She sat in the shade, for she feared that the light
Would bring to her vision that horrible sight,
A female with vertebral column askew,
And now as she sat here she dreaded the view.
But at the next moment a thought bright as fire,
Seemed to burn in her eyes and to chase away ire;
She rose, in a tremor of joy, from the gloom,
And opening the shutters, made bright the whole room.
[18]
She then all at once did proceed, with a rush,
To fasten a pillow, with cheeks all a-flush,
Just under her skirt, quite behind at the back,
And then she donned quickly a hat and a sack—
Seized quicker a parasol; then without fear,
She faced the long mirror with eyes all a-cheer
With some inspiration, that strangely did lend
To a spine badly bent an additional bend.
[19]
Pray what was she doing? you ask, all amazed,
Perhaps you imagine the girl was quite crazed,
Or trying a cure—and that’s madness enough—
With “similia similibus” ideas and such stuff.
Oh, no! my dear Reader; she’s simply intent
On proving in practice the worth of a bent,
Which entered her mind a few moments ago,
And set all her brain and her heart in a glow.
[20]
In short, all creations of genius, you know,
Originate, so they say, always just so;
Quite all of a sudden, undreamt of, they’re born
In the brain which seeks after to give them a form.
The form which our heroine sought now to give
To her noble creation was, sure as I live,
A crook in the back and a crook in the arm,
And with these same crooks she means yet to charm
[21]
Her circle of former admirers and friends,
And, after a ripe preparation, intends
To make her “début” in a style very new,
Unknown to the crowd or e’en the rare few.
Oh, view her, as now she continues to pass
Up and down, while she studies herself in the glass!
With parasol raised very high in the air,
And spine really taking a curve, I declare,
[22]
Exceeding by far the long crook that disease
Had wrought there in hours void of rest and of ease,
And yet, I assure you, her face glows with smiles,
While practicing poses the hours she beguiles.
But while I still watched her, a cloud thin as air,
Passed over the features that now seemed so fair;
With eyes on the mirror, I heard her exclaim,
“Oh! dear me! oh! dear me! I’ve lost it again.”
[23]
She takes a new bend—then cries, “That’s not it!”
Here, dear reader mine, she was seized with a fit
Of abdominal colic, which only did serve
To add, you perceive, to her back a new curve.
The full extra curve produced by the pain,
Brought strangely the smiles to her features again;
She cried, “Oh! kind Providence surely did send
This spasm to give me the ‘true Grecian bend!’
[24]
“The ‘true Grecian bend!’ here, here is a name
Which soon will acquire a most glorious fame!
It hides my poor hump altogether, you see,
And a leader of fashion again I will be!”
Since the colic referred to, by Providence sent,
Two weeks had gone by, and our damsel had bent
Whatever of strength she possessed to attain
The “true Grecian bend,” and it was not in vain.
[25]
The day now arrived for the startling “début,”
And our heroine smiling emerged to the view
Of the Boulevards, where “tout le monde” in a maze
At the strange apparatus in wonder did gaze.
This strange apparatus, as I before said,
Perched on heels that supported a hump on the head,
A hump on the back and a crook in the arm
Presented a vision entitled to charm
[26]
The eyes of all artists; for sure ’tis their duty
To recognize always the true curve of beauty;
And who can deny that here was a curve
Sufficiently curving as model to serve?
The world, as I said, at first in a maze,
With sneers at the strange apparatus did gaze;
But when this same world at last did discover
The “strange apparatus” was she, and no other,
[27]
Who only last year the gay fashion did lead,
And lived on the Boulevard Malesherbes indeed!
They suddenly found that her present strange style
Was but a new fashion she’d set all the while.
Upon the discovery that, without doubt,
The humps and the crooks were “the latest out;”
With common accord the dear feminine gender,
At once set to work in trying to render
[28]
Themselves in appearance as near as could be,
To her who was now all the fashion, you see.
So where only yesterday out on the street
But one crooked female you might chance to meet,
To-day there existed a hundred at least,
Who made up a pantomime, truly a feast
Of color and form, to him who delights
In fine graceful contours and that sort of sights;
[29]
And yet it is proper that I should confess
(For to know “what is what” I did never profess),
The sight of curved females at first raised a question
Which seemed to me worthy some solid reflection.
The question was this: if ’tis true as averred,
Human origin may to the ape be referred,
Then we are now turning, I boldly declare,
To monkeys again. Pray look at the air
[30]
Of that monkey the organ-man carries about.
Gaze but a short moment and you will find out
When standing, his back just describes the outline
Of that fashionable female, in garments so fine.
Does not this resemblance, oh, tell me, I pray,
’Twixt apes and the fashionable dames of to-day,
Suggest to your mind the identical question,
Which seemed to me worthy some solid reflection?