lasted still several Hours after Sun-rise; his Men frighted at the approach of the Enemies Army, awaked him; and as they wondered at his Tranquility: _Be not surprised_, said he, _at my sleeping so securely_: Darius _has rid me of a great many Cares, since by gathering this Day all his Forces into one Body, he has given to Valour an opportunity of deciding in one single Battle the fortune of us both_. 80 La Veille que _Darius_ disposa ses troupes au combat, _Alexandre_ dormoit d’un si profond sommeil, qu’il dura encore plusieurs heures aprés le levé du Soliel; ses gens, effrayez de l’armée Ennemie qui s’approchoit l’éveillerent, & comme ils s’étonnoient de sa tranquillité: _ne soyez pas surpris_, leur dit-il, _si je dors si paisiblement_: Darius _m’a delivré de beaucoup de soucis, puisqu’en ramassant aujourd-hui toutes ses forces en un corps, il a donnê à la valeur le moyen de decider, en un combat, de toute nôtre fortune_. 81 _Dionysius_ Tyrant of _Syracuse_ being told that one of his Subjects had buried a Treasure in the Earth, commanded him to bring it to him. The _Syracusan_ gave him but part of it, and having secretly kept the other, he went into another City, where he liv’d more plentifully then he did before; which being related to _Dionysius_, he restored him the remainder of his Treasure. _Now_, said he, _that he knows how to use riches, he deserves to enjoy them_. 81 _Denis_ Tyran de _Syracuse_, ayant appris qu’un de ses sujets avoit caché dans Terre un tresor, il lui commanda de le lui apporter. Le _Siracusain_ ne lui en donna qu’une partie & en ayant retenu l’autre secrettement, il s’en alla dans une autre ville où il vécut plus liberalement qu’il n’avoit fait. _Denis_ l’ayant appris, lui rendit le reste de son tresor: _A present_, dit-t-il, _qu’il sçait bien user des richesses, il merite de les posseder_. 82 _Philip_ King of _Macedon_ being a Hostage at _Thebes_, _Philo_ the _Theban_ received him into his House, and entertained him with great Kindness; some time after, this Prince would have acknowledged his Benefits by Presents; but the generous _Philo_ obstinately persisting to refuse them: _Oh! dear_ Philo, said he, _do not rob me now of the honour I have hitherto preserved, of having never been overcome in point of Benefits_. 82 _Philippe_ Roy de _Macedoine_ étant en otage à _Thebes_, _Philon_ le _Thebain_ le receut en sa Maison, & lui fit de grandes Amitiez. Ce Prince voulut quelque tems aprés par ses Presens reconnoítre ses bontez, & voyant que le généreux _Philon_ les refusoit obstinement: _Ah! cher_ Philon, lui dit-il, _ne me derobez pas aujourd hui la gloire que j’ai toûjours jusques-ici conservée précieusement, de ne voir personne au monde qui me surmonte en matiere de Bien faits_. 83 _Taxillus_ King of the _Indies_ came to meet _Alexander_, and spoke to him thus, _I challenge thee to fight, not with Arms, but Benefits; if thou art inferiour to me, thou shalt receive some from me; but if on the contrary thou art more powerful, thou shalt honour me with thy Favours. I accept the noble Challenge_, answered _Alexander_, embracing him, _We shall see which of us two shall get the better in Courtesy_. Thus instead of taking his Kingdom from him, he enlarged the extent of it. 83 _Taxille_ Roy des _Indes_ vint au devant d’_Alexandre_, & lui parla en ces Termes: _je t’appelle au Combat, non pas des Armes mais des Bienfaits; si tu m’es inferieur, tu en recevras de moy, si au contraire tu es le plus puissant, tu m’honoreras de tes faveurs_: _j’accepte ce noble defi_; répondit, _Alexandre_ en l’embrassant, _nous verrons en Bienfaits qui de nous l’Emportera_; ainsi bien loin de le depouiller de son Royaume, il en augmenta l’étenduë. 84 The Emperour _Titus_ remembring once at Supper that during that Day he had done no Body a kindness: _My Friends_, said he, _I have lost this Day_. 84 L’Empereur _Titus_ se souvenant une fois en soupant, que pendant ce jour là il n’avoit fait du bien à Personne: _Mes Amis_, dit-il, _j’ay perdu cette journée_. 85 _Julius Cesar_ divorced his Wife _Pompeia_ because her Reputation was not altogether without blemish, and that she was suspected of having an Amour with _Clodius_: _Clodius_ was accused upon that account; and _Cesar_ being summon’d to depose against him, said, _he never could find that he had done any ill thing with his Wife: Why then did you part from her?_ ask’d somebody; _Because_, answered he, Cesars _Wife ought to live with so much reserve as to be even beyond the reach of Calumny_. 85 _Jules Cesar_ repudia _Pompeia_ sa Femme, à cause que sa reputation n’ètoit pas fort honnête, & qu’on la soupçonnoit d’avoir commerce avéc _Clodius_; comme on accusoit celui-ci de Crime, _Cesar_ appellé pour deposer contre lui, dit, _qu’il n’avoit pas reconnu qu’il eût fait aucun mal avec sa Femme_; _pourquoy donc l’avez vous repudiée_, lui dit on, _parce que_, répondit-il, _il faut que l’Epouse de_ Cesar, _vive avec tant de Modestie, qu’elle soit même hors des atteintes de la Calomnie_. 86 _Attalus_ upon a false report that his Brother _Eumenes_ was dead, made himself Master of the Kingdom, and married his Widow: Some time after, hearing that _Eumenes_ was return’d into his Dominions, he left the Crown, and without any other Attendance than that of a private Man, went to meet him. _Eumenes_ was contented to wisper him by way of Expostulation: _Brother, I hope another time you won’t be so hasty to marry my Wife before you have seen me buried_. 86 _Attalus_ sur un faux bruit que son Frere _Eumenes_ étoit decedé, s’empara de l’Empire, & même épousa sa veuve: quelque tems aprés, comme il apprit qu’_Eumenes_ revenoit en son Royaume, il quitta la couronne, & sans autre équipage que celui d’un homme privé, s’en vint au devant de lui. _Eumenes_ pour tout reproche, se contenta de lui dire à voix basse: _Une autre fois, mon Frere, vous ne vous hâterez pas d’épouser ma Femme, avant que vous ne m’ayez veu enterrer._ 87 _Pompey_ having found several important Letters from _Rome_ among _Sertorius’s_ Papers, he burnt them all unperus’d; _I ought_, said he, _to give an opportunity of Repenting, to those who have failed by disobliging me_. 87 Comme entre les Papiers de _Sertorius_, _Pompée_ eût trouvé plusieurs Lettres considerables de _Rome_, il les brula toutes sans les vouloir lire; _il faut_, dit-il, _donner moyen de se repentir, à ceux qui ont failli en me desobligeant_. 88 _Antigonus_’s Soldiers being angry because he had made them incamp in a very incommodious Place, spoke very saucily of him near a Tent, where they did not think he was. _Antigonus_, who over-heard them, contented himself to take up the Curtain of his Tent with a Stick, and tell them: _If you do not go further off to rail at me, i’ll make you repent it_. 88 Les Soldats d’_Antigonus_, fâchez de ce qu’il les avoit fait camper dans un lieu fort incommode, parloient de lui en des termes fort insolens prés d’une Tente où ils ne croyoient pas qu’il fût: _Antigonus_ qui les entendit, se contenta de lever le rideau de sà Tente avec un Bâton, & de leur dire; _si vous n’allez pas plus loin d’ici medire de moy, je vous en ferai repentir_. 89 _Athenodorus_ the Philosopher having upon account of his Age, got leave of _Cesar Augustus_ to go home; he told him at parting, as an important piece of Advice: _Sir, whenever you are in a Passion, remember not to do what it suggests to you, before you have pronounced the four and twenty Letters of the Alphabet._ 89 Le Philosophe _Athenodorus_ ayant, sous prétexte de sa vieillesse, obtenu de _Cesar Auguste_ la permission de se retirer chez soy, pour avis important, il lui dit en prenant congé de lui. _Quand la colere vous surprendra, Seigneur, souvenez vous de ne rien faire de ce qu’elle vous suggerera qu’aprés avoir prononcé les vingt quatre Lettres de l’Alpbabet._ 90 _Augustus_ having made a Law for the Trial and Punishment of those that were accused of Adultery, did no sooner hear that a young Man had committed the same Crime with _Julia_, Daughter to that Emperour, but he rush’d upon him and beat him with great fury; whereupon the young Man cry’d out: Cesar, _you have made a Law_. At which Words _Augustus_ acknowledging his Passion, he contained himself, and was so vex’d at it, that he would not eat a bit all that Day. 90 _Auguste_ qui avoit établi une Loy, de la maniere de juger & de punir ceux qu’on accusoit d’Adultere, n’eut pas plutot ouï qu’un jeune homme avoit commis le même crime avec _Julia_ fille de cét Empereur, qu’il se jetta sur lui, & le frappa tout furieux; alors le jeune Homme s’écria: Cesar, _vous avez fait une Loy_. _Auguste_ à ce Mot, reconnoissant son emportement, se retint, & ressentit tant de deplaisir, qu’il ne voulut rien manger de tout ce jour là. 91 _Diogenes_ said, that to become perfect, a Man had need of faithful Friends, or great Enemies; because the one by their good Advice, and the other by their sharp Reproaches, made him sensible of his defects. 91 _Diogene_ disoit, qu’un homme pour devenir parfait avoit besoin de fideles Amis, ou de grands Ennemis; parce que les uns par leurs bons avis, & les autres par leurs reproches piquans, lui faisoient sentir ses defauts. 92 _Alexander_ the Great coming into _Apelles_’s Shop, and speaking improperly of some Pictures that were there exposed to view, _Apelles_ told him frankly: _Sir, as long as you did not talk about our Art, every one here had an admiration and Respect for your Majesty; but as soon as you have pretended to judge of our Works, my very Prentices, who grind my Colours, could not forbear laughing._ 92 _Alexandre_ le grand ètant entré dans la Boutique d’_Apelles_ & parlant, en mauvais Termes de quelques Tableaux qui y ètoient exposez, _Apelles_ lui dit franchement: _Sire, tant que vous me parliez, point de nôtre Art, chacun n’avoit ici pour vôtre Majesté que de l’admiration & du Respect: Mais aussi-tôt que vous avez voulu juger de nos Ouvrages, mes Apprentiss mêmes qui broyent mes Couleurs, n’ont pû s’empêcher de rire._ 93 The same Prince being Wounded in a Fight with an Arrow, said to those who were about him: _Every one calls me Immortal, and Son of_ Jupiter: _What do you think on’t? does not this wound give the lie to all those Flatterers? This Blood that runs is of the same colour with that of my Subjects, and puts me in mind that I am but a Man._ 93 Le même Prince, ayant receu un coup de Flêche dans un Combat, dit à ceux qui l’environnoient: _Chacun m’appelle immortel, & Fils de_ Jupiter: _qu’en dites vous? cette blessure ne donne t-elle pas le dementi à tous ces Flatteurs là? ce sang qui coule n’est point d’une autre couleur que celui de mes sujets & il m’avertit que je ne suis qu’un Homme._ 94 The Emperour _Augustus_ feeling approaching Death, told those Friends who were about his Bed: _Well, my Friends, what think you, have I not during my Life pretty well acted my Part upon the Stage of the World?_ And as every one confest that no Man’s life could ever be more Illustrious, and better govern’d than his, he added these Words, which were usually spoke to the People after the Play: _Farewel then, my Friends, and clap Hands._ 94 L’Empereur _Auguste_, sentant que sa Mort approchoit, dit s’addressant à ses Amis qui ètoient autour de son Lit: _Hé bien, mes Amis, que vous en semble, n’ai-je pas pendant ma vie, assez bien joüé mon Personnage sur le Theatre du Monde?_ Et comme chacun avoüa que jamais vie ne pouvoit être plus illustre, & mieux conduite que la sienne, il ajouta ce Mot, qu’on avoit coûtume de dire au Peuple aprés la Comedie: _Adieu donc, mes Amis, frappez des Mains_. 95 Somebody came to _Socrates_ the Philosopher, to tell him the _Athenians_ had sentenced him to Death: _Nature_, said he, _has long since condemn’d them to suffer the same punishment as well as I_. 95 Quelqu’un vint dire au Philosophe _Socrate_, que les _Atheniens_ l’avoient condamné à la Mort: _Il y a long tems_, dit-il, _que la Nature les a condamnez à la même peine aussi bien que moy_. 96 When King _Philip_ came with his Army into the _Peloponesus_, one told _Damidas_, that in case the _Lacedemonians_ did not make their Peace with him, they must suffer a great deal: _You Coward_, answered he, _What can those Men suffer who are not afraid of Death?_ 96 Lorsque le Roy _Philippe_ entra avec son Armée dans les Terres du _Peloponese_, quelqu’un dit à _Damidas_, que si les _Lacedemoniens_ ne rentroient en grace avec lui, ils auroient beaucoup à souffrir: _Hé Poltron_, répondit-il, _que peuvent souffrir ceux qui ne craignent point la Mort?_ 97 One told _Anacharsis_ that the Ship he was in was but four Inches thick: _Then_, said he, _we are within four Inches of Death_. 97 On dit à _Anacharsis_, que le Navire qui le portoit n’avoit que quatre doigts d’épaisseur: _Nous ne sommes donc_, dit-il, _éloignez de la Mort que de quatre doigts_. 98 _Stratonicus_ being asked what sort of Ships were safest, answered: _The safest are those that are taken out of the Sea and laid up on firm Land_. 98 _Stratonicus_ ètant interrogé quelle sorte de Vaisseaux ètoient les plus seurs, il répondit: _les plus seurs sont ceux qu’on a tiré de la Mer en terre ferme_. 99 The Emperour _Tiberius_ seldom changed the Officers, Governours and Magistrates of his Empire, and being asked the reason, he answered: _When Flies are full they don’t sting so much as they did before_. 99 L’Empereur _Tibere_ changeoit rarement les Officiers, les Gouverneurs, & les Magistrats de son Empire, & quand on lui en demandoit la raison, il repondit: _quand les Mouches sont saoules, elles ne piquent plus si fort qu’auparavant_. 100 A Painter shewing an ill Picture, bragg’d that he had finish’d it in a very little Time: _you need not tell us of it_, said _Apelles_, _your Picture speaks it planly enough_. 100 Un Peintre montrant un mauvais Tableau, se vantoit de l’avoir achevé en fort peu de tems: _tu n’as que faire_, dit _Apelles_, _de nous en avertir, ton Tableau le dit assez_. 101 _Melanthus_ hearing the Philosopher _Gorgias_ exhort in Publick the _Grecians_ to Concord; _This is a fine Man indeed_, said he, _thus to endeavour to perswade all these_ Grecians _to that Peace and Unity which he cannot settle at home betwixt himself, his Wife and his Maid_. 101 _Melanthus_ entendant le Philosophe _Gorgias_ exhorter publiquement les _Grecs_ à la Concorde: _Cét homme a bonne Grace_, dit-il, _de vouloir persuader à tous ces_ Grecs _la Paix & l’Union, qu’il ne sauroit établir chez soy entre lui-même, sa Femme & sa Servante_. 102 _Demetrius Phalereus_ used to exhort _Ptolomeus_ to gather Books about Civil and Military Politicks: _Because_, said he, _Kings will find in such Books those Things that their Friends dare not to tell them_. To which purpose _Alphonsus_ King of _Aragon_ said: _Books are the Counsellors I like best; ’tis not either Fear or Hope that will hinder them to tell me what I ought to do_. 102 _Demetrius Phalereus_ avoit coutume d’exhorter le Roy _Ptolomée_ de ramasser des Livres qui traitassent de la Politique Civile & Militaire, _Parce que_, disoit-il, _les Rois trouvent dans ces Livres des choses dont leurs Amis n’oseroient leur parler_. _Alphonse_ Roy d’_Aragon_ disoit à ce sujet: Les Livres sont _les Conseillers qui me plaisent d’avantage: la crainte ni l’esperance ne les empêchent point de me dire ce que je dois faire_. 103 _Dionysius_ the Tyrant had made great Promises to an excellent Musician, who sung before him, and as the Musician found that they came to nothing, he complain’d to the Tyrant, who answer’d him: _Friend, What reason hast thou to complain? I paid thee the same way as thou servedst me: Thou hast tickled my Ear with pleasing Musick, and I have entertain’d thee with the Pleasure of fair Hopes, and so we are quits._ 103 _Denys_ le Tyran avoit fait de grandes promesses à un excellent Musicien qui avoit chanté devant lui, & comme le Musicien vid qu’elles n’ètoient suivies d’aucun effet, il se plaignit au Tyran, qui lui rêpondit: _Dequoi te plains tu, mon Ami? je t’ai payé de la même sorte que tu m’as servi: tu m’as chatouillé l’oreille par le plaisir de la Musique, & moi je t’ai fait goûter le plaisir des belles Esperances; ainsi nous voilà quittes_. 104 One of the Ancients said: _That the Great ones us’d all their endeavours to lose the use of their Hands and Feet, because they get others to dress and carry them_. 104 Un Ancien disoit, _que les grands faisoient tout leur possible, afin de perdre l’usage des Pieds & des Mains, parce qu’ils se font chausser, habiller, & porter par les autres_. 105 _Diogenes_ wrote upon the Foot of a golden Statue which the Curtezan _Phrine_ had erected to _Venus_, in the Temple of _Delphos_, these Words: _The Incontinency of the Grecians has rais’d this Statue_. 105 _Diogene_ écrivit sur le pied d’une Statuë d’Or que la courtisane _Phryné_ avoit presentée à _Venus_ dans le Temple de _Delphes_, ces Mots: _l’Incontinence des_ Grecs _a dressé cette Statuë_. 106 _Adrian_ the Emperour ask’d _Epictetus_ why _Venus_ was represented Naked: _Because_, answered he, _She strips those Men of every thing who court her Pleasures too much_. 106 L’Empereur _Adrien_ demandoit à _Epictete_ pourquoi on representoit _Venus_ toute nuë: _C’est_, repondit-il, _parce qu’elle depouille de tous les biens ceux qui recherchent trop ses Plaisirs_. 107 _Vespasian_ finding himself dying, to ridicule the silly Custom of the Heathens in those Times, (who rank’d the Emperours among the Gods, after they were dead) said, _I feel I become a God_. 107 _Vespasien_ qui se sentoit mourir, disoit en se moquant de la sotte coutume des Payens de ce tems-là, qui mettoient les Empereurs, après leur Mort, au nombre des Dieux: _je sens bien que je deviens Dieu_. 108 _Portia_ the Wife of _Brutus_, gave her self a great wound with a Knife, the Night before _Cesar_ was to be murder’d by her Husband, and said to those who ask’d her how that Misfortune was befallen her: _I did it on purpose, to try with what Resolution I shall suffer that Death I prepare to my self, if the design of the Conspirators miscarries_. 108 _Portia_, Femme de _Brutus_, se fit une grande playe avec un Couteau, la veille que _Cesar_ devoit être assassiné par son mari, & dit à ceux qui lui demandoient comment ce malheur ètoit arrivé: _je l’ai fait à dessein d’essayer avec quelle constance je pourrai souffrir la Mort que je me prepare, si le dessein des Conjurez vient à manquer_. 109 _Epictetus_ a Slave of _Epaphrodites_, one of _Nero_’s Officers, having one Day received from him a great blow on on his Leg, told him coldly: _Pray have a care you don’t break my Leg_. But that cruel Man redoubled his blow with such force, that he broke his Shin-bone: _Well_, said then _Epictetus_ smiling, _did not I tell you you were like to break my Leg?_ 109 _Epictete_ Esclave d’_Epaphrodite_, Officier de _Neron_, ayant un jour receu de lui un grand coup sur la jambe, lui dit froidement: _Prenez garde, je vous prie de ne me pas casser la jambe_. Mais ce cruel redoubla son coup d’une telle force qu’il lui brisa l’Os: _Hé bien_, lui dit alors _Epictete_ en souriant, _ne vous l’avois je pas dit que vous joüiez à me casser la jambe?_ 110 _Antipater_ having defeated King _Agis_, demanded fifty _Lacedemonian_ Boys, as Hostages to secure his Conquest. _Etheocles_, who then was _Ephorus_, answered: _That he would give him no Boys, lest being no more under the_ Spartan _Discipline_, _they should contract vicious Inclinations; but that they were ready to give him double that number of old Men and Women_. 110 _Antipater_, aprés avoir vaincu le Roy _Agis_, demanda pour seureté de sa conquête cinquante Enfans _Lacedemoniens_ en ôtage. _Etheocles_, qui alors ètoit _Ephore_, rêpondit, _Qu’il ne lui donneroit point d’Enfans, de crainte que n’etant plus soûmis à la Discipline de_ Sparte, _ils ne contractassent de vicieuses Inclinations: Mais qu’ils ètoient prêts de leur donner le double de Vieillards, & de Femmes_. 111 An _Jonian_ Woman made a shew of a piece of Work very rich, and well wrought, but a _Lacedemonian_ shewing four Children whom she had well brought up: _These_, said she, _are the Works that a Virtuous Lady ought to value her self upon_. 111 Une Femme _Jonienne_ faisoit parade d’un ouvrage de Main fort riche & bien travaillé: Mais une _Lacedemonienne_ faisant paroitre quatre Enfans qu’elle avoit fort sagement élevez: _Voilà_, dit elle, _les Ouvrages dont une Dame Vertueuse doit tirer la veritable gloire_. 112 The Emperour _Theodosius_ committing his Sons to be instructed by the learned _Arsenius_, told them: _Children, if you take care to ennoble your Souls with Virtue and Knowledge, I will leave you my Crown with Pleasure; but if you neglect that, I had rather see you loose the Empire, than hazard it into the Hands of those that are unfit to govern it: ’Tis better you should suffer the loss of it, than occasion its ruin._ 112 L’Empereur _Theodose_ donnant ses Enfans au savant _Arsenius_, pour les instruire, leur dit: _Mes Enfans, si vous avez soin d’ennoblir vos ames de la vertu & de la Science, je vous laisserai avec plaisir ma Couronne: Mais si vous le negligez, j’aimerois mieux vous voir perdre l’Empire, que de le hazarder à la conduite de gens incapables; il vaut mieux que vous en souffriez la perte, que de le ruiner._ 113 _Philip_ was told that his Son _Alexander_ complained of his getting many other Children by different Women, whereupon he spoke thus to him: _Since thou seest_, Alexander, _that thou hast several Competitors in the Empire, endeavour to become so good and so brave, that thou may’st obtain the Kingdom rather by thy Merit than my Favour_. 113 _Philippe_ apprit que son Fils _Alexandre_ se plaignoit de ce qu’il engendroit plusieurs Enfans de diverses Femmes: là dessus il lui parla ainsi; _Puis que tu vois_, Alexandre, _que tu as plusieurs Concurrens à l’Empire, fais en sorte que tu deviennes si honnête & si brave, que tu puisses obtenir le Royaume par ton merite, plûtôt que par ma faveur_. 114 After the defeat of _Pompey_ the Great, the Troops which followed _Scipio_ into _Africa_, having run away, _Cato_, who saw the Victory in _Cesar_’s Hands, killed himself out of spite: _Cesar_ having receiv’d the news of his Death, cried out: _Oh!_ Cato, _I envy thy Death, since thou hast envied me the Honour of giving thee thy Life_. 114 Aprés la defaite du Grand _Pompée_, les Troupes qui suivoient _Scipion_ en _Afrique_ ayant pris la fuite, _Caton_ qui voyoit _Cesar_ Victorieux se tua de depit: _Cesar_ apprenant sa Mort s’écria: _Ah!_ Caton, _je porte envie à ta Mort, puis que tu m’as envié la gloire de te donner la Vie_. 115 _Socrates_ having for a long time endured his Wifes brawling, went out of his House, and sat down before the Door, to rid himself of her Importunity. This Woman enrag’d to find that all her Scolding was not able to disturb his Tranquillity, flung a Chamber-pot-full upon his Head. Those that happened to see it laughed at poor _Socrates_; but that Philosopher told them smiling: _I thought indeed after so much Thunder we should have some Rain_. 115 _Socrate_, aprés avoir long tems souffert la Criaillerie de sa Femme, sortit de sa Maison, & s’assit devant sa porte pour se delivrer de son importunité; cette femme indignée de voir que tous ses cris n’ètoient point capables d’ébranler sa tranquillité, lui versa sur la tête un Pot de Chambre. Ceux qui apperceurent-cette Action se rioient du pauvre _Socrate_; mais ce Philosophe souriant aussi, leur dit: _je me doutois bien qu’aprés un si grand Tonnerre nous aurions de la Pluye_. 116 _Zeuxis_ contending with _Parrhasius_ about the Excellence of their Pictures, drew some Grapes so much to the Life, that Birds came to peck at them. As for _Parrhasius_ he exposed to view a Curtain so well done, that _Zeuxis_ proud of the sucess of his Work, told him hastily, that ’twas not a time to hide his Picture, and offered to draw the Curtain himself; but perceiving his Mistake: _Well_, said he, _I have done with thee; I only cheated Birds, but thou hast cheated the Painter himself_. 116 _Zeuxis_ disputant avec _Parrhasius_ de l’excellence de leurs Tableaux, peignit des Raisins si fort au Naturel, que les Oiseaux venoient les bequeter. _Parrhasius_ de son côté exposa en vuë un rideau si bien-fait, que _Zeuxis_ enflé du succez de son ouvrage, lui dit impatiemment, que ce n’ètoit pas là le tems de cacher son Tableau, & voulut tirer le rideau lui même, mais appercevant son Erreur: _Ah!_ lui dit il, _je te quitte; je n’ai trompé que les Oiseaux, & tu as trompé le Peintre même_. 117 _Pericles_ being accused for laying out the Publick Revenues upon Buildings, Publick Ornaments, and Offerings to the Gods: _Will you give me leave_, said he, to the People, _to get my name ingraved upon all those things instead of yours, and I’ll be at the charge of them out of my own Pocket_. At which Words, the People out of a point of Honour, refused to accept his Proposal, and permitted him to go on with his Magnificence in the Name of the People. 117 Comme on accusoit _Periclés_ de dépenser les Deniers publics en Batimens, en Decorations publiques, & en offrandes qu’il faisoit aux Dieux: _voulez vous permettre_, dit-il au Peuple, _que je fasse graver sur toutes ces choses-là mon nom en la place du vôtre, j’en payerai la depense de mes propres Deniers_. A ce Mot, le Peuple piqué d’honneur, refusa d’accepter sa Proposition, & lui permit de continüer ses magnificences au nom du Peuple. 118 Some _Romans_ wondered that _Cesar_ should continue perpetual Dictator, by which he seemed to affect Monarchy; whereas _Sylla_ had renounced that Title, to whom _Cesar_ answered: _Do not wonder at that_, Sylla _could not read well, and so was not able to dictate long_. 118 Quelques _Romains_ trouvant étrange que _Cesar_ demeurât Dictateur perpetuel, en quoi il sembloit affecter la Royauté, vû que _Sylla_ avoit quitté cette qualité-là, _Cesar_ leur répondit: _Ne vous ètonnez pas de cela_, Sylla _ne savoit pas bien lire, il ne pouvoit pas dicter longtems_. 119 _Dionysius_ the Tyrant of _Sicily_ caused the Statue of _Jupiter Olympius_ to be stripped of a Cloak of massive Gold, worth above fifty thousand Crowns, and instead of that gave him one of Wool, saying _This Cloak is too Cold in Winter, and too heavy in Summer; we must take care of_ Jupiter, _this Woollen one will fit him much better_. 119 _Denys_, Tyran de _Sicile_, fit òter de dessus la Statuë de _Jupiter Olympien_, un manteau d’Or massif, qui valoit plus de cinquante mille écus, & au lieu de celui-là, il lui en donna un de Laine, disant: _Ce manteau est trop froid en Hyver, & trop lourd en Eté, il faut avoir soin de_ Jupiter, _celui de Laine lui sera bien plus commode_. 120 The same King caused in _Epidauris_ the golden Beard of _Æsculapius_ to be plucked off: _It is neither becoming nor rational_, said he, _to represent_ Æsculapius _the Son with a long Beard, whilest we see by him_ Apollo _his Father with a smooth & beardless Chin_. 120 Ce même Roy fit dans _Epidaure_ arracher une Barbe d’Or qui ètoit au menton d’_Esculape_: _Il n’est pas_, dit-il, _de la bienseance ni du bon sens, de representer_ Esculape _fils avec une longue barbe, pendant qu’on voit auprés de lui_ Apollon _son Pere, sans un seul poil au menton_. 121 A _Roman_ Knight, who was above two Hundred thousand Crowns in debt, and yet enjoyed his Pleasure, and lived in great Tranquillity, being dead, the Emperour _Augustus_ commanded that when his Goods were Sold, his Bed should be bought for him, adding this Reason: _That must needs be the best Bed in the World, since he who was so deeply indebted could repose in it so long at his ease_. 121 Un Chevalier _Romain_, qui chargé de plus de deux cens mille écus de Dettes ne laissoit pas de mener une Vie delicieuse & tranquille, ètant decedé, l’Empereur _Auguste_ commanda qu’on lui achetât son Lit, quand on vint à vendre ses Meubles, disant pour raison: _Il faut que ce soit le meilleur Lit du Monde puisque celui qui ètoit accablé de tant de dettes a pu si long tems y reposer à son aise_. 122 _Alexander_ the Great sent a Hundred Talents as a Present to _Phocion_. This Man asked those that brought it, why _Alexander_ sent this Present to him alone, among so many Persons that were in _Athens_: _Because_, answered they, _the_ Athenians _esteem you the wisest man among them_: _Why then_, replyed he, _will he not suffer me to keep that Quality, and why does he desire me to cease to be wise by accepting his Presents?_ 122 _Alexandre_ le grand envoya cent Talents en present à _Phocion_. Celui-ci demanda à ceux qui les apportoient pourquoi _Alexandre_ adressoit ce present à lui seul, entre tant de Personnes qui ètoient à _Athenes_. C’est, lui répondirent-ils, _parce que les_ Atheniens _t’estiment être le plus Sage d’entreux_: _Que ne me laisse-t-il donc_, repliqua-t-il, _conserver cette qualité, & pourquoi veut il qu’en acceptant ses presens je cesse d’être Sage?_ 123 _Cato_ of _Utica_, perceiving that _Cesar_ had filled the Temple of _Castor_, and the Market-place with armed Men against him: _What a great Coward_, said he, _is_ Cesar, _thus to arm so many Soldiers against one single Man_. 123 _Caton d’Utique_, voyant que _Cesar_ avoit rempli le Temple de _Castor_, & la place publique, de gens armez contre lui: _O que_ Cesar, dit-il, _est un grand Poltron, d’armer tant de Soldats contre un seul homme!_ 124 One of _Artaxerxes_’s Officers asked an unjust thing of him: The King being informed that he was prompted to do it only upon a Promise of a great Sum of Money, ordered the like Sum to be brought to him, and presented him with it, saying, _Take this Money Friend: this Gift cannot make me poor; but should I grant thy request, I should become very unjust_. 124 Un Officier d’_Artaxerxes_ lui faisoit une injuste demande. Le Roy ètant informé qu’il n’ètoit porté à la faire que parce qu’on lui avoit promis une grande somme d’Argent, se fit apporter une pareille somme, & la lui presenta en lui disant: _Prens cét Argent là, mon ami, ce don ne sauroit m’appauvrir; mais si je t’accordois ta demande, je deviendrois très injuste_. 125 _Aristippus_ gave fifty Drachms for a Partridge, and as some body censured such an Expence in a Philosopher, _Aristippus_ told him, would you not buy it if it cost but a Farthing? he answered, with all my Heart: _Well_, replied _Aristippus_, _fifty Drachms are no more to me than a Farthing_. 125 _Aristippe_ avoit fait acheter une Perdrix cinquante Dragmes, & quelqu’un condamnant une telle depense en un Philosophe, _Aristippe_ lui dit, ne l’acheteriez vous pas si elle ne coûtoit qu’une Obole? il lui rêpondit, très volontiers: _Et à moi_, repartit _Aristippe_, _cinquante Dragmes ne sont pas plus qu’une Obole_. 126 The same _Aristippus_ begged a Favour of King _Dionysius_ for one of his Friends, and not being able to obtain it, he cast himself at his Feet, with design to embrace them, and pray him, as he loved to be entreated. Some body found fault with this Action, as unworthy of a Philosopher; to whom he pleasantly answered: _You ought not to lay the blame upon me, but upon King_ Dionysius_, who carries his Ears at his Feet_. 126 Le même _Aristippe_ demandoit au Roy _Denys_ une grace pour un de ses Amis, & ne pouvant l’obtenir, il se jetta à ses pieds, & les embrassa pour le prier en la maniere qu’il aimoit à être prié. Quelqu’un lui reprochant cette action, comme indigne d’un Sage, il répondit plaisamment: _La faute ne m’en doit pas être imputée, mais au Roy_ Denys_, qui met ses Oreilles à ses Pieds_. 127 The Ambassadors of _Greece_ grumbling because King _Philip_ slept in the Day-time, and made them wait too long for an Audience: _Do not wonder, Gentlemen_, said _Parmenio_, _if he sleeps whilst you wake, for whilst you slept he was awake_. Giving them to understand, that his Master had got the start of the _Grecians_, whilst their divisions hindred them from minding their own Affairs. 127 Les Ambassadeurs de la _Grece_ voyant le Roy _Philippe_ dormir pendant le jour, murmuroient de ce qu’il tardoit trop à leur donner Audience: _Ne vous étonnez pas, Messieurs_, leur dit _Parmenion_, _s’il dort tandis que vous veillez, car pendant que vous dormiez, ils veilloit_. Il vouloit leur faire entendre que son Maître avoit pris ses avantages sur les _Grecs_, pendant que les Divisions les empêchoient de songer à leurs Affaires. 128 _Mecenas_ seeing _Augustus_ in the Senate House ready to pass Sentence of Death upon a great many Persons, and not being near enough to advise him to moderate his severity, he flung a Note to him, at the opening of which _Augustus_ found these bold Words: _Rise, Butcher, and come out of that Place_. _Augustus_, who knew his Affection to him, was not in the least offended, but on the contrary commended this extream Liberty. 128 _Mecenas_ voyant _Auguste_ dans le senat prêt de condemner à la Mort un grand nombre de Personnes, & ne pouvant s’approcher assez prés, pour l’avertir de moderer sa severité, lui jetta un billet, à l’ouverture duquel _Auguste_ trouva ces Paroles hardies: _Leve-toi Bourreau, & sors de là_; _Auguste_ qui connoissoit son affection ne s’en offensa pas, mais au contraire estima cette excessive Liberté. 129 _Dionysius_ the Tyrant ask’d _Aristippus_ what made Philosophers make their Court to Rich Men, and Rich Men never visit Philosophers: _Because_, answer’d he, _Philosophers know their wants, but Rich Men are not sensible of theirs_. 129 _Denys_ le Tyran demandoit à _Aristippe_, d’où vient que les Philosophes venoient faire la cour aux Riches, & que les Riches, n’alloient point visiter les Philosophes? _C’est_, répondit-il, _que les Philosophes connoissent leurs Besoins, & que les Riches ne sentent point les leurs_. 130 One who was declaiming against Philosophers, said, that for all the contempt they exprest for Riches, yet they were always to be seen at the Rich Mens Doors: _I don’t wonder at it_, answered _Aristippus_, _for Physicians are very assiduous in visiting their Patients at their Houses: And yet no body had rather be a Patient than a Physician_. 130 Une Personne, declamant contre les Philosophes, disoit que quelques mépris qu’ils montrassent pour les Richesses, on ne laissoit pas de les voir toûjours aux Portes des Riches. _Je ne m’en étonne pas_, répondit _Aristippe_, _les Medecins sont assidus à visiter leurs Malades dans leurs Maisons; toutefois Personne n’aimeroit mieux être malade que Medecin_. 131 The same _Aristippus_ being a Ship-board, and finding that the Ship belonged to some Pirates, began to count his Money, and dropt it on purpose into the Sea; and then with counterfeit Groans made the rest believe that it slipt by chance out of his Hands. By this dexterous piece of Policy he avoided the danger to which his Life was expos’d; which made him say with a low Voice as he was dropping of it: _’Tis better I should lose thee, than thou be the occasion of my Ruin_. 131 Ce même _Aristippe_ s’étant embarqué & ayant reconnu que le Vaisseau appartenoit à des Pirates, se mit à conter son Argent, & le laissa tomber à dessein dans la Mer, faisant croire par de feints gemissemens qu’il lui ètoit échappé des Mains sans y penser. Il évita par ce tour adroit le danger où sa Vie étoit exposée, ce qui lui fit dire à voix basse en le jettant: _Il vaut mieux que je te perde, que si tu étois cause de ma perte_. 132 The _Samnites_, laden with Riches, which they came to offer to _Marius Curius_ their Conquerour, found him busy about cooking of Turneps for his Dinner. He refus’d their Presents, and told them for his Reason: _A Man who can be contented with so course a Fare, has but little occasion either for your Gold_ or _Silver_. 132 Les _Samnites_ chargez de richesses qu’ils venoient offrir à _Marius Curius_ leur vainqueur, le trouverent occupé à faire cuire des Navets pour son diner. Il refusa leurs presens, & leur dit pour raison: _Un homme qui se contente d’une si maigre chere, n’a pas grand besoin de vôtre Or, ni de vôtre Argent_. 133 _Simonides_ being asked which was most to be desired, either Riches or Wisdom: _I am_, answered he, _very much in doubt about it; for I see a great many Wisemen make their Court to the Rich_. 133 _Simonide_ interrogé ce qui ètoit le plus à souhaiter, les richesses ou la sagesse? _Je suis_, répondit-il, _fort en doute là dessus: je vois beaucoup de sages venir faire la cour aux Riches:_ 134 King _Pyrrhus_ taking notice that his Son us’d his Subjects with too much Pride and Severity, rebuk’d him in these Words; _I perceive well enough, my Son, by your haughty way of Proceeding, that you are ignorant that the Royal Dignity is but a creditable Slavery_. 134 Le Roy _Pyrrhus_ voyant son Fils qui traitoit ses sujets avec trop de fierté & de rigueur, le reprit en ces termes: _Je voi bien, mon Fils, à vôtre maniere arrogante d’agir, que vous ignorez, que la dignité de Roy est une servitude honnorable_. 135 _Philip_ was asking King _Antigonus_ his Father, before several Persons, when he design’d to decamp. The King surpriz’d at his Sons indiscretion, which was like to disclose a design he had a mind to keep secret: _What_, said he to him, _are you afraid to be the only Man that shall not hear the sound of the Trumpet, which is to give you notice of it_. 135 _Philippe_ demandoit au Roy _Antigonus_ son Pere, en presence de plusieurs Personnes, quand il vouloit decamper: Ce Roy surpris de l’indiscretion de son Fils, qui alloit decouvrir un dessein qu’il vouloit tenir secret: _quoi donc_, lui dit-il, _craignez vous d’être le seul qui n’entendiez pas le son de la Trompette, qui vous en doit avertir?_ 136 As one was shewing _Diogenes_ the Vows fix’d in one of the Temples of the false Gods, by such as had escaped the Dangers of the Wars, the Sea, or Sickness, this Philosopher, ridiculing their Superstition, answered: _There would be a much greater number of them, if those that have perished in those Dangers had sent their Presents instead of those that have been saved from them_. 136 Comme on faisoit voir à _Diogene_ les voeux attachez en un Temple des faux Dieux, par ceux qui ètoient échappez aux périls de la Guerre, de la Mer, & de la Maladie, ce Philosophe raillant leur Superstition, répondit: _Il y en auroit un bien plus grand nombre, si ceux qui sont peris en ces dangers là avoient envoyé leurs presens, au lieu de ceux qui en ont été delivrez_. 137 A Man who had been instrumental in making King _Philip_ Master of the City of _Olynthia_, of which he was a Citizen, complained to him that those of _Lacedemon_ call’d him Traitor: _Do not wonder at it_, said that King, _the_ Lacedemonians _are naturally rustical and clownish; they call all things by their Names_. 137 Un Homme qui avoit contribüé à rendre le Roy _Philippe_ Maître de la Ville d’_Olynthe_, dont il ètoit Citoyen, se plaignit à lui que ceux de _Lacedemone_ l’appelloient Traître: _Ne vous étonnez pas de cela_, dit ce Roy: _les_ Lacedemoniens _de leur Naturel sont rustres & grossiers: ils appellent toutes choses par leur nom_. 138 One asked _Diogenes_ the _Cynick_, which way he might be revenged of his Enemy: _the best way_, answered he, _is to make thy self illustrious by thy Virtue, thus thou shalt gain a great advantage to thy self, and cause a great vexation to thy Foe_. 138 Quelqu’un demandoit à _Diogene_ le Cynique, le moyen de se bien venger de son Ennemi: _C’est_, répondit-il, _de te rendre illustre par ta vertu; tu te procureras ainsi un grand avantage, & un grand deplaisir à ton Ennemi_. 139 _Cato_ the Elder, reflecting upon the eager desire of several _Romans_, of indifferent Merit, of having Statues erected to them: _I had much rather_, said he, _that People should ask why no Statues were raised to_ Cato, _than that they should ask why they have been raised to him_. 139 _Caton_ l’ainé, considerant l’empressement de plusieurs _Romains_, de peu de merite, à se faire ériger des Statuës; _J’aime bien mieux_, disoit-il, _qu’on demande pourquoi on n’a pas élevé des Statuës à_ Caton, _que si on demandoit pourquoi on lui en a dressé_. 140 _King Pyrrhus_ having beat the _Romans_ in two Battles, wherein he had lost a great many of his Men, said to his Friends: _If I win a third battel at the same rate, we are undone without hopes of Recovery_. 140 Le Roy _Pyrrhus_, aprés avoir gagné contre les _Romains_ deux Batailles où il avoit perdu beaucoup de Monde, dit à ses amis: _Si je gagne encore de même une troisiéme Bataille nous sommes perdus sans ressource_. 141 _Epaminondas_ viewing the sumptuous Preparations which were making for a Feast in a Sacrifice, to which he had been invited, he went his way, and said: _I am called to a Sacrifice, and I find my self in a Debauch_. 141 _Epaminondas_ voyant l’appareil somptueux d’un Festin qui se faisoit en un sacrifice où on l’avoit invité, il se retira, disant: _On m’appelle à un Sacrifice, & je me trouve à une Debauche_. 142 The Captain _Chabrias_ said, _That an Army of Harts commanded by a Lion, is more formidable than an Army of Lions commanded by a Hart_. 142 Le Capitaine _Chabrias_ disoit, _qu’une Armée de Cerfs conduite par un Lion est plus formidable qu’une Armée de Lions commandée par un Cerf_. 143 A Cripple going to the Wars, some People that saw him walk, laughed at his design: _Do not wonder at me_, said he to them, _I do not go to the Wars with design to run away, but to encounter the Enemy, and die in the same Rank wherein I shall be placed_. 143 Un Boiteux allant à la Guerre, quelques-uns qui le voyoient marcher, se rioient de son dessein: _Ne vous ètonnez pas_, leur dit-il, _je ne vais pas à la Guerre à dessein de fuïr, mais pour faire tête aux Ennemis, & mourir dans le même rang où l’on m’aura placé_. 144 King _Philip_ seeing his Son _Alexander_ extream active and nimble, encouraged him to run a race in the _Olympick_ Games: _I would willingly undertake it_, answered he, _if those that were to run with me for the prize were Kings_. 144 Le Roy _Philippe_ voyant son Fils _Alexandre_ extremement souple & agile, l’excitoit à combattre à la course dans les jeux _Olympiques_: _Je le ferois volontiers_, lui répondit-il, _si ceux qui me disputeroient le prix étoient des Rois_. 145 In the War which _Marius_ was waging against the _Teutones_, his Soldiers complaining of extream Thirst, he shewed them a River that was very near the Enemies Camp: _Thither_, said he, _you must go to quench your Thirst_. 145 Dans la Guerre que _Marius_ fit aux _Teutons_, ses Soldats se plaignant d’une extreme soif, il leur montra un Fleuve qui ètoit fort proche du Camp des Ennemis: _C’est là_, leur dit-il, _qu’il vous faut aller éteindre vôtre soif_. 146 As one was disuading _Marcus Brutus_ from fighting, he said: _What harm can I get by it? I can but overcome or die_. And as some advised him after his defeat to save himself by flight: _A Man_, said he, _ought to save himself with his Hands, and not with his Feet_. 146 _Marcus Brutus_, qu’on vouloit détourner d’aller au Combat, dit: _Quel mal peut-il m’en arriver? je ne puis que vaincre ou mourir_. Et sur ce que quelques uns lui conseilloient après sa defaite de se sauver par la fuite: _Il se faut_, dit-il, _sauver avec les Mains, & non pas avec les Pieds_. 147 King _Agis_, said: _One ought never to ask how many, but where the Enemys are_. 147 Le Roy _Agis_ disoit: _Il ne faut jamais demander combien, mais où sont les Ennemis_. 148 _Augustus_ hearing that _Alexander_ having conquered the best part of the World, was at a loss how to spend the remainder of his Days, he was surpriz’d at that Thought: _Why_, said he, _was_ Alexander _then ignorant that the well governing a conquered State, is a more important Employment than the making of new Conquests?_ 148 _Auguste_ entendant dire qu’_Alexandre_, après avoir conquis la plus grande partie de la Terre, ètoit en peine de sçavoir à quoi il pourroit occuper la reste de ses jours fut surpris de ce sentiment là: _Hé quoi_, dit-il, Alexandre _ignoroit donc que bien gouverner un Empire conquis, est un Emploi plus considerable, que de faire de nouvelles Conquêtes?_ 149 The Beginnings of _Augustus_’s Reign were fatal to the _Roman_ Empire, by reason of his Cruelties, and the disorders he occasion’d. But as the latter end of his Reign was quite different, and rendred the Empire more flourishing than ever, ’twas said of him: _That it were to be wished, either that he had never come into the World, or never gone out of it_. 149 Les commencemens du Regne d’_Auguste_ furent pernicieux à l’Empire _Romain_, à cause de ses cruautez, & des désordres qu’il causa; mais comme la fin de son Regne toute differente, rendit l’Empire plus florissant que jamais, on dit de lui: _Qu’il eût été à souhaiter, ou qu’il ne fut jamais venu au monde, ou qu’il n’en fut jamais sorti_. 150 _Scilerus_, who had many Children, being at the point of Death, gave every one of them a bundle of Arrows, and commanded them to break it. And as they all made answer, that the thing was impossible, he pulled out the Arrows, and broke them one by one; and from thence took occasion to tell them: _By this, my Children, you ought to learn, that as long as you are well united together, you shall ever be invincible, and formidable to your Enemies: But if on the contrary you let divisions creep in amongst you, you will grow weak and easy to be overcome._ 150 _Scilerus_, qui avoit plusieurs Enfans, étant sur le point de mourir, leur donna à chacun un faisseau de fleches & leur commanda de le rompre. Aprés que tous eurent fait reponse que la chose étoit impossible, il tira les Fleches, & les rompit l’une aprês l’autre, & prit de là occasion de leur dire: _Ceci vous doit apprendre, mes Enfans, que si vous demeurez bien unis ensemble, vous serez toûjours invincibles, & redoutables à vos Ennemis: Que si au contraire vous admettez chez vous la division, vous de viendrez foibles & faciles à vaincre._ 151 _Pytho_ a Rhetorician of _Byzantium_, offer’d in a Sedition to exhort the People of that City to Concord; and because he was extraordinary fat, the People fell a laughing assoon as they saw him. But this subtile Orator taking from their laughter the beginning of his Speech: _You laugh_, said he, _at my bigness: I have a Wife bigger yet than my self; nevertheless, when we agree, one Bed is enough for us; but when we are at odds, the whole House is too little to hold us_. 151 _Python_ Rhetoricien de _Bysance_, voulut en une Sedition exhorter le Peuple de cette Ville à la Paix, & comme il ètoit extraordinairement gros, le Peuple se mit à rire dés qu’il le vit paroitre. Mais cêt adroit Orateur prenant de leur risée le sujet de son Exorde: _Vous riez_, leur dit-il, _de ma grosseur, j’ay une Femme encore bien plus grosse que moy; cependant quand nous sommes d’accord, un seul Lit nous suffit, mais quand la division se met entre nous, toute la maison est trop petite pour nous contenir._ 152 _Diogenes_ the _Cynick_, seeing some Magistrates leading to the place of Execution a Fellow who had stolen some little Vessel: _Here are great Thieves_, cry’d he presently, _that carry a little one to the Gallows_. 152 _Diogene_ le _Cynique_, qui voyoit des Magistrats conduire au supplice un homme qui avoit dérobé quelque petit vase: _Voici_, s’écria-t-il aussi-tôt, _de grands voleurs qui menent un petit Larron à la Potence_. 153 King _Philip_’s Wife, Mother to _Alexander_ the Great, hearing that her Son gave himself out to be the Son of _Jupiter_, and made himself to be worship’d as a God, did put a shrewd Jest upon his Vanity, in these Words: _I conjure you_, said she, in a Letter which she wrote to him, _do not make any difference betwixt_ Juno _and me any more_. 153 La Mere d’_Alexandre_ le grand, Femme de _Philippe_, apprenant que son Fils se disoit Fils de _Jupiter_, & se faisoit adorer comme un Dieu, en railla finement la Vanité dans ces Mots: _Je vous conjure_, lui manda-t-elle _de ne me plus brouiller avec_ Junon. 154 A wicked Man, among the chief of _Athens_, asking a _Lacedemonian_, who was the best Man in _Lacedemon_, received this ingenious, but tart return: _’Tis he who least resembles thee_. 154 Un méchant homme des Principaux d’_Athenes_, demandant à un _Lacedemonien_, qui ètoit le plus homme de bien de _Lacedemone_, celui-ci lui répondit fort adroitement, mais d’une maniere bien aigre, _C’est celui qui te ressemble le moins_. 155 _Timo_ the _Misanthropist_, being invited to Dinner by one who affected to imitate him in his hatred for all Mankind: _Here is_, said that Man, _a very fine Dinner_; _True_, answered _Timo_, _if thou wert not at it_. 155 _Timon_ le _Misanthrope_ ayant été invité à diner par un homme qui affectoit de l’imiter dans la haine qu’il avoit pour tout le Genre humain: _Voici_, dit cêt homme, _un Repas bien agréable_. _Ouï_, lui répondit _Timon_, _si tu n’y ètois pas_. 156 Diogenes being banished by those of _Sinope_, his Birth place, he wrote to them: _You have banished me your City, and I confine you to your Houses_. _You live at_ Sinope, _and I at_ Athens. _I daily converse with the best Men of_ Greece, _while you are in bad Company_. 156 _Diogene_ ayant été chassé par ceux de _Sinope_, lieu de sa naissance, leur manda: _Vous m’avez banni de vôtre Ville, & moi je vous relegue dans vos Maisons. Vous demeurez à_ Sinope, _& je demeure à_ Athenes_. Je m’entretiens tous les jours avec les plus honnêtes gens de la_ Grece, _pendant que vous étes en mauvaise compagnie_. 157 _Bias_ the Philosopher, being a-board a Ship in a Storm with wicked Men, who call’d upon the Gods: _Hold your Tongues_, said he to them, _that they may, if possible, forget that you are here_. 157 Le Philosophe _Bias_ ètant dans un Vaisseau durant une Tempête avec des méchantes gens qui invoquoient les Dieux, _Taisez vous_, leur dit-il, _afin qu’ils oublient, s’il se peut, que vous étes ici_. 158 Some of _Socrates_ his Friends, expressing their Anger against one whom he had saluted, and had not return’d him his Civility: _Why should you be angry_, said _Socrates_ to them, _because that Man is not so civil as my self_? 158 Des Amis de _Socrate_ temoignant être irritez de ce que quelqu’un qu’il avoit salüé ne lui avoit pas rendu son salut: _Pourquoi se fâcher_, leur dit _Socrate_, _de ce que cét homme n’est pas si civil que moy_? 159 When they came to give the same _Socrates_ notice of his being condemn’d to Death by the _Athenians_: _They are also condemn’d by Nature_, answered he. _But they have unjustly condemn’d thee_, said his Wife to him: _Why would’st thou have me justly condemn’d?_ reply’d _Socrates_. 159 Lors qu’on vint annoncer au même _Socrate_ qu’il avoit été condamné à la Mort par les _Atheniens_: _Ils le sont par la Nature_, répondit-il. _Mais ils t’ont condamné injustement_, lui dit sa Femme: _Voudroits tu que ce fut avec justice?_ lui dit _Socrate_. 160 _Philoxenes_ the Poet, being condemn’d by _Dionysius_ to work at the Quarries, for disliking some Verses of that Tyrants making, _Dionysius_ sent for him, to shew him other Verses of his own Composing, in hopes to get his Approbation, being passionately desirous to be esteem’d a good Poet. But _Philoxenes_ unwilling to commend his new Verses, because they were bad ones, _Let me go back to the Quarries_, said he. The Tyrant however was this time so good-humour’d as not to be angry at it. 160 Le Poëte _Philoxene_ ayant été condamné par _Denys_ à travailler aux Carrieres, pour avoir blamé des Vers que ce Tyran avoit faits, _Denys_ l’en rappella, pour lui montrer de nouveaux Vers de sa façon, dans l’esperance de les lui faire approuver, souhaitant avec Passion d’être estimé bon Poëte. Mais _Philoxene_, ne voulant point loüer ses nouveaux Vers qui ètoient méchans, _Qu’on me remene aux Carrieres_, dit-il. Le Tyran neantmoins fut pour cette fois d’assez bonne humeur pour ne pas s’en fâcher. 161 _Diogenes_ seeing young _Dionysius_ reduc’d to the Profession of a School-master, fell a sighing before him: _Do not be concern’d_, says _Dionysius_ to _Diogenes_, _for my bad Fortune; ’tis the effect of the inconstancy of humane Things. I am not troubled for what thou imaginest_, answers _Diogenes_, _but rather to see thee happier than either thou wast or doest deserve to be_. 161 _Diogene_, voyant le jeune _Denys_ réduit à faire la fonction de maître d’Ecole, se mit à soupirer devant lui. _Ne t’afflige point_, dit _Denys_ à _Diogene_, _de ma mauvaise Fortune, c’est un effet de l’inconstance des choses humaines_. _Je ne suis pas affligé de ce que tu penses_, lui répondit _Diogene_, _mais de te voir plus heureux que tu n’ètois & que tu ne merites_. 162 King _Philip_ contending with an able Musician about the fineness of an Air: _’Twere great pitty_, _Sir_, said the Musician to him, _you should be so unfortunate as to know these Things better than I_. Which Jest teaches the great ones not to affect excelling in Arts of this Nature, because they are only proper to such as make a Trade of them. 162 Le Roy _Philippe_ disputant de la beauté d’un Air avec un habile Musicien: _Ce seroit grand Dommage, Seigneur_, lui dit le Musicien, _que vous eussiez été assez malheureux pour savoir cela mieux que moy_. Ce bon mot apprend aux hommes élevez de ne pas affecter d’exceller dans les connoissances de cette nature, parce que cela ne convient qu’à ceux qui en font Profession. 163 An _Athenian_ Lady asking by way of Derision a _Lacedemonian_ Matron what Portion she had brought her Husband: _Chastity_, answered she. 163 Une Dame d’_Athenes_ demandant à une Dame _Lacedemonienne_, par maniere de reproche, ce qu’elle avoit apporté en Dot à son mari: _La Chasteté_, lui répondit-elle. 164 An _Athenian_ telling a _Lacedemonian_ by way of Reproach, that the _Athenians_ had often repulsed them from before their Walls: _We cannot reproach you with any such thing_, answer’d the _Lacedemonian_; which was a fine way of telling him, that those of _Athens_ durst never appear before _Lacedemon_. 164 Un _Athenien_ reprochant à un _Lacedemonien_, que ceux d’_Athenes_ les avoient souvent repoussez de devant leurs murailles: _Nous ne saurions vous faire un pareil reproche_, lui dit le _Lacedemonien_. C’ètoit une maniere delicate de lui dire, que jamais les _Atheniens_ n’avoient osé se presenter devant _Lacedemone_. 165 Another _Athenian_ said, that the _Lacedemonians_ spoil’d themselves in Foreign Countries: _True_, answer’d a _Lacedemonian_, but no Body spoils himself in _Lacedemon_. 165 Un autre _Athenien_ disoit que les _Lacedemoniens_ se corrompoient dans les Païs étrangers: _Il est vray_, répondit un _Lacedemonien_, _mais personne ne se corrompt à_ Lacedemone. 166 _Phocion_ used sharply to rebuke the _Athenians_, whereas the Orator _Demostthenes_ flatter’d them in his Speeches: _This People will murder thee, if ever they grow furious_, said _Demosthenes_ to _Phocion_; _So they will thee, if ever they grow wise_, reply’d _Phocion_. 166 _Phocion_ reprenoit aigrement les _Atheniens_, au lieu que l’Orateur _Demosthene_ les flatoit par ses Harangues. _Ce Peuple te tuera, s’il entre en fureur_, dit _Demosthene_ à _Phocion_; _Et toi, s’il entre en son bon sens_, lui repliqua _Phocion_. 167 _Alexander_ being at the point of Death, and his Domesticks having received his last Orders, they ask’d him where his Treasures lay? _You will find them_, said he, _in my Friends Purses_. 167 _Alexandre_ ètant à l’article de la Mort, ses Domestiques, aprés avoir receu ses derniers Ordres, lui demanderent où ètoient ses Tresors? _Vous les trouverez_, leur dit-il, _dans la Bourse de mes Amis_. 168 During the War betwixt _Cesar_ and _Pompey_, a _Roman_ Knight fled from _Cesar_’s Camp, but left his Horse behind him the better to conceal his flight, and get into _Pompey_’s Camp. _Cicero_ seeing _Cesar_’s Party was the strongest, and that the Knight had made an ill choice in siding with the weakest, said very pleasantly: _That Knight has taken more care of his Horse than he has of himself_. 168 Durant la Guerre de _Cesar_ & de _Pompée_, un Chevalier _Romain_ se sauva du Camp de _Cesar_, & y laissa son Cheval, pour mieux couvrir sa fuite, & se jetter dans le Camp de _Pompée_; _Ciceron_ voyant que le Parti de _Cesar_ ètoit le plus fort, & que ce Chevalier avoit fait un méchant choix en se rangeant du côté du plus foible, dit fort plaisammant: _Ce Chevalier a eu plus de soin de son Cheval, que de lui-même_. 169 _Metellus_, who was born of a Woman of great Liberties, pretending to joke upon _Cicero_ about the meanness of his Birth, ask’d him, _Who his Father was_? _Cicero_ instead of giving a direct Answer to the Question, waved it cuningly, by telling him: _Thy Mother has made that Question harder for thee to answer_. 169 _Metellus_, Fils d’une Mere qui avoit été fort galante, voulant railler _Ciceron_ sur la bassesse de sa naissance, lui demanda _qui ètoit son Pere_? _Ciceron_, au lieu de de répondre juste à la Question l’éluda adroitement, en lui disant: _Ta Mere a fait en sorte qu’il te seroit bien plus difficile de dire qui ètoit le tien_. 170 A Leader of revolted Slaves was taken in Fight with many of his Party, by the General of a _Roman_ Army; this General ask’d him what treatment he thought he and his Companions deserv’d: _The same_, said he, _which brave Men deserve, who think themselves worthy of being Free_; which answer so pleased the General, that he Pardon’d them, and employ’d them in his Troops. 170 Un chef d’Esclaves revoltez fut pris les Armes à la Main, avec plusieurs de son Parti, par le Général d’une Armée _Romaine_; Ce Général lui demanda quel traitement il croyoit que lui & ses Compagnons avoient merité: _Celui que meritent de braves Gens qui s’estiment dignes de la liberté_, lui répondit-il. Cette reponse plut si fort à ce Général, qu’il leur pardonna & les employa dans ses Troupes. 171 Some _Roman_ Judges being to try _Clodius_, demanded a Guard, that they might, as they pretended, pass their Verdict upon his Crime with freedom; however they acquitted him, tho’ he deserv’d to be condemn’d; which made _Catulus_, speaking to those Judges, say: _Were you afraid the Bribe_ Clodius _had given you, should be taken away from you_? 171 Des Juges _Romains_, devant juger _Clodius_, demanderent des Gardes pour opiner librement, disoient-ils, touchant son Crime: Cependant ils le renvoyerent absous, quoiqu’il eut merité d’être condamné. Ce qui fit dire à _Catulus_, parlant à ces mêmes Juges: _Est-ce que vous aviez peur qu’on ne vous ôtat l’Argent que_ Clodius _vous avoit donné_? 172 _Pyrrhus_ King of _Epirus_, being inform’d that some of his Soldiers had spoke ill of him at a Feast, he sent for them, and asked them whether that report was true; whereupon the boldest of them, seeing all was discover’d, made him this subtile Answer; _Sir, had not our Wine failed us, we would have said a great deal more_. This comical Excuse, and plain Confession, made the King laugh, and pacified his Anger. 172 _Pyrrhus_ le Roy des _Epirotes_, ayant sçeu que quelques uns de ses Soldats avoient fort mal parlé de lui dans un festin, les fit venir, & lui demanda si ce qu’on lui avoit rapporté étoit véritable? Alors le plus hardy d’entr’eux, voyant la chose decouverte, répondit subtilement, _Seigneur, si le vin ne nous eut pas manqué nous en aurions bien dit davantage_. Cette plaisante excuse, & cét aveu veritable, fit rire le Roy, & appaisa sa colere. 173 _Perillus_ having asked of _Alexander_ the Great, who had a Friendship for him, some Money to marry one of his Daughters, _Alexander_ order’d him fifty Talents. _Perillus_ told him that ten were enough: _I believe_, reply’d _Alexander_, _’twould be enough for_ Perillus, _but ’twould be too little for_ Alexander. 173 _Perillus_ ayant demandé à _Alexandre_ le grand, son ami, quelque Argent pour marier une de ses filles, _Alexandre_ lui fit donner cinquante talens; _Perillus_ lui dit, que dix suffisoient, _je croy_, repliqua _Alexandre_, _que ce seroit assez pour_ Perillus, _mais ce seroit trop peu pour_ Alexandre. 174 _Marcus Terentius Varus_ would have the Guests at Feasts to equal the number either of the Muses or of the Graces; that is, that they should not be more than Nine, nor less than three. Upon a certain Day he made a Feast, and a Buffoon coming to it without invitation, the Steward seeing he was supernumerary, would go to turn him out: But the Buffoon told him, _Thou art mistaken, Friend, count over again, and begin with me, thou wilt find I am not above the number_. 174 _Marcus Terentius Varus_ vouloit que les conviez aux Banquets égalassent le nombre des Muses, ou des Graces; c’est à dire, qu’ils ne fussent point plus de neuf, ni moins de trois. faisant donc un jour un festin, un bouffon y survint sans être prié, le Maître d’Hôtel le voyant supernumeraire, le vouloit chasser; mais le bouffon luy dit, _tu t’es trompé mon amy, compte une second fois, & commence par moy, tu verras que je ne suis point de trop_. 175 _Zeno_ the Humorist being a Trader, was told upon a Day, that the Ship on whose bottom he had ventur’d his whole Estate, after having been beaten by a great Storm, perished at last at the entrance of the Haven: But he was so far from being concern’d at this sad News, that he said with a serene Countenance, _I thank you Destiny for taking me from Merchandise, which is a mean and painful Employment, and carrying me back to Philosophy, which is a noble and salutary Exercise_; adding, _that he had rather met with a Port in the Wrack, than with a Wrack in the Port_. 175 _Zenon_ le fantasque faisant commerce de Marchandises, apprit un jour que son Vaisseau sur lequel il avoit chargé tout son bien, aprés avoir été battu d’une grande tempête ètoit enfin peri à l’entrée du Port, mais bien loin de se chagriner à cette triste nouvelle, il-dit, avec un visage serain, _je te remercie Destin de ce que tu me retires du Commerce, qui est un Art bas & penible & que tu me ramenes à la Philosophie qui est un exercice noble & salutaire_, ajoutant, _qu’il avoit plûtot trouvé le Port dans le naufrage, que le naufrage dans le Port_. 176 _Hermon_ was so Covetous, according to _Lucilius_’s Testimony, that dreaming one Night he had spent some Money, he was so troubled at it that he hang’d himself. _Dinarches Philo_ was also such another Miser that he quitted the design he had of hanging himself because he would not be at a Half-peny charge for a Rope, seeking Death at a much cheaper rate. And _Hemocrates_ grew such a Fool by his extreme Avarice, that when he died, he made himself his own Heir to all his Estate: From whence the Philosopher _Bias_ took occasion to say, _That Covetousness is the Mother of the Madness and Malice of Men_. 176 _Hermon_ fut si avare, selon le temoignage de _Lucile_, que revant la nuit qu’il avoit depensé quelque Argent, il en eut tant de douleur, qu’il s’étrangla. _Dinarques Philon_ fut aussi tellement avare, qu’il quitta le dessein de se pendre pour ne pas depenser deux liards à acheter une corde, cherchant la Mort à meilleur marché; & _Hemocrate_ devint si fou par son extreme Avarice, qu’en mourant, il se constitua luy même heritier de tous ses biens. d’où le Philosophe _Bias_ prit sujét de dire, _Que l’Avarice et la Mere de la folie, & de la Malice des Hommes_. 177 Those of _Numantia_, a very warlike People, having been defeated and put to flight by _Scipio_, the old Men reproached them severely with Cowardise, saying, _Are not these the same_ Roman _Sheep which we have so often beaten and drove before us_? _Yes_, answered a young Man, _these are the same Sheep, but they have changed their Shepherd_. 177 Ceux de _Numànce_, gens fort belliquex, ayant été defaits & mis en fuite par _Scipion_, les vieillards, leur reprochoient avec aigreur leur lâcheté, en leur disant, _Ne sont ce pas ces mêmes brebis_ Romaines _que nous avons vaincues, & battues tant de fois_? _Ouï_, répondit un jeune homme, _ce sont à la verité les mêmes brebis; mais elles ont changé de Pasteur_. 178 _Cicero_ said, That as the Swallows appear in Summer, and disappear in Winter, so false Friends crowd about a Man in his good Fortune, but go from him in his Adversity. 178 _Ciceron_ disoit que de la même maniere que les hirondelles paroissent l’Eté, & disparoissent en Hyver, de même les faux Amis se presentent dans la bonne fortune & s’éloignent dans la mauvaise. 179 One asked _Aristotle_ what Liars got by telling lies? He answered, _That the only thing they got by it, was not to be believed even when they spoke Truth_. 179 On demandoit à _Aristote_ ce que gagnoient les Menteurs à debiter leurs mensonges? il répondit, _qu’il ne leur en revenoit autre chose que de n’être point crus, quand même ils disoient la verité_. 180 The Tyrant _Hiero_ having asked _Simonides_ what God was? the Philosopher desir’d a Days Consideration for his Answer; then two, and then four, and so put it off from Day to Day: At last _Hiero_ ask’d him why he did not answer his Question, but always defer’d it to another time? because said _Simonides_ the more I think, the more I’m at a loss to find out this dark and obscure Thing. 180 Le Tyran _Hieron_ ayant demandé à _Simonide_ ce que c’ètoit que Dieu, ce Philosophe prit un jour de delay pour y répondre; puis deux, ensuite il en demanda quatre, & ainsi differoit toûjours. _Hieron_ à la fin luy demanda pourquoy il ne répondoit pas, & qu’il le remettoit toûjours à un autre temps? parce que, répondit _Simonides_, plus j’y pense, plus je m’y perds, & trouve la chose obscure. 181 _Socrates_ advised young Men to look themselves in a Glass, that if they were fine and handsom they might take care not to do any thing unworthy of their Beauty, and if on the contrary they were ugly and deformed, they should endeavour to drown the defects of the Body by the Virtues of the Mind. 181 _Socrate_ conseilloit aux jeunes gens de se regarder dans un miroir, afin que s’ils ètoient beaux & bien-faits, ils prissent garde de ne rien faire qui fut indigne de leur beauté; & qu’au contraire, s’ils étoient laids & difformes ils tâchassent d’effacer les defauts du Corps, par les vertus de l’Esprit. 182 A Man who was never married would persuade _Epictetus_ the Philosopher to take a Wife, shewing him by many Arguments that Marriage was a State both becoming and necessary for a Philosopher: _If it be so, give me then one of your Daughters_, answered _Epictetus_. 182 Un Homme qui ne s’ètoit jamais marié vouloit persuader au Philosophe _Epictete_ de prendre une Femme, lui faisant voir, par plusieurs raisons que le Mariage ètoit bien-seant & necessaire aux Philosophes: _Si cela est, donne-moy donc une de tes Filles_, lui répondit _Epictete_. 183 _Servius Geminus_ going one Day to see _Lucius Mallius_, a very skillful Painter, and seeing his Children who were extreme ugly, he could not forbear telling him that he wondred _he did make so fine Pictures and get such ugly Children_. To which _Mallius_ pleasantly reply’d, _don’t be surpriz’d at it, for I draw the Pictures in the Day, and get the Children in the Night_. 183 _Servius Geminus_ allant un jour rendre visite à _Lucius Mallius_, Peintre très habile, & voyant ses Enfans qui ètoient fort Laids, il ne se peut empêcher de lui dire _Qu’il s’ètonnoit de ce qu’il faisoit de si beaux Portraits, & des Enfans si laids_. _Mallius_ lui répondit agréablement, _n’en soyez point surpris, je fais les Portraits pendant le jour & les Enfans pendant la Nuit_. 184 King _Antigonus_ retiring from the Presence of the Enemy, who then were more powerful than he, some took his Retreat for a Flight; but he told them he did not fly, but rather followed his Profit and Advantage, 184 Le Roy _Antigonus_ se retirant de la presence des Ennemis, qui pour lors ètoient plus puissans que luy, quelques uns prirent sa retraite pour une fuite; mais il leur dit qu’il ne fuyoit point & qu’il alloit seulement où étoit son profit & son utilité. 185 The same Prince being ask’d how one might overcome his Enemies, answered, by Strength and Policy: _And that if the Lions Skin would not do, it must be ek’d out by the Fox’s Case_. 185 Ce même Prince interrogé de quelle maniere on pouvoit vaincre ses Ennemis, repondit que c’étoit, _par la force & par la ruse_; _& que si la peau du Lion n’étoit pas suffisante, il faloit y coudre celle du Renard_. 186 A young Man, who was a very great Talker, making a Bargain with _Isocrates_ to be taught by him, _Isocrates_ ask’d double the Price his other Scholars gave him; _and the reason_, said he, _is, that I must teach you two Sciences, the one to hold your Tongue, and the other to speak_. 186 Un jeune homme, fort grand parleur, voulant convenir du prix avec _Isocrate_ pour être enseigné; _Isocrate_ lui demanda le double de ce que lui donnoient ses autres Ecoliers: _Et la raison_, dit-il, _est qu’il faut que je t’enseigne deux Sciences, l’une de te taire, & l’autre de parler_. 187 The Philosopher _Anacreon_ having received a Present of ten thousand Crowns of _Policrates_ King of _Samos_, was taken with so great a fear of being robbed, that he could not sleep for three Nights and Days, which made him carry back the Present to that Prince, telling him that he prefer’d his Repose before the Disquiets which attend Riches. 187 Le Philosophe _Anacreon_ ayant receu de _Polycrate_ Roy de _Samos_ un Present de dix mille écus, il entra dans de si grandes apprehensions d’être volé, qu’il fut trois jours & trois nuits sans dormir; ce qui l’obligea à rapporter le Present à ce Prince, lui disant qu’il preferoit son repos aux inquietudes que les Richesses trainent après elles. 188 One asked _Chrisippus_ why he would not apply himself to the Government of the Common-wealth? _Because_, answered he, _if I do ill, I shall displease God, and if I do well, I shall displease Men_. But Sidonius, his Disciple, turned cunningly that Argument upon him, and told him: _You ought on the contrary, by all manner of Reasons, to take upon you the Administration of Affairs_; _for if you do well, you will please God, and if ill, you will please Men_. 188 On demandoit à Chrisippe pourquoi il ne se donnoit pas au gouvernemeur de la Republique? _Parceque_, repondit-il, _si je fais mal je deplairai à Dieu, & si je fais bien je deplairai aux hommes_; mais _Sidonius_ son Disciple retourna finement cêt Argument & lui dit, _vous devez au contraire par toutes sortes de Raisons entrer dans le Ministere, car si vous faites bien vous plairez à Dieu, & si vous faites mal vous plairez aux Hommes._ 189 _Solon_ being in Company, and holding his Peace, according to his Custom, there was a young Giddy-brain’d Fellow who told him he was silent because he was a Fool: _Solon_, without any concern, answered him wisely, _That there never was a Fool that could hold his Tongue_. 189 _Solon_ étant en Compagnie, & se taisant, selon sa Coûtume, il y eut un jeune Etourdi qui lui dit qu’il se taisoit parce qu’il ètoit fou; _Solon_, sans s’émouvoir, lui repondit sagement, _qu’il ne s’ètoit jamais trouvé de Fou qui pût se taire_. 190 _Cambyses_ a very severe and rigorous King, caus’d a Judge, tho’ his Friend, to be flead alive, because he took Bribes, and did not administer Justice according to Law and Equity: And having afterwards order’d the Judgment-Seat to be cover’d with his Skin, he placed his Son upon it, to succeed his Father in his Employment. 190 _Cambyse_ Roy fort severe & rigoureux, fit écorcher tout vif un Juge, quoy que son Ami, parce qu’il se laissoit corrompre par Presens, & qu’il n’administroit pas la Justice selon les Loix & l’Equité: Et ayant fait ensuite couvrir le Tribunal de sa Peau, il y fit asseoir son Fils, pour succeder à la charge de son Pere. 191 _Irene_ repairs with great cost and charge to _Epidaurus_, visits _Æsculapius_ in his Temple, and consults with him about all her Ailments. First of all she complains, _That she is weary, and spent with Fatigue_: And the God declares, _This is befallen her by the length of her Journey_. She says, _She has no Stomach at Night_; the Oracle prescribes her, _To eat but little at Dinner_. She asks him, _What makes her so heavy, and what Remedy for it?_ The Oracle answers, _She must rise early in the Morning, and use Exercise_. She tells him, _That Wine is hurtful to her_; so the Oracle bids her, _To drink Water. That she cannot digest what she eats_, and he adds, _she must keep a strict Diet_. _My Sight decays_, says Irene; _use then Spectacles_, says _Æsculapius_. _I grow weak_, says she farther, _neither am I so healthful as I have been_; _the reason of it_, says the God, _is because you grow old_. _But which way shall I recover my self?_ _The best way_, Irene, _is to dye, as did your Mother and Grandmother._ _Is this_, answered _Irene_, _all that Wisdom which Mankind proclaims, and which makes you to be reverenced by all the World? What a rare Mystery you learn me? Did I not know before all those Remedies you prescribe?_ _Why then did not you use them_, answers the God, _Without coming so far to me, and shortning your Days by so long a Journey?_ 191 _Irene_ se transporte à grands frais en _Epidaure_, void _Esculape_ dans son Temple, & le consulte sur tous ses maux. D’abord elle se plaint, _Qu’elle est lasse, & recreuë de fatigue_; & le Dieu prononce, _que cela lui arrive par la longueur du Chemin qu’elle vient de faire_. Elle dit, _qu’elle est le soir sans appetit_. L’Oracle lui ordonne, _de diner peu_. Elle lui demande, _pourquoy elle devient pesante, & quel remede?_ L’Oracle repond, _qu’elle doit se lever de bon matin & prendre de l’exercice_. Elle lui declare, _que le Vin lui est nuisible_; & l’Oracle luî dit, _de boire de l’eau_. _Qu’elle a des indigestions_, & il ajoûte, _qu’elle fasse Diete. Ma veuë s’affoiblit_, dit _Irene_, _Prenez donc des Lunettes_, dit _Esculape_. _Je deviens foible_, _continuë-t-elle_, _& je ne suis plus si saine que j’ai été_. _C’est_, dit le Dieu, _que vous vieillissez_. _Mais quel moyen de guerir de cette Langueur?_ _Le plus court_, Irene, _C’est de mourir, comme ont fait vôtre mere, & vôtre ayeule._ _Est ce-là_, repondit _Irene_, _toute cette Science que les hommes publient, & qui vous fait reverer de toute la Terre? que m’apprenez vous de rare & de mysterieux? & ne savois-je pas tous ces remedes que vous m’enseignez?_ _Que n’en usiez vous donc_, repondit le Dieu, _sans venir me chercher de si loin, & abbreger vos jours par un si long voyage?_ The _Ephesian_ Matron. 192 There was at _Ephesus_ a Lady in so great repute for Chastity, that the Women of the neighbouring Parts flock’d thither out of curiosity to see her. This discreet Lady upon the Death of her Husband, was not contented to assist at the Funeral, according to Custom, with dishevelled Hair, and beating her Breast before the Assistants, but she must needs follow the deceas’d to the very Monument, and having laid him in a Sepulcher according to the _Grecian_ Manner, watch’d the Corps; and wept over it Night and Day, she was in such Desolation, and so fully resolved to starve her self, that neither Relations nor Friends could persuade her from it. The Magistrates themselves us’d also their endeavours to no purpose, and so gave her over. And now so illustrious a Woman lamented by all, as one that’s dead and gone, had been five Days without tasting any Food. A faithful and affectionate Maid waited still upon this wretched Creature, mingling her Tears with hers, and repairing the light of a Lamp, as often as it happen’d to go out. She was therefore the only Discourse of the City, and every Body confest that this was the greatest instance of Love and Chastity that ever they heard of. _La Matrone d’_Ephese. 192 Il y avoit une Dame à _Ephese_ en si grande reputation de Chasteté, que les Femmes mêmes des Païs Voisins venoient en foule la voir par curiosité. Cette prude ayant perdu son mary ne se contenta pas, selon la coûtume, d’assister au convoy toute échevelée, & de se battre la Poitrine devant le Peuple, elle voulut suivre le défunt jusqu’au Monument, & après l’avoir mis dans un Sepulcre, à la maniere des _Grecs_, gardé le Corps, & pleuré Nuit & jour auprès de lui, se desolant de la sorte, & resoluë à se laisser mourir de Faim, les Parens ni les Amis ne l’en purent detourner: Les Magistrats rebutez les derniers l’abandonnerent: Et une Femme si illustre, pleurée de tous comme une Personne morte passoit déja le cinquieme jour sans manger. Une Servante fidelle & affectionnée ètoit toûjours auprés de la miserable, meloit ses larmes aux siennes, & renouvelloit la lumiere d’une Lampe toutes les fois qu’elle venoit à s’éteindre. On ne parloit donc d’autre chose dans la Ville, & tout le Monde demeuroit d’accord que c’ètoit le plus grand Exemple d’Amour & de Chasteté qu’on eût jamais veu. It happened at that very time that the Governour of the Province caus’d certain Thieves to be crucified near that Vault where the virtuous Lady kept such desperate Mourning over the Corps of her dear Husband. The Night following a Soldier who was set to guard the Crosses, for fear the Bodies should be stollen away, having seen a light in the Tomb, and hearing the Sighs and Complaints of one in Sorrow, out of a curiosity incident to all Men, grew desirous to know what this might be, and what passed there; thereupon he descends into the Monument, and beholding a very beautiful Woman, he stood both amaz’d and frighted, as if it had been a Phantom: But then viewing a dead Body stretched before her, and observing her Face bathed with Tears, and injured by her Nails, with all the other marks of solemn Woe, he judged of the Matter as it was, that an afflicted and disconsolate Woman that was not able to bear her loss, had abandoned her self to Grief and Despair. A moment after he brought his small Supper to the Tomb, and begins to exhort her not to persevere any longer in fruitless Groans and an unprofitable Sorrow; adding withal, that all Men have one common Exit; that we must all come at last to that long Home, and such other Reasons with which we generally use to cure the most distempered Minds. But she still more exasperated by so unexpected a Consolation, redoubles her Grief; tears her Breast with more violence, and pulls off her Hair, which she throws on that woeful Corps. The Soldier is not in the least discouraged by all this, but repeats still the same Exhortations, and endeavours to perswade her to take some Meat, till the Waiting-woman wrought upon, as ’tis probable, as much by the smell of the Wine, as by his Discourse, reach’d her Hand to him who so obligingly invited them, and having recovered some strength with Meat and Drink, began her self to attempt upon her Mistresses obstinacy. And what will your Ladiship get, said she, by starving your self to Death, burying your self alive, and giving up to Destiny that Breath which she does not demand from you? Il arriva qu’en ce même tems le Gouverneur de la Province fit attacher en croix quelques voleurs tout proche de cette même Cave, où la vertueuse Dame se desoloit sur le Corps de son cher Epoux. La Nuit suivante, comme un Soldat qui gardoit les Croix de peur que les Corps ne fussent enlevez, eût apperceu de la lumiere dans le Monument, & entendu les soupirs & les Plaintes d’une Personne affligée, par un esprit de curiosité commun à tous les hommes, il voulut savoir ce que ce pouvoit être, & ce qu’on y faisoit. Il descend donc au Sepulcre, & surpris de la veüe d’une fort belle Femme, il demeure d’abord épouvanté, comme si c’eût été un Fantôme: Puis ayant veu un Corps mort étendu devant ses yeux, consideré ses larmes, un visage dechiré avec les ongles, & toutes les autres marques de desolation, il s’imagina à la fin ce que c’ètoit; qu’une paure affligée s’abandonnoit aux regrets, & ne pouvoit souffrir sans desespoir la Mort de celui qu’elle avoit perdu. Un Moment après il apporte son petit Souper au Monument, & commence à l’exhorter de ne perseverer pas davantage dans une douleur inutile & des gemissemens superflus; que la sortie de ce Monde ètoit la même pour tous les Hommes; qu’il falloit tous aller en même lieu; & les autres raisons dont on a de coûtume de guerir les Esprits les plus Malades. Mais elle, irritée encore par une consolation si peu attenduë, redouble son deuil: se dechire l’estomac avec plus de violence, & s’arrache les Cheveux qu’elle jette sur ce miserable Corps. Le Soldat ne se rebute point pour cela, & avec les mêmes exhortations il essaye de lui faire prendre quelque nourriture, jusqu’à ce que la Suivante gagnée sans doute par l’odeur du Vin, autant que par son discours, tendit la main à celui qui les invitoit si obligeamment, & comme elle eût repris quelque vigueur par le boire & le manger, elle vint à combattre elle même l’opiniatreté de sa Maitresse. Et que vous servira, dit-elle, de vous laisser mourir de faim, de vous ensevelir toute vive, & de rendre à la Destinée un Ame qu’elle ne redemande pas encore. _Think you the Ghosts or Ashes of the Dead, Regard what Tears their Supervivers shed?_ What! Do you expect to restore a dead Body to life again, contrary to the Decrees of Nature? Believe me, give over a weakness which Women alone are capable of, and enjoy the sweets of Life as long as you can. This Corps that lies here before you, shews you too too well how precious Life is, and bids you to be more tender of it: Every Body is willing to lend an Ear to one that presses him to eat upon such occasions; and so this Woman, faint and weak by so long an Abstinence, suffer’d her obstinacy to be prevail’d upon, and filled her self with Meat with as greedy an Appetite as the Waiting-woman, who had yielded before. Now, you know that Temptations come generally upon a full Stomach, and those Arms which the Soldier had employ’d to combate her Despair, the same he us’d to attack her Chastity: And the young Widow seeing he was neither disagreeable nor without Wit, the Waiting-woman still playing her Part to further his design, and then repeating to her Mistress ever and anon, _What will you still a pleasing Love withstand?_ What makes me keep you any longer in suspence? The good Lady us’d the same Abstinence as to the other Part of her Body, and the Soldier fully satisfied, remained conquerour of both. Thus they continued together not only the first Night, but also the next Day, and the Day after that; the entrance of the Tomb being all this while so well closed, that had any body come to it, they must needs have supposed that the most honest Woman in the World had expired over her dear Husband. _Pensez vous que des Morts les insensibles Cendres, Vous demandent des Pleurs & des Regrets si tendres?_ Quoi! vous voulez ressusciter un Mort contre l’ordre de la Nature? croyez moi, defaites vous d’une foiblesse dont les seules Femmes sont capables & jouïssez des avantages de la lumiere tant qu’il vous sera permis. Ce Corps que vous voyez devant vous, montre assez le prix de la Vie, & vous avertit que vous devez mieux la menager. Personne n’écoute à regret quand on le presse de manger en de pareilles occasions. Ainsi cette Femme extenüée par une si longue astinence, laissa vaincre son obstination, & se remplit de viande avec la même avidité que la suivante, qui s’ètoit renduë auparavant. Au reste vous savez que les Tentations viennent d’ordinaire après le repas: Avec les mêmes Armes qu’employa le Soldat pour combattre son desespoir, avec les mêmes il attaqua sa Pudicité, & la jeune Veuve ne le trouvant ni desagréable, ni sans esprit, la suivante n’oubliant rien pour lui rendre de bons Offices, & disant ensuite à sa Maîtresse. _Songez, songez, à vous: voyez vôtre intérêt, Et ne combattez, pas un Amour qui vous plait._ Qui m’arrête davantage? la bonne Dame eût la même Abstinence en ce qui regarde cette Partie de son Corps, & le Soldat pleinement satisfait vint à bout de l’un & de l’autre. Ils demeurerent ensemble non seulement la premiere nuit de leur jouïssance, mais encore le lendemain, & le jour d’après, les portes si bien fermées, que quiconque fut venu au monument, soit connu ou inconnu, auroit cru, sans doute, que la plus honnête Femme du Monde avoit expiré sur le Corps de son Mari. The Soldier charm’d with the Beauty of his Lady, and the secrecy of his amourous Intreague, bought Provisions as far his small stock would let him, and brought them to the Tomb assoon as Night begun to approach. In the mean time the Relations of one of those that hang’d on the Gibbets, perceiving that there was no Guard to look after them, took down the Corps one Night and buried it. As for the poor Soldier detain’d from his Duty by the Allurements of his Pleasure, seeing the next day one of those Crosses with out its Carcase, he went to his Mistress full of apprehension of Punishment, and told her what had happened: That for his part he would not wait his Condemnation, but was resolv’d to do himself Justice, and punish immediately his neglect with his own Hand: That the only favour he begg’d of her was to take care of his Burial, and bestow it upon him in the same Sepulcher, equally fatal to her Husband and her Lover. The good Dame no less charitable than discreet: _Oh! may the Gods forbid_, said she, _that I should live to see at once the Funeral of two Persons so very dear to me, I have rather hang the Dead than be the ruin of the Living._ Then according to this fine Speech, she takes the Corps out of the Coffin, and having disfigur’d its Face, gives it him, in order to fix it to the empty Cross. The Soldier was so wise as to improve the ingenious Advice of so prudent a Woman: And the next Day all the People admired which way the dead Thief was got again upon his Cross, Le Soldat charmé de la beauté de sa Dame, & du secret de sa bonne Fortune, achetoit tout ce que son peu de bien lui pouvoit permettre, & à peine la nuit ètoit elle venuë, qu’il l’apportoit dans le monument. Cependant les Parens d’un de ces Pendus, comme ils s’apperceurent qu’il n’y avoit plus de Garde, enleverent le Corps une nuit, & lui rendirent les derniers devoirs. Mais le pauvre Soldat qui s’ètoit laissé abuser pour demeurer trop long tems attaché à son plaisir, voyant le lendemain une de ces Croix sans cadavre, alla trouver sa Maîtresse dans la crainte du supplice, & lui conta tout ce qui ètoit arrivé: quant au reste, il ètoit resolu de ne point attendre sa condamnation, & que se faisant justice lui même, il alloit punir sa negligence de sa propre main; Pour toute grace, qu’il la supplioit d’avoir soin de sa Sepulture & de la lui preparer en ce même tombeau fatal à son Epoux & à son Amant. Cette Femme aussi charitable que Prude, & aux Dieux ne plaise, dit-elle, que je voye en même tems les funerailles de deux personnes qui me sont si cheres; j’aime mieux pendre le Mort, que de faire perir le vivant. Selon ce beau discours elle tire le Corps de la Biere, lui defigure le visage, & le donne au Soldat pour l’attacher à cette croix où il n’y avoit plus rien. Le Soldat seut profiter du conseil ingenieux d’une Femme si avisée: & le lendemain tout le Peuple s’étonna de quelle maniere le Voleur mort avoit pu retourner au Gibet. _A Story taken out of_ Apuleius_’s Golden Ass._ 193 A Labouring Man that workt hard for his Livelyhood at the Forges, had a very handsom Wife, tho’ none of the most virtuous. This Poor wretch going out one Morning as he us’d to do, gave opportunity to an extravagant young Blade to slip into his House, where being in close conflict with his Wife, the Husband unexpectedly return’d, but finding the door fast, little suspected what had been done in his absence; he therefore within himself began to extol his Wives Chastity, and by a Whistle gave her notice of his coming. She in Cases of this Nature, being not a little Politick, soon disengaged her self from her Sparks embraces, and with a great deal of unconcern, hid him in an old empty Tub that stood in the corner of the Room; which done, opening the Door in a fury, she accosted her Cuckold after this manner. _Conte tiré de l’Ane d’Or d’_Apulée. 193 Un Ouvrier qui gagnoit sa vie à travailler aux Forges, avoit une Femme fort belle, mais qui n’ètoit pas des plus vertueuses. Ce pauvre malheureux ètant un jour sorti de bon matin, selon sa coûtume, donna occasion à un jeune Gaillard de se glisser dans sa Maison, où êtant aux prises avec sa femme, le Mari survint contre leur attente, mais trouvant la porte fermée, il ne se douta guere de ce qui s’ètoit passé en son absence. La dessus il loüa en soi même la chasteté de sa Femme, & avec un siflet l’avertit de son arrivée Elle, qui en pareilles occasions ne manquoit pas de Politique, se degagea bientôt des bras de son Amant, & sans s’émouvoir le cacha dans un vieux cuvier vuide, qui ètoit dans un coin de la chambre: cela fait, ouvrant la porte avec furie, elle parla à son mari de cette maniere. Is it thus, thou senseless Drone, that thou providest for the wants of thy Family? thus sauntering with Arms across, whilst I must labour both Day and Night to supply the wants occasion’d by thy Idleness: Oh! how much happier is my Neighbour _Daphne_, who has nothing else to do but be merry with her Lovers? To which the frighted Husband reply’d, What great harm is there, poor Chicken? tho’ our Master has no work for me to Day, by reason of attending his Law-business, yet I have provided for thy Dinner? Do’st thou see that old Tub there, that serves for nothing but to encumber our Room, why I have sold it, Honey, for Fifteen-pence, and the Man that bought it will be here presently to fetch it away. Come, lay aside thy Work and help me to cleanse it, for I would not by any means but deliver it sweet and wholsom into his Hands. Est-ce ainsi, sot lendore, que tu pourvois aux besoins de ta famille? Et que pendant que tu vas de la sorte les bras croisez il faut que je travaille jour & nuit pour supléer aux besoins où nous sommes réduits par ta paresse? Oh! combien plus heureuse que moy, est ma Voisine _Daphné_, qui n’a autre chose à faire qu’à se divertir avec ses Amans. A quoi le mari tout craintif repliqua: & quel grand mal y a-t-il, m’Amie? quoi que mon Maître n’ait point d’ouvrage pour moy d’aujourd’huy, je ne laisse pas d’avoir pourveu à ton Diner. Vois-tu ce vieux cuvier, qui ne sert à rien qu’à embarrasser la chambre? je viens, ma poupone, de le vendre pour quinze Sols & l’homme qui l’a acheté, va venir ici tout presentement pour l’emporter. Allons, laisse là un peu ton ouvrage, & aide moi à le nettoyer, car je ne voudrois pas pour quoi que ce soit, le lui livrer avant qu’il soit net & en bon état. Hereat the Wife began to laugh heartily, and being furnish’d with a Stratagem from the occasion, cry’d out, bless me! what a rare Stock-jobber have I got to my Husband, that could find in his Heart to let that go for 15 Pence, which I, tho’ a Woman, that never stirs abroad, have made shift to get half a Crown for. The Husband not a little pleased with his Wife’s Bargain, forthwith demanded what Sot it was that had offer’d so much? A Codshead you may be sure, reply’d the Wife, and to prove him such, he is just now got into it to see what Profit he is like to make. Here the Gallant finding his Cue, peep’d out, and cry’d, good Woman, would you have me tell you the Truth? this Tub is exceeding old, and very full of Cracks, you ought not in Conscience to have so much for it as I bid you. Then turning to her Husband, quoth he cunningly, and you, honest Man, whosoever you are, Prythee lend me a Candle a little, that I may scrape out the filth, and know whether it be for my turn or no, before I pay my Money, if you think I come honestly by it. Hereupon our subtile _Vulcan_, little dreaming of the design upon him, presently fetch’d a Candle, and coming up to him said, Prythee stand aside a little, Friend, and let me see what I can do, for ’tis but reason you should have it as clean as may be: Then stripping himself, and delivering the Candle to his Wife, he crept into the Tub, and begun to work amain on the dry’d Lees, whilst the crafty Lover did as much on his Confort, whom he had laid athwart the Vessel. Là dessus la Femme se mit à rire de bon appetit, & l’occasion lui fournissant un Stratageme, elle s’écria Misericorde! voilà un rare Marchand que mon mari, qui a seu vendre pour quinze Sols, une chose dont j’ai eu un demi-écu, quoy que je ne sois qu’une femme qui ne sors jamais du logis. Le mari ravi du marché de sa Femme, lui demanda d’abord qui ètoit le sot qui en avoit tant offert; quelque Benet comme vous pouvez croire, reprit la Femme, & pour preuve de cela, c’est qu’il vient de s’y fourrer pour voir le profit qu’il lui en reviendra. A ces Mots, le Galand, voyant qu’il ètoit tems qu’il joüât son Rolle mit la tête dehors, & dit: Bonne Femme, voulez vous que je vous parle franchement, ce cuvier est fort vieux & plein de fentes, & vous ne devez pas en Conscience en avoir ce que je vous en ai offert: Ensuite se tournant du côté du mari, il lui dit finement, & vous, mon ami, qui que vous soyez, je vous prie, donnez moy un peu une Chandelle, afin que je racle les ordures, & que je voye s’il fait pour moy, avant que j’en paye l’Argent, à moins que vous ne croyez que je l’aye derobé. Là dessus nôtre adroit _Vulcain_, ne songeant guere à ce qu’on meditoit contre lui, alla vîte chercher une Chandelle, & s’ètant approché de lui, il lui dit: Mon ami, ôte toi un peu de la, je te prie, & laisse moy voir ce que j’y puis faire, car il n’est que trop juste que tu l’ayes aussi net qu’il se pourra: ensuite ôtant son habit, & donnant la Chandelle à tenir à sa Femme, il entra dans le Cuvier, & se mit à travailler de toute sa force sur la lie seche, pendant que le rusé Galand en faisoit autant sur sa Femme, qu’il avoit couchée sur le cuvier. All this while the good Woman, leaning over her Head to light her Husband, amus’d the poor Man by shewing him that _here_ and _there_ and _there_ were places to be cleans’d. But at length both labours being ended, the contented Cuckold having receiv’d the half Crown, thought himself further oblig’d to take the Hogshead on his Back, and carry it to his Friends House. Cependant la bonne Femme, baissant la tête pour éclairer son mari, amusoit le pauvre homme en lui montrant plusieurs endroits qui avoit besoin d’être nettoyez. Mais enfin le travail de l’un & de l’autre étant fini, le cocu content, après avoir receu le demi écu, se crut encore obligé de charger le cuvier sur son dos, & de le porter chez son Ami. _A Story taken out of_ Theophilus. 194 _Larissa_ lov’d to tell Stories, and being one Day in Company, she was pleas’d to entertain them with the follies of her Youth, in this manner, _Conte tiré de_ Théophile. 194 L_arisse_ aimoit à conter, & se trouvant un jour en compagnie, elle voulut bien leur parler des folies de sa jeunesse, & le fit ainsi. I served once a _Roman_ Citizen, together with a young _Grecian_ Slave, whom the Storm had also oblig’d to serve, tho’ born Free. Nature had engraven in the Face of this young Man all the marks of Nobleness, and of that good Education which he ow’d to his Birth and the care of his Parents; and one might easily see that he was not born for the Condition to which his hard Fortune had reduc’d him; if he was to carry any Burden, he sunk under the lightest; yet he would needs do every thing, and forgot his Birth, to adapt himself to the present State of his Fortune. But not being able to bear hard labour, nor the course Food of Servants, he grew insensibly very weak, and neglected himself to that degree, that he did not so much as comb his Hair, which was the finest in the World. In a little time he became lean and full of Wrinckles, his Eyes grew hollow and languishing, his Hands black and course; in fine, he was not the same Man: Melancholy had sunk his Spirit, as much as Fatigue had impair’d his Health. he figh’d often, and his affliction mov’d my Pity; I thought Fortune was very unjust to him; I endeavoured to comfort him under it; wept for his Misfortunes; taught him what he must do, and did part of it my self to ease him. His wretched state did not take away from him a noble Air, and I know not what preheminence over my Birth, which made me sensible of the difference of his, to which I willingly submitted. He knew well enough how much he was oblig’d to me, and return’d me thanks with the politeness of a Courtier. In short, I was so much affected with those Accomplishments, that thinking I had only Pity for his Misfortunes, I found my self in Love with his Person; and indeed I lov’d him desperately. Je servois chez un Citoyen _Romain_ avec un jeune _Grec_ son Esclave, que la tempête avoit obligé de servir aussi, quoi que né libre. La nature avoit mis sur le visage de ce jeune homme toutes les marques de la noblesse & de la bonne éducation qu’il devoit à sa naissance & aux soins de ses Parens; et on voyoit bien qu’il n’étoit pas né pour l’état où son malheur l’avoit reduit; s’il falloit porter quelque fardeau, il succomboit aux plus legers: Cependant il vouloit tout faire, & il oublioit sa naissance, pour tâcher de s’accommoder à l’état present de la Fortune. Mais ne pouvant resister à la fatigue, ni à la nourriture de valet, il tomba peu à peu dans un grand abbatement, & il se negligeoit à un point qu’il ne peignoit pas même les plus beaux cheveux du monde qu’il avoit. En peu de temps il devint maigre & ridé, il eut les yeux cavez & languissans; les mains noires & pleines de calus: enfin il n’étoit plus reconnoissable. La tristesse lui avoit abbatu l’esprit, autant que la fatigue lui avoit alteré la santé. Il soûpiroit souvent; & son affliction me faisoit pitié; Je trouvois la fortune bien injuste à son egard; je l’exhortois à se consoler; je pleurois ses malheurs, je lui apprenois ses fonctions, & je le soulageois même de quelques-unes. Sa misere ne lui ôtoit pas un air noble, & je ne sçai quelle superiorité sur ma naissance, qui me faisoit sentir la difference de la sienne, à laquelle je me soûmetois volontiers. Il sentoit bien les obligations qu’il m’avoit & il m’en remercioit avec la politesse d’un homme de la Cour. Enfin toutes ces bonnes qualitez me toucherent si fort, que ne croyant avoir que de la pitié pour ses malheurs, je me trouvai de l’amour dans le cœur pour sa personne, & je l’aimai éperdument. This Story of _Larissa_ had drawn to her the attention of the whole Company, but especially of two young Maidens, who counterfeited sleep, lest decency should oblige them to retire, if they seem’d to hear what she said. One of them having open’d her Eyes, and cast them upon _Larissa_, as tho’ it were by Chance, closed them again immediately. As for the other, making as if she was just awake, is it Day already? Said she, with a blush. The Company took notice of their cunning, and fell a laughing; in the mean time _Larissa_ had done speaking, alledging that she was unwilling to go through with this Adventure, for fear of making the young Ladies uneasy, and begun to threaten the Company with some old and grave Stories. But _Eugenius_ impatient to know the rest of this Tale, Alass! _Larissa_, said he, these young Maids have all this while counterfeited sleep only to hear you speak with more liberty; and I assure you, they long more than any of us to know the end of your Story. Go on I beseech you, said he embracing her. She consented, promis’d to end the Story as modestly as possible, and calling the young Maids she told them. _Tho’ Maids be tied to Modesty, Yet youth allows some Liberty._ And thus resum’d her Discourse. _Larisse_ par ce conte, avoit attiré l’attention de toute la compagnie, mais sur tout de deux jeunes Filles qui faisoient semblant de dormir de peur que la Bienseance ne les obligeat de se retirer si elles paroissoient entendre ce qu’elle disoit; l’une d’elles ayant ouvert les yeux pour regarder _Larisse_, comme si c’eut été sans dessein, les referma aussi-tôt. Pour l’autre, faisant semblant de se reveiller: Est-il déja jour? dit elle, & rougit en le disant. La compagnie connût leurs finesses, & s’en réjouit fort. Cependant _Larisse_ avoit cessé de parler, disant qu’elle ne vouloit pas achever le recit de cette avanture, de peur de faire de la peine à ces jeunes Filles & elle menaçoit la compagnie de quelques vieilles Histoires serieuses; Mais _Eugene_ impatient de scavoir le reste du conte: Hé _Larisse_ lui dit-il, ces jeunes Filles n’ont fait semblant de dormir, que pour vous écouter avec plus de liberté: je vous assure qu’elles ont plus d’envie que pas un de nous de scavoir la fin de vôtre histoire. Continuez, je vous en conjure, lui dit-il en l’embrassant. Elle y consentit, promit d’achever le conte le plus modestement qu’elle pourroit; & faisant approcher d’elle les jeunes filles leur dit, _Il est permis aux jeunes gens De n’ètre pas toûjours si Sages._ Et recommenca ainsi à parler: One while I complained of Love, and another while I pray’d to him: Great God, said I often to him, either cure me or make me belov’d of him I love. All this while I could neither eat nor sleep. _Gison_, (for that was the name of my Dear) recover’d his Beauty every Day; for Time, which conquers all, had alleviated his Sorrows. For my part, I was no more the same Woman, and the more _Glison_’s charms encreas’d, the more my secret Passion alter’d my Mind, my Face and Humour. I had not the assurance of disclosing my Passion, and yet was mad to conceal it: As for _Glison_ he was unacquainted with my Disease; he was sorry for me, and only repaid with thankfulness the Obligations he had to me, and contented himself to ease me in my Business of a Slave, as I had done him in his. But at last being no longer Mistress of my Passion, I saw my self forc’d to discover it; therefore upon a Friday, Oh! happy Day, which I shall never forget, having found _Glison_ upon my Bed, where he used sometimes to take his Repose after Dinner, I desired him, melting into Tears, to take pity on me. He granted my request, and seem’d very well pleas’d to have sav’d my Life. Tantôt je me plaignois de l’Amour, & tantôt je le priois. Grand Dieu, lui disois-je souvent, ou gueris moi, ou me fais aimer de ce que j’aime. Cependant je ne mangeois, ni ne dormois plus. La beauté de _Glison_, c’ètoit le nom de celui que j’aimois, revenoit tous les jours; car le temps, qui vient à bout de tour, avoit addouci ses chagrins. Pour moi je n’ètoit plus reconnoissable & plus les agrémens de _Glison_ augmentoient, plus ma passion secrette changeoit mon esprit, mon Visage, & mon humeur. Je n’osois decouvrir mon Amour, & j’ètois au desespoir de le taire: mais _Glison_ ne connoissoit pas mon mal. Il me plaignoit, & payoit de reconnoissance seulement les obligations qu’il m’avoit, & se contentoit de me soulager de mes devoirs d’esclave, comme je l’avois soulagé dans les siens. Mais enfin ne me trouvant plus Maîtresse de mon Amour, je vis bien qu’il faloit me declarer. Un Vendredy donc, ô jour heureux! que je n’oublierai jamais, ayant trouvé _Glison_ sur mon lit, où il se reposoit quelquefois après diné, je le priai en fondant en larmes d’avoir pitié de moi, il ne s’en defendit pas, & me parût fort aise de m’avoir sauvé la Vie. Now you, my Children, be merry whilst youth permits you; for the remembrance of past Pleasures will be the only ones of your old Age. Vous autres, mes Enfans, rejouissez vous pendant que l’âge vous le permet. Le souvenir des plaisirs passez seront les seuls de vôtre Vieillesse. The ingenious Thoughts, noble Sentiments, Jests and witty Reparties of the MODERNS. With some pleasant STORIES, _ENGLISH_ and _FRENCH_. 1 _Henry_ the Eighth King of _England_, being at odds with _Francis_ I. King of _France_, resolv’d to send him an Ambassadour with a very haughty and threatning Message, and to that purpose made choice of Bishop _Bonner_, in whom he reposed great Confidence. The Bishop told him, that his Life would be in great danger, if he should offer such Language to so high-spirited a King as _Francis_ the First. Be not afraid, said _Henry_ VIII. for should the _French_ King put you to Death, I would take off many a Head of those _French_ Men that are here in my Power: _I believe so_, answer’d the Bishop, _but of all those Heads_, added he with smile, _none would fit my Shoulders so well as this_, pointing to his own. This witty answer pleased the King, and made him reform the Instructions of his Ambassador. Les Pensees ingenieuses, nobles Sentimens, Bons Mots, & Reparties fines des MODERNES. Avec quelques CONTES Plaisans. En _ANGLOIS_ & en _FRANÇOIS_. 1 _Henry_ VIII. Roy d’_Angleterre_, ayant des demelez avec _François_ I. Roy de _France_, resolut de lui envoyer un Ambassadeur, & de le charger de plusieurs paroles fieres & menaçantes, & choisit pour cét employ l’Evêque _Bonner_, en qui il avoit beaucoup de confiance; cét Eveque lui representa que sa vie seroit en grand danger, s’il tenoit de pareils discours à un Roy aussi fier qu’ètoit le Roy _François_ Premier: Ne craignez rien lui dit _Henry_ VIII. Si le Roy de _France_ vous faisoit mourir, je ferois abbatre bien de têtes à quantité de _François_, qui sont ici en ma puissance; _je le crois_, répondit l’Eveque, _Mais de toutes ces têtes_, ajoûta t-il en riant, _il n’y en a pas une qui vint si bien sur mes Epaules que celle-cy_, en lui montrant la sienne. Cette reponse agréable pût au Roy, & l’obligea à reformer l’instruction de son Ambassadeur. 2 Sir _Thomas More_, a famous Chancellor of _England_, seeing in Prison by _Henry_ the Eights Order, let both his Hair and Beard grow; and as a Barber came to trim him, _Friend_, said he, _the King and I have a Suit for my Head, and I’ll spend no cost upon the trimming of it, till I know which of us is to have the disposal of it_. 2 Le Chevalier _Thomas More_, fameux Chancelier d’_Angleterre_, ètant en Prison par l’ordre de _Henry_ VIII laissa croitre ses cheveux & sa barbe; & comme un Barbier, se presenta pour les lui couper & pour le razer, _Mon Ami_, lui dit-il, _Nous avons le Roy & moy un Procez pour ma tête, & je ne veux faire aucune depense pour l’ajuster, que je ne sache qui de nous deux en doit disposer_. 3 _Bacon_, another renown’d Chancellor of _England_, received a Visit from Queen _Elizabeth_ at a Country House which he had built before his Preferment: _How is it_, said the Queen to him, _that you have built so little a House_? _Madam_, reply’d the Chancellor, _it is not I that made my House too little, but your Majesty that made me too great for my House_. Besides the Wit and Pleasantness of this answer, it carries with it such an Air of Modesty and Gratitude as ought to recommend it to our esteem. 3 _Bacon_, autre célébre Chancelier d’_Angleterre_, fut visité par la Reine _Elizabeth_, dans une Maison de Campagne qu’il avoit fait bâtir devant sa Fortune, _D’où vient_, lui dit la Reine, _que vous avez fait une si petite Maison?_ _Ce n’est pas moy, Madame_, reprit le Chancelier, _qui ai fait ma Maison trop petite, mais c’est vôtre Majesté qui m’a fait trop grand pour ma Maison._ Outre l’Esprit & l’agrément de cette réponse, elle marque une Modestie & une Reconnoissance qui doivent la faire estimer. 4 In _Spain_ Love seems to be the only business of Life; whereas what they call Love in _France_, is most commonly nothing but speaking of Love, and adding to the Sentiments of Ambition the Vanity of amorous Intrigues: Wherefore a _Spanish_ Lady, reading not long since the Romance of _Cleopatra_, and after a long recital of Adventures being come to a nice and tender Conversation between a Lover and his Mistress, both passionately in Love: _Bless me_, said she, _how much Wit is here lost, to what purpose are all these fine Speeches when they are together and alone?_ 4 En _Espagne_ il semble qu’on ne vive que pour aimer: Au lieu que ce qu’on appelle aimer en _France_, n’est le plus souvent que parler d’Amour, & ajoûter aux sentiments de l’Ambition, la vanité des Galanteries. D’où vient qu’une Femme de qualité _Espagnole_ lisant, il n’y a pas long tems, le Roman de _Cleopatre_, & aprés un long recit d’Avantures, ètant tombée sur une Conversation delicate d’un Amant & d’une Amante, également passionnez, _Que d’Esprit mal employé_, dit-elle, _à quoi bon tous ces beaux discours quand ils sont ensemble & qu’ils sont seuls?_ 5 A _Spanish_ Lady young and beautiful, went to confess to a Friar of that Country. The Father Confessor after many Questions about the Heads of her Confession, grew desirous to be acquainted with her, and askt what her Name was. The Lady who felt no Temptation to gratify his Curiosity, answered, _Father, my Name is no Sin_. 5 Une Dame _Espagnole_, jeune & bien faite alla à confesse à un Religieux de son Païs. Le Confesseur aprés lui avoir fait plusieurs questions sur les matieres de sa Confession, devint curieux de la connoître & lui demanda son nom. La Dame, qui ne se sentit point tentée de satisfaire sa curiosité, lui répondit, _Mon Pere, mon nom n’est pas un Peché_. 6 Another _Spanish_ Lady went to the Church belonging to a Monastery of Friars, in order to Confess, and finding a Friar of that House alone in one of the Chappels, she kneeled down by him, and told him all her Sins; and as he answered nothing, she askt him his Absolution. I cannot give it you, said the Friar, for I am no Priest. You are no Priest? said the Lady, very much surpriz’d, and in a great Passion: No, Madam, answer’d coldly the Friar. Well, reply’d she, I go and complain of you to your Superiour, for hearing my Confession: _And I_, return’d the Friar, _I go and tell News of you to your Husband_. Whereupon, being entred upon a compensation of Threatnings, they parted upon even Terms; the Lady having wisely considered that it was not for her interest that this Adventure should be made publick. 6 Une autre Dame _Espagnole_ alla dans une Eglise de Religieux à dessein de s’y confesser & trouvant un Religieux de cette Maison, qui ètoit alors seul dans une Chapelle, Elle se mit à genoux auprés de lui, & lui dit tous ses pechez: Et comme il ne lui repondit rien, elle lui demanda ensuite l’Absolution. Je ne puis pas vous la donner, lui dit le Religieux, car je ne suis pas Prêtre. Vous n’étes pas Prêtre? lui dit la Dame fort surprise & fort en colere: Non, Madame, lui repondit froidement le Religieux. Je vais, lui repliqua-t-elle me plaindre à vôtre Supérieur de ce que vous avez entendu ma Confession. _Et moy_, lui repartit le Religieux, _je vais dire de vos nouvelles à vôtre Mari_. Surquoy étant entrez en compensation de menaces, ils se separerent but à but, la Dame ayant jugé sagement, qu’il n’ètoit pas de son intérêt de divulguer cette Avanture. 7 The Count of _Orgaz_, a Grandee of _Spain_, being willing to have with him a Man of Learning for the Pleasure of Conversation, one of his Friends presented him one, of whom he ask’d at first sight, whether he could make Verses? The Scholar answer’d, he might judge of it by the Composures he would shew him of his own making, and so the next Day brought him many _Romances_ or _Ballads_, and other _Spanish_ Poems of all Kinds. The Grandee having read them over, told his Friend, this Man did not fit him: And why, ask’d his Friend, _Because_, reply’d he, _I hold that Man for a Dunce that can’t make two Verses, and for a Fool, him that makes four_. The _Spanish_ runs thus, _Tengo por necio al que no sabe hazer una copla, y por loco al que haze dos_. 7 Le Comte d’_Orgaz_, Grand d’_Espagne_, voulant avoir auprés de lui un homme de Lettres pour le plaisir de la Conversation, un de ses Amis lui en presenta un à qui il demanda d’abord s’il savoit faire des Vers? L’homme de Lettres lui repondit qu’il en jugeroit par les Ouvrages qu’il lui feroit voir de sa façon: Et il lui apporta le lendemain quantité de _Romances_, & d’autres Poësies _Espagnolles_ de toutes les especes. Le Grand d’_Espagne_ après les avoir leües, dit à son Ami que cét Homme ne l’accommodoit pas: Et pourquoi? lui demanda son Ami; _C’est_, repliqua-t-il, _que je tiens pour sot celui qui ne sait pas faire deux Vers, & pour fou celui qui en fait quatre._ En _Espagnol_, _Tengo por necio al que no sabe hazer una copla, por loco al que haze dos_. 8 A Chymist having dedicated to Pope _Leo_ X. a Book; wherein he pretended to teach the way of making Gold, expected to receive a magnificent Present: But the Pope sent him only a great empty Purse, with this Complement, _That since he knew how to make Gold, he wanted but something to put it in_. 8 Un Chymiste ayant dedié au Pape _Leon_ X. un Livre où il se vantoit d’apprendre la maniere de faire de l’Or, s’attendoit à recevoir un magnifique Present: Mais le Pape ne lui envoya qu’une grande Bourse toute vuide, & lui fit dire, _Que puis qu’il savoit faire de l’Or, il n’avoit besoin que d’un lieu pour le mettre_. 9 A Gentleman of the Court of _France_, went to one of his Friends to wish him joy about a Dignity to which he was lately raised: This Man puffed up with his new Preferment, ask’d who he was? the other, without discomposing himself, speaks to another tune, and tells him, _That he came to condole the Misfortune that had befallen him, and that he was extreme sorry to see him both Deaf and Blind, since he knew not his best Friends_. 9 Un Galant homme de la Cour de _France_ alla chez un de ses Amis pour le feliciter d’une dignité qu’il avoit obtenuë depuis peu: Celui-ci tout fier de sa nouvelle élevation demanda qui il ètoit? l’autre sans se deconcerter, change de langage, & lui dit, _Qu’il venoit lui témoigner la douleur qu’il avoit du malheur qui lui ètoit arrivé & qu’il ètoit fort touché de le voir sourd & aveugle, puis qu’il ne reconnoissoit plus ses meilleurs Amis_. 10 A bad _Italian_ Preacher made one Day a Sermon upon the Panegyrick of a Saint, and in the heat of his Discourse ask’d with a great Motion, where shall I place my Saint? Where shall I place my Saint? A merry Fellow who happen’d to be one of his Hearers, being tired with his Preaching, resolv’d to be gone, and cry’d to him in a loud Voice: _Here is my room that I leave for him_. 10 Un méchant Prédicateur _Italien_ préchoit un jour le Panegyrique d’un Saint, & ètant dans l’ardeur de son Discours, il demandoit avec beaucoup d’emotion où mettrai-je mon Saint? où mettrai-je mon Saint? un Plaisant qui ètoit dans son Auditoire, ennuyé de sa Predication, resolut de s’en aller, & lui cria tout haut: _Voilà ma place que je lui laisse_. 11 The famous _Moliere_ being dead, many Poetasters writ Epitaphs upon him. One of them went one Day and presented one of his own making to a Prince much renown’d for his Wit: _Would to God, Sir_, said the Prince, receiving the Epitaph, _that_ Moliere _presented me yours_. 11 Quand le fameux _Moliere_ fut mort, plusieurs mauvais Poëtes lui firent des Epitaphes. Un d’entr’eux, alla un jour en presenter une de sa façon à un Prince fort célébre par son Esprit: _Plût à Dieu, Monsieur_, lui dit le Prince en la recevant, _que_ Moliere _me presentât la vôtre_. 12 A _French_ Courtier was suspected of defect, but would never own it; one Day meeting the Poet _Benserade_, who had often jeer’d him about it; Sir, said he, for all your silly Jests, my Wife was brought to Bed two Days ago: _Faith, Sir_, reply’d Benserade, _I never questioned your Wife_. 12 Un homme de la Cour de _France_ ètoit soupconné d’être impuissant, & ne vouloit jamais demeurer d’accord qu’il le fût; il rencontra un jour le Poëte _Benserade_, qui l’avoit souvent raillé là dessus. Monsieur, lui dit il, nonobstant toutes vos mauvaises Plaisanteras, ma Femme est accouchée depuis deux jours: _Hé, Monsieur_, lui repliqua _Benserade, on n’a jamais douté de vôtre Femme_. 13 A petty Prince of _Italy_ being informed that a _French_ Gentleman who was at his Court, had made a jest of him and his designs, sent one to bid him depart his Dominions within three Days: _He does me too great a Favour_, answered the French Man, _in granting me so much time: I don’t want above three quarters of an Hour to obey him_. 13 Un petit Prince d’_Italie_ ayant appris qu’un Gentilhomme _François_ qui ètoit en sa Cour, avoit fait quelques railleries de lui & de ses desseins, lui envoya dire qu’il eût à sortir dans trois jours de ses ètats. _Il me fait trop de Grace_, repondit le _François_, _de m’accorder un si long terme: Je n’ai pas besoin de plus de trois quarts d’heure pour lui obeïr_. 14 The Mother of a young wanton Lady designed to send her to the Nunnery of the _Repenting-Maids_: I am not of that Mind, said a Lady of her Relations; and why? askt the Mother, _Because she’s neither_, answer’d th’other. 14 La Mere d’une Demoiselle jeune & coquette vouloit l’envoyer au Convent des _Filles Repenties_. Je n’en suis pas d’avis, dit une Dame de ses Parentes, & pourquoi? lui demanda la Mere: _C’est_, repondit-elle, _parce qu’elle n’est ni l’une ni l’autre_. 15 The _French_ King said some Days ago to _Racine_ and _(Boileau) Despreaux_, I am sorry you did not come to this last Campaign, for you had seen the War, and your Journey had not been long: _Sir_, answer’d _Racine_, _we had no Cloaths but for the Town, and bespoke some for the Camp; but those Places you attackt were sooner taken than our Cloaths made_. 15 Le Roy de _France_ dit il y a quelques jours à _Racine_ & à _Despreaux_, je suis fâché que vous ne soyez venus à cette derniere Campagne, vous auriez veu la Guerre, & vôtre voyage n’eût pas été long. _Racine_ lui repondit, _Sire, nous n’avions que des habits de Ville, nous en commandâmes de Compagne, mais les Places que vous attaquez, furent plûtot prises que nos habits ne furent faits_. 16 Three Gentlemen playing together, a mad Bull ran into the Place where they were: So one hid himself under a Bed, another went into a Hogshead, and the third under an Asses Pack-saddle. Now as they told their Friends how they escaped, they all laugh’d at him who had hid himself under the Packsaddle; but one of them said: _Truly he was in the right on’t, for he had a mind to die with his Cloaths on_. 16 Trois Gentilhommes ètant à joüer ensemble, un Taureau en fureur entra dans le lieu oû ils ètoient: l’un se cacha sous un lit, l’autre se mit dans un Tonneau, & le troisieme sous le Bât d’un Ane. Comme ils racontoient à leurs Amis de quelle maniere ils ètoient èchappez, tous se mocquerent de celui qui s’ètoit caché sous le Bât; mais il y en eut un qui dit: _Il avoit asseurément raison d’avoir voulu mourir avec son habit_. 17 One ask’d an old Man what he had done to live to so great an Age; answer’d he, _when I could sit I never stood, I married late, was soon a Widower, and never married again_. 17 Un homme demandoit à un vieillard comment il avoit fait pour vivre si long tems: Il lui repondit, _pouvant être assis, je ne me suis point tenu debout; je me suis marié fort tard, j’ai été bien tôt veuf, & je ne me suis point remarié_. 18 A Fellow whom the Hangman whipt through a Town, walked so softly that one of the Spectators came near him and told him: _Thou Wretch! thou goest so slowly, that thou wilt have many a lash to tell before thou comest to thy journies end: Go, mend thy pace, that thou may’st the sooner get out of this Torment and Ignominy_. The Malefactor answer’d him: _When thou art whipt, thou may’st go as thou thinkest fit, for my own part, I will go at my ease_, 18 Un Malheureux que le Bourreau foüettoit dans une Ville alloit si doucement qu’un des Spectateurs s’approcha & lui dit: _Miserable, tu vas si lentement que tu en compteras de belles, avant que tu sois à la fin de ton voyage; marche, double le pas, pour sortir, au plus vite de ce supplice & de cette honte_. Le Patient lui repondit, _quand tu seras foüetté tu iras comme il te plaira, pour moy, je veux aller à mon aise_. 19 A Man of _Perusa_ was in great despair, and melted into Tears, because his Wife had hang’d herself on a Fig-tree that was in his Yard. One of his Neighbours seeing him in this sad Condition, came to him, and whisper’d softly in his Ear: _What a Fool thou art to grieve at this rate, when thou hast so much reason to rejoyce, prithee give me a slip of that Fig-tree, that I may set it in my Garden to try what my Wife will do_. 19 Un homme de _Perouse_ se desesperoit & fondoit en pleurs de ce que sa Femme s’ètoit penduë à un Figuier qui ètoit dans sa Cour. Un de ses Voisins le voyant dans ce triste ètat, s’approcha de lui, & lui dit tout doucement à l’Oreille: _Que tu es fou, de affliger ainsi lors que tu as tant de sujet de te rejouir! donne moy, je te prie, un rejetton de ce Figuier, afin que je le plante dans mon jardin, pour voir ce que ma Femme sait faire_. 20 _Laurence_, Prince _Palatine_, found fault with the Emperour _Sigismundus_, because instead of putting to Death his conquered Enemies, he loaded them with Favours, and put them in a Condition to hurt him: _Why! don’t I put them to Death_, said he, _when I make their hatred cease, and gain their Friendship?_ 20 _Laurent_, Prince _Palatin_, reprochoit à l’Empareur _Sigismond_, qu’au lieu de faire mourir ses Ennemis vaincus, il les combloit de Graces, & les mettoit en ètat de lui nuire: _Ne les fais-je pas mourir_, dit-il, _en faisant cesser leur haine & les rendant mes Amis?_ 21 A Lord having pitcht upon an ignoramus to be his Library-keeper, _That’s the Seraglio_, said a very witty Lady, _committed to the Custody of an Eunuch_. 21 Un Seigneur ayant choisi un homme ignorant pour être son Bibliotéquaire, _C’est_, dit une Femme de qualité fort spirituelle, _le Serrail qu’on a donné à garder à un Eunuque_. 22 _Balzac_ having occasion for some Money, sent to his Friend _Voiture_ to desire him to lend him four Hundred Crowns, and charged his Valet-de-Chambre to give him a Note for the like Sum. _Voiture_ told the Money, and being offered the Note, which ran thus, _I promise to pay to Mr._ Voiture _the Sum of four Hundred Crowns which he has sent me_, &c. He takes it, peruses it, and underwrites these Words, _I promise to pay to Mr._ Voiture _the Sum of eight Hundred Crowns, for the Favour he has done me of borrowing four Hundred of me_, &c. And so he gives the Note to the Valet-de-Chambre to carry it back to his Master. 22 _Balzac_ ayant besoin d’Argent, envoya prier _Voiture_ son Ami de vouloir bien lui preter quatre Cens êcus & chargea son Valet de Chambre de donner à _Voiture_ une Promesse de pareille somme: _Voiture_ conta l’Argent, & comme on lui presenta la Promesse où il y avoit ces Mots, _Je promets de payer à Monsieur de_ Voiture _la somme de quatre cens écus qu’il ma pretée_, &c. il la prend, la lit, & souscrit ces Paroles, _Je promets de payer à Monsieur de_ Balzac _la somme de huit cents écus, pour le plaisir qu’il m’a fait de m’en emprunter quatre cens_. Aprés cela il rend la promesse au Valet de Chambre pour la reporter à son Maître. 23 _Henry_ IV. King of _France_ was so generous, that he ordered _Vitri_, Captain of his Life-Guards, to take into his Troop the Man that wounded him in the Battle of _Aumale_. The Mareschal d’_Estrees_ being one Day in his Coach, and this Life-Guard-man riding by the Boot, _There is_, said the King, pointing to him, _the Soldier who wounded me at the Battle of_ Aumale. 23 _Henri_ IV. Roy de _France_ fut si genereux que de vouloir que _Vitri_ Capitaine de ses Gardes du Corps, recût dans sa Compagnie celui qui le blessa dans la Bataille d’_Aumale_. Le Maréchal d’_Etrées_ ètant un jour dans son Carrosse, & ce garde marchant à la Portiere, _Voilà_, lui dit le Roy, en le montrant, _le Soldat qui me blessa à la Bataille d’_Aumale. 24 One was telling to the same Prince, that tho’ he had pardoned and bestow’d many Favours on one of the Captains of the League, yet he was not well-affected to him, he answer’d: _I will do him so much good that I’ll force him to love me whether he will or no._ Thus this Prince won the most rebellious, and was us’d to say, _that more Flies were catch’d with a Spoonful of Honey, than with twenty Hogsheads of Vinegar_. 24 Comme on disoit à ce même Prince, que bien qu’il eût pardonné, & fait plusieurs Graces à un brave, qui avoit été un des Capitaines de la Ligue, il n’en ètoit pourtant pas aimé, il répondit: _Je veux lui faire tant de bien que je le forcerai de m’aimer malgré lui._ Ce grand Prince gagnoit ainsi les plus rebelles, & il disoit souvent, _qu’on prenoit plus de mouches avec une cueillerée de miel, qu’avec vingt tonneaux de Vinaigre_. 25 An Archbishop of _Florence_ said to a Cardinal: _Men are very unfortunate, all their happiness consists in the Goods either of the Soul, the Body, or Fortune, and yet they are always plagued by too subtle Lawyers, Ignorant Physicians, or bad Divines._ 25 Un Archévêque de _Florence_ disoit à un Cardinal: _Les Hommes sont bien malheureux: tout leur bonheur consiste aux biens de l’Ame, du Corps, ou de la Fortune, cependant ils sont toûjours tourmentez par les trop subtils Avocats, par les Medecins ignorans, & par les mauvais Theologiens._ 26 A _Spaniard_ being a Board a Ship in a Storm, the Captain commanded that the most cumbersom and heavy Things should be thrown over-board to ease the Vessel. Thereupon the _Spaniard_ took his Wife, and would have thrown her into the Sea, and as the Captain ask’d him the reason of it, he answered: _I have nothing that’s more heavy and cumbersom to me than my Wife, and so I perform your Command upon her._ 26 Un _Espagnol_ ètant dans un Vaisseau qui fut surpris de la Tempête, le Capitaine fit commandement de jetter en Mer les choses qui incommodoient & pesoient le plus pour soulager le Navire. Aussitôt l’_Espagnol_ prit sa Femme, & la vouloit jetter dans l’Eau; & comme le Capitaine lui demanda la raison de ce procedé, il repondit; _Je n’ai rien qui me pese & qui m’incommode plus que ma Femme, c’est pourquoi j’execute sur elle vôtre commandement._ 27 _Alphonsus_ King of _Aragon_, seeing a Gally full of Soldiers ready to be cast away, commanded she should be succour’d; and as he was slowly obey’d, by reason of the danger, he was going himself to its relief; and because every Body told him what danger he exposed himself to: _Nay_, said he, _I had rather be a sharer than a Spectator of the Death of my Soldiers._ 27 _Alphonse_ Roy d’_Aragon_, voyant qu’une Galere chargée de Soldats perissoit, commanda qu’on l’allat secourir; & comme on tardoit à lui obeïr, a cause du peril, il se mit lui même en ètat de courir à son secours; & sur ce que chacun lui representoit le danger où il s’exposoit! _Ah!_ dit-il, _j’aime mieux être Compagnon que Spectateur de la Mort de mes Soldats._ 28 King _Henry_ the IV, hearing that a famous _Protestant_ Physician had quitted his Religion, and turned _Roman_ Catholick, said to the Duke of _Sully_, who was then with him: _My friend, thy Religion is very desperate, since ’tis given over by the Physicians._ 28 Le Roy _Henri_ IV. apprenant qu’un fameux Medecin _Protestant_ avoit quitté sa Religion pour se faire Catholique _Romain_, dit au Duc de _Sully_ qui ètoit alors avec lui: _Mon Ami, ta Religion est bien malade, car elle est abandonnée des Medecins._ 29 The same King viewing one Day his Arcenal, a Lord askt him whether one could find any Canons in the World as good as those there: _Cods-fish_, answer’d the King, _I never could find better Canons than those of the Church._ 29 Le même Roy visitant un jour son Arcenal, un Seigneur lui demanda si l’on pouvoit trouver au Monde d’aussi-bons Canons que ceux qu’ils voyoient: _Ventre saint gris_, repondit le Roy, _je n’ai jamais trouvé de meilleurs Canons que ceux de la Messe._ 30 As one considered the losses which the City of _Milan_ had occasioned to _France_, he said, It were to be wished that City had been quite destroy’d: _No, no_, said Chancellour _du Prat_, _the War of_ Milan _is like Physick to_ France, _to cleanse her of abundance of lewd and debauched Men that would be apt to infect her_. 30 Comme on consideroit les pertes que la Ville de _Milan_ causoit à la _France_, on dit qu’il seroit à souhaiter que cette Ville là eût été entierement ruinée: _Non, non_, dit le Chancelier du _Prat_; _la Guerre de_ Milan _sert d’une Purgation à la_ France, _pour la nettoyer d’une infinité d’hommes perdus & debauchez, qui la pourroient infecter_. 31 _Lewis_ the Eleventh, afterwards King of _France_, in fear of his Father _Charles_ the Seventh, retired into _Burgundy_, where he contracted a Familiarity with one _Conon_ a Peasant. Succeeding his Father in the Kingdom, _Conon_ took his Journey to _Paris_, to present the King with some Turneps, which he had observ’d him to eat heartily of, when he sometimes came weary from Hunting; in the way, Hunger constrain’d him to eat them all up, save only one of an unusual bigness. The King delighted with the Simplicity of the Man, commanded him a Thousand Crowns, and the Turnep, wrapt up in a piece of Silk, to be reserved amongst his Treasures. A greedy Courtier had observ’d this, and having already devour’d a greater Sum, bought a very handsom Horse, and made a present of him to the King, who cheerfully accepted the Gift, and gave order that the Turnep should be given him; when unwrapt, and that it was seen what it was, the Courtier complained he was deluded: _No_, said the King, there’s no delusion, _thou hast that which cost me a thousand Crowns for a Horse that is scarce worth a Hundred_. 31 _Louis_ onzieme, qui fut ensuite Roy de _France_, se retira en _Bourgogne_, pour éviter le colere de son Pere _Charles_ VII, & là il contracta familiarité avec un Païsan nomme _Conon_. Aprés qu’il eut succedé au Royaume de son pere, _Conon_ se mit en Chemin pour _Paris_, afin d’y faire present au Roy de quelques Navets, parce qu’il avoit observé que le Roy avoit quelquefois pris grand plaisir à en manger, lors qu’il revenoit fatigué de la chasse. Pendant son voyage la faim l’obligea de manger tous ses Navets, à la reserve d’un seul d’une grosseur extraordinaire. Le Roy prit plaisir à la simplicité de cét Homme, & lui fit donner mille écus; & commanda qu’on conservât ce Navet parmi ses Tresors, aprés l’avoir envelopé dans un morceau de Taffetas. Un Courtisan affamé avoit observé tout ceci, & ayant déja devoré une plus grande somme, il acheta un fort beau Cheval, & en fit present au Roy lequel reçeut ce present avec joye, & lui fit donner le Navet. Aprés que le Courtisan l’eût developé, & qu’il eût veu ce que c’ètoit, il se plaignit de ce qu’il avoit été trompé; _Il n’y a point de tromperie_, dit le Roy, _puis que tu as ce qui m’a couté mille écus, pour un Cheval qui à peine en vaut-il cent_. 32 _Alphonsus_ King of _Spain_, said to those who told him that his Cloaths were so plain that they did not distinguish him from his Subjects: _I had much rather be distinguished from my Subjects by my Honour and Virtue, than by my Crown and Purple_, 32 _Alphonse_ Roy d’_Espagne_ dit à ceux qui lui remontroient que la simplicité de ses Habits le confondoit avec ses sujets: _J’aime bien mieux que ma Gloire & ma Vertu me distinguent de mes sujets, que le Diademe & la Pourpre_. 33 The _Hungarians_, who had conspired against _Sigismundus_, being entred into his Palace with design to either to seize or kill him, the Emperour perceiv’d them and ran to them with a Dagger in his Hand: _Which of you_, said he to them, _will be so insolent as to abuse me? What have I done that deserves Death? If any one designs to strike me, let him come forward, I’ll defend my self._ These bold and resolute Words frighted the Conspirators to that degree, that they run away at that very instant. 33 Les _Hongrois_ qui avoient conspiré la perte de _Sigismond_, ètant entrez en son Palais, ou pour le prendre, ou pour le tuer, l’Empereur les apperçeut, & courut au devant d’eux, un Poignard à la main: _Qui de vous, leur dit-il, sera assez insolent pour me maltraiter? Qu’ai je fait qui merite la Mort? si quelqu’un a dessein de me frapper qu’il avance, je me defendrai._ Ces Paroles fierement prononcées épouvanterent tellement les conjurez; qu’ils prirent aussitôt la fuite. 34 A Modern Sage us’d to say, _That to be an Hypocrite was to go to Hell by the Road of Heaven_. 34 Un Sage Moderne disoit: _Que de faire l’Hypocrite c’étoit aller en Enfer par le chemin de Paradis_. 35 A Pope, before he was raised to the Soveraign Pontificate, out of a feign’d and politick Humility, caused his Table to be spread with a Fishing-net instead of a Table cloth; but assoon as he was advanced to that high Dignity which he courted, he told his Officers who would have served him as before: _Let me be served with Linnen, I have no more occasion for a Net now the Fish is caught_. 35 Un Pape, avant que d’être élevé au souverain Pontificat, faisoit, par une feinte & politique humilité, couvrir sa Table d’un rets de Pescheur au lieu d’une Nappe, mais aussi-tôt qu’il fut parvenu à cette éminente dignité qu’il ambitionnoit, il dit à ses Officiers qui le vouloient servir à l’ordinaire: _Servez moy de linge, je n’ai plus besoin de filet, le Poisson est pris_. 36 A Buffoon told one Day King _Francis_ the First, that he had a Book of Fools, wherein he had writ the Name of the Emperour _Charles_ the V. the King ask’d him the Reason; _because_, said he, _by passing through France, he exposes himself to be stopt_. But what wilt thou say, continued the King, if not only I let him pass, but likewise deliver up to him those Places I have promised him: _Do you know_, said the Buffoon, _What I will do? I’ll blot_ Charles the V’_s_. _name out of my Book, and writ yours instead of his_. 36 Un Bouffon dit un jour au Roy _François_ qu’il avoit un Livre de Fous où il avoit écrit le nom de l’Empereur _Charles Quint_. Le Roy lui en demanda la Raison: _Parce_, dit il, _qu’en passant par la_ France, _il s’expose à être arrêté_, Maïs que diras-tu, continua le Roy, si non seulement je le laisse passer, mais encore, si je lui livre les Places que je lui ai promises: _Sçavez-vous_, repondit le Bouffon, _ce que je ferai? J’ôterai de mon Livre le Nom de_ Charles Quint, _& je mettrai le vôtre en sa Place._ 37 _Alphonsus_ King of _Aragon_ was so liberal, that he some times gave away whole Cities and Dutchies, and took away great part of the Taxes from his People, which gave him the Sir-name of _Bored-hand_, and as one told him that his Donatives were excessive, he said, _The chief care of a King ought to be to enrich his Subjects, and let these be never so rich, the Prince is never the poorer_. 37 _Alphonse_ Roy d’_Aragon_ étoit si liberal, qu’il donnoit quelquefois les Villes, & les Duchez, & remit à son Peuple une grande partie des Impôts, c’est ce qui le fit appeller _Main-percée_; & comme on lui temoignoit que ses Largesses étoient excessives, il disoit: _Le principal Soin d’un Roy, doit être d’enrichir ses Sujects, car quelques riches qu’ils soient, le Prince n’en devient pas plus pauvre_. 38 The same King used to say: _To live quiet in Marriage, the Husband ought to be Deaf, that he mayn’t hear his Wifes Brawling and Impertinence: and the Wife Blind, that she may not see her Husbands Debauchery._ 38 Ce même Roy disoit ordinairement: _Pour vivre dans le Mariage, il faut que le Mari soit Sourd, afin qu’il n’entende pas les Impertinences et les Criailleries de sa Femme; et que la Femme soit Aveugle pour ne voir point toutes les Debauches de son Mari._ 39 King _Alphonsus_ being Sick, and having try’d several Remedies to no purpose, He left them all, and betook himself to the reading of _Quintus Curtius_’s History: He was so much delighted with it, that by degrees his Disease abated, and at last being fully recover’d, he said, _Farewel_ Hypocrates, _farewel_ Avicenna, _and all Physick_; _long live_ Quintus Curtius _my true Physician_. 39 Le Roy _Alphonse_ étant malade aprés avoir tenté en vain plusieurs Remedes, il les abandonna entierement, & se mit à lire l’Histoire de _Quinte-Curse_. Le plaisir qu’il y prit soulagea peu à peu son mal, & enfin se voyant gueri, il dit: _Adieu_ Hyppocrate, _Adieu_ Avicenne, _& toute la Medecine_: _Vive_ Quinte-Curse, _mon veritable Medecin_. 40 King _Henry_ the IV_th._ having a Book of some Regulations for the State, shewn him by his Taylor, and compos’d by him, said to one of his Officers: _Let my Chancellour come to me this minute to make me a Sute of Cloaths, since my Taylor will pretend to make Regulations_. 40 Le Roy _Henry_ IV. voyant son Tailleur qui lui montroit un Livre de quelques Reglements pour l’Etat, qu’il avoit composé, dit à un de ses Officiers: _Qu’on me fasse venir sur l’heure mon Chancelier pour me faire un Habit, puis que mon Tailleur veut faire des Reglements_. 41 _Alphonsus_ King of _Spain_, hearing that those of _Sienna_, who during the War of _Italy_ remain’d Neuter, had been Plunder’d by the Soldiers of both Parties, as soon as the War was ended, said, _That they were like those who live in the middle Stories of a House, that are incommoded by the Smoke of those beneath, and by the Noise of those above them_. 41 _Alphonse_, Roy d’_Espagne_, apprenant que les _Siennois_, qui pendant la Guerre d’_Italie_, etoient demeurez Neutres, avoient été pillez par les Soldats des deux Partis, aussi tôt que la Guerre eût été finie, dit: _Qu’ils étoient semblables à ceux qui étant logez dans les étages moyens d une Maison, sont incommodez par la Fumée de ceux qui sont au dessous, et par le Bruit de ceux qui demeurent au dessus_. 42 A Lord, who during the troubles of the League, had a long time been a Trimmer, came one Day to the Court of King _Henry_ the IV_th._ whom he found playing at Primero; assoon as the King saw him he told him: _Come Sir, you are welcome; if we Win, no doubt but you’ll be on our Side_. 42 Un Seigneur, qui durant les troubles de la Ligue, avoit long tems balancé sans suivre aucun Parti, vint un Jour à la Cour d’_Henri_ IV. qu’il trouva joüant à la Prime; aussi-tôt que le Roy l’eût apperceu, il lui dit, _Approchez, Monsieur, soyez le bien venu; si nous gagnons, sans doute vous serez des nôtres_. 43 A Man of War crying up before _Sigismundus_ Military Employments, and vilifying Magistracy: _Hold your Tongue_, said the Emperor to him, _and learn that if all Magistrates perform’d their Duty, we should have no occasion for Military Officers_. 43 Un Homme de Guerre élevant en presence de _Sigismond_, les Dignitez Militaires, et méprisant les Magistratures: _Taisez vous_, lui dit l’Empereur, _et apprenez que si tous les Magistrats faisoient bien leur Devoir, nous n’aurions pas besoin d’Officiers de Guerre_. 44 _Adolphus_ Count of _Nassau_, being newly rais’d to the Empire of _Germany_, sent a very abusive Writing to _Philip_ King of _France_, with many ridiculous Threats. The King, who was Master of more Temper, contented himself to give the Courrier a whole Sheet of Paper, wherein he had writ in Capitals only these Words for an Answer, _TOO MUCH A GERMAN_. 44 _Adolphe_ Comte de _Nassau_, nouvellement élevé à l’Empire d’_Allemagne_, envoya à _Philippe_ Roy de _France_, un écrit injurieux, et lui fit faire des Ménaces fort ridicules, Le Roy, qui étoit plus moderé, se contenta de charger le Courrier d’une Feuille de Papier, où pour toute Réponse il n’avoit écrit en gros Caracteres que ces seuls Mots, _TROP ALLEMAND_. 45 _Charles_ the V_th._ said: _To make up a good Body of Soldiers, I would have the_ Italians _to be the Head, the_ Spaniards _the Arms_, the Germans _the Breast, because of their Faithfullness and Strength; and the other Nations the Belly and Feet_. 45 _Charles_ V. disoit: _Pour bien dresser un Corps d’Armée, je voudrois que les_ Italiens _en fussent la Tête, les_ Espagnols _les Bras_, _les_ Allemans _la Poitrine, à cause de leur Fidelité et de leur Force_; _et que les autres Nations en composassent le Ventre et les Pieds_. 46 Certain Soldiers, who were near the Coach of _Catherine of Medicis_, said a thousand abusive Things of her; and as the Cardinal of _Lorrain_ told her that he was going to see them hang’d: _No, no_, answer’d she, _let them go_: _I will this Day shew to After-ages, that in the same Person a Woman a Queen, and an_ Italian, _have known how to command their Passion_. 46 Quelques Soldats qui étoient prés du Carrosse de _Catherine de Medicis_, dirent cent Insolences d’elle: Et comme le Cardinal de _Lorraine_ l’eût avertie qu’il les alloit faire pendre: _Non, non_, lui repondit-elle, _laissez les aller; je veux apprendre aujourd’huy à la Posterité, qu’en une même Personne, une Femme, une Reine, et une_ Italienne, _ont sçeu commander à leur Colere_. 47 King _John_ being taken in a Battle which he fought before _Poitiers_ against the _English_, was conducted to their Camp, where the Prince of _Wales_ waited upon him bare-headed at Supper. The King desir’d him several times to sit by him, but the Prince excus’d himself with these Words: _It does not become a Subject to sit by his Lord_, Afterwards the King told him: _I design’d to have treated you to Day at Supper, but Fortune has been willing that you should treat me_. 47 Le Roy _Jean_ ayant été pris en une Bataille qu’il donna devant _Poitiers_ contre les _Anglois_, fut conduit dans leur Camp, où le Prince de _Galles_ le servit tête nuë à souper: Le Roy le pria plusieurs fois de s’asseoir auprés de lui, mais le Prince s’en excusa par ces Paroles: _Il n’appartient pas au Sujet de s’asseoir auprés de son Seigneur_; ensuite le Roy lui dit: _J’avois dessein de vous donner aujourd’huy à souper, mais la Fortune a voulu que vous me l’ayez donné_. 48 A Painter having promised the finest of all his Pictures, to one who had no skill in them, this Man came and told him cunningly, that his House was on Fire: The Painter cry’d presently to his Prentice, _Be sure you save such a Picture_: By that means he found that this must be the best, and he asked it of him assoon as his Trouble was over, and that he was satisfied that it was but a false Alarm 48 Un Peintre ayant promis le plus beau de tous ses Tableaux à une Personne qui ne s’y connoissoit pas, elle lui vint dire adroitement que le Feu étoit en son Logis: le Peintre s’écria d’abord à son Eleve, _qu’on me sauve un tel Tableau_. Elle reconnut par là que, c’étoit le meilleur, et le lui demanda aprés que son émotion fut appaisée, et qu’il eût appris que cette allarme étoit fausse. 49 Certain Peasants complaining to a Captain, that his Soldiers had Robb’d them, he asked them whether they had left them any thing? they answered Yes, _Well_, said the Captain, _then they are none of my Soldiers, for they would certainly have taken all away_. 49 Quelques Païsans se plaignant à un Capitaine que ses Soldats les avoient volez, il leur demanda s’ils leur avoient laissé quelque chose? ils lui repondirent que ouï: _Hé bien_, leur dit le Capitaine, _ce ne sont donc pas mes Soldats, ils auroient assurément tout emporté._ 50 King _Alphonsus_ answered certain Persons, who pressed him to give Battle when he must have run a great Danger: _’Tis the Duty of a General, not only to Fight, but also to Conquer_. 50 Le Roy _Alphonse_ repondit à quelques Personnes qui le pressoient de donner Bataille dans une Conjoncture dangereuse. _Le Devoir d’un Général, c’est de Vaincre, non pas de Combattre seulement._ 51 _Dragut_, a _Turkish_ Pirate, caused _Ibrahim_ to be put to Death, just after he had delivered up to him the Town _Aphrodisium_, which the _Moors_ call _Mahudia_; and because he had promised him his Life: and great Rewards, he said for his Justification: _That no body is obliged to keep his Word, with one who had been Traytor to his own Country_. 51 _Dragut_, Corsaire _Turc_, fit tuer _Ibrahim_, qui venoit de lui livrer la Ville d’_Aphrodisium_, que les _Maures_ nomment _Mahudia_; et comme il lui avoit promis la Vie avec de grandes Recompences, il dit pour se justifier: _Que personne n’étoit obligé de tenir sa Parole à celui quî avoit été Traitre à sa Patriie_. 52 _Alphonsus_ King of _Aragon_, drunk so little Wine, that his Friends wondring at it, he said: Alexanders _excessive Love of Wine, was a great Blemish to his Glory, for it obscures Reason and Vertue_: He said likewise: _Wine has two very ill Daughters, Fury, and brutish Love_. 52 _Alphonse_ Roy d’_Aragon_, beuvoit si peu de Vin, que ses Amis s’en étonant, il leur dit: _L’Amour qu’_Alexandre _eut pour le Vin ternit beaucoup l’éclat de sa Gloire, il fait ombre & obscurit la Raison et la Vertu_, il disoit encore, _Le Vin a deux fort méchantes Filles, la Fureur et l’Amour brutal_. 53 King _Lewis_ XI. hearing that _Nicolas Raulin_, Chancellour to the Duke of _Burgundy_, had founded a rich Hospital at _Beaune_, said: _It is but reason that the Chancellor of_ Burgundy, _who in his Life-time has made so many Beggars, should in his latter Days build an Hospital for them_. 53 Le Roy _Loüis_ XI. entendant dire que _Nicolas Raulin_, Chancelier du Duc de _Bourgogne_, avoit fondé un riche Hôpital à _Beaune_, dit: _Il est bien raisonnable que le Chancelier de_ Bourgogne, _qui de son tems a fait tant de Pauvres, bâtisse à la fin de ces Jours un Hôpital pour les loger._ 54 _Charles_ Duke of _Calabria_, having Condemned a Gentleman to pay a Hundred _Florins_ of Gold to a Maid whom he had abused, commanded him to follow the Maid, who had the Money about her, and make as if he would take it away from her. The Maid knew well enough how to keep it, and being come back, complained of his Violence to the Duke, who told him: _Had you been as careful of keeping your Honour, as defending your Money, you would not have lost that, Go Sweetheart, do so no more._ 54 _Charles_ Duc de _Calabre_, ayant Condamné un Gentilhomme à donner cent _Florins_ d’Or à une Fille qu’il avoit abusée, il lui commanda de suivre la Fille chargée de cette Somme, et de feindre de la lui vouloir óter. Elle seut bien la garder, & revint se plaindre de ses Violences au Duc, qui lui dit: _Si vous eussiez eu autant de soin pour conserver vôtre Honneur que pour defendre vôtre Argent, vous ne l’eussiez pas perdu; allez M’amie, n’y retournez plus._ 55 An Astrologer advised a Prince to settle his Affairs, because within three Days he was to die a violent Death; the Prince ask’d him, whether he had foreseen what kind of Death he himself should die? and he assuring him that he was to die of a Feaver he told him, that to let him see the vanity of his Science he should be hang’d that very Hour. Now as the Astrologer was seized to be led to the Place of Execution, he said to the Prince: _Pray see, my Lord, whether my Prediction be not true: Feel my Pulse, and you’ll be sensible that I have got a Feaver._ Which subtle Answer saved his Life. 55 Un Astrologue avertit un Prince de mettre ordre à ses Affaires, parce qu’il devoit mourir dans trois Jours d’une Mort violente; le Prince lui demanda s’il avoit preveu de quelle Mort lui même devoit mourir? & sur ce qu’il affura qu’il mourroit d’une Fievre chaude, il lui dit, que pour faire connoitre la Vanité de sa Science, il seroit pendu sur l’heure même. Comme on s’étoit déjà saisi de l’Astrologue pour le conduire au Supplice, il dit au Prince, _Voyez, Monseigneur, si ma Prediction n’est pas veritable, tâtez moi le Poux, & vous sentirez, si je n’ai pas la Fievre._ Cette subtilité lui sauva la Vie. 56 The Duke of _Guise_, after a Battle fought betwixt _Francis_ I_st._ and _Charles_ V_th._ reproached one _Villandri_, that tho’ he was in compleat Armour yet he had not been seen in the Fight: I’ll make it out, answer’d boldly _Villandri_, that I was there, and in that very Place where you durst not be seen: The Duke nettled by this Reproach, threatned to punish him severely for it, but he appeas’d him with these Words: _I was my Lord, with the Baggage, where your Courage would not have suffered you to sculk._ 56 Le Duc de _Guise_, aprés une Battaile du Roy _François_ I. contre _Charles Quint_, reprochoir au Sieur _Villandri_, que bien qu’il fut armé de toutes pieces, on ne l’avoit point veu dans le Combat; je vous prouverai, lui repondit fierement _Villandri_, que je m’y suis trouvé, & même en un endroit où vous n’eussiez ôsé paroitre. Le Duc piqué de ce reproche, le menaçoit de quelque chatiment rigoureux, mais il l’appaisa par cette Parole: _J’étois, Seigneur, avec le Bagage, où vôtre Courage ne vous eût pas permis de vous cacher._ 57 _Lewis_ XII. King of _France_, said: _Most Gentlemen have the same Fate with_ Acteon _and_ Diomedes; _they are devoured by their Dogs and Horses_; intimating that Hunting, and the being curious of fine Horses ruined abundance off People of Quality. 57 Le Roy de _France_, _Loüis_ XII. disoit: _La plûpart des Gentilhommes ont le même sort qu’_Acteon _&_ Diomede; _ils sont devorez par leurs Chieni et par leurs Chevaux_. Voulant dire que la Chasse, et le soin d’avoir de beaux Chveaux ruïnoit beaucoup de Gens de Qualité. 58 One that walked before King _Alphonsus_, having given a thrust to a Branch of a Tree, it flew back, and struck the Kings Eye black and blue, and made it swell. As every one exprest how much they were sensible of his Pain: _I have no Pain_ said he, _that more sensibly affects me, than the Sorrow and Fear of him that hurt me_. 58 Une Personne qui marchoit devant le Roy _Alphonse_ ayant poussé une Branche d’Arbre, elle fit ressort, et frappa l’oeil du Roy, qui en fut meurtri, et en devint fort enflé. Comme chacun lui temoignoit avoir part à sa douleur: _Je n’ai point de Mal_, dit-il, _qui me touche plus sensiblement, que la douleur et la crainte de celui qui ma blessé_. 59 A Man who had married an ugly Woman, upon account of her great Fortune, having one Day surpriz’d her with a Spark, he told her, _Since thou hast one that Kisses thee for nothing, What needest thou get a Husband at the Expence of thy Fortune_. 59 Un Homme qui avoit épousé une laide Femme, en consideration de son grand Bien, l’ayant un jour surprise avec un Galand, il lui dit, _Puis qu’on te baise gratis, qu’étoit il besoin de chercher un Mari aux depens de ton Bien?_ 60 A Plough-man seeing the Archbishop of _Cologn_ go by attended with a great many Soldiers, could not forbear laughing: The Archbishop prest him to tell him the reason: ’Tis because I wonder, said the Plough-man, to see an Arch-bishop arm’d, and follow’d not by Church-men, but Soldiers, like a General of an Army. Friend, answer’d the Archbishop, know that I am a Duke as well as an Archbishop; In my Church I perform the Office of an Archbishop with my Clergy, but in the Field I march like a Duke, accompanied with my Soldiers: _I understand you my Lord_, reply’d the Peasant, _But pray, tell me, when my Lord Duke goes to the Devil, what will then become of my Lord Archbishop?_ 60 Un Laboureur voyant passer l’Archevêque de _Cologne_ accompagné de plusieurs Soldats, ne pût s’empêcher de rire: L’Archevêque le pressa de lui en dire le sujet; C’est, dit le Laboureur, que je suis ètonnè de voir un Archevêque armé, et suivi, non pas d’Ecclesiastiques, mais de Gens de Guerre, comme un Général d’Armèe. Mon ami, lui rèpondit l’Archevêque, apprenez que je suis Duc aussi bien qu’Archevêque. Dans mon Eglise je fais la fonction d’Archevêque avec mon Clergé, mais dans la Campagne je marche en Duc accompagné de mes Soldats. _J’entens bien, Mon Seigneur_, lui repliqua le Païsan, _mais dites moy, je vous prie, quand Monsieur le Duc ira à tous les Diables, que deviendra Monsieur l’Archévêque_. 61 The Duke of _Milan_ being Besieg’d, and hard put to it in a Castle by the _Florentines_, could find no manner of Meat that pleas’d his Palate when he was at Table, and as he often quarrell’d with his Cook about it, this cunning Servant after many other Excuses, told him at last: _My Lord, will you give me leave to be plain with you? The Meat is good and well drest, but, Faith, the_ Florentines _have taken away your Stomach-_ 61 Le Duc de _Milan_ assiegé dans un Chateau par les _Florentins_, qui le pressoient fort, ne trouvoit aucune Viande à son goût lors qu’il étoit à Table; et comme il en querelloit souvent son Cuisinier, ce domestique adroit, aprés plusieurs autres Excuses, lui dit enfin: _Voulez vous, Monseigneur, que je vous parle nettement? les Viandes sont bonnes, & bien preparées mais franchement les_ Florentins _vous degoutent_. 62 The Life of Pope _Bonifacius_ VIII_th._ was so irregular that it was said of him: _That he came to the Soveraign Pontificate like a Fox, liv’d like a Lion, and died like a Dog_. 62 La Vie du Pape _Boniface_ VIII. fût si peu reglée, qu’on a dit de lui: _Qu’il entra au Souverain Pontificat, comme un Renard, qu’il vécut comme un Lion, & qu’il mourut comme un Chien_. 63 King _Henry_ the IV_th._ being importun’d by a man of Quality, who begg’d a Pardon for a Nephew of his guilty of Murder, answer’d him: _I am sorry I cannot grant your Request; it becomes you to act the Part of an Uncle, and me that of a King: I excuse your Demand, excuse my Denial_. 63 Le Roy _Henry_ IV. importuné par un homme de Qualité, qui lui demandoit une Grace pour son Neveu, coupable d’un assassinat, lui répondit: _Je suis bien fâché de ne pouvoir vous accorder ce que vous me demandez, il vous sied bien de faire l’Oncle, & à moy de faire le Roy: J’excuse vôtre demande, excusez mon refus_. 64 An Impertinent Poet, having begun to read to one a Poem of his own making, asked him, _Which of those Verses were the best?_ _Those_, answered he, _thou hast not yet read, for they have not made my Head ake_. 64 Un Poëte importun, aprés avoir commencé de lire à quelqu’un un Poëme qu’il avoit fait, demanda à celui qui l’écoutoit lesquels de ces Vers étoient les meilleurs? _Ce sont ceux_, repondit-il, _que tu n’as pas encore lus, car ils ne m’ont pas fait mal à la tête_. 65 A man of Note, coming from a great Dinner, and his Head full of the sweet vapours of Wine, signed an Order that was brought to him, which had starved a whole Province, had not the thing been prevented. _He is to be excus’d_, said a Jester upon it, _for how can a man imagine in the first hour of Digestion, that People can starve any where_. 65 Un homme de Marque, au sortir d’un long diner, et dans les douces fumées du Vin, signa un Ordre qu’on lui presenta, qui eût ôté le Pain à toute une Province, si l’on n’y eut remédié. _Il est excusable_, dit un Railleur là dessus, _le moyen de comprendre dans la premiere heure de la Digestion, qu’on puisse quelque part mourir de faim?_ 66 When the _Doge_ of _Genoa_ was at _Versailles_ (where he was come to make Submissions to the King in the name of his Common-wealth,) and was viewing all the Beauties of the Place, a Courtier ask’d him what he found there most extraordinary; _To see my self here_, answer’d he. 66 Lorsque le _Doge_ de _Genes_ étoit à _Versailles_, (où il étoit venu faire des Soumissions au Roy de la Part de sa Republique) et qu’il en visitoit toutes les Beautés, un Courtisan lui demanda ce qu’il y trouvoit de plus extraordinaire: _C’est de m’y voir_, lui répondit le _Doge_. 67 _Odo_, Bishop of _Bayeux_ in _Normandy_, and Brother to _William_ the _Conqueror_, by his Mothers side, was created Earl of _Kent_ by the Conqueror. Some time after the Bishop hapned to fall into Disgrace, so that he was cast into Prison. The Clergy in those times were free from the Secular Power, and the Pope espousing the Bishop’s Quarrel, writ a sharp Letter to the King about it. The King gave no other answer, but _That he had imprisoned the Earl of_ Kent, _and not the Bishop of_ Bayeux. 67 _Eude_ Evêque de _Bayeux_ en _Normandie_, & frere de _Guillame_ le _Conquerant_, du côté de sa Mere, fut creé Comte de _Kent_ par le Conquerant. Il arriva ensuite que cét Evêque tomba en Disgrace, si bien qu’il fut mis en Prison. Le Clergé dans ce tems-la ètoit exempt du bras Seculier, & le Pape épousant la Querelle de l’Evêque, écrivit aigrement au Roy _Guillaume_ là dessus. Le Roy ne lui fit d’autre réponse, sinon _qu’il avoit mis en Prison le Comte de_ Kent, _& non l’Evêque de_ Bayeux. 68 A _Venetian_ Ambassador at _Rome_, went through _Florence_, and waited on the late Duke of _Tuscany_. This Prince complained to the Ambassador, that the Republick had sent him a _Venetian_, whose Conduct during the time of his Residence at his Court he was not satisfied with. _Your Highness_, said the Ambassadour, _ought not to wonder at it, for I can assure you, that we have abundance of Fools at_ Venice: _So have we at_ Florence, answer’d the great Duke, _but we don’t send them abroad to treat of publick Affairs_. 68 Un Ambassadeur de _Venise_ à _Rome_ passa à _Florence_, où il salua le feu grand Duc de _Toscane_. Ce Prince se plaignit à cét Ambassadeur de ce que sa Republique lui avoit envoyé un _Venitien_ qui s’etoit fort mal conduit durant le sejour qu’il avoit fait auprés de lui. _Il ne faut pas_, dit l’Ambassadeur, _que vôtre Altesse s’en étonne, car je la puis assurer que nous avons beaucoup de Foux à_ Venise. _Nous avons aussi nos Foux à_ Florence, lui repondit le grand Duc, _mais nous ne les envoyons pas dehors pour traiter des Affaires publiques_. 69 A Prince jeer’d one of his Courtiers, who had serv’d him in several Embassies, and told, him, _he look’d like an Ox_: _I know not who I am like_, answer’d the Courtier, _but this I know, that I have had the honour to represent you upon several Occasions._ 69 Un Prince railloit un de ses Courtisans, qui l’avoit servi dans plusieurs Ambassades, & lui disoit, _qu’il ressembloit à un Boeuf_: _Je ne sai à qui je ressemble_, lui repondit le Courtisan; _mais je sai que j’ai eu l’honneur de vous representer en plusieurs Occasions._ 70 A Courtier taking his leave of the King, who sent him upon an Embassy to another Prince: _The chief Instruction I have to give you_, said the King to him, _is that your Conduct be entirely opposite to that of your Predecessor_: _Sir_, reply’d the Ambassador, _I will so behave my self that your Majesty will have no occasion to give the like Instruction to him who shall succeed me_, 70 Un Homme de la Cour prenant congé du Roy, qui l’envoyoit en Ambassade vers un autre Prince: _La principale Instruction que j’ai à vous donner_, lui dit le Roy, _est que vous observiez une conduite toute opposée à celle de vôtre Predecesseur._ _Sire_, lui repartit l’Ambassadeur, _je vai faire en sorte que vôtre Majesté ne donne pas une pareille Instruction à celui que me succedera._ 71 A Domestick of King _Henry_ the _Great_, and a Confident of his Amours, obtain’d a Grant of him, and went to the Chancellour to make it pass the Seals. The Chancellour finding some difficulty in it, the Courtier press’d him and offer’d to prove, that there could be no difficulty in the Case. _Every one_, said the Chancellour, _must meddle with his own Trade._ _My Trade_, reply’d the Courtier, who thought himself reflected upon about the confidence of his Masters Amours, _is so good an Employment, that, were the King but twenty Years younger, I would not change it for Four such as yours_. 71 Un Domestique du Roy _Henry_ le _Grand_, qui étoit confident du ses Amours, en obtint quelque grace, & alla voir le Chancelier pour en avoir l’expedition. Le Chancelier y trouvant de la difficulté, le Courtisan le pressoit, & vouloit lui prouver qu’il n’y en devoit pas avoir: _il faut_, lui dit le Chancelier, _que chacun se mêle de son mètier_. _Mon Metier_, lui repondit le Courtisan, qui crut qu’il lui reprochoit la Confidence de Son Maîtres, _est un si bon Employ, que si le Roy avoit vingt ans de moins, jè nê le changerois pas pour quatre comme le vôtre_. 72 A Man whose Head was full of a Stage-Play of his own making, was explaining the Plot and Design of it to a Courtier: _The Scene_, said he to him, _is in_ Cappadocia, _and to judge rightly of the Play, a man must transport himself into the Country, and get acquainted with the Genius of the People._ _You say right_, answer’d the Courtier, _and I think it were best to have it acted there_. 72 Un Homme entêté d’une piece de Théatre de sa facon, en expliquoit l’intrigue & le Dessein à un Courtisan: _La scene_, lui disoit-il, _est en_ Cappadoce; _il faut se transporter dans ce Pais là, & entrer dans le genie de la Nation, pour bien juger do la Piece_: _Vous avez raison_, répondit le Courtisan, _& je croi qu’elle seroit bonne à jouer sur les lieux_. 73 Monsieur de _Vaugelas_, having obtain’d a Pension of the King by the means of Cardinal _Richelieu_, this Cardinal told him: _Sir, I hope you won’t leave out the word_ Pension _in your Dictionary_: _No my Lord_, answer’d _Vaugelas_, _nor the word_ Gratitude. 73 Monsieur _de Vaugelas_ ayant obtenu une Pension du Roy par l’entremisé du Cardinal de _Richelieu_, ce Cardinal lui dit; _Au moins, Monsieur, vous n’oublierez pas dans vôtre Dictionnaire le mot de_ Pension. _Non, Monseigneur_, lui repondit _Vaugelas_, _ni celui de Reconnoissance_. 74 _Benserade_ being come to the Academy, took the Place of the Abbot _Furetiere_, whom he had no kindness for, and as he sat in it, he said, _Here’s a Place where I am like to say many a foolish Thing_; _Very well_, answer’d _Furetiere_, _you have made a very good Beginning._ 74 _Benserade_ étant à l’Academie y prit la Place de l’Abbé _Furetiere_, qu’il n’aimoit pas, & dit en s’y mettant; _Voici une Place où je dirai bien des sotises_: _Courage_, lui repondit _Furetiere_, _vous avez fort bien commencé_. 75 The Marquis _du Chatelet_, another _Academician_, being got out of the _Bastille_, where he had been imprison’d upon a Slight occasion, appear’d before the late King of _France_. The King who cared not to see a Man he had not well us’d, made it his business to turn off his Eyes from him. The Marquis perceiving it, drew near the Duke of S. _Simon_, and told him: _My Lord, I beg of you to tell the King that I forgive him, and wish he would do me the honour to look upon me._ Which had the effect he desir’d; For the Duke having told the King of it, his Majesty fell a laughing, and afterwards spoke to him very graciously. 75 Le Marquis du _Chatelet_, autre Academicien, ètant sorti de la Bastille, où il avoit été mis pour un sujet assez leger, se presenta devant le feu Roy de _France_. Le Roy, qui avoit de la peine à voir un homme qu’il n’avoit pas bien traité, s’appliquoit à detourner les yeux de dessus lui. Le Marquis s’en appercevant, s’approcha du Duc de S. _Simon_, & lui dit: _je vous prie, Monsieur, de dire au Roy que je lui pardonne, & qu’il me fasse l’honneur de me regarder._ Ce qui fit l’effet qu’il desiroit; car le Duc l’ayant dit au-Roy, il en rit, & lui parla ensuite fort obligeamment. 76 _Lewis_ XII. King of _France_, while he was Duke of _Orleans_, had several times been disoblig’d by two Persons in Favour in the foregoing Reign. One of his Confidents would persuade him to shew them his Resentment: No, answer’d the King, _’tis below the King of_ France, _to revenge injuries done to the Duke of_ Orleans. 76 _Louis_ XII. Roy de _France_, ètant Duc D’_Orleans_, avoit receu plusieurs deplaisirs de deux Personnes qui ètoient en faveur dans le regne precedent. Un de ses Confidents l’excitoit à lui en temoigner son ressentiment: _Il est indigne du Roy de_ France, répondit il, _de venger les injures faites au Duc_ d’Orleans. 77 _John_ II. Duke of _Bourbon_ being a Hostage in _England_ for King _John_, several Gentlemen, Vassals to the Duke, caballed against him in his Absence, and encroached upon his Rights. One of his Officers kept an exact account of all, and upon the Duke’s return, presented him with a great Volume of it, that he might cause justice to be done. The Duke ask’d him, whether he had kept likewise a Register of all the good Services they had formerly done him, to which the Officer answering, _No_: _Then_, reply’d the Duke, _’tis, not fit for me to make any use of this_, and so threw it into the Fire, without giving it the reading. 77 _Jean_ II. Duc de _Bourbon_ ètant en Otage en _Angleterre_ pour le Roy _Jean_, plusieurs Gentilhommes, Vassaux de ce Duc, cabalerent contre lui durant son absence, & empieterent sur ses Droits. Un de ses Officiers en fit des Memoires exacts, et en presenta un gros Recueîl au Duc à son retour, afin qu’il en fit faire justice. Le Duc lui demanda, s’il avoit aussi tenu Regitre de tous les bons Services qu’ils lui avoient rendus auparavant, & l’Officier lui répondant que non: _il n’est donc pas juste, repliqua le Duc, que je fasse aucun usage de celui ci_, & le jetta dans le feu sans le lire. 78 The late Duke of _Guise_’s Steward was telling him the necessity he lay under of regulating his domestick Affairs, and gave him a List of several Persons, that were of no use in his house. The Prince having examin’d it, _’Tis true_, says he, _I might make shift without them all; but did you ask them whether they could make shift without me_? 78 L’Intendant Du feu Duc de _Guise_ lui representoit la nêcessité qu’il y avoit de mettre ordre à ses affaires domestiques, & lui donna une liste de plusieurs personnes inutiles dans sa Maison. Le Prince l’ayant examinée, _il est vray_, lui dit il, _que je pourrois bien me passer de tous ces Gens là: Mais leur avez vous demandé, s’ils pourront aussi se passer de moy_. 79 A wanton Gentlewoman reproach’d her Brother with his strong Passion for Gaming, which was the ruin of him: _When will you leave off Gaming_? Says she to him: _when you’ll cease to Love_, answers the Brother. _Oh! Unhappy Man_, replied the Sister, _then you are like to game all your Life-time_. 79 Une demoiselle galante reprochoit à son Frere sa passion pour le jeu qui le ruinoit: _Quand cesserez vous de joüer_, lui dit elle: _Quand vous cesserez d’aimer_, repondit le _Frere_. _Ah! Malheureux_, repliqua la soeur, _Vous joüerez donc toute vôtre vie_. 80 A Man of Quality, travelling in _Spain_, went to see the _Escurial_, and as he view’d the Rich and Magnificent Convent of the Monks of the order of St. _Jerom_, call’d the Cloister of St. _Laurence_, the Superiour, who Conducted him, told him the Particulars of its foundation, and how King _Philip_ II. had caus’d it to be built to perform the Vow he made on that Day the Battle of St. _Quentin_ was fought, which was on St. _Laurence_’s Day, in case he should come off Victorious; whereupon the Traveller, admiring the Magnificence of that Building, said: _Father, that King must needs he be in great Fear, when he made so great a Vow_. 80 Un homme de Qualité, voyageant en _Espagne_, alla voir l’_Escurial_, & comme il visitoit ce riche & magnifique Convent de Religieux de l’ordre de S. _Jerome_, qu’on nomme le cloitre de S. _Laurent_, le Superieur qui le conduisoit lui raconta les particularitez de sa fondation; il lui dit comme le Roy _Philippe_ II. l’avoit fait batir pour satisfaire au voeu qu’il en fit le jour de la bataille de S. _Quentin_, qui fut donnée le jour de S. _Laurent_, en cas qu’il en sortit victorieux: là dessus le Voyageur lui dit en admirant la Magnificence de ce Batiment: _Mon Pere, il faloit que ce Roy eut grand peur, lors qu’il fit un si grand voeu_. 81 All the Teeth of a certain talkative Lady being loose, she ask’d a Physician the cause of it, who Answered, _It proceeded from the violent shakings she gave them, with her Tongue_. 81 Toutes les dents d’une Demoiselle, qui parloit beau coup, étant pretes à tomber, elle en demanda la cause à un Medecin, qui lui repondit, _que c’ètoit à cause des secousses, qu’elle leur donnoit avec sa langue_. 82 A bad Painter who could not put off his Pictures, went into another Country and turn’d Physician; one who went that way knew him again, and ask’d him for what reason he went in the habit of a Physician; _I have a mind_, said he, _to profess an art, wherein all mistakes are cover’d by the earth_. 82 Un méchant Peintre, qui ne pouvoit vendre ses ouvrages, s’en alla dans un autre païs & s’y fit Medecin; Quelqu’ un qui passoit par là le reconnut & lui demanda pour quelle raison il alloit vêtu en Medecin? Il répondit, _J’ai voulu professer un Art, où toutes les fautes que l’on y fait, sont couvertes par la Terre_. 83 Certain Young Ladys walking in the fields met in their way, a Shepherd, who carried a Lamb to the Market, one among them coming near, stroak’d it, and said to her Companions, _Look how pretty he is, he has yet no Horns_; the Shepherd hearing that, reply’d, _’tis because he is not yet married_. 83 Certaines Demoiselles, se promenant à la campagne, rencontrerent par le chemin un Berger qui portoit un chevreau au marché; une d’entre elles s’en étant approchée, le caressa & dit à ses compagnes, _Regardez comme il est joly, il n’a point encore de cornes_; le Berger entendant cela, leur repondit, _c’est qu’il n’est pas encore marié_. 84 The Kings Court being at a certain Town, two Gentlemen walking together met a Clown beating his Ass unmercifully; they said to him harkee friend, have you no conscience to abuse that poor beast at this rate? the Man pulling off his Hat, presently reply’d, _Cry Mercy good Mr. Ass, I did not think you had relations at Court_. 84 La Cour du Roy étant en une certaine ville, deux gentilshommmes se promenant ensemble rencontrerent un Païsan qui battoit son Ane avec éxcez, ils lui dirent aussi tôt, he, mon amy, n’avez vous point de conscience de maltraiter ainsi cette pauvre Bête? Cét homme ayant ôté son chapeau dit aussi tôt, _Pardon, monsieur l’Ane, je ne croyois pas que vous eussies des parens à la Cour_. 85 A Citizen said to a Courtier, that he had eased himself of a heavy Burden, by paying a Sum of Money he ow’d; and that he could not apprehend how one could Sleep that was deeply indebted. _And I_, answer’d the Courtier, who was in Debt over Head and Ears, _do very easily apprehend it; but I cannot imagine how my Creditors can Sleep, when they think I shall never pay them_. 85 Un homme de la Ville dit à un Courtisan, qu’il venoit de se decharger d’un pesant fardeau en payant une Somme qu’il devoit, & qu’il ne comprenoit pas comment on pouvoit dormir, quand on ètoit chargé de dettes: _Pour moy_, repondit le Courtisan, qui ètoit fort endetté, _Je le comprens facilement; mais je ne comprens pas comment mes Creanciers peuvent dormir, sachant bien que je ne les payerai jamais_. 86 The Baron _des Adrets_, one of the Generals of the _Huguenots_, took during the Wars a Castle belonging to the Catholicks, and condemn’d all the Soldiers that had defended it, to leap out at a Window of that Castle; one of them advanc’d twice to the brink of the Precipice, and still he shrunk back; whereupon the Baron told him, Come, take your Leap without any more ado, for I’ll make you suffer greater Torments if you go back a third time. _Sir_, answer’d the Soldier, _since you take the thing to be so easy, I lay you don’t do it in four times_. Which so pleas’d the Baron, that as cruel as he was, he pardoned the Soldier upon accout of this Repartee. 86 Le Baron des _Adrets_, l’un des chefs du Parti _Huguenot_, prit durant la Guerre un Chateau du Parti des Catholiques, & condamna les Soldats qui l’avoient defendu à sauter du haut en bas d’une Tour de ce Chateau; Un du ces Soldats s’avança par deux fois au bord du Precipice, & s’en recula par deux fois; le Baron lui dit, Saute donc sans tant marchander, car je vais te faire souffrir bien d’autres tourmens si tu recules pour la troisiéme fois. _Monsieur_, lui repondit le Soldat, _Puisque vous trouvez la chose si facile, je vous la donne en quatre_: Ce qui plût à ce Baron, qui tout cruel qu’il étoit, lui pardonna en faveur de ce bon mot. 87 A young Lady being in Company with her Husband, they began to tell merry Stories, and every one had his own; when it came to the Ladies turn, she was pleas’d to relate all the Stratagems that a Spark had us’d to get one Night into the Room of a Woman he lov’d, and whose Husband was absent; but it fell out unluckily as they were together, very well pleas’d with one another, that the Husband comes and knocks at the Door. _So you may imagine_, said she, _what Trouble I was in_. This preposterous Reflexion cast her Husband into another sort of Trouble, by giving him to understand what share he had in this Adventure; and how his Wife had blurted out a Truth, which she never design’d to let him know. 87 Une jeune Dame ètant en Compagnie avec son Mary, on se mit sur les bons Contes, & chacun dit ceux qu’il savoit; la Dame en voulut dire un à son tour, & raconta toutes les addresses dont un Galand s’ètoit servi pour s’introduire la nuit dans la Chambre d’une Femme qu’il aimoit, & dont le Mary ètoit absent; mais par malheur, ajoûta-t-elle, comme ils ètoient en semble, fort contens l’un de l’autre, Voici le Mari qui revint frapper à la porte: _Imaginez vous_, dit elle, _alors l’embarras où je fus._ Cette reflexion mal placée, jetta son Mary dans un autre embarras, en lui faisant connoitre la part qu’il avoit en cette avanture, & comme sa femme, sans y penser, avoit laissé échapper une verité qu’elle n’avoit pas intention de lui apprendre. 88 Count _Mansfelt_ having received three Routings in _Germany_, went to the _French_ King for new Recruits. As he was seeing the two Queens one day at Dinner, the Queen Mother said, _They say Count_ Mansfelt _is here among the Croud_. _I do not believe it_, said the young Queen, _for whensoever he sees a_ Spaniard _he runs away_. 88 Le Comte de _Mansfelt_, ayant perdu trois Battailles en _Allemagne_, vint demander de nouveaux Renforts au Roy de _France_. Un jour qu’il alla voir les deux Reines à diner, la Reine Mere dit: _On dit que le Comte de_ Mansfelt _est parmi cette Foule_; _je n’en crois rien_, Dit la jeune Reine, _Car il prend la fuite d’abord qu’il voit un Espagnol_. 89 A Captain that had a wooden Leg booted over, had it shattered to pieces by a Cannon Bullet; his Soldiers crying out, _A Surgeon, a Surgeon for the Captain_. _No, no_, said he, _a Carpenter will serve my turn_. 89 Un Capitaine qui avoit une jambe de bois bottée, y receut un coup de Canon qui la lui fracassa; & comme ses Soldats demandoient un _Chirurgien, Un Chirurgien pour le Capitaine_. _Non, non_, dit il, _un Charpentier fera mon affaire._ 90 A Secretary of State in _France_, passing the _Pont-neuf_, or New Bridge at _Paris_, between Nine and Ten a Clock in a Winter-night, with his Lacquey carrying a Flambeau before him, o’re-heard a noise of clashing of Swords and Fighting, and looking under the Flambeau, and perceiving they were but two, he bid his Footman go on. They had not gone many paces, but two armed Men, with their Pistols cock’d, and Swords drawn, made pushing towards them: One of them had a Paper in his Hand, which he said, he had casually took up in the Streets, and had occasion’d their difference; therefore they desired the Secretary to read it, with a great deal of Complement. The Secretary took out his Spectacles, and fell a reading the said Paper, whereof the Substance was, _That it should be known to all Men, that whosoever did pass over that Bridge after Nine a Clock in Winter, and Ten in Summer, was to leave his Cloak behind him, and in case of no Cloak, his Hat_. The Secretary started at this, one of the Rogues told him, That he thought that Paper concerned him; so they unmantled him, and my Secretary was content to go home in _Cuerpo_. 90 Un Secretaire d’Etat en _France_, passant en hyver sur le _Pont-neuf_ à _Paris_, sur les neuf à dix heures du soir avec son Laquay & un Flambeau pout l’éclairer, il entendit un Chamaillis d’Epées & de gens qui se battoient, & voyant à la faveur du Flambeau, qu’ils n’ètoitent que deux, il dit à son Laquay de passer Chemin. A peine eurent ils fait quelques pas que deux hommes armez, avec leurs Pistolets bandez, & l’épée nue, s’en vinrent fierement à eux: l’un d’eux avoit un Papier en sa main, qu’il dit avoir ramassé par hasard dans la ruë, & qui avoit causé leur demêlé; c’est pourquoy ils prierent fort civilement le Secretaire de le lire. Le Secretaire tira ses lunettes, & se mit à lire ce Papier, dont le contenu étoit. _Il est fait à scavoir à toutes Personnes que quiconque passera sur ce Pont après neuf heures en hyver, & dix en Eté, il aye à laisser son Manteau, & en cas qu’il n’ait point de Manteau, son Chapeau._ Comme un des Filous vit que le Secretaire tressailloit de peur, il lui dit, qu’il croyoit que cét écrit le regardoit; ainsi ils lui prirent son Manteau, & notre Secretaire fut content de ce qu’on le laissa aller paisiblement chez lui en pourpoint. 91 The Duke of _Ossuna_, Viceroy of _Naples_, passing by _Barcelona_, and having got leave to release some Slaves, he went aboard the _Cape Gally_, and passing through the Crew of Slaves, he ask’d divers of them what their Offences were; every one excus’d himself upon several pretences, one saying, That he was put in out of Malice; another by Bribery of the Judge, but all of them unjustly. Among the rest, there was one sturdy little black Man, and the Duke asking him what he was in for. _My Lord_, said he, _I cannot deny but I am justly put in here, for I wanted Money, and so took a Purse hard by_ Tarragona _to keep me from Starving._ The Duke, with a little Staff he had in his Hand, gave him two or three blows upon the Shoulders, saying, _You Rogue, what do you do amongst so many honest, innocent Men? Get you out of their Company._ So he was freed, and the rest remained still to Tug at the Oar. 91 Le Duc d’_Ossone_, Viceroy de _Naples_, passant par _Barcelone_, & voulant se servir du Droit qu’il avoit de delivrer quelques Forçats, alla sur la Galere Capitainesse, & passant par la Chiourme, il interrogea plusieurs Forcats touchant leurs Crimes. Ils s’excuserent tous sur divers Pretextes; les uns disant qu’ils ètoient là par malice, les autres parce que leur Juge avoit été corrompu; mais tous injustement. Parmi ceux-ci il se rencontra un petit noirand esperlucat, & comme le Duc lui demanda pourquoi il ètoit là: _Monseigneur_, dit il, _je ne saurois nier que ce ne soit avec justice qu’on m’a mis ici; car me trouvant sans argent, je pris une Bourse pres de_ Tarrascon _pour m’empêcher de mourir de faim_. Le Duc, avec un petit baton qu’il avoit en sa main, lui donna deux ou trois coups sur l’épaule, & lui dit, _Coquin, qu’est ce que tu fais ici parmi tant de gens de bien qui sont innocens? Sors promtement de leur Compagnie._ Ansi il fut mis en liberté, & les autres demeurerent pour tirer à la Rame. 92 _James_ I. King of _England_, asking the Lord Keeper _Bacon_, what he thought of the _French_ Ambassador; he answer’d, that he was a _tall, proper_ Man. _Ay_, replied the King, _What think you of his Head-piece? Is he a proper Man for an Ambassador?_ _Sir_, said _Bacon_, _Tall Men are like high Houses, wherein commonly the uppermost Rooms are worst furnished._ 92 _Jaques_ I. Roy d’_Angleterre_ demandant au Chancellier _Bacon_, ce qu’il pensoit de l’Ambassadeur de _France_; il respondit que c’ètoit un homme de belle taille. _Ouy_, repliqua le Roy, _mais que dites vous de sa tête? Est-elle propre pour une Ambassade?_ _Sire_, dit _Bacon_, _les Gens grands sont comme les Maisons de cinq ou six etages, ou les Chambres les plus hautes sont ordinairement les plus mal garnies._ 93 _Christopher_ of _Placentia_, a merry Gentleman, and a good Companion, but very poor withal, finding one Night some Thieves in his House, told them without putting himself in a Passion, _I cannot imagine what you expect to find in my House in the Night, since I can find nothing in it my self in the Day-time_. 93 _Christophe_ de _Plaisance_, Gentilhomme agréable & bon compagnon, mais fort pauvre, trouvant une nuit des voleurs dans sa maison, leur dit, sans se mettre en colere, _Je ne scay ce que vous pretendez trouver dans ma Maison pendant la nuit, puisque moy même, je n’y trouve rien pendant le jour_. 94 An _Italian_ Earl, about _Naples_, of a hundred thousand Crowns a Year, married a common Laundress; whereupon _Pasquin_ the next _Sunday_ Morning, had a foul and most dirty Shirt put upon his Back, and this Tart Libel beneath: Pasquin, _how now? A foul Shirt upon a_ Sunday? The answer in _Pasquin_’s behalf was, _I cannot help it, for my Laundress is made a Countess_. 94 Un Comte _Italien_, des environs de _Naples_, qui avoit cent mille ecus de rente, ayant épousé une simple Blanchisseuse; le Dimanche d’aprés, on vit _Pasquin_ avec une Chemise extremement sale, & ces mots satyriques au dessous: _Fi donc_, Pasquin, _Une Chemise sale un jour de Dimanche?_ La reponse en faveur de _Pasquin_ étoit, _Je ne saurois qu’y faire, car ma Blanchisseuse est devenue Comtesse._ 95 It was a tart Jest, which was in this manner put upon the Pope, and one of his Nephews, at the latter end of the Year 1649. It seems, the good old _Father_ had advanced the _Spark_ from a poor ignorant _Taylor_, to the Dignity of a _Roman Baron_: All the Ancient Nobility were disgusted at this, and some arch wag was set at work to ridicule the _Pope_’s Conduct, and the new _Barons_ honour. Wherefore on Christmas Day early in the morning, _Pasquil_ was observed to be apparell’d in Rags, and a very nasty habit, with a Schedule of paper in his hand, wherein was writ. _How now_, Pasquil, _what_! _All in Rags on a_ Christmas day? the answer for _Pasquil_ was, _Alas, I cannot help it, for my_ Taylor _is become a_ Baron. 95 On fit une Raillerie fort piquante sur le Pape, & un de les Neveux, sur la fin de l’année 1649. En cette maniere Le bon Pere avoit élevé ce jeune homme de la Condition d’un miserable benet de _Tailleur_, à la dignité de _Baron de Rome_; Toute l’ancienne Noblesse en fut piquée: & on chargea un Esprit malin de tourner en ridicule, & la conduite du Pape, & la dignité du nouveau Baron; sur cela on vit le jour de Noel, de grand matin, _Pasquin_ vêtu d’un habit fort sale & tout dechiré avec un morceau de Papier à la main, avec ces mots. _Quoy donc_, Pasquin, _d’où viennent ces Guenilles un jour de Noel?_ La réponse en faveur de _Pasquin_ ètoit, _Helas! je ne saurois qu’y faire, car mon_ Tailleur _à été fait_ Baron. 96 One day a Thief was carried to the Gallows, and as his Confessor ask’d him whether he was not sorry for having committed the Theft for which he was going to suffer, _Yes_, reply’d the Malefactor, _But I am still more sorry that I did not steal enough to bribe my Judges_. 96 Un jour on menoit un voleur à la Potence, & comme son Confesseur lui demandoit s’il n’étoit pas faché d’avoir commis le larcin pour lequel il alloit être pendu: _Ouy_, lui repondit le Criminel, _mais ce qui me fache advantage, c’est de n’avoir pas assez volé pour corrompre mes Juges_. 97 Two Ladies playing at Picquet, a young Lord came to them, and ask’d them what they play’d for. They answer’d that they only play’d for honour, _then there will be nothing for the Cards_, reply’d he. 97 Deux Dames joüant au Piquet, un jeune Seigneur vint sur le jeu, qui leur demanda ce qu’elles joüoient, elles lui dirent qu’elles ne joüoient que pour l’honneur. _Il n’y aura donc rien pour les cartes_; repliqua t-il. 98 A Lawyer told his Client, his adversary had remov’d his suit out of one Court into another; to whom the Client reply’d, _Let him remove it to the Devil if he pleases: I am sure my Attorney, for money, will follow it_. 98 Un avocat dit à son Client, que sa Partie adverse avoit porté l’affaire d’une cour à une autre, à quoi le Client répondit, _Elle n’a qu’à la porter au Diable si elle veut; Je suis seur que mon Procureur l’y poursuivra pour de l’argent_. 99 A Usurer had constantly two dishes brought to his table, but eat of but one; his Man once brought but one, and left the other behind. _Sirrah_, said his Master, _Where’s the other_ Dish? _Sir_, said he, _It has come so oft, I thought it would have found its way hither without my assistance_. 99 Un Usurier se faisoit toujours servir deux Plats à Table, quoy qu’il ne touchât qu’à un; un jour son valet n’en servit qu’un, & laissa l’autre. _Coquin_, lui dit son Maitre, _Où est l’autre Plat?_ _Monsieur_, dit il, _Il est venu ici si souvent, que je croyois qu’il retrouveroit assez le chemin sans moy_. 100 A Lawyer being Sick, made his will, and gave away all his Estate to Lunatick, Frantick, and Mad People: And being ask’d why he did so, he reply’d, _From such he had it, and to such he would give it again_. 100 Un Avocat ètant malade, fit son Testament & donna tout son Bien aux Fous, aux Lunatiques, & aux Enragez: Et comme on lui en demanda la raison, il repliquà, _Qu’il vouloit le rendre à ceux de qui il le tenoit_. 101 A Taylor carried his Bill to the Duke of _Buckingham_, who said he could not then pay him, but made him sup a Mess of his Broth, which having done, he humbly thanks his Grace, and takes his leave. He had not been at home exercising his Shears, but he was fit for the Bodkin, for his Broth began to operate, and provok’d him to call up his Wife, who presently attended his Motion, being easily prevail’d withal. So as the Potage began to work with him he work’d with her, and having highly pleased his Wife, as well as himself, with a Kiss dismiss’d her. Within a quarter of an Hour he calls her up again, and so he did to the third and fourth time. At last she ask’d him, how this strange and sudden Alteration came? So he told her, My Lord did not pay him his Bill, but gave him a Porrenger of his Broth, which had wrought these vigorous Effects. To which she reply’d, _Prithee, Husband, if my Lord is willing, take out all thy Bill in this Broth_. 101 Un Tailleur alla porter ses Parties au Duc de _Buckingham_, qui lui dit-qu’il ne pouvoit pas le payer alors, mais lui fit prendre une écuellée de son Bouillon, ce qu’ayant fait, il remercia très humblement sa Grandeur, & se retira. Il n’eut pas été long tems chez lui à faire aller ses Ciseaux, qu’il eut affaire de son Poinçon; car le Bouillon commençant à operer, il falut qu’il fit monter sa Femme, laquelle ne se fit pas beaucoup prier pour venir voir ce qu’il souhaitoit. A mesure que le Bouillon operoit sur lui, il en fit autant sur sa Femme; & s’étant bien diverti avec elle, il lui donna un baiser, & la renvoya. Dans un quart d’heure il la fit remonter; et puis une troisiéme & quatrieme fois. Enfin elle lui demanda d’où venoit un Changement si étrange & si subit? Il repondit que Milord ne lui avoit pas payé ses Parties, mais qu’il lui avoit donné, une écuellée de son Bouillon, qui l’avoit rendu si vigoureux: à quoi la Femme repliqua: _Je te prie, mon bon, si Milord le veut, paye toi de toutes tes parties en Bouillons_. 102 A Taylor, blind of one Eye, was come home sooner than his Wife expected; and because, during his absence, she had entertain’d her Lover, and could not tell how to convey him out; she bethought her self of this Stratagem, she goes to her Husband, and takes him about the Neck, claps her Hand upon his good Eye, and told him she was a dreaming last Night he could see with the other Eye, in the mean time her Spark slipt out. 102 Un Tailleur borgne revint au Logis avant que sa Femme l’y attendit; & comme pendant son absence elle s’ètoit divertie avec son galand, & qu’elle ne savoít comment le faire sortir, elle s’avisa de ce Stratageme: Elle s’approche de son mari, lui saute au cou, met sa main sur son bon oeil, & lui dit qu’elle avoit songé la nuit passée qu’il y voyoit de l’autre l’oeil, & dans ce tems là son galand se sauva. 103 A Taylor having a young and handsom Wife, went into the Country to his Customers; in the mean time a lusty young Journey-man sollicited her, but she refus’d; at last he vow’d, when she was in Bed, he’d come into the Chamber; she vow’d if he did, she’d have a great Knife in Bed with her to cut his Throat. At Night, he opens the Door softly, but remembering the Knife, was stealing out again. She hearing a noise, asked, who was there? ’Tis I, says he, and was resolv’d to lye with you, but that I remember’d your Vow of the Knife. _Oh! what a Fool was I_, says she, _to leave the Knife below in the Kitchen?_ 103 Un Tailleur, qui avoit une Femme jeune & belle, s’en ètant allé en Province chez ses Chalands; un de ses Compagnons jeune & vigoureux tacha de la corrompre, mais elle le rebuta; Enfin il jura que lors qu’elle seroit couchée, il la viendroit trouver dans sa chambre, & elle jura de son côté que s’il le faísoit, elle auroit un grand Couteau dans son lit pour lui couper la gorge. La nuit venuë, il ouvre doucement la Porte, mais se ressouvenant du Couteau, il alloit resortir à la derobée: Elle, entendant du bruit, demanda qui c’ètoit? C’est moy, dit il, qui avois resolu de coucher avec vous, n’ètoit que je me suis ressouvenu du serment que vous avez fait du Couteau. _O! la sotte que je suis_, dit elle, _d’avoir oublié le Couteau là bas dans la Cuísine!_ 104 One at a Lord’s Table, told him of a Piece of Chymistry, which he saw in _Flanders_, which was a general Cure for all Diseases; nay, I confess my self, says he, I could not have believ’d it, if I had not seen it; at which the Lord wondred much, and ask’d a Grave Philosopher at the Table, what he thought of it, _Why truly, my Lord_, says he, _that Gentleman has spoken my Sentiments, for he said he could not have believ’d it unless he had seen it, and truly no more will I_. 104 Un homme qui ètoit à la Table d’un Milord, l’entretenoit d’une Operation chimique qu’il avoit veuë en _Flandre_, & qui ètoit un Remede général pour toutes sortes de maux; & je vous avouë, dit il, que je ne l’eusse pas creu si je ne l’eusse veu moi-même; le Milord en parut fort surpris, & il demanda à un Philosophe grave qui ètoit à Table, ce qu’il en croyoit: _Vrayment, Milord_, dit-il, _ce Monsieur là vient d’expliquer mes sentimens, car il a dit qu’il ne l’eût point creu, á moins que de l’avoir veu, & moy je ne saurois le croire non plus_. 105 A Gentleman came into an Inn in _Chelmsford_, upon a very cold Day, and could get no room near the Fire, whereupon he calls to the Ostler to fetch a peck of Oysters, and give them to his Horse presently; will your Horse eat Oysters, reply’d the Ostler, I pray, try him, says the Gentleman; Immediately the People running to see this wonder, the fire side was clear’d, and the Gentleman had his choice of Seats. The Ostler brings the Oysters, and said the Horse would not meddle with them; why then, says the Gentleman, I must be forc’d to eat them my self. 105 Un Gentilhomme arriva dans une Hotelerie de _Chelmsford_, un jour qu’il faisoit grand froid, & comme il ne pouvoit avoir place auprés du feu, il appella le valet d’Escurie, & lui dit d’aller chercher un Picotin d’Huitres, & de les donner au plus vite à son cheval. Est-ce que vôtre cheval mange des huitres, reprit le valet d’Escurie? Vous n’avez qu’à essayer, lui dit le Gentilhomme. D’abord tout le monde accourut pour voir cette merveílle, & le feu demeurant libre, le Gentilhomme prit la place qu’il voulut. Un moment aprés le valet d’Escurie rapporte les huitres, & dit que le Chêval n’y vouloít pas mordre, Hé bien, dit le Gentilhomme, il faut que je les mange moí-même. 106 A Gentleman wanted two resolute Ruffians, to do some Exploit on one that had abused him, his Man brings him two whose Faces were slash’d and Cut: _No_, says he, _I’ll have none of you: but if you can bring me them, who gave you those Wounds, they are for my turn_. 106 Un Gentilhomme ayant affaire de deux Coupe-jarrets determinez pour faire piece à un homme qui lui avoit fait affront, son valet lui en amena deux, qui avoient le visage balafré: _Non_, dit-il, _je ne veux point de vous; Mais si vous pouvez m’amener ceux qui vous ont fait ces Balafres, ils feront mon affaire_. 107 Two Friends, who had not seen one another a great while, meeting by chance, one ask’d the other how he did? he said he was not very well, and was Married since he saw him. That is good news indeed, says he; Nay, not so much good news, neither, replies the other, for I have married a Shrew; that is bad, said the other; not so bad neither, said he; for I had two Thousand Pounds with her; that’s well again, said the other; not so well neither, for I laid it out in Sheep, and they died of the Rot; that was hard indeed, says his Friend; not so hard neither, says he, for I sold the Skins for more Money than the Sheep cost; that made you amends, says the other; not so much amends neither, said he, for I laid out my Money in a House, and it was burn’d: That was a great Loss indeed; Nay, not so great a Loss neither, for my Wife was Burnt in it. 107 Deux Amis qui ne s’ètoient pas veus depuis long tems, se rencontrant par hazard, l’un d’eux demanda à l’autre comment il se portoit? il lui dît pas trop bien, & qu’il s’ètoit marié depuis qu’il ne l’avoit veu: voilà une bonne nouvelle, dit-il; Pas trop bonne, lui repliqua l’autre, car j’ai épousé une querelleuse; Voila qui va mal, lui dit l’autre; pas tant mal non plus, dit il, car elle m’a apporté deux mille livres Sterlin; voilà qui est encore bien, lui dit l’autre; Pas trop bien non plus, car j’en ai acheté des Moutons, & ils sont tous morts du Tac: Voilà qui est cruel, lui dit son ami; Pas tant cruel, dit il, car j’ai vendu les peaux plus que les Moutons ne me coutoient; Cela vous a dedommagé, lui dit l’autre; Pas beaucoup, car j’en ai acheté une Maison qui s’est brulée; Voilà en verité une grande perte; Pas trop grande, car ma Femme s’y est brulée aussi. 108 One told his Wife, that he heard for certain, that they were all to be counted Cuckolds in their Town, but one man: _Who doest thou think that should be?_ says he, _Faith_, says she, _Husband, I cannot think who it is for my Life._ 108 Un homme dit à sa Femme, qu’on l’avoit assuré que tous ceux de leur ville passoient pour Cocus, à la reserve d’un seul: _Qui crois tu que c’est?_ dit-il; _Urayment, mon mari_, dit-elle, _je ne saurois m’imaginer qui ce peut être._ 109 A Cheat coming into an Inn, sent for a Shoemaker to bring some Boots, where having try’d on one pair, they fitted him very well; so he asked him the price of them, and told him he could not pay him for them this Week. The Shoemaker then told him, he must have the Boots again, the other perceiving there was no good to be done, takes to his heels, and runs through the Town, and the Shoemaker after him, crying out, stop him, stop him; Some going to stop him, pray do not stop me, for we two run for a Wager, I in Boots and he in Shoes; then they cry’d, Boots wins the Wager, if it were for a Hundred Pounds. 109 Un Filou ètant venu dans une Hotelerie, il envoya chercher un Cordonnier avec des Bottes, & en ayant essayé une Paire qui lui ètoient propres, il lui en demanda le prix, & lui dit qu il ne pouvoit pas le payer de la semaine; le Cordonnier lui dit qu’il vouloit donc ravoir ses Bottes; l’autre, voyant qu’il n’avançoit rien, prend aussi tôt la fuite, & court à travers la ville, & le Cordonnier aprés lui, criant de toute sa force, qu’on l’arrête, qu’on l’arrete. Comme quelques uns alloient l’arrêter, il leur cria; je vous prie ne m’arrêtez pas, car nous gageons à qui courra le mieux, moy avec des Bottes, & lui avec des souliers; alors ils s’écrierent qu’ils gageoint cent Livres Sterlin que les Bottes gagnoient. 110 A debauch’d Fellow was brought before a Justice of Peace for swearing; the Justice commanded him to pay his Fine, which was two Shillings for two Oaths; whereupon he pulls out half a Crown, and ask’d the Justice the price of a Curse, who told him Six pence: _Then a Pox take you all_, says he, _for Knaves and Fools, and there’s half a Crown for you: Who the Devil would stand changing of Money_. 110 Un Debauché fut mené devant un juge de Paix pour avoir fait des juremens; Le juge lui ordonna de payer l’amende, qui étoit deux Chelins pour deux juremens; là dessus il tire un demi-écu de sa poche, & demande au juge le prix d’une imprecation, lequel lui dit, Six sols: _Et bien_, dit il, _La Peste vous étouffe Fripons & Fous que vous ètes, voilà vôtre demi écu; qui Diable voudroit s’amuser à changer son argent._ 111 One _Pace_, a bitter Jester in Queen _Elizabeth’s_ time, came to Court: Come, sayd the Ladies, _Pace_, we shall now hear of our faults; _No_, says he, _I don’t use to speak of that which all the Town talks of_. 111 Un Certain _Pace_, grand Railleur du Tems de la Reine _Elisabeth_, ètant venu à la Cour: He bien, _Pace_, lui dirent les Dames, nous allons maintenant entendre nos Defauts: _Point_, dit il, _je n’ai pas accoutumé de parler de ce qui fait l’entretien de toute la ville._ 112 A Gentleman riding, had a Dog named _Cuckold_, which run after a Bitch into an Entry; upon which he, call’d _Cuckold, Cuckold_; the Woman of the House came out and said he was a Rogue to call her Husband _Cuckold_; you mistake, says he, I don’t call him, I call my Dog; _The more Knave you_, says she, _to call a Dog by a Christian bodies Name_. 112 Un Getilhomme à cheval, avoit un chien appellé _Cocu_, qui suivit une chienne dans une Entrée de maison; là dessus il se mit à crier, _Cocu, Cocu_; La Femme du logis sortit & lui dit qu’il ètoit un coquin d’appeller son mari cocu; Vous vous trompez, dit-il, ce n’est pas lui que j’appelle, c’est mon chien; _Vous avez encore plus grand tort_, dit elle, _de donner à un chien le nom d’un Chretien._ 113 It was the saying of _Alphonsus_, Sirnamed the Wise, King of _Aragon_, that amongst so many things as are by Men possest, or eagerly pursu’d in the Course of their Lives, all the rest are Bawbles, besides _dry Old Wood to Burn, Old Wine to Drink, Old Frinds to converse with, and Old Books to read_. 113 _Alphonse_, surnommé le _Sage_, Roy d’_Aragon_ avoit accoutumé de dire, que parmi tant de choses que lês Hommes possedent, ou qu’ils recherchent avec ardeur pendant le cours de leur vie, tout n’est qu’un vain amusement, excepté du _Bois sec & vieux pour bruler, du vin vieux pour boire, d’anciens amis pour converser, & de vieux Livres pour lire_. 114 A Gentleman who had a handsome Wife, used to come very often to _London_, and leave her in the Countrey; Now in his absence a lusty Fellow, a Carter, was familiar with her, which came to the Gentlemans Ear; Who vow’d he’d kill the Rogue, whenever he met him: and being one Day in the Field, one told him that’s the Fellow has made you a Cuckold; So to him he goes, Sirrah, says he, I hear in my absence, you are familiar with my Wife, and have made me a Cuckold: Well then, Sir, I have done so, and what then? What then, says he? Why if you had not confest it, I would have broke your Pate. 114 Un Gentilhomme, qui avoit une belle femme, avoit accoutumé de venir souvent à _Londres_, & de laisser sa Femme à la Campagne; pendant son absence un Drole de Chartier, fort & vigoureux; ètoit familier avec elle, ce qui étant venu aux Oreilles du Gentilhomme, il jura qu’il tüeroit ce Coquin en quelque endroit qu’il pût le renconter; Un jour, ètant aux Champs, quelqu’un lui dit: voilà le Drole qui vous à fait cocu; là dessus il s’approche de lui, & lui dit: Coquin, j’apprens que pendant mon absence vous ètes familier avec ma Femme, & que vous m’avez fait Cocu: Hé bien, Monsieur, dit il, je l’ai fait, qu’est ce qu’il y a? Ce qu’il y a, dit il? C’est que si vous ne l’aviez pas avoüé je vous aurois cassé la tête. 115 A Young Fellow, told his Wife the first Night he lay with her, that if she had consented to have laid with him before Marriage, he would never have made her his Wife, _Faith_, says she, _I did imagine as much, for I have been cozen’d so three or four times before, and was resolv’d not to be cozen’d so now_. 115 Un jeune homme dit à sa femme la premiere nuit des nôces, que si elle lui eût permis de coucher avec elle avant le Mariage, il ne l’eût jamais épousée: _Ma foy_, dit elle, _C’est ce que je me suis imaginée, car j’ai deja été attrapée trois ou quatre fois auparavant, & je n’avois garde de me laisser encore attraper._ 116 A modest Gentlewoman being compelled to accuse her Husband of defect, and being in the Court, she humbly desir’d the Judge, that she might write what she durst not speak for Modesty; the Judge gave her that liberty, and a Clerk was presently commanded to give her Pen, Ink, and Paper; Whereupon she took the Pen without dipping it into the Ink, and made as if she would write. Says the Clark to her, Madam, there is no Ink in your Pen, _Truly, Sir_, says she, _that’s just my Case, and therefore I need not explain my self any further._ 116 Une Demoiselle modeste ètant forcée d’accuser son Mari d’impuissance, & ètant à l’audience, elle pria tres humblement le Juge de lui permettre d’écrire ce qu’elle n’osoit dire, par Modestie; le Juge lui accorda cette liberté, & commanda d’abord àu Greffier de lui donner une Plume, de l’Encre & du Papier; Elle prit la plume, sans y mettre de l’Encre, & fit semblant d’écrire; Le Greffier luit dit, Madame, Il n’y a point d’Encre à votre plume: _Urayment, Monsieur_, dit elle, _c’est là justement mon cas, & ainsi il n’est pas nécessaire que je m’explique d’avantage._ 117 An Excise-man walking by a River, espy’d a Boy fishing, who knew him to be of that honourable Profession. My pretty Lad, says he, what dost thou fish for? I fish for the Devil, reply’d the Boy, but I want the right Bait to catch him. What Bait is that, say’s the other? _Indeed, Sir, I have been told, there is no better Bait in the World, than an Excise-man._ 117 Un Maltotier se promenant prés d’une Riviere vit un Garçon qui peschoit, & qui savoit qu’il étoit de cette honnorable Profession. Petit Garçon, lui dit il, Que pesches tu? Je tâche de pescher le Diable, repliqua le Garçon, mais je n’ai pas la bonne amorce pour l’attraper: Quelle est cette amorce, dit l’autre? _Urayment, Monsieur, j’ai entendu dire qu’il n’y à pas de meilleure amorce qu’un Maltotier._ 118 One having been a long Journey, and to make the more hast, rid Post, being come home very weary, desired his Wife to excuse him from embracing of her that Night: She seem’d pretty well contented, but curs’d those in her Heart that invented riding Post. The next day walking with his Wife into the Yard, he espy’d the Cock asleep in the Sun, by the Hens; then he ask’d his Wife, what made the Cock so dull and sleepy. _Truly_, says she, _I don’t know, unless he has rid Post._ 118 Un homme qui venoit d’un grand Voyage, & qui pour faire diligence avoit couru la Poste, ètant arrivé chez lui, il pria sa Femme de l’excuser s’il ne la caressoit pas cette nuit; Elle parut assez contente, mais maudit dans son coeur ceux qui avaient inventé la Poste. Le Lendemain, se promenant dans la Cour avec sa Femme, il vit le Coq endormi au soleil auprés des Poules, & la dessus il demanda à sa Femme qu’est-ce qui rendoit le Coq si pesant & assoupi; _Urayment_, dit elle, _je ne sai, à moins que ce ne soit d’avoir couru la Poste._ 119 A Sea-Captain was saying his Great Grandfather’s, Grandfather, and Father dy’d at Sea. Says one to him, If I were as you, I would never go to Sea for that trick. Why, says he, where did all your Relations dye? He answer’d, In their Beds. _Well_, reply’d he, _If I were as you, (for the same reason) I would never go into Bed._ 119 Un Capitaine de Vaisseau disoit que son Bisayeul, son Ayeul & son Pere ètoient morts sur mer; si j’ètois que de vous, lui dit quelqu’un, je n’irois jamais sur mer à cause de cela. Et où est-ce que tous vos Parens sont morts, lui dit-il? Il repondit dans leur lit. _Et bien_, repliqua-t-il, _par la même raison, si j’ètoit que de vous je ne me mettrois jamais au lit._ 120 An _English_ Merchant in _Amsterdam_, was to sell a Thousand Pounds worth of Gloves to some _Jews_, who recanting of the Bargain when they brought their Money, would have but half; the _English_ Merchant desired a little time to sort them, and told them they should have half; so he commanded his Men to put all the Right-handed Gloves in one Parcel, and the Left in another. Then, when the _Jews_ came, he bid them take their Choice, which being done, and the Money paid, they began to pack up, but perceiving at last they were all for one Hand, they were forc’d to take the rest at the Merchant’s Rates. 120 Un Marchand _Anglois_ à _Amsterdam_, devoit vendre pour cent livres Sterlin de Gans à certains _Juifs_, lesquels se dedisant du Marché, en apportant leur Argent n’en voulurent prendre que la Moitié; le Marchand _Anglois_ leur demanda un peu de tems pour les appareiller, & leur dit qu’ils en auroient Moitié; Ensuite il donna ordre à ses Gens de la mettre tous les Gans de la main droite en une Partie, & ceux de la gauche en une autre; quand les _Juifs_ vinrent il leur dit de choisir, ce qu’ayant fait, & payé l’argent, ils commencerent à les empaqueter, mais comme ils s’apperceurent enfin qu’ils ètoient tous d une main, ils furent obligez de prendre les autres au prix du Marchand. 121 A Gentleman order’d his Man to call him in the Morning at Six of the Clock, but he awaked him at Four: Being ask’d the reason, he reply’d, _He came to tell him he had two Hours more to Sleep_. 121 Un Gentilhomme donna ordre à son valet de l’appeller à six heures du Matin, mail il l’éveilla à quatre; & comme il lui en demanda la raison, il répondit: _Qu’il venoit lui dire qu’il avoit encore deux heures à dormir_. 122 A Cook serving a miserly Man, said he would go from him; being asked the reason, says he, _If I stay here long, I shall forget my Trade_. 122 Un Cuisinier qui servoit un Taquin, dit qu’il vouloit le quitter, & comme on lui demanda pourquoi? _C’est_, dit il, _que si je demeure long tems chez lui, j’oublierai mon metier_. 123 A Lady having two Suitors, one Tall, and the other Short; a Gentleman ask’d her, Which she lik’d best? Says she, _Indeed, Sir, I like the tallest, if all things are proportionable_. 123 Une Dame ètant recherchée par deux Galands dont l’un ètoit grand, & l’autre petit, un Gentilhomme lui demanda, lequel ètoit le plus à son gre? _Urayment, Monsieur_, dit elle, _le grand me revient le plus, pourveu qu’il ayt tout à proportion._ 124 One ask’d why Men sooner give to Beggars than Scholars? Another reply’d, _Because they think they may sooner come to be Beggars than Scholars_. 124 Un homme demandoit pourquoi on donnoit plûtôt aux Gueux qu’aux Savans? Un autre lui répondit, _Parce qu’on peut devenir gueux plûtôt que savant_. 125 One was asking another his Opinion, What the World thought of him? _Why_, reply’d the other, _you appear to the Wise, foolish; to Fools, wise; and pray, what do you think of your self_. 125 Un homme demandoit à un autre, quelle opinion on avoit de lui? _Urayment_, lui dit l’autre, _vous paroissez fou, aux Sages; & Sage, aux fous; mais, je vous prie, que pensez vous de vous même._ 126 A Father chid his Son for rising late, and gave him an instance of a certain Man, who being up betimes, found a Purse full of Gold. Answered the Son: _He that lost it, was up still before him_. 126 Un pere grondoit son filz de ce qu’il se levoit tard, & luy disoit pour exemple qu’un certain homme s’ètant levé de bon Matin, il avoit trouvé une bourse pleine de Pistoles, son filz luy répondie. _Celui qui l’avoit perdue s’ètoit levé encore plus matin._ 127 A Physitian having sent for a Farrier to cure his Mule; the second time he came, the Physitian put Half a Crown into his Hand. The Farrier return’d it, and told him, _Sir, We never take any Money of those of our own Profession_. 127 Un Medecin ayait fait venir un Marechal pour lui guerir sa Mule, la seconde fois qu’il vint, le Medecin luy mit trente, solz dans la main, le Marechal les luy rendit en luy disant, _Monsieur, vous ne prenons jamais d’argent de ceux de notre profession_. 128 A Man said that Impertinencies resembled Misfortunes, which never came by themselves, and that when ever be heard any spoke, he would bid it wellcome, provided it came alone. 128 On homme disoit que les sottises resembloint aux malheurs, qui ne viennent jamais seuls, & qu Vaussitôt qu’il en entendoit dire quelqu’u úne, il disoit, soyéz la bien venuë pourveu que vous soyez seule. 129 Two young Men demanded a young Woman in Marriage of her Father; one of which was Rich, and the other Poor; the Father having given her to the last, some of his Friends ask’d him, why he did not bestow her on the rich Man? _Because_, says he, _the rich Man has no Wit, and so may grow Poor; but the other, who is a wise and sensible Man, may easily grow Rich_. 129 Deux jeunes hommes demandoient une Fille en mariage à son pere, l’un étoit riche & l’autre pauore, le pere l’ayant donnée au dernier quelques-uns de ses amis lui demanderent pourquoy il ne l’avoit pas donnée à celuy qui étoit riche; _Parce que_, leur dit-il, _Le riche qui n’a point d’esprit, pourra devenir pauvre, mais le pauvre qui est un homme judiceux & sage pouvra facilement devenir riche_. 130 A Man that had but one Eye, met early in the Morning one that had a crooked Back, and said to him, _Friend, you are loaden betimes. ’Tis early indeed_, reply’d the other, _for you have but one of your Windows open_. 130 Un borgne rencontra un matin de fort bonne heure un bossu, & luy dit, _compere, vous êtes chargé de bonne heure_; _il est vray qu’il est de bonne heure_, dit le bossu, _car vous n’avez, encor qu’ une fenêtre ouverte_. 131 A certain Man said, That Wine had two bad Qualities: _First_, If you mix Water with it, you spoil it. _Secondly_, If you mix none with it, it will spoil your own self. 131 Un certain homme disoit, que le vin avoit deux mauvaises qualitez: la premiere, si l’on met de l’eau dans le Vin, vous le gâtez, la seconde si vous n’y en mettez point, il vous gâte vous même. 132 Two riding from _Shipton_ to _Burford_, and seeing a Miller riding softly before them on his Sacks, resolv’d to abuse him; so one went on one side of him, and t’other on the other side, saying, _Miller, now tell us, which art thou, more Knave or Fool_? _Truly_, says he, _I don’t know, which I am most, but I guess I am between both_. 132 Deux Hommes allant à cheval de _Shipton_ à _Burford_, & voyant un Meunier, qui alloit tout doucement devant eux monté sur ses sacs, ils resolurent de se moquer de lui, & pour cét effet l’un d’euxse mít à un de ses côtez & l’autre de l’autre, _Lui demandant s’il ètoit plut fripon que fou_? _Vrayment_, dit-il, _Je ne sai ce que je suis le plus, mais je juge que je suis entre deux_. 133 In _Flanders_ by accident, a _Flemish_ Tyler fell from the Top of a House upon a _Spaniard_ and Kill’d him, though by good luck, he escap’d unhurt himself; the next of the Blood, prosecuted his Death with great Violence against the Tyler; and when he was offered Pecuniary Recompence, nothing would serve him but _Lex Talionis_; Whereupon the Judge said to him, that if he did urge that kind of Sentence, it must be that he should go up to the Top of the same House, and from thence to fall down upon the Tyler, and so to put him to Death the same way he had kill’d his Kinsman. 133 En _Flandres_ un Maçon _Flamand_ tomba par accident du Toit d’une Maison sur un _Espagnol_, & le tua, quio qu’il eut le bonheur d’echapper lui même sans se faire mal; le plus proche Parent fit des poursuites vigoureules contre le Maçon au sujet de la mort du Defunt, & quoy qu’il lui offrit une Recompense pecuniaire, il insistôit toujours sur la loy du Talion. Sur quoy le juge lui dit que s’il demandoit une telle sentence, il faloit qu’il montât sur le Toit de la même Maison & que de là il se jettàt sur le Maçon, & qu’ainsi il le fit mourir, de la mème maniere qu’il avoit tué son Parent. 134 The _Spaniards_ sided with the Duke of _Mayenne_, and the rest of those Rebels in _France_, which call’d themselves the _Holy League_; and a _French_ Gentleman beîng ask’d the Cause of their Civil Broils, with an excellent Allusion he replied, they were _Spania_ and _Mania_, seeming by this answer to signifie Σπανία, Penury, and Μανία, Fury; but covertly therein implying the King of _Spain_, and the Duke of _Mayenne_. 134 Les _Espagnols_ favorisoient le patli du Duc _De Mayenne_ & des autres Rebelles de _France_, qui prirent le nom de _Sainte Ligue_: Et comme on demandoit à un Gentilhomme _François_ les causes de leurs Brouilleries domestiques, il repondit par cette excellente Allusion, qu’elles ètoient _Spanie_ & _Manie_; semblant signifier par cette Reponse Σπανία, indigence; & Μανία, la Manie, la Fureur; Mais voulant marquer à mots couverts, le Roy d’_Espagne_ & le Duc de _Mayenne_. 135 _Thomas Aquinas_ came one Day to Pope _Innocent_ the Third, in whose Presence they were at that time telling a great Sum of Money: Thou seest _Thomas_, said the Pope, that the Church need not say now as she did at the biginning, _Silver and Gold I have none_. _Thomas_, without study reply’d: _You say true, Holy Father, Nor can the Church say now, as the Antient Church said to the Cripple_, Arise, walk and be whole. Note by the by that some relate this story of Pope _Sixtus_ IV. and a Cordelier, or Franciscan Frier. 135 _Thomas d’Aquin_ vint voir un jour le Pape _Innocent_ III. en presence de qui on contoit alors une grande somme d’argent. Tu vois _Thomas_, lui dit le Pape, que l’ Eglise n’a pas besoin de dire presentement, ce qu’elle disoit dans son enfance, _Je n’ai ni or, ni argent_. A quoi _Thomas_ lui repliqua sans étude: _Il est vray Saint Pere, mais aussi l’Eglise d’àpresent ne peut elle pas dire ce que l’ancienne dit à ce même Boiteux_, Leve-toi, marche & te porte bien. Remarquez en passant que quelques uns font ce Conte du Pape _Sixte_ IV. Et d’un Cordelier. 136 Pope _Alexander_ the sixth was asking _Jerome donatus_, Ambassador of _Venice_, of whom the _Venetians_ held those Rights and Customs of the Sea, the Ambassadour answer’d him presently, _Let your Holiness shew me the Character of St._ Peter_’s Patrimony, and you shall find on the back thereof, a Grant made to the_ Venetians _of the_ Adriatick _Sea_. 136 Le Pape _Alexandre_ VI. demandoit à _Jerome Donat_, Ambassadeur de _Venise_, de qui les _Venitiens_ tenoient les Droits, & les Coutumes de la Mer? A quoi l’Ambassadeur repondit sur le champ: _Que vôtre sainteté me montre les Titres du Patrimonie de_ S. Pierre, _& vous trouverez au dos, une donation faite aux_ Venitiens _de la Mer_ Adriatique. 137 It was the saying of a merry conceited Fellow, that in Christendom there were neither Schollars enough, Gentlemen enough, nor _Jews_ enough: And when answer was made, that of all these there were rather too great a Plenty than any scarcety, he replied, that if there were Scholars enough, so many ignorant Dunces would not be beneficed; if Gentlemen enough, so many Plebeians would not be rank’d amongst the Gentry; and if _Jews_ enough, so many _Christians_ would not profess Usury. 137 Un Plaisant avoit accoutumé de dire que dans la Chretienté il n’y avoit n’y assez de gens scavans, ni assez de Gentilhommes, ni assez de _Juiss_: Et comme on lui répondit que bien loin qu’il en manquât il n’y en avoit qu’un trop grand nombre, il repliqua, que s’il y avoit assez de scavans, il n’y auroit pas tant d’ignorans beneficiez; Si assez de Gentilhommes, il n’y auroit pas tant de Roturiers faits nobles; & si assez de _Juiss_, tant de _Chrêtiens_ ne se feroient pas Usuriers. 138 In Queen _Elizabeth’s_ time, when the Wars were hot betwixt _England_ and _Spain_, a negotiation was resolv’d upon to treat of Peace between these two Crowns, in order to which Commissioners were appointed on both sides. They met at a Town of the _French_ King’s. And first it was debated in what Tongue the Negotion should be handled. A _Spaniard_ thinking to give the _English_ Commissioners a shrewd gird, propos’d the _French_ Tongue as most fit, it being a Language the _Spaniards_ were well Skill’d in, and for the Gentlemen of _England_, I suppose, says he, that they cannot be ignorant of the Language of their Fellow Subjects, since their Queen is Queen of _France_ as well as of _England_. Nay, in Faith, my Masters, replied Dr. _Dale_ one of the _English_ Commissioners, the _French_ Tongue is too vulgar for a business of this Secrecy and importance, especially in a _French_ Town; Let us therefore rather treat in _Hebrew_, the Language of _Jerusalem_, whereof your Master is King; and I suppose you are therein as well skill’d as we in the _French_. 138 Du tems de la Reine _Elizabeth_, dans la chaleur des guerres entre l’_Angleterre_ & l’_Espagne_, il fut resolu qu’on entreroit dans un Traité de Paix entres ces deux couronnes; Et Pour cét effet on nomma des Commissaires de part & d’autre. Ils s’assemblerent dans une Ville du Roy de _France_, & la premiere question que l’on mit sur le Tapis fut, en quelle Langue se seroít la negotiation. Un _Espagnol_, voulant railler les Commissaires _Anglois_, proposa la langue _Françoise_ comme la plus propre, & que les _Espagnols_ entendoient fort bien, & pour ces Messieurs les _Anglois_, je crois, dit-il, qu’ils n’ignorent pas la langue des autres sujets _François_, puis que leur Reine est Reine de _France_ aussi biên que d’_Angleterre_. De bonne Foy, Messieurs, reprit le Docteur _Dale_, un des Commissaires _Anglois_, la langue _Francoise_ est trop vulgaire pour une affaire si secrette & si importante, sur tout dans une ville de _France_. Traitons plûtôt en _Hebreu_, qui est la langue de _Jerusalem_, dont vôtre Maitre est le Roy; pour moi, je suppose que vous y ètes aussi bien versez que nous le sommes dans le _François_. 139 _Poggius_ the _Florentine_ tells a merry Story condemning the Folly of such, especially mean Persons, as spend their Time and Estates in Hunting and Hawking. Mr. _A——._ Physician of _Milan_, saith he, that cured Mad-men, had a Pit of Water in his House, in which he kept his Patients, some up to the Knees, some to the Girdle, some to the Chin, as they were more or less affected. One of them, that was pretty well recover’d, stood by chance in the Door, and seeing a Gentleman ride by with a Hawk on his Fist, and his Spaniels after him, would needs know to what use all this preparation serv’d? He made answer to kill certain Fowl; the Patient demanded again, what his Fowl might be worth which he killed in a Year. He replied, nine or ten Crowns; and when he urged him further, what his Dogs, Horses, and Hawks, stood him in? He told him four Hundred Crowns; with that the Patient bid him be gone as he loved his Life and Welfare; For, said he, if our Master come and find thee here he will certainly put thee into his Pit amongst Madmen up to the very chin. 139 _Poggius_ le _Florentin_ raconte une histoire plaisante pour condamner la Folie de ceux qui consument leur Tems & leur Bien à la chasse, & à la Fauconnerie, sur tout quand ce sont des Personnes de bas lieu. Un Medecin de _Milan_, dit-il, qui guerissoit de la Folie, avoit un creux plein d’eau dans sa maison, où il mettoit ses malades, les uns jusq’aux genoux, les autres jusqu’à la ceinture & les autres jusqu’au menton, selon qu’ils ètoient plus ou moins fous. Un d’eux, qui ètoit déja assez bien remis, se tenoit par hazard devant la Porte, & voyant passer un Gentilhomme à cheval, avec un Faucon sur le Poing, & ses chiens aprés lui, il voulut savoir à quoi servoit tout cét appareil! Il lui répondit à tuer certain Gibier; le malade lui demanda encore ce que pouvoit valoir le Gibier qu’il tuoit en un an? l’Autre lui repliqua neuf ou dix écus; & comme il le pressa de lui dire combien ses Chiens, son Cheval & ses Oiseaux lui coutoient d’entretien tous les ans? Il lui dit quatre cens écus: Le Malade entendant cela lui dit de s’en aller au plus vite, si son salut lui ètoit cher; Car, dit il, si nôtre Maitre vient, & vous trouve ici, il vous mettra assurément dans son creux avec les Foux jusqu’au Menton. 140 An Amourous Lady having granted an Assignation to a Man who had express’d a Passion for her, she receiv’d him in her Chamber all alone, and very finely drest. The Lover fell on his Knees to her, and after many fine Speeches, _Oh! Madam_, says he to her, _Why have I not got you in the midst of a Wood! What, you design to Cut my Throat_, cryed the Lady in a Passion: And thereupon call’d her Women, to rid her of so cold a Lover. 140 Une Dame Galante ayant accordé un Rendezvous à un homme qui lui avoit temoigné de la Passion, Elle le receut seule dans sa Chambre, & fort parée. l’Amant se mis à genoux auprés d’elle, & aprés plusieurs beaux discours, il lui dit: _Ah, Madame, que ne vous tiens-je maintenant dans le fond d’un Bois? C’est donc pour m’égorger_, s’ecria la Dame irrittée: & elle appella aussi-tôt ses Femmes pour la delivrer de ce froid Amant. 141 Two Brothers, who liv’d together favour’d extreamly one another, and bore the same Name. A Man desired to speak to one of them. _Which do you ask for?_ Said the Porter, _The Counsellor_, answer’d the Man, They are both Councellors. _Him that Squints a little_; they both Squint. _Him that has a handsom Wife_; both their Wives are handsom. _Well then, him who is a Cuckold._ By my Faith, Sir, answered the Porter, I take them both to be Cuckolds. _Well_, said the Man, _these two Brothers are strangely fated to resemble one another_. 141 Deux Freres qui logeoient ensemble, se ressembloient parfaitement, & portoient le même nom. Un homme demanda à parler à l’un des deux. _Lequel demandez-vous?_ Lui dit le Portier: _Celui qui est conseiller_, repondit cét homme; ils le sont tous deux. _Celui qui est un peu louche_; ils le sont tous deux. _Celui qui est marié_; ils le sont tous deux. _Celui qui a une belle Femme_, ils en sont tous deux. _C’est donc celui qui est cocu_; Ma foi, Monsieur, lui repondit le Portier, je crois qu’ils le sont tous deux. _Voilà_, dit cét homme, _deux Freres bien destinez à se ressembler_. 142 The Players acting at _Paris_ before King _Lewis_ XIII. a Play against the Men of the Long Robe, had placed among the Spectators one of their Company in a City-dress. This Player, who by his Habit appear’d like a Counsellor at Law, stood up at the merriest part of the Play, and said with a loud Voice, That it was intolerable to see Lawyers thus played upon, and that they should have Satisfaction for it. In short, he charg’d the Player to desist immediately, and forbear going on with so insolent a Play. _I will have them go on with it_, answered the King, who took him to be a Counsellor, that broke in upon the Respect due to him, by threatening them in his Presence. Which created a new Diversion in the Audience, when they came to know that he was a Player in Disguise. And the King, who understood Raillery, was one of the first that laugh’d at his mistake. 142 Les Comediens joüant à _Paris_ devant _Louis_ XIII. une Comedie contre les Gens de Robe avoient fait mettre parmi les Spectateurs, un de leur troupe en Habît de Ville. Ce Comedien, qui avec cét Habit ressembloit à un Conseiller, se leva à l’endroit le plus risible de la Piece, dit hautement que cela n’ètoit pas supportable, de voir ainsi jouer les Gens de justice, & qu’ils en auroient raison. Enfin, il somma les Comediens de cesser à l’instant cette insolente Piece. _Et moi je veux qu’ils la joüent_, repondit le Roy, qui crut que c’étoit un Conseiller qui lui manquoit de respect en sa presence. Ce qui donna une autre espéce de Divertissement à l’assemblée, lors qu’elle seut que c’étoit un Comedien deguisé. Et le Roy qui entendoit Raillerie, rit le premier d’y avoir été trompé. 143 The Ingenious come off of _Richard_ I. King of _England_, for excusing to the Pope his keeping _Philip_, Bishop of _Beauvais_ his Prisoner, is to be admired. This Bishop was a Warlike Man, very troublesom to the _English_, who possest the best part of _France_. Being at last fallen into their Hands, the Pope not knowing how it came to pass, wrote to the King for his Freedom, as being a Clergyman, and one of his beloved Sons. Whereupon the King sent to the Pope the Armour, in which the Bishop was taken, having first caused these Words to be ingraven upon it: _Vide an hæc sit Tunica Filii tui vel non_: See if this be the Coat of thy Son, or not. Which are the very Words that _Jacob_’s Children used, when they brought to him the Coat of their Brother _Joseph_. The Pope viewing the Armour, did ingenuously own, _That this Bishop was more like the Son of_ Mars, _than of the_ Church; and so left him wholly to the King’s Mercy. 143 L’Addresse de _Richard_ I. Roy d’_Angleterre_ pour excuser au Pape sa detention de _Philippe_ Evêque de _Beauvais_, qu’il avoit fait Prisonnier, est admirable. Cét Evêque ètoit un Homme aguerri, & fort incommode aux _Anglois_, qui possedoient alors la meilleure partie de la _France_. Etant enfin tombé entre leurs Mains, le Pape, qui en ignoroit la Maniere, écrivit au Roy pour son élargissement, comme étant Ecclesiastique, & un de ses Fils bien-aimez. Le Roy là-dessus envoye au Pape l’Armure que l’Evêque portoit quand il fut pris, y ayant premierement fait graver ces Mots, _Vide an hæc sit Tunica Filii tui vel non_: Voi si c’est le hoqueton de son Fils, ou non. Qui sont les propres Termes dont se servirent les Enfans de _Jacob_, lors qu’ils lui presenterent le Hoqueton de leur Frere _Joseph_. Le Pape voyant l’Armure avoüa de bonne foy, _Que cét Evêque avoit en effet plûtôt l’air d’un Fils de_ Mars, _que d’un Fils de l’_Eglise, & l’abandonna là dessus au bon plaisir du Roy. 144 A poor Country-woman of _Poitou_ fell into such a Lethargy, that her Husband, and all the Women of the Neighbourhood, gave her over for Dead. In order to bury her, they only wrapt her up in a Sheet, as ’tis usual with the poor People of that Province. As she was carried to the Church-Yard, they pass’d so pear a Thorn-bush, that being prickt to the Quick by the Thorns, she came out of her Lethargy; but some Years after she died in good earnest. Her Husband apprehensive of another Resurrection, remembred the Thorn-bush. And when his Wife’s Corps came near it, he fail’d not crying several times, _Take heed of the Thorn-bush, do not come too near the Hedge_. 144 Une Pauvre Païsane du _Poitou_ tomba malade d’une si grande Lethargie, que son Mari & toutes les Femmes du voisinage la crurent morte. Pour l’enterrer, on ne fit que l’enveloper d’un Drap, suivant la maniere des pauvres Gens de cette Province. Comme on la portoit au Cimetiere, on passa si prés d’un Buisson d’Epines qu’étant piquée jusqu’au vif par les Epines, elle revint de sa Lethargie; mais quelques années aprés elle mourut tout de bon. Son Mari craignant une autre Resurrection; se souvint du Buisson d’Epines, & quand le Corps de sa Femme passa prés de ce Buisson, il ne manqua pas de crier à diverses fois, _Prenez garde au Buisson d’Epines, n’approchez pas trop de la haye_. 145 _Sixtus_ V. being made Pope from a Cordelier, (or Gray-Friar) did not change his Humour by changing his Fortune, but kept still the Character of a facetious Man: And he lov’d to run over in his Mind all the cunning Tricks he had played, and the Adventures of his first Condition. He remembred, amongst other things, that when he a Cordelier, he had borrowed Money of ——, and had not repaid it to him. He therefore inquired about him, and hearing he was still living, he sent him Orders to come, and give him an Account of his Actions. The good Father, who found no Guilt upon him, went to _Rome_ with that Tranquillity of Mind, which is the result of a good Conscience. And being come before the Pope, _We are inform’d_, says the Holy Father to him, _that you have misimployed the Revenues of your Monastery; and we have sent for you, to give us an Account of the Matter._ _Holy Father_, answer’d the Monk, _I think my self altogether Innocent as to that._ _Consider well_, said the Pope, _Whether you have not indiscreetly lent Money to any Body, particularly to a certain Cordelier, who came to you such a Year._ The good Man having thought upon it a while: _’Tis true_, said he, _Holy Father, He was a great Knave, who got that Money from me upon idle Pretences, and a Promise he made me of repaying it in a little time._ _Well_, said the Pope, _we are that very Cordelier you speak of. We are willing to return that Money, according to Promise, and advise you at the same time never to lend any more to Men of that Coat, who are not all cut out for Popes, to be in a Condition to pay you again._ The good Man, very much surpriz’d to find his Cordelier in the Person of a Pope, offered to beg his Pardon for calling him Knave. _Never trouble your self about it_, said the Holy Father, _that might be true enough at that time; but God has furnish’d us with means to retrieve our past Offences._ Thus he dismist the good Monk, having paid him the Money he ow’d him, and exprest to him great Demonstrations of Favour. 145 _Sixte_ V. ètant devenu Pape de Cordelier qu’il ètoit, ne changea pas d’humeur en changeant de fortune, mais conserva le Caractere qu’il avoit d’homme naturellement plaisant, & il aimoit à repasser dans sa memoire les bons Tours qu’il avoit faits, & les aventures de sa premiere Condition. Il se ressouvint entr’autres choses, qu’ètant Cordelier, il avoit emprunté de l’argent du Superieur du Convent de ——, & qu’il ne le lui avoit point rendu. Il demanda donc de ses nouvelles, & ayant appris qu’il vivoit encore, il lui envoya ordre de venir lui rendre conte de ses Actions. Le bon Pere qui n’avoit rien à se reprocher, s’en alla à _Rome_, avec la tranquillité que donne une bonne Conscience. Quand il fut devant le Pape: _On nous a averti_, lui dit le S. Pere, _que vous avez mal employé les deniers de votre Convent, & nous vous avons envoyé querir pour nous en rendre compte._ _S. Pere_, lui repondit ce Religieux, _Je ne crois point avoir failli en cela._ _Songez, bien_, dit le Pape, _si vous n’avez point prêté de l’argent à quelqu’un mal-à-propos, & entr’autres à un certain Cordelier qui passa chez vous en une telle année._ Ce bon Homme aprés avoir un peu revé, lui dit: _Saint Pere, il est vray, C’ètoit un grand Fripon, qui m’atrappa cet argent sous de vains Pretextes, & sur la parole qu’il me donna de me le rendre dans peu._ _Hé bien_, lui dit le Pape, _nous sommes ce Cordelier dont vous parlez nous voulons bien vous restituer cet argent, suivant notre Promesse, & vous donner avis en même tems, de n’en plus prêter aux Gens de cette Robe; qui ne sont pas tous destinez à devenir Papes, pour être en êtat de vous le rendre._ Le bon Homme fort surpris de retrouver son Cordelier en la Personne du Pape, voulut alors lui demander pardon de l’avoir appellé Fripon. _Ne vous en mettez pas en peine_, lui dit le S. Pere, _cela pouvoit bien être en ce tems-là; mais Dieu nous a donné le moyen de reparer nos fautes passées._ Il renvoya ensuite ce bon Religieux, aprés lui avoir rendu l’argent qu’il lui devoit, & lui avoir fait beaucoup de Caresses. 146 A Divine, preaching before a great Prince, who had taken up Arms against his own Country, compar’d him to _Coriolanus_, that famous _Roman_ Captain, who having well deserv’d of his Country in the Infancy of the Commonwealth, was banish’d out of it, which piece of Ingratitude he so highly resented, that he came and laid Siege to _Rome_, assisted by the _Volsci_. _That great Captain_, cry’d the Preacher, _justly provok’d by the Ingratitude of his Countrymen, was in a Condition to take a cruel Vengeance of them. But at last he was prevail’d upon by the Tears of his Mother and Wife; and those two Ladies obtained from him, what neither the Sacred College of Cardinals, nor the Pope himself, who were gone to meet him, could not obtain_. 146 Un Predicateur prèchant devant un grand Prince, qui avoit pris les Armes contre son Païs, il le compara à _Coriolan_, ce fameux Capitaine _Romain_, qui aprés avoir bien servi sa Patrie dans les Commencemens de la Republique, en fut banni. Et cette ingratitude lui toucha si fort au coeur, qu’il vint assieger _Rome_ avec les _Volsques_. _Ce grand Capitaine_, s’écria ce Predicateur, _Justement irrité de l’ingratitude de ses Compatriotes, ètoit en ètat d’en tirer une cruelle vengeance. Mais enfin il se laissa toucher par les Larmes de sa Mere & de sa Femme: & ces deux Dames obtinrent de lui ce que ni le sacré Collége des Cardinaux, ni le Pape mêmes, qui ètoient allez au devant de lui, n’avoient jamais pu obtenir_. At these Words the Prince fell a laughing, and could not forbear crying out to the Preacher, _Sir, you know not what you say, for in those times there were neither Popes nor Cardinals_. But the Preacher unconcern’d, stoutly maintain’d to the Prince, that he was under no mistake: _And for a Proof, my Lord_, added he, _of what I say, I my self have seen the History of it represented in a Sute of Tapistry, in a Castle of yours at such a place_. The Authority of that Tapistry brought in so pat, increased the Laughter. Which discompos’d the ignorant Preacher to that degree, that he duckt, as they call it, in the Pulpit, and went his way without making an end of his Sermon. Le Prince fit alors un éclat de rire, & ne put s’empécher de s’écrier, _Monsieur le Predicateur, vous ne savez pas ce que vous dites, il n’y avait en ce tems-là ni Papes ni Cardinaux_. Mais le Predicateur, sans s’étonner, soûtínt courageusement au Prince qu’il ne se trompoit pas. _Et pour marque_, Monseigneur, ajoûta t-il, _que ce que je vous dis est vray, c’est que j’ai veu cette Histoire representée dans une Tapisserie de votre Chasteau d’un tel Lieu_. l’Autorité de cette Tapisserie citée si à propos redoubla les éclats de rire, & l’ignorant Predicateur en fut si troublé qu’il fit, comme on dit, le Plongeon dans sa chaire, & s’enfuit au lieu d’achever son Sermon. 147 A Bishop entertaining several Prelates at Dinner, had a Side-board Table covered with a Set of large and fine Plate, made by the best Artists; and as his Brethren admir’d the Magnificence of it: _I bought it_, said he to them, _in order to relieve the Poor of my Diocese_: _My Lord_, answer’d one of the Prelates, _You might very well have sav’d them the making_. Giving him to understand by this answer, that he had purchas’d that Plate not so much out of Charity, as out of Pride and Vanity. 147 Un Evêque donnant à Diner à plusieurs Prelats, fit dresser un Buffet composé de beaux & grands Ouvrages d’argenterie, faits par les meilleurs Ouvriers. Et comme ses Confreres admiroient la magnificence de ce Buffet, _Je l’ai acheté_, leur dit-il, _à dessein d’en assister les Pauvres de mon Diocese: Monseigneur, lui repondit un de ces Prelats, vous auriez pû leur en épargner la façon_. Lui faisant entendre par cette réponse, que sa charité avoit eu moins de part que sa vanité & son luxe en l’achapt de cette Vaisselle. 148 A Monk going to preach about the Country, staid at Dinner with a poor Parson of a Country Town; But finding neither the Bread nor the Wine good enough to his Palate, he sent one to buy better, with other necessary Provisions to make a good Meal. As he sat at Table, he call’d for a Box full of Utensils Silver-gilt, which he us’d in his Travels. The Parson, amaz’d at his Magnificence, ask’d him, _Whether he had made his Vows_? _Yes sure_, answer’d the Preacher. _Then Father_, reply’d the Parson, _You and I could make a good Monk, for you have made a Vow of Poverty, and I observe it_. 148 Un Religieux allant prêcher par la Campagne, s’arrêta pour diner chez un pauvre Curé de Village; Mais ne trouvant pas le Pain ni le Vin assez bon, il en envoya achêter de meilleur, avec les autres Provisions nécessaires à faire un bon Repas. En se mettant à table il se fit apporter une Cassette, remplie d’Utensiles d’argent vermeil-doré, dont il se servoit dans ses Voyages. Le Curé, surpris de sa magnificence, lui demanda, _S’il avoit fait ses voeux_? _Oui, sans doute_: Répondit le Predicateur, _Mon Pere_, lui dit alors le Curé, _Nous ferions donc vous & moi un bon Religieux, Car vous avez fait le voeu de Pauvreté, & moy je l’observe_. 149 An _Italian_ Parson, _Il Piovano Arlotto_ by name, going through the City of _Naples_, went to pay his Respects to King _Alphonsus_, who was told by one of his Courtiers, that this Parson was a jocose sort of a Man, who freely and pleasantly deliver’d his Thoughts to Persons of the highest Quality, and had a Book wherein he used to write down all the Follies of the Chief Men in his time. The King, being disposed to be merry, _Messer_ Piovano, said he to him, _Am I set down in your Book_? You may see, answer’d _Piovano_, and having given him the Book, he found there amongst other things: _A Piece of Folly committed by_ Alphonsus _King of_ Naples, _in sending to_ Germany, _a_ German _that was in his Court, with two Thousand Ducats to buy him Horses_. How do you find that I have done amiss, said the King a little moved, in giving that Commission to a _German_? Why! answer’d _Piovano_, because he will stay in his own Country with your Money; What if he returns with Horses, or brings me my Money back again, what wilt thou say then? Said the King: _Well then_, replied _Piovano_, _I’ll blot your Name out of my Book, and put the_ German’s _instead on’t_. 149 Un Curé _Italien_ nommé _Il Piovano Arlotto_ passant par la ville de _Naples_, alla saluër le Roy _Alphonse_, qui apprit par un de ses Courtisans que ce Curé ètoit un homme plaisant, qui disoit librement & agréablement ce qu’il pensoit aux Personnes les plus élevées, & qu’il avoit un Livre où il écrivoit toutes les Fautes des Principaux de son tems. Le Roy, ètant d’humeur à rire, lui dit, _Messer Piovano, ne serois je point écrit sur vôtre livre_? Vous pouvez voir, repondit _Piovano_, & lui ayant donné le Livre, il y trouva entr’autres choses, _Faute faite par_ Alphonse _Roy de_ Naples, _d’avoir envoyé en_ Allemagne _un_ Allemand _qui ètoit en sa Cour pour lui acheter des Chevaux_. En quoi trouves tu que j’aye failli, dit le Roy un peu ému, de donner cette Commission à un _Allemand_? c’est, répondit _Piovano_, parce qu’il restera en son Païs avec vôtre argent; Et s’il revient avec des Chevaux, ou qu’il me rapporte mon argent, que diras tu alors? repartit le Roy: _Alors_, repliqua _Piovano_, je vous effacerai de mon _Livre, & j’y écrirai l’_Alemand _en vôtre_ place. 150 An _Italian_ Parson, one Day invited to Dinner _Il Piovano Arlotto_, with many other Parsons; and having a mind to shew his Wit, took these aside and told them, Gentlemen, ’tis my opinion that we should make our selves merry to Day with _Piovano_, who, you know, sets up for a jester, and drolls upon every Body; Being my Clark lies Sick, and that I no Body to wait on us, I will propose to draw Cuts, to see which of us shall go to the Cellar to draw the Wine, and wait on the Rest whilst they are at Dinner: And I will contrive it so, that it shall fall to _Piovano_’s Lot; which being thus concluded amongst them, was put in Execution accordingly. _Piovano_ smoak’d the Plot, and resolv’d to make his Host Repent it. Down he goes to the Cellar to fill the Bottles, whilst the others fell to, and being come up again with the Bottles, _You see, Gentlemen_, said he, _How I have perform’d what I had to do; let’s now draw Cuts to see which of us shall go down into the Cellar to stop the Hogs-heads I left running_. Now the Landlord talk’d no more of casting Lots, and knowing _Piovano_ to be a Man that would as soon do it, as say it, leaves presently his Dinner, and runs to the Cellar, where he finds his Vessels running, and part of his Wine spilt; which as he afterwards expostulated with _Piovano_, _You have no Reason to Complain of me, answer’d he, since I have punctually satisfied the Conditions of the Play, which indeed obliged me to draw the Wine and fill the Bottles, but not to stop the Vessels of a Host who entertains his Guests so scurvily_. 150 Un Curé _Italien_ invita un jour à diner _il Piovano Arlotto_ avec plusieurs autres Curez; & voulant faire le plaisant, il tira ceux-ci à part & leur dit: Messieurs, je suis d’avis que nous nous divertissions aujourd’huy aux Dépens de _Piovano_, qui comme vous savez, fait le bon Compagnon, & se moque de tout le Monde; Comme mon Clerc est malade, & que je n’ai personne pour nous servir, j’ai dessein de vous proposer de tirer à la courte Paille, pour voir lequel de nous ira à la Cave tirer le vin, & servir les autres pendant qu’ils dineront, & je ferai en sorte que le sort tombera sur _Piovano_, ce qui ayant été conclu entr’eux, fut executé. _Piovano_ s’apperceut du complot, & resolut d’en faire repentir son Hôte; il s’en va à la Cave remplir les Bouteilles pendant que les autres commençoient à diner, & étant remonté avec les Bouteilles, _Vouz voyez, Messieurs_, leur dit-il, _comme j’ai fait ce que le sort m’a ordonné; tirons presentement à la courte paille pour voir lequel de nous descendra à la Cave pour refermer les muids que j’ai laissez ouverts_. Alors le Maitre de la Maison ne parla plus de tirer au sort, & connoissant _Piovano_, pour être homme à l’avoir fait comme il le disoit, il quitta promtement son Diner, & courut à la Cave où il trouva ses Muids ouverts, & une partie de son vin perdu; dont il fit ensuite de fort grandes Plaintes à _Piovano_. _Vous n’avez pas raison de vous plaindre de Moy_, lui repondit il, _puisque j’ay satisfait ponctuellement au jeu, qui m’avoit bien ordonné d’aller tirer le vin, & de remplir les Bouteilles, Mais non pas de refermer les Muids d’un Hôte qui fait si mal les honneurs de sa Maison_. 151 A Courtier playing at Picket in a Gaming Ordinary, and finding by the Cards he took in, that he had discarded amiss, _I am a downright_ Goussaut, cry’d he. Now _Goussaut_ was the Name of a President, who was none of the greatest Wits of his Time; but who hapned to be there behind the Gamester, unperceived by him. This President nettled to hear himself quoted upon such an Occasion, told him, _He was a Coxcomb: You say right_, reply’d the Gamester, _that’s it I meant_. 151 Un Courtisan joüant au Piquet dans une Academie, & ayant reconnu par les Cartes qui lui rentroient, qu’il avoit mal écarté, il s’écria, _je suis un franc_ Goussaut; c’étoit le nom d’un President, qui ne passoit pas pour être des plus êclairez de son Tems, mais qui se trouva pour lors par hazard derriere le joüeur qui ne l’avoit pas aperceu. Ce President, se sentant offensé d’être cítè en cette occasion, lui dit, _qu’il ètoit un sot_: _Vous avez raison_, lui rèpondit le joüeur, _c’est cela mêmes que je voulois dire_. 152 _Marriage is Sometimes a Cure for Love._ _Clitander_ having seen by chance _Celimene_, stood both surprised and charm’d with her Beauty. However because she had but a very mean Fortune, and that he was Master of a vast Estate, he reflected upon an Engagement which he found no less strong, than Sudden. He had quite lost his Repose; he felt himself in continual agitation, and feared lest a Passion, so very violent in its first rise, should prompt him at last to gratify his Heart at the Expence of his Fortune. In order to banish so dangerous a Tenderness from his Heart, he went to serve a Campaign in _Flanders_, but came back deeper in Love than he was at his Departure. Then accusing his own Weakness, he made a second attempt and resolv’d to travel into _Italy_, but the Diversions of _Rome_, and the Carnaval of _Venice_, proved as useless as the Siege of _Namur_. _Clitander_ return’d more ardent and passionate than ever, and as his Friend _Philantes_ came to visit him, Dear _Philantes_, said he, I lead a lingring wretched Life; I cannot forget _Celimene_, I fancy her always present to my view with all her Charms. _At last_, added he, _at last I must marry her, to cease to love her_. He did so, and a Months Marriage chang’d his violent and boysterous Love into a gentle and quiet Friendship. 152 _Le Mariage est quelquefois un Remede contre l’Amour._ C_litandre_ ayant veu par hazard _Celimene_, il demeura surpris & charmé de sa beauté extraordinaire, Cependant comme elle n’avoit qu’un bien médiocre, & qu’il avoit des Richesses immenses, il fit Reflexion sur un engagement qu’il trouvoit bien prompt, & bien fort. Il n’avoit plus de repos: Il se sentoit continuellement agité, & il craignoit qu’une Passion qui ètoit si violente dés son commencement, ne le portât enfin à satisfaire son coeur au prejudice de sa Fortune. Pour bannir de son ame une tendresse si dangereuse il alla faire une Campagne en _Flandres_; mais il revint plus amoureux qu’il n’ètoit parti. Puis, s’accusant de Foiblesse, il fit un second effort & entreprit le voyage d’_Italie_; mais les Divertissemens de _Rome_, & le Carnaval de _Venise_ ne furent pas moins inutiles que le Siege de _Namur_. _Clitandre_ fut à son retour plus passionné que jamais, & comme son Ami _Philante_ fut lui rendre visite, Mon cher _Philante_, lui dit il, je traine une vie malheureuse; je ne puis oublier _Celimene_; je m’imagine qu’elle est toûjours devant mes yeux avec tous ses Charmes; _Enfin_, ajoûta-t-il, _enfin il faudra, que je l’épouse pour cesser de l’aimer_. Il l’épousa en effet, & un mois de Mariage changea son Amour violente & tumultueuse, en une Amitié douce & tranquille. 153 _Of the Queen of_ Spain _and her Parrots._ T_he Camerara Major_, or first Lady of Honour and Groom of the Stole, to the last Queen of _Spain_, was a Woman of a mighty sowr angry Humour, who took upon her rather to govern than to serve her Mistress; She mortally hated two Parrots, the Queen had brought along with her from _France_, because they could talk _French_. One Day her Majesty going abroad, the _Camerara_ took the Parrots from their keeper, wrung off their Necks in cold Blood, and then went her way. As soon as the Queen came home, she askt for her Parrots, that were her chief Diversion in a Countrey, where she scarce enjoyed any other. Her Women amaz’d, discover’d Surprize in their Faces, and not being able to answer a Word at first, confess’d the whole Matter at last. This struck her Heart; but she thought convenient to conceal her Resentment. Some time after, the _Camerara_ coming back, and seeing her Majesty calm enough, offered to kiss her Hands, as she us’d to do, but was receiv’d by the Queen with two great Boxes on the Ear. The Confusion of that haughty Woman, upon so sensible an Affront, can hardly be exprest; she went out in a Passion, and gathered all her Kindred and Relations: applied her self to the King, with a Train of Four hundred Ladies, and was so importunate with him for the Reparation of her Honour, that he was fain to come and ask the Queen her Reasons. _Sir_, replied readily that Ingenious Princess, _’twas but to save a Womans longing_. Do you then think two enough, Madam? answer’d the King; else, pray, let her have two Dozen. And as one Misfortune comes upon the neck of another, the _Camerara_ lost her place to boot. A well deserved Reward for such as keep not the Respect due to so Sacred Persons. 153 _De la Reine d’_Espagne _& de ses Perroquets._ La _Camerara Major_, ou la premiere Dame d’honneur, de la feuë Reine d’_Espagne_, ètoit une Femme d’une humeur chagrine & emportée, qui au lieu de servir sa Maitresse, se croyoit en droit de la gouverner: Elle haïssoit mortellement deux Perroquets que la Reine avoit apportez de _France_, parce qu ils parloient _François_. Un jour sa Majesté ètant sortie, la _Camerara_, prit les Perroquets de celle qui les gardoit, leur tordit le cou de sang froid, & s en alla. Aussi tôt que la Reine fut revenuë, elle demanda ses Perroquets, qui ètoient son plus grand divertissement, dans un Pays où elle n’en avoit guere d’autre; ses Femmes tout étonnées firent paroitre leur surprise sur leur Visage, & ne sachant d’abord que lui repondre, elles lui avoüerent enfin ce qui en ètoit. Cela lui perça le coeur, mais elle trouva à propos de cacher son ressentiment. Quelque tems aprés la _Camerara_ ètant de retour, & voyant sa Majesté assez calme, s’approcha d’elle pour lui baiser la main comme elle avoir accoutumé de faire, mais elle en fut receuë avec deux grands soufflets. A peine peut on exprimer la confusion qu’un affront si sensible donna à cette Femme superbe: Elle sortit toute en colere, & ramassant toutes ses Parentes & Alliées, elle s’en alla trouver le Roy avec une suite de quatre cens Dames, & lui demanda la Reparation de son honneur avec tant d’importunité, qu’ils se vit obligé d’aller chez la Reine, pour savoir ses Raisons. _Sire_, repliqua cette ingenieuse Princesse, _ce n’ètoit que pour faire passer une envie de Femmes_: Est-ce donc assez de deux, Madame, repondit le Roy: Autrement, je vous prie, appliquez lui en deux douzaines. Et comme un malheur ne vient jamais seule la _Camerara_ perdit sa place sur le Marché. Digne recompense de ceux qui perdent le respect qui est dû à des Personnes si augustes. 154 _Of an Old Impotent Lord._ An Old Lord fell in Love with a young Gentlewoman that waited upon his Lady: The Frailty which is pretty common in Waiting-women, being happily supported by the Defects of an Old Man, she found strength enough in her self to resist his Sollicitations: Moreover, she told her Lady of it, and confirm’d by a Shower of Tears those Proofs of her Chastity. It is not possible, Madam, said she, for me to bear it any longer: What does my Lord make of me? And how can he have the Thoughts that I can be wanting in my Duty, either to your Ladiship, or to my Honour? If he goes on at this rate, I beseech your Ladiship to let me be gone. The good Lady very much incensed against her Husband, and no less pleas’d with her Woman’s Honesty, told her, Child never trouble thy self, neither think of leaving me, as long as thou art assured of my kindness to thee. Then Madam, return’d she, be so kind as to free me from my Lord’s Persecutions. Well, _said the Lady_, there comes now in my Thoughts an expedient very fit for that purpose: Thou must dissemble a kindness for him, and afterwards give him an Assignation in thy Chamber. I, Madam, give him an Assignation? said the Waiting-woman. Hear me out, replied the Lady, When thou hast set the time, and left the Door open, I’ll go in thy place into thy Bed, and thou shalt slip into my Room, and then, when he comes, I’ll make him so asham’d, that he’ll have no more Thoughts of tormenting thee. The Waiting-woman perform’d with care her Lady’s Orders: And the Night being come, the old Dotard crept into the Chamber, and eagerly went to that Bed where his Wife waited for his coming. She did not think it convenient to quarrel with him at first; but this Adventure being carried on more chastly than she had expected, she grew weary on’t, and resolv’d to give her Tongue its liberty, _What! is it only for this_, said she, _that you have been at so much pains_? The Husband acknowledging his Error by his Wife’s Voice, _I vow, Madam_, said he, _my Body has been wiser than my Mind, for it has known you, when my blinded Mind took you for a handsom Maid_. _D’un vieux Seigneur Impuissant._ 154 Un vieux Seigneur devint amoureux d’une jeune Demoiselle qui servoit sa Femme: La Fragilité qui est assez ordinaire aux Suivantes se trouvant heureusement soutenuë par les defagrémens du Vieillard, Elle eut assez de force pour resister à ses Sollicitations: Elle en avertit même sa Maitresse, & confirma par ses larmes ces Temoignagnes de sa Chasteté. Il n’est pas possible, Madame, lui dit elle, que je souffre davantage: Pour qui me prend Monsieur? Et comment peut-il me croire capable de manquer à ce que je dois & à vous, & à mon honneur? S’il continuë, je vous supplie de me permettre de me retirer. La bonne Dame fort piquée contre son Mari, & trés contente de l’honnêteté de sa Suivante, lui dit, Ma fille, ne te mets point en peine, il ne faut pas que tu songes à me quitter, ètant si asseurée que tu l’es de mon Amitié. Il faut donc, Madame, reprit-elle, que vous me delivriez des Persecutions de Monsieur. Hè bien, lui dit la Dame, il me vient dans l’esprit un expedient fort propre pour cela: Il faut que tu fasses semblant de t’addoueir pour lui, & qu’ensuite tu lui donnes la nuit un Rendez-vous dans ta Chambre. Moy, Madame, lui donner un Rendez-vous? lui dit la Demoiselle; écoute jusqu’áu bout ce que j’ai à te dire, repliqua la Dame: Quand tu lui auras donné l’heure, & laissé la Porte ouverte, j’irai en ta place dans ton lit & tu passeras dans ma Chambre, & alors quand il viendra je lui ferai tant de honte qu’il n’aura plus l’envie de te tourmenter. La suivante executa avec soin les ordres de sa Maitresse: la nuit venuë, le vieillard amoureux se glissa dans sa Chambre, & alla avec empressement dans le lit où sa Femme l’attendoit. Elle ne jugea pas à propos de le quereller d’abord, mais comme cette avanture se passoit plus chastement qu’elle ne s’y ètoit attenduë, elle s’en ennuya, & se resolut enfin de parler: _Quoy! n’est-ce donc que pour cela_, lui dit elle, _que vous vous êtes donné tant de peine_? Le Mari reconnut alors son erreur & la voix de sa Femme, _Je vous avouë, Madame_, lui dit-il, _que mon Corps est plus sage que mon Esprit, car il vous a reconnuë, & mon Esprit aveugle vous prenoit pour une jolie fille_. 155 _The Widow Exchange._ A Young Lady having lately buried her Husband, whom she call’d _Old Simon_, ordered a Carver to make her a Statue of Wood, as near his Figure as he could, which was laid by her Side every Night in remembrance of him. In the mean time, a young Gentleman that had a great Passion for her, by the Intercession of some Guineas, prevail’d with her Maid to lay him one Night in the place of _Old Simon_. The Widow went to Bed, and after her usual manner cast her Arms over her dear Husband’s Statue, and finding it very warm, she crept closer and closer to it, till at length they came very close together, by which she perceiv’d it was not her Wooden Bed Fellow. In the Morning the Maid call’d at her Chamber-door, as she us’d to do, Madam, What will you please to have for Dinner? She reply’d, Rost the Turky that was brought in Yesterday, Boil a Leg of Mutton and Colley-flowers, and get a good Dish of Fruit. Madam, says the Maid, we have not Wood enough to dress so much Meat. _If not_, reply’d she, _you may burn_ Old Simon. 155 _Le Troc de la Veuve._ Une jeune Dame, qui venoit d’enterrer son Mari, qu’elle appelloit le vieux _Simon_, commanda à un Statuaire de lui faire une Statuë de Bois aussi ressemblante qu’il pourroit, laquelle elle faisoit mettre toutes les nuits à son côté, pour se souvenir de lui. Cependant un jeune Gentilhomme qui l’aimoit passionnément, gagna si bien sa Servante par l’entremise de ses Guinées, qu’elle le mit une nuit en la place du vieux _Simon_. La Veuve s’alla coucher, & selon sa coutume embrassa la Statuë de son cher Mari, & la trouvant fort chaude, elle s’en approcha davantage, jusqu’à ce que s’ètant embrassez fort étroitement, elle s’apperceut que ce n’ètoit point son homme de Bois. La Matin, sa Servante vint à la porte de la Chambre selon sa coutume, & lui demanda ce qu’elle souhaitoit avoir à diner? A quoi elle répondit, Fais rotir le Dindon qu’on apporta hier, & bouillir un Gigot de Mouton avec des choux fleurs, & achete nous un bon plat de Fruit, Madame, dit la Servante, nous n’avons pas assez de Bois pour apprêter tant de Viandes. _Et bien_, repliqua-t-elle, _vous n’avez qu’à bruler le vieux_ Simon. 156 _The Foolish Confession._ A Simple Fellow in _Lombardy_, had a great Love to a young Maid, as he thought she was, and that they might live peaceably and quietly together, he thought of this Expedient; one day he told her, that it was his full intent to marry her, and to prevent future Quarrels, he said, he would tell her all the Secrets of his Heart, that their Alliance might be the stronger. Among many other things, he told her, That in the Heat of his Youth, he got a Son on a Friend of his, which Friend was yet living, and desir’d her not to take it amiss. No, no, said she, I am very well pleas’d, for a Friend of mine got me with Child, and it is a Daughter; and if you intend to fortify our Alliance, it may be done with another Marriage, between your Son and my Daughter. 156 _L’aveu Indiscret._ Un Idiot en _Lombardie_, ètoit fort amoureux d’une Fille qu’il croyoit être Pucelle; & afin de vivre en paix & en bonne amitié avec elle, il s’avisa de cét expedient; un jour il lui dit qu’il avoit resolu de l’épouser, & que pour éviter toutes sortes de querelles à l’avenir, il vouloit lui dire tous ses Secrets, afin de rendre par la leur Alliance plus ferme: Entre autres choses, il lui dit, que dans la Chaleur de sa jeunesse il avoit fait un Garçon à une de ses amies, laquelle ètoit encore en vie, & qu’il la prioit que cela ne lui fit point de peine. Non, non, dit elle, j’en suis fort contente, car un de mes Amis m’a fait une Fille, & si vous voulez fortifier nôtre Alliance, nous pouvons le faire par un autre Mariage de vôtre Fils avec ma Fille. 157 _The_ Gascon _punish’d._ A Young Widow, rich and beautiful, was belov’d by a young _Gascon_; both poor and proud. This _Gascon_ had a mind to be thought very intimate with the Lady, and boasted of more Favours than he receiv’d. The Lady, who lov’d to be Merry, resolv’d to punish him for it after a new manner: I know, said she to him, you have an Affection for me, and doubt not but you will give me proofs of it upon an Occasion that now offers it self. The _Gascon_ assur’d her he was ready to do any thing to serve her. You know, added the Widow, such a Lady of my Acquaintance, who has a Cross and Jealous Man to her Husband, that will never give her leave to lie abroad; now it is necessary, for some private Reasons, that she should lie with me to Night; and what I desire of you, is to lie in her place, that her Husband, who will come home late, finding you in his Bed, may take you to be his Wife: And as he rises earlier than she, to go about his Business, he will take no notice of any thing; for though he be Jealous of his Wife, he seldom disturbs her Rest at Night. The _Gascon_ consented to every thing, and suffer’d himself to be carried to his Mistress’s Friend; they dress’d his Head in Womens Night-Cloaths, and afterwards he laid himself in the Bed of the Jealous Husband, who the young Lady knew would not be at home that Night. The two Ladies left the _Gascon_ alone in Bed, and a little while after the young Widow came in in her Night Gown, and without a Light, and went to Bed to him. The _Gascon_, who took her for the Jealous Husband, was in great Pain and Trouble; he lay extreamly close, and turning his Back to the young Widow, put himself as near the other side of the Bed as possible. Thus he spent a whole Night more restless and uneasy than any in his Life, being still apprehensive of some preposterous Caresses from the Jealous Husband; but his Trouble increas’d when at break of Day, the young Widow rung a Bell, at the noise of which he heard some body coming into the Room; he cover’d his Head with the Bed-Cloaths, and such was his fear of being known, that he wish’d he could have buried himself in the Bed. Now ’twas the Widow’s Friend that came in, and open’d the Curtains, and at that very instant the Widow rose from Bed adorn’d with all her natural Beauties, which made almost the _Gascon_ die with Regret, Spite, and Shame, for making such ill use of so favourable a Night. _FINIS._ 157 _Le_ Gascon _puni._ Une jeune Veuve belle & riche, ètoit aimée par un jeune _Gascon_, pauvre & presomptueux. Ce _Gascon_ vouloit qu’on crut qu’il ètoit fort bien avec cette Dame, & divulguoit beaucoup plus de faveurs qu’il n’en recevoit. La Dame qui ètoit d’une humeur enjoüée & plaisante, resolut de l’en punir d’une maniere nouvelle: Je sai, lui dit elle, que vous avez de l’Affection pour moy, & je suis persuadée que vous voudrez bien m’en donner des Marques dans une Occasion qui se presente; le _Gascon_ lui temoigna étre prêt à tout faire pour son Service; vous connoissez, ajoûta la veuve, une telle Dame de mes amies, qui a un Mari jaloux & fort incommode, & qui ne lui permet pas de coucher hors de chez lui, cependant il est nécessaire, pour des Raisons particulieres, qu’elle couche ce soir chez moy, & ce que je desire de vous est que vous ailliez vous coucher en sa place, afin que son Mari, qui ne reviendra que tard, vous trouvant dans son lit croye que c’est sa Femme; & comme il se leve de meilleur matin qu’elle pour aller à ses Affaires, il ne s’appercevra de rien, car quoy qu’il soit fort jaloux de sa Femme, il n’a pas accoutumé de troubler son repos durant la nuit. Le _Gascon_ aprés avoir consenti à tout ce qu’elle voulut, se laissa mener chez l’Amie de sa Maitresse; on lui mit une coiffure de nuit telle que les Femmes en portent, & il se mit ensuite dans le lit du Mari jaloux qui ètoit absent, & que la jeune Veuve savoit bien ne devoir pas revenir ce soir là: les deux Amies laisserent le _Gascon_ seul dans ce lit, & quelque tems aprés la jeune Veuve entra en Robbe de Chambre, & sans lumiere, & alla se coucher auprés de lui. Le _Gascon_ qui la prenoit pour le Mari jaloux, ètoit en une peine extreme; il tenoit fort peu de place, & tournant le dos à la jeune Veuve, il s’ètoit mis le plus prés qu’il avoit pû de l’autre bord du lit. Il passa de cette sorte une nuit la plus in quiete qu’il eût jamais euë, apprehendant toûjours quelques Caresses à contre tems du Mari jaloux, mais sa peine fut encore plus grande, lorsque le jour comçant à paroitre, la jeune Veuve prit une sonnette au bruit de laquelle il entendit qu’il entroit quelqu’un dans la Chambre; il se couvrit la tête avec la Couverture, & auroit voulu s’abimer dans le lit, tant il avoit peur d’être connu. Ce fut l’Amie de la Veuve qui entra & qui ouvrit les rideaux du lit, d’où la veuve sortit aussitôt parée de toutes ses beautez naturelles, qui penserent faire mourir le _Gascon_ de regret, de depit, & de honte d’avoir fait un si mauvais usage d’une si belle nuit. _FINIS._ _BOOKS printed for_ Thomas Newborough _and_ John Nicholson. The Compleat _French_-Master, for Ladies and Gentlemen. Containing, I. A New Methodical _French_ Grammar. II. A Large and Copious Vocabulary. III. Familiar Phrases, with the Niceties of the _French_ Tongue. IV. Familiar Dialogues. V. Dialogues of Wit and Humour, upon Love, and other Subjects. The Six last done out of _Spanish_. By Mr. _Savage_. For the use of His Highness, the Duke of _Glocester_. By Mr. _Boyer_, Author of the _Royal Dictionary_. The Second Edition, Corrected and much Enlarged. The History of the Buccaneers of _America_: From their first Original down to this Time. Written in several Languages, and now Collected into one Volume. The Whole newly Translated into _English_, and Illustrated with Twenty five Copper Plates. _Octavo._ A new Survey of the _West-Indies_, being a Journal of Three thousand and three hundred Miles within the Main Land of _America_. By _Tho. Gage_, the only Protestant that was ever known to have Travell’d those Parts. The Fourth Edition enlarg’d by the Author. With an Accurate Map. _Octavo._ The History of _Portugal_; from the first Ages of the World to the late Revolution, under King _John_ the Fourth, in the Year 1640. Written in _Spanish_ by _Emanuel de Faria y’ Souso_, Knight of the Order of Christ. Translated and continued down to this Year, by Capt. _John Stevens_. _Octavo._ _There is in the Press, and will be speedily Published_, A Dictionary of the _Roman_ and _Greek_ Antiquities. Written by _Peter Danett_ for the use of the _Dauphin_, Duke of _Burgundy_, _Anjou_ and _Berry_. Translated into _English_ for the use of Schools. TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE Original spelling and grammar have generally been retained, with some exceptions noted below. This fact is especially noteworthy herein, as this book exhibits great variety in spelling and grammar, and much of it differs greatly from modern usage. There are many variations that may be regarded as probable typographical errors, which nevertheless have been retained. Original _ſ_ (now Unicode U+17f) has been changed to _s_ throughout; and original _ß_ (U+df) have been changed to _ss_. Original italics look _like this_. The transcriber produced the cover image and hereby assigns it to the public domain. Scanned images of the original pages are available from archive.org — search for “wiseingeniouscom00boye”. The original pagination has been discarded. The book was comprised of English text on verso (left-hand) pages, and corresponding French text on recto (right-hand) pages. The pagination was unusual, in that the first printed page of the book — the English title page — occurred on a verso page. This page was unnumbered, but shall be counted in this discussion as page i. Page ii displayed the French title page. A Prefatory Introduction started on page iii, verso. The last page of introductory material fell on page xiv, recto. The first chapter, The Apophthegms of the Ancients, fell on the first numbered page (1), verso. This ebook cannot retain the verso/recto arrangement. In this edition, the English text is generally aligned to the left margin while French text is indented four spaces right. Paragraphs of French text have been moved from their original locations to follow directly the corresponding paragraphs of English text. Paragraphs originally broken at page _n_ and continued on page _n+2_ are reunited. Page vii. The phrase “Proper, and and the” was changed to “Proper, and the”. Page 11 ¶16. Changed “borc” to “bore”. Page 20 ¶26. In “j’ay défait Hannibal” (as shown in this transcription), the acute accent over the e looked more like “ẻ” (U+1ebb latin small letter e with hook above) in the original print. Page 34 ¶51. “marié ees Mots” to “marié ces Mots”. Page 35 ¶57. “aswered” to “answered”. Page 65 ¶119. “Clock is too Cold” to “Cloak is too Cold”. Page 86 ¶161. Paragraph heading changed from 162 to 161. Page 88 ¶165. Paragraph heading changed from 164 to 165. Page 98 ¶184. “sou utilité” to “son utilité”. Page 130 ¶7. “Grand d’_Espapne_” to “Grand d’_Espagne_”. Page 132 ¶11. “Epitapnes” to “Epitaphes”. Page 136 ¶21. “fott” to “fort”. Page 138 ¶23. “blesla” to “blessa”. Page 143 ¶35; “Humlity” to “Humility”. Page 148 ¶41; “demeurent au dessous” to “demeurent au dessus”. Page 152 ¶51; “uomment” to “nomment”. Page 152 ¶54; “lni” to “lui”. Page 155 ¶60; “Archqishop” to “Archbishop”. Page 161 ¶71; “difficujty” to “difficulty”. Page 165 ¶75; “qu’ll desiroit” to “qu’il desiroit”. Page 170 ¶87; “chacum” to “chacun”. Page 200 ¶135; “l’ Fglise” to “l’ Eglise”. Page 202 ¶136; “Contumes” to “Coutumes”. Page 223 ¶154; “Ladi-” to “Ladiship”. Page 230 ¶156; “nous pouvous” to “nous pouvons”. *** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WISE AND INGENIOUS COMPANION, FRENCH AND ENGLISH; *** Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed. 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