Title: A thoughtless seven
Author: Amy Le Feuvre
Illustrator: William H. C. Groome
Release date: March 27, 2025 [eBook #75734]
Language: English
Original publication: London: The Religious Tract Society, 1904
Transcriber's note: Unusual and inconsistent spelling is as printed.
THE BOYS AND SHE WERE AT DAGGERS DRAWN.
BY
AMY LE FEUVRE
AUTHOR OF "PROBABLE SONS," "TEDDY'S BUTTON," "ODD,"
"ERIC'S GOOD NEWS," "A PUZZLING PAIR," ETC.
WITH TWENTY-SEVEN ILLUSTRATIONS.
LONDON
THE RELIGIOUS TRACT SOCIETY
4 Bouverie Street and 65 St. Paul's Churchyard E.C.
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
A Bit of Rough Road. | Miss Lavender's Boy, and
Heather's Mistress. | Other Sketches.
The Mender. | Me and Nobbles.
Odd made Even. A sequel | Odd.
to "Odd." | A Puzzling Pair.
The Carved Cupboard. | His Little Daughter.
On the Edge of a Moor. | Bulbs and Blossoms.
Dwell Deep; or, Hilda | Bunny's Friends.
Thorn's Life Story. | Eric's Good News.
Jill's Red Bag. | Probable Sons.
Legend Led. | Teddy's Button.
A Little Maid. |
LONDON: THE RELIGIOUS TRACT SOCIETY
CONTENTS
————
CHAP.
A THOUGHTLESS SEVEN
Thoughtless
"SHE'S a good old soul in her way; but we are not infants in the nursery, and will manage a jolly sight better without her."
"And we'll have a good fling while we are about it, I say. For she said she would be back in a week."
"I shall do my best to keep order at mealtimes, of course; but I shan't be hard on you the rest of the day. Now, Doodle-doo, leave that cushion alone. Remember what the last one did."
It was Sunday afternoon, and we were all enjoying ourselves in the schoolroom upstairs. Dinner was over; there was a deluge of rain coming down; and the blazing fire and a bag of chestnuts were keeping us busy. It is needless to say that we were not sitting up in chairs in the orthodox fashion. Pat, the eldest of us, in his eighteenth year, was reposing full length on our shabby old couch; Taters was astride on one end of it; Honey was seated on the coal-scuttle, her feet inside the fender; and Thunder and I were lying flat on the hearthrug; whilst Doodle-doo was changing his position every minute, and trying to make every one else do the same.
Lest our names should be thought queer ones, I should explain that they were of our own coining; our baptismal ones were too respectable to find favour in our eyes. I went by the brief synonym of "Li," or "Lightning," as Thunder and I invariably did things together; and I certainly outdid them all in swiftness of thought and action.
I BROUGHT DOWN THE TABLECLOTH TO THE GROUND.
We had just recovered from scarlet fever; our parents were abroad, and our good old German governess had suddenly been summoned home to a dying mother. Nurse was with us, of course; but Pixie, a delicate little fellow of six, who had fared the worst of us all in the fever, took up much of her time and attention, and we elder ones had long ago escaped and defiee her rule.
"Throw us another nut," Pat demanded.
I threw, aiming with such exact precision at his nose, that with a yell he sprang up and gave chase to me round the table. Round and round we spun, until I brought down the table-cloth to the ground, and with it a china flower-pot of mignonette.
That sobered us, and we took up our former position again, Honey remarking, "I'm sure we ought to be better employed on Sunday afternoon than making such a row. Why don't some of you get a book to read?"
"I've read all the Sunday books again and again," I said with a sigh, for books were my delight.
"No one can keep pace with Li," observed Taters thoughtfully, as she left her seat to put another chestnut on the bars; "why don't you start reading the Bible? That would take you a few Sundays to get through."
I stared at her. "The Bible! Why, no one reads that for the sake of reading."
"What's the good of it, then?" demanded Taters, who was nothing if she was not argumentative.
"To preach from, of course," put in Doodle-doo; "and if I had the chance, I wouldn't give such rotten sermons out of it as we heard this morning."
"Well, come on; give us a sermon, if you are so good at it. We'll give you a chance, and a text too. Find him one, Li; there's a Bible on the bookshelf."
I found the Bible that Pat indicated, opened it in a hurry, and called out the first words that met my eye—"'One thing thou lackest.'"
Honey looked up gravely and sweetly. "You're not to make fun, Doodle-doo," she said.
Doodle-doo held himself erect, and ruffled his cock's-comb, as we called it, in the importance of his position.
"Ahem!" he began. "My sermon will be brief, but to the point. Pat, one thing thou lackest—'tis control of thy beastly temper. Honey, one thing thou lackest—'tis female tidiness. Taters, one thing thou lackest—'tis the knowledge that thou art an ignoramus. Thunder, one thing thou lackest—'tis a light and contented spirit. Lightning, one thing thou lackest—'tis patient perseverance."
"And, Doodle-doo, one thing thou lackest," I put in hastily—"'tis the art of keeping thy cackling voice still."
"Well, young people, what is the discussion?"
We turned round, and found that Miss Moffat from next door had quietly opened the door and come in amongst us. She was a little old maid whom we all loved. All through our illness she had been in and out, changing her dress most carefully each time to avoid spreading the infection. Books and fruit had been plentifully supplied, and we were not surprised to see her hands full of books and papers now.
"A little Sunday reading, my dears. I thought you might be in want of some. Are you telling each other of your faults, may I ask?"
"Doodle-doo is trying to preach," Tater said, her snub nose well in the air; "but his crows, like those of his namesake, are about nothing at all."
"And what is the subject?"
"'One thing thou lackest,' was the text I gave him," I said glibly. "Don't look so shocked, Miss Moffat; we weren't making fun of it."
"It is a solemn verse to take up so lightly," said our friend gravely. "Do you know the occasion of our Lord's saying those words?"
"Yes. Don't preach to us, there's a good soul;" and Pat threw up his long arms and stretched himself with a terrific yawn.
"I am on my way to read to a blind woman," said Miss Moffitt briskly; "there are your books."
Then looking over her spectacles at us in her quaint, sweet way, she said—
"There is 'one thing lacking' with each one of you boys and girls. Try and find it out for yourselves, and let me know when you succeed in getting it. I should not like to see any of you one day 'weighed in the balances and found wanting.'"
And then she left us.
There was silence for a few minutes; we were busy distributing the literature which had been brought us.
Then Thunder observed, knitting his black brows into a heavier frown than usual—
"I shouldn't have thought little Moffat was a religious person; but you can never see through a woman—they're always up to artful dodges."
"She isn't religious," Doodle-doo said; "she only wanted to add force to my little preach."
"Shut up," said Pat, giving a kick at him as he passed the sofa; "my 'beastly temper' won't stand a word more from you."
"She's not a goody person, nor a prig," argued Taters, "so she can't be religious; and her face is as round and ruddy as an apple."
"What is a religious person?" I asked. "I don't mean a hypocrite, but a real true one. What do they believe that we don't believe? Why should it be such an awfully canty thing to be good?"
"Are you going to try it, Li?"
"I sometimes think," said Honey meditatively, as she deliberately poked her slippered foot into the red-hot embers and stirred them into a blaze, "that after all 'we' may be the hypocrites. What did we kneel down and pray for in church this morning?—'Grant that we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life.' We haven't the smallest intention of doing it."
"Don't talk rot!" was Pat's response to this.
And, turning to our books, we dropped the subject.
Thinking
"WHAT'S the row with old Li?"
"Give her a pinch, Thunder; she's half asleep."
"She's planning some fiendish trick, I bet."
We were at breakfast, and Honey, who was pouring out the coffee, looked
across at me curiously after these remarks.
"She was talking in her sleep last night, and jumping about like a
dancing doll; I expect the chestnuts gave her indigestion."
"Rubbish!" I said quickly. "If you had had the horrible dreams I had, you wouldn't feel very spry in the morning. It was awful; I didn't sleep a wink."
"Li is a wonder," said Pat admiringly; "she dreams wide awake, and eats her breakfast fast asleep."
I was about to retort angrily, when the door opened, and nurse appeared with Pixie. The seven years between him and Taters made him appear a perfect baby to us, and we all petted him accordingly. He was a pale, fragile little fellow, with a quaintness and courage all his own; but in spite of his old-fashioned talk, he was a thorough child.
"I want one of you young ladies to take Master Lionel out this morning; it's my busy day," announced nurse.
"All right; I'll take him," said I.
"Don't walk him off his legs, and bring him in before twelve o'clock."
Saying which, nurse departed; and we began to make our plans for the day. Pat and Doodle-doo were going out on their bicycles, Taters and Honey out shopping, and, after a little persuasion, Thunder said he would come to the common with Pixie and me. Our house was in a London suburb; but the common stretched away to green fields and lanes, and was a favourite resort of ours.
Pixie, as usual, was full of talk, and beguiled the way by his extraordinary questions and ideas.
It was a bright sunny morning, and wonderfully mild for the time of year; so when we arrived at the common, Thunder and I rested on one of the seats, whilst Pixie played about.
"I wonder when Pater will write and suggest a change of air for us!" grumbled Thunder. "We ought to go off to the sea or somewhere! I don't think I shall ever be the same again as I was before that rotten fever! I'm quite fagged out now with this bit of a walk!"
"Fancy if one of us had died!" I said lugubriously; for Thunder's remarks were never cheering, and I did not feel in a mood to comfort him. "You or I might have. If we had, I wonder what we should have been doing now?"
Thunder's black brows scowled. "You needn't have such dismal fancies!"
"Well, but," I persisted, "I half think I may be going to die; for I had such awful dreams last night! I can't help feeling they were warnings."
"What were they like?"
"I kept feeling myself in a pair of scales, and I couldn't make myself heavy enough to keep down—I would swing up in the air! I clutched hold of the sides of the scale, and pressed down with my whole weight, but it was no good, and all the time a voice kept repeating, like the tick of a clock, 'Weighed in the balances and found wanting! One thing thou lackest!' I woke up in an awful fright, and couldn't get to sleep for ages, and when I did, I dreamt again, that I was running for my life away from Miss Moffat, who, brandishing a red-hot poker close to my eyes, was shrieking out, 'One thing thou lackest!'"
Thunder laughed.
I added seriously, "We're a wicked lot, and I'm really and truly going to find out the one thing lacking with me. I won't stand another night like last night. What is it, Pixie?"
"DID HE SEE ME JUST NOW WHEN I WAS PLAYING?"
He was standing before us with troubled eyes.
"Is God looking out of the sky this morning?"
"I suppose so," I said; "Why?"
"Did He see me just now, when I was playing at killing a snake?"
"What have you been doing?" I asked severely.
"I've cut one of God's dear little worms into two pieces! Will He be angry?"
"Go and stick them together again!" laughed Thunder.
But tears were very near the surface with Pixie, and clasping his hands, he went on—
"I was going to be 'such' a good boy to-day, and I didn't really mean to kill the little worm with my stick—it was too soft! Will God forgive me, do you think?"
"Of course He will," I said impatiently; "you didn't mean to do it." Then, with a change of tone, I said, "Will you go to heaven if you die, Pixie?"
He looked at me, then nodded. "Jesus loves Pixie, and Pixie wants to go to Him in heaven very much sometimes!"
He ran away to play, and I said with a sigh, "He has got what we haven't. I shouldn't go to heaven if I died; neither would you, old Thun! Fancy the difference between Pixie's conscience and ours, if he thinks cutting a worm in two an awful sin!"
Thunder remained silent for a little; then he said—
"Being religious won't suit you, Li; don't you try it! You could never keep up being a prig, if you started!"
"Look here!" I said warmly. "I don't intend being a prig; but if I like to turn religious I shall, and no one shall stop me!"
I jumped up from the seat, and started running races with Pixie, whilst Thunder whipped out a thrilling tale from his pocket, and sat on reading till it was time to go home. I laughed and talked my loudest for the rest of the day; but I was miserable. "One thing thou lackest," rang in my ears. And at last, after our evening meal was over, I slipped away from all the noise and laughter in the schoolroom, and went down to the dining-room, where a bright fire was blazing. Then, taking hold of a Bible I found there, I drew up a chair to the fire, and commenced studying the story of the young man who lacked the one thing.
"I suppose," I said to myself, "that his fault was not following Christ; but it must be awfully difficult to lead a good life! I suppose if I was to start I should have to say prayers half an hour long, and be always reading the Bible, which is so dry. I should have to give up all fun, and story-books, and fighting with the boys; and then they'd all hate me, and vote me a prig! Oh, I couldn't do it! It would be as dull as ditch water! Yet I do want, oh, I do want to be sure of heaven! I know I'm not right; I know I'm awfully wicked. If only God would turn me suddenly into a saint without any trouble on my part! I'm sure some people get converted like that. Yet I don't want to be a regular goody-goody; I despise them so—they're always so full of cant. I don't know what I want. I should like to be right with God, and not be so afraid of Him! This young man went away grieved, it says; he couldn't do it. I suppose I shouldn't have to give up riches to follow Christ, because I haven't any to give up; but I should have to give up other things quite as bad."
THEN, WITH A WHOOP AND A RUSH, IN TUMBLED DOODLE-DOO AND
TATERS! IN AN INSTANT I WAS ON MY FEET; STUFFING THE BIBLE
UNDER THE CUSHION OF MY CHAIR.
And so I meditated, and at last such an overwhelming sense of my own wickedness and shortcomings came over me that I dropped on my knees, and put up the first real prayer in life, though perhaps it may sound a queer one.
"O God, I'll follow Christ, if You'll make it easy for me. I don't want
to be turned into a goody person, but I do want to be right at the
Judgment Day. I do want my sins forgiven, but don't let me have to give
up all fun. And will You put me straight at once—to-night? I can't stop
till to-morrow."
Then I waited for something to happen—some wonderful feeling to come over me; but it didn't come.
And then, with a whoop and a rush, in tumbled Doodle-doo and Taters!
In an instant I was on my feet; stuffing the Bible under the cushion of my chair.
"Aha! We've caught the truant! She looks quite guilty. Take hold of her legs, Taters, and I'll take her arms, and we'll find out what she's been doing!"
But I was not so easily caught, and for the next ten minutes we had a breathless chase through the house, until nurse held me fast.
"Miss Mary, I'm ashamed of you! Nearly fifteen, and romping like a boy! Go to the schoolroom and be quiet. You've woke Master Lionel out of his first sleep, and now he'll be restless for an hour or so. How I wish Fräulein were here!"
A wish poor nurse very often expressed!
Starting
I LAY awake that night thinking.
Honey and I shared the same room. She generally made me impatient
by her leisurely movements, and I was often fast asleep long before
she came to bed; but now I lay awake and listened to her heavy
breathing—sleep would not come to me.
Why had not God answered my prayer?
I had been quite honest about it. How was it I felt just the same, and
nothing had happened? And then again the refrain began in my ears, "One
thing thou lackest. Weighed in the balances, and found wanting."
"I do wish I had never found out that troublesome text! I suppose it is a judgment on me for treating it so lightly. I wonder what became of that young man; where is he now? I suppose he is either in heaven or hell this very minute; and if he is in hell, what would he give to have another chance—to have 'my' chance?"
And then I could bear my thoughts no longer. Out of bed I crept; and, shivering, knelt in the darkness and cold.
"O God, I'm afraid I wasn't in earnest. I'm in dead earnest now. I'll give up everything, and won't care what the others say, if only You will forgive and convert me. I'll give up all story-books if they're wicked, and will read nothing but the Bible. I'll follow Christ at all costs, however difficult and gloomy it will be. I 'must' be forgiven. I ask Thee now to save me, for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen."
Again I laid my head down on my pillow, and this time was soon fast asleep, never waking till our maid came to call us the next morning.
"You're rather silent, Li," said Honey, as she brushed out her golden hair. "Are you half asleep still?"
"No; I'm very much awake," was my response. "I am having very serious thoughts. Honey, do you believe God answers prayer?"
"I suppose so."
"How do we know He does?"
"By getting the answer, I should think. And, of course, the Bible says so."
"Where?" And I rushed to a small table and took hold of my Bible at once.
"I don't know," said Honey, eyeing me perplexedly. "Isn't there a verse somewhere, 'Ask, and it shall be given you'?"
"Yes, of course there is. The fact is, last night I asked God to—well, you know, convert me—make me a proper Christian, and I want to know if He has done it. I don't feel any different this morning. Do I look any different? Do you think He has done it?"
"Li, you aren't making fun, are you?"
"Fun! I'm in downright sober earnest! I'm going to follow Christ. I promised last night, so no more larks for me. I shall be reading my Bible most of the day—at least, do you think an hour a day would be enough to begin with?" My tone was rather pitiful, for the prospect seemed dreary.
But Honey did not answer; she looked quite dazed.
"If I only knew for certain God had answered me, I wouldn't mind," I went on; "but of course I have promised to live as a Christian, and I must try. You may have my skates, Honey; if we do get a frost this winter, I shall never skate again. I wonder if I ought to go to church every day?"
"You sound as if you're going to die," observed Honey.
"If I was sure it was all right with me, I should like to. I think directly people are ready for heaven they ought to go there. It is too tantalizing to be obliged to stay down here seeing other people having good times, and being out of them oneself. I don't know how I shall do it, but I'm going to have a try."
Before we left our room in the morning, we always went through the form of kneeling by our bed for a minute. To-day I felt it was no longer a form; again I implored for pardon, and asked to be kept straight in the narrow path that led to life; and then we went down to breakfast.
"If I were you, Li," said Honey on the staircase, "I wouldn't say anything to the boys about your feelings—not until you are more sure of yourself. I won't breathe a word."
"I never can keep anything secret long," I said dubiously; "but I'll have a try."
The boys did not trouble me; they were full of an expedition they had planned, and this was for all of us to go and see a bachelor uncle of ours who lived about twelve miles away.
"We'll take him by surprise," said Pat; "I'll hire a trap from the livery stables round the corner, and drive you girls; and Doodle-doo and Thunder can come on their bikes. We shall have to start in about an hour. He is sure to stand us a jolly lunch, and it will be no end of a spree."
"And who'll pay for the trap?" asked Taters.
"Oh, I'll stand that! I've been saving lately, and you girls must pay me some of it back when you get your next pocket-money."
It sounded delightful, but I wondered if I ought to go. However, as nurse seemed to agree to it, only telling Pat to be sure to choose a quiet horse, I thought I could safely venture.
"And I will have a good read of my Bible when I come home, and say a few hymns to myself on the way. That will keep me in a religious frame of mind."
With these resolves, I set off with the others, as lighthearted as any. Pat was a good driver. When father was at home, he was constantly driving round the country with him; and now, spinning along the high road with the fresh keen air blowing full in our faces, our spirits rose, and I talked more nonsense than any of them.
As we drew near the house, Honey said, "Uncle Bob has never been near us since we were first taken ill. Suppose he should be afraid of the infection?"
"That's just the fun of it," laughed Taters; "he won't be able to help himself, and I'll give him such a hug when I get near him!"
"THAT'S JUST THE FUN OF IT," SAID TATERS.
"We're out of quarantine," said Pat, rather grandly, "and if the old chap shows the white feather, I'll soon bring him to reason."
Alas! When we reached the house, the closed shutters told us that he was away.
"Never mind," said Honey; "Mrs. Sykes will give us lunch."
But this the old housekeeper did not seem disposed to do. She came to the door in her rustling black silk, and eyed us in stern disapproval.
"Your uncle is away in London for a month. We heard you were all ill of the scarlet fever. It seems a very unseasonable day for you to be out; I should think you had better get home as quickly as possible, for I believe there is a storm coming."
"That we're not going to do before having something to eat," said Pat determinedly. "Get out, girls; and Sykes will get us some bread and cheese, if she has nothing else in the house."
In we all trooped, to Mrs. Sykes's great disgust; but she had a meal prepared for us which we thoroughly enjoyed, and then we spent the rest of our time rambling over the house and grounds, until Pat said we must return.
"Give our love to the old chap!" shouted out Doodle-doo, as we were starting off in style from the front door. "He'll be awfully put out when he knows he has missed us."
Mrs. Sykes muttered something like "A merciful escape!" and closed the door sharply in our faces.
But we knew her ways, and only laughed.
"GIVE OUR LOVE TO THE OLD CHAP!" SHOUTED DOODLE-DOO,
AS WE WERE STARTING OFF IN STYLE.
We had hardly got a mile away from the house, when down came a torrent of rain, and a severe storm burst full upon us.
Telling
NONE of us had umbrellas, and though we girls buttoned up our jackets and pulled the rugs well over our knees, we got soaked through. And then, as a vivid flash of lightning flashed upon us, followed by a deafening clap of thunder, our horse reared, then bolted.
The trap swayed from side to side. Pat muttered between clenched teeth, "Sit still, and hold your tongues!"
And still as death we sat, gripping hold of the back of the seat, and expecting every moment to be upset.
OUR HORSE REARED, THEN BOLTED.
"Am I ready to die?" flashed through my mind; and again I sent up an agonizing cry,—
"O God, forgive, and save me!"
We dashed on; the hedges seemed to fly past us; but the road was a straight and even one. Gradually the horse's pace slackened, and at last, with a tremendous effort, Pat was able to pull up. Then we looked at each other. Honey was as white as a sheet; Pat was wiping the perspiration from his brow; and Taters was the only one who laughed, but her laugh was an hysterical one.
"A near shave for us!" was Pat's comment.
And not another word did he say till we reached home, for we were all considerably sobered by our adventure.
I crept away to my room as soon as I could, and thanked God on my knees for having preserved us. I felt, if He had heard and answered one prayer, He would another; and I went to bed that night a little comforted.
The next morning I ran in next door to ask Miss Moffat for a book she had promised to lend Honey. I found her writing letters in her snug little sitting-room; but she turned round at once and made me sit down by the fire and have a chat with her. Somehow or other I soon found myself telling her all that was in my heart. She had a way of getting everything out of us, and I could never be reticent with her.
"And do you think you have now got the 'one thing lacking,' my dear?"
"I don't know. What do you say was the one thing lacking with that young man, Miss Moffat?"
"He lacked union with Christ," Miss Moffat said softly. "He could not make up his mind to link his life on to our Lord's; and, believe me, Mary, you will never be able to live a happy Christian life unless you get in touch with your Saviour."
"I don't think a Christian life can be a happy one," I said gloomily; "it is life with all the enjoyment taken out of it. But I've promised to live it, and I can't go back from it."
Miss Moffat looked at me with something like tears in her eyes.
"Oh, child, child, what a wrong start you are making! You say you have asked God to forgive you and save you. How can He do it, when He has said no sinner shall come into His presence?"
"I suppose," said I thoughtfully, "He will do it because Christ died for sinners—Christ died for me."
As I said the words a strange sense of peace crept into my heart.
"Yes," Miss Moffat went on; "you have the right foundation. But if you have just been received into the fold, and have obtained forgiveness of sins, and the gift of eternal life—if you have been made an heir of glory—whom must you thank for it?"
"The Lord Jesus Christ," I said slowly.
"And doesn't your heart glow with the thought of all His love for you? Have you no word of thanks to Him? You talk as if you are to live a Christ-like life without Christ! The thing is impossible. Open your empty little heart to Him, and He will come in and flood your life with joy and gladness. A Christian life a gloomy one! Oh, how little, how very little, you know! Get linked on to Christ, my dear; get to know Him as your personal Friend, and you will find you love Him better every day you live—ah! And you'll get to understand a little of His mighty love for you!"
Miss Moffat spoke enthusiastically. I could only stare at her, for her words then were above and beyond my comprehension.
Then I sighed, though a spark of hope sprang up in my breast.
"Do you think God has answered my prayer?" I asked.
Miss Moffat turned over the leaves of her well-worn Bible.
"'If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins.' Faithful—for He never breaks His word; just—because Christ has suffered instead of us. What do you think, Mary?"
I did not answer for a minute; then I said, "But I don't feel any different."
"Let your feelings alone; rest on this verse. Run your finger along it every day, and say, 'God says this. I'll believe it, though I don't feel it.' If you keep on at that, the feeling will come. But your salvation does not depend on your feelings."
I got up to go, and kissed our little friend enthusiastically.
"You're a dear, Miss Moffat! You've comforted me a lot. And you don't think God wants to take away my pleasures if I'm a Christian?"
Miss Moffat smiled.
"He loves you, my child. He loves to see you happy. He will fill your life with blessing, if you are willing to let Him."
I walked back to our house thinking. And then a few minutes after I burst into the schoolroom. The boys were cooking toffee; Taters was dressing our black cat in a paper frock and cap; and Honey was trying vainly to write a letter to mother. I flung Honey's book on the table.
"I've something to tell you all!" I said.
I TOOK UP THE SOFA CUSHIONS, AND FLUNG THEM
WITH ALL MY FORCE AT THE BOYS' HEADS.
"Hulloo! Anything grand? Why, Li is quite excited! Out with it; your eyes are nearly starting out of your head!"
I stood erect, and faced them all.
"It's something very good for me. I'm a Christian."
A shout of laughter from the boys.
"Just found that out? What are we? Heathen?"
I was not disconcerted.
"I tell you I'm quite different to what I was a few days ago. I found out the answer to Miss Moffat's question, and I'm going to be really and truly religious."
Pat tapped his forehead significantly.
"Poor Li! She has been rather queer the last day or two, but I didn't think it would come to this!"
"Li pious! If you lived to be a hundred, you couldn't be: so don't you come here trying to green us!"
Exasperated by these jeers, I took up the sofa cushions—our favourite implements of warfare—and flung them with all my force at the boys' heads, exclaiming hotly—
"I am! I don't care what you say, and how you laugh! I know myself better than you do, and if I choose to be 'pious,' as you call it, I shall!"
And then, dashing out of the room, I rushed to our bedroom, and flinging myself on my bed, burst into tears.
Growing
"DINNER, my good woman! It's very easy to tell you what
we should like for dinner. A good seaside one, of course! We'll begin
with scalloped oysters, some broiled mackerel, and boiled cod, with
shrimp sauce, lobster salad—"
"Some starfish jelly, and limpet tart, and crab cream to follow—"
"And seaweed sandwiches and salt-water ices to finish up with!"
Our landlady's face was a picture, as these volleys were fired at her;
and Fräulein turned upon us with a sharp rebuke.
"Go down to the beach, and let me not see you till dinner! You are an
overwhelming torrent when it is business that I wish to talk!"
It was a fortnight later; Fräulein had returned to us at the end of a week, and, acting upon a letter she had received from our parents, had brought us all down to a seaside village on the sunny south coast.
It was the beginning of March, early in the year for lodgers; but we liked the emptiness of the place, and were enjoying ourselves immensely. I did not find that my spiritual experiences were making my life less happy. Of course the boys teased me unmercifully. Every morning they would ask, "Still pious, Li? Isn't the fit over?"
But as they always would tease about something, I did not mind; and found that I could laugh and joke with them the same as usual. Miss Moffat helped me a great deal; and I was beginning to like reading my Bible. Not that I could yet spend a long time over it without becoming weary; but Miss Moffat told me I must not expect to walk before I could crawl, and she advised me to read a short portion at a time, thinking over it, and praying to be taught.
It was a cheering thought to me that God liked to see me happy. I never could keep grave for long, and my heart being at rest about the future, and at peace about my sins, made a wonderful difference to me.
This morning, when we had scattered on the beach, and Thunder and I had taken refuge under a breakwater for a few minutes' rest, he turned to me and said, "I don't believe you're the genuine article, Li! It's a sham and delusion!"
"What is?"
"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU'RE THE GENUINE ARTICLE, LI!
IT'S A SHAM AND DELUSION!"
"Your Christianity—or conversion—as you call it."
"Why do you think so?"
"Oh, because it hasn't changed you!"
"I hope it has," I said soberly.
"Well, you're just as cheeky as you always were; it hasn't lengthened your face, or choked the fun out of you."
"I hope it never will; but it has made a lot of difference to me inside. I'm not afraid of God any more. I feel I belong to Him, and am getting to love Him. I think it's a very jolly thing to be a Christian, and I wish you would be one too."
Thunder gave a short laugh. "It's well enough for girls; but if you were at a public school, as we are, you'd know a fellow couldn't be religious. There are a few who try it on, but they're in their own set, and are too slow for words!"
"Well," said I quickly, "it's their own stupidity if it makes them slow; it isn't religion!"
We were interrupted here by the breathless arrival of Doodle-doo and Taters.
"Hi! You two, come on! We're going out for a sail!"
I was on my feet instantly, and down at the water's edge the next minute, where Pat was holding a parley with the boatman, whose smart little craft lay by.
"Now, look here, my good fellow," Pat was saying, "I wasn't born yesterday, and there won't be room for you. We either have the boat to ourselves, or we chuck up the sail altogether! Take your choice!"
"I say!" I said aside to Honey. "The boys aren't going to take us out after what Fräulein said?"
"Oh, bother Fräulein," said Honey: "she's such an old fuss! Pat has managed a sailing-boat before this."
"I'M NOT COMING," I SAID, DRAWING BACK.
I was silent. It was a bright, sunny morning, and I longed to go. Yet only yesterday Fräulein had positively forbidden us girls to go in a sailing-boat without a proper boatman; and though I had not a particle of fear myself, my conscience was becoming more tender, and I felt we ought not to disobey her. Pat, meanwhile, had overruled the boatman's objections, and was marshalling us carefully into the boat.
"I'm not coming," I said, drawing back. "You know we've been forbidden; and we could go for a row just as easy; Fräulein doesn't mind that."
"Don't be a little fool!" was his quick rejoinder. "Old Fräu will have forgotten she gave such an order when she sees us back safe and sound! What has made you so unusually squeamish?"
"It's her pious fit!" cried Doodle-doo. "Let the little dear alone! She's going to be a naughty girl no more!"
"Come on; don't make an ass of yourself!" said Thunder, tugging hold of my arm as he spoke. "Weren't you saying just now that your religion wouldn't turn you into a molly-coddle?"
"Are you afraid?" laughed Taters, already taking a seat in the boat.
It was my first battle. Strangely enough, up to now nothing had happened to put my religion to the test.
"I'm not afraid," I said slowly, looking wistfully at the boat; "but you're right—my religion won't let me go. I must be left behind."
It seemed rather hard lines to me; but they were all so excited about getting off that they did not waste time in persuasion.
IN PLAYING WITH PIXIE I FORGOT MY TROUBLE.
Pat called out, "Go back to old Fräu, and tell her of the wickedness of her pupils! In Sunday-school books we should all be drowned as a punishment! You and she had better watch on the beach for our bodies to be washed ashore!"
I watched them go with tears in my eyes. Oh, it was hard sometimes to be good! Why were forbidden things so nice?
And then Pixie came running up to me, and in playing with him I forgot my trouble. We built sand castles, and destroyed them; and then, tired out, I sat down on the shingle, and Pixie threw himself upon me.
"Tell me a story, Li, 'bout one of those little ships that go away right into the sky. Pixie would like to go out in a ship with a big knife, and cut away all those dull old clouds that hide the blue sky."
It was nearly dinner-time when the sailing-boat returned. All were in high spirits, laughing at me for having missed such fun.
But when we got back to our lodgings, Fräulein was very angry, and kept Honey and Taters indoors for the rest of the afternoon.
"Oh, we're a bad lot!" said Pat, listening to Fräulein's scolding with the greatest equanimity. "But you're going to have one saint amongst your pupils now, who will comfort and cheer your heart! Old Li's wicked days are over! Don't you see the difference in her face? A kind of what-a-good-girl-am-I smirk in the corner of her mouth; a what-a-wicked-set-I-live-amongst twist one side of her nose; and a oh-how-frivolous-is-earth roll in the whites of her eyes!"
I got up and inspected myself in the mirror over the fireplace.
"I wish I could see a change," I said; "it's the one thing that doesn't look religious about me; but Miss Moffat's face isn't a religious one—that's my comfort!"
Working
I HAD some ups and downs after this, but I was quickly
corrected if I made a slip; the others seemed to keep a lynx-eyed watch
on every word and movement, and if it had not been for Miss Moffat's
letter, I really think I should have got thoroughly disheartened. She
said in it,—
"Don't think you won't tumble, my dear; young feet are very uncertain.
But when you've fallen, let the Lord pick you up again; He won't
lose patience with you."
Some days were records of failure on failure; but I was beginning to
find prayer a great comfort, and, to my great delight, I was feeling a
warm love filling my heart for the One who had done, and was doing, so
much for me.
"It's a great comfort, Honey," I said one morning, as we were dressing in our bedroom, "that fresh days keep coming. How dreadful if we had one long eternal day with no break!"
"Why?" she asked.
"Because it gives one a fresh start. Now, yesterday, you know how I went on; I lost my temper with Taters, was rude to Fräulein, and ended by being sent off to bed an hour earlier for having that row with Pat, and smashing our landlady's hideous lamp in the hall! Well, to-day I'm starting again, quite fresh and jolly!"
"You're an awfully queer Christian," said Honey. "I don't believe you're a proper one."
"So you always say; but I can't be perfect all at once—Miss Moffat says I can't. Do you think I am getting on a little bit?"
I added this rather pleadingly, and Honey responded warmly, "You're a brick! The boys say so, though they do tease you so. Pat said yesterday he would never have given you credit for so much pluck and perseverance. I'm sure you're as happy as any of us, and not a bit priggish, so far."
"Then," said I, a little shyly, "I wish you'd try it too, Honey. I've been reading in my Bible to-day about the disciples following Jesus, and the one who went to the other and said, 'Come and see.' I wish you would 'come and see,' Honey!"
HONEY WAS FASTENING HER COLLAR.
Honey didn't answer. She was fastening her collar, which didn't seem to meet without a great deal of tugging, and her face grew red.
"I'll wait and see how you go on first," she said. "I've thought a lot lately, and if you can be religious, I don't see why I couldn't; but I shan't do anything yet."
I felt very pleased at this, and from that time asked God in my prayers to make Honey decide to serve Him. She was always much more gentle and thoughtful than I was; and I often told her she would find it much easier than I did.
The time at the seaside went much quicker than it did at home. We were out nearly all day long, and we explored the country for miles round. Fräulein was the only one who felt dull; she loved the town with all the shops and people; and then, too, she was always having the disagreeable duty of having to act as peacemaker between us and our landlady, who vowed she had never before had such a noisy set of lodgers. The boys and she were at daggers drawn, and I really think she would have liked to turn us out, if it had not been the empty time of year.
On Sunday morning we heard a sermon that made a great impression on me. We went to a little country church, and I liked the simple old-fashioned service there. The text we had was:
"'As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to
another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.'"
The vicar said a lot about Christians being so lazy and careless as they were, and not working for God; and he showed us that God would have no idle stewards on His property. It made me feel very ashamed of myself, when I remembered that for nearly four weeks I had known about and received this gift from God, and yet I had never tried to pass the good news on to any one. And when I came home I determined that I would try harder than ever to get Honey to join me; and after I had got her, I would try for Thunder.
But, beyond promising to read a few verses from the Bible with me every morning, Honey still resisted my persuasion.
"There's plenty of time, Li. I don't feel my sins a burden, as you did, and I'm getting rather tired of your preaches. Leave me alone. I mean to be religious some day, but not yet."
One morning Thunder and I had been for a long ramble along the shore, when, coming back, we saw a great commotion on the beach. We found Fräulein jabbering away in excited German to several fishermen, and nurse rushing backwards and forwards looking quite demented, whilst Pat and the others were talking at the top of their voices, and all were looking anxious and scared.
We were soon told what had happened; Pixie was lost, and the general fear was that he had drifted out to sea in a boat.
Honey was the last one with him; she was lying in a boat tied up on the beach reading a book, when he came and joined her. Now, when Honey read a story-book she always got so engrossed in it that she never noticed anything going on about her. Pixie played about, talking to himself, and she remembers seeing him twisting and untwisting the rope, and saying something about wanting to sail away to the sky, but she did not take much notice of it at the time. She left him soon after, for a few minutes, whilst she went to exchange her book with one that Taters had, and when she came back no Pixie was to be seen. She was not alarmed, for she concluded nurse had come to fetch him indoors, and it was only just before we came up that they discovered that Pixie was missing.
WE FOUND FRÄULEIN JABBERING AWAY IN EXCITED GERMAN
TO SEVERAL FISHERMEN.
"And not only is he gone," said Honey tearfully, turning to me, "but the boat is missing! He must have undone the rope, and the tide has come in, and he must have drifted out to sea!"
I looked anxiously out on the ocean. It was a calm day, and a few fishing-smacks were going out to sea, but there was no sign of a boat anywhere.
"We must do something," said Pat, with energy, "and the sooner we set to work the better. We shall not be likely to find him after dark. If he has drifted out to sea, we must follow."
And in an incredibly short time, he and Doodle-doo, Thunder and a stalwart boatman, were rowing out in the direction they thought the boat might have gone.
Praying
I DON'T think I ever remember a more miserable day than it was after Pixie was missing. Honey was inconsolable; the boys returned late at night, tired out, and thoroughly disheartened at their unsuccessful search; Fräulein and nurse were dissolved in tears, and both seemed perfectly helpless to make any suggestions.
"He may have been picked up by some steamer or fishing-smack," I said, trying to speak hopefully.
"I know he is drowned!" wailed Honey.
"And it will be your doing!" said Pat severely. "You left a baby in an open boat, with the tide coming in around him; and when you found he had disappeared you never troubled yourself, or told any one for a full hour after!"
Honey was too miserable to defend herself. Pixie was the darling of us all, and the boys were too alarmed to show any mercy. I tried to cheer her up, and then was assailed with—
"Oh, do shut up with your 'hopes' and 'perhaps,' Li! Your grins are as bad as Honey's snivels. I suppose you think a saint ought to show a stony front at a time like this!"
"HERE I IS, AND A BIG FISH."
"I'm not going to imagine the worst, to please you," I said stoutly; "for I've been praying for Pixie ever since he was missing, and I believe God will send him back to us again."
"Cant!" muttered Doodle-doo; but Honey whispered—
"If God answers your prayer, Li, I'll become a Christian, like you."
And then, about half-past ten, when Fräulein was urging us to go to bed, and Pat had just returned from visiting the coastguard station on the cliff, we heard a knock at the door, and a rush of small feet along the passage.
"Hear I is, and a big fish for my supper! And Pixie saw a lot of fish caught in a net!" He marched in amongst us, his hat on the back of his head, hugging a slippery fish in his arms, which he deposited in triumph on Fräulein's lap. A fisherman followed him in, and explained that he had found him in the boat drifting out to sea, as we had feared, and had taken him on board his smack.
"The coolest little chap I h'ever set eyes on! Said he was going to touch the sky, and warn't half pleased at havin' to come back without a-doin' it."
Pixie could not understand the reason for such hugs and embraces as he received, and no one had the heart to scold him, until nurse said—
"And don't you think it was very naughty to go off in a boat like that, and give us all such a fright?"
Pixie looked round on us serenely.
"The boat ran away hisself. Pixie only sat quite still and bumped up and down."
"Weren't you frightened when you got out to sea?" asked Taters.
He shook his curly head. "O' course I wasn't. When the boat jumped up and down very high, I asked Jesus to come in and sit by me; and I fink he did. And I asked Jesus to take me frough the sky into heaven; but this man broughted me back before I got there. And Pixie is very tired, and he'll go to bed, and have the fish for his breakfus!"
Nurse carried him off, and we all followed his example; but before we got into bed, I said to Honey—
"Don't you feel very thankful Pixie is safe?"
"I should think I did! It's like a mountain's weight off me!"
"Well, then, aren't you going to do what you said!"
Honey looked doubtfully at me. "Yes, I really will, but not to-night; I'm too tired."
I lost patience with her. "You put off and off; and you'll never do it! I hate such shilly-shallying! Why can't you make up your mind one way or the other? Say downright you don't mean to change, instead of pretending you want to, and never doing it! I'm sick of your saying that 'by-and-by' you'll do it! If you don't take care, you'll put it off till too late, and then where will you be? You're as weak as water!"
"Thank you!" said Honey placidly, though I could tell by her face she was angry. "And you're a hypocrite if your temper can flare up over nothing so!"
I dashed into bed, and worked off my indignation under the bedclothes.
A quarter of an hour later, thoroughly ashamed of myself, I sprang up and went over to Honey's bed.
"I'm awfully sorry," I said penitently; "do forgive me! But you don't know how I long for you to be as happy as I am; and I'm so afraid you will never do it unless you make a start now. God has been so good in preserving Pixie's life."
Honey was not demonstrative—none of us were—but she gave my arm a squeeze.
"All right, Li! I don't really think you a hypocrite, but don't give me up yet. I really will start soon, but not to-night; and I have thanked God for sending Pixie back—I really have."
I crept back into bed a little comforted, and then I determined that I would pray three or four times every day that Honey and Thunder might become true Christians. "If God can answer one prayer, He will another," I argued; "and I expect He would much rather have them Christians than save Pixie from drowning; for I should think He would be glad to have such a darling in heaven!"
And so I prayed, and waited, and wondered why God did not answer my prayer sooner; for both Honey and Thunder seemed, in my eyes, to be as far off as ever.
"A letter from your mother!" said Fräulein one morning. "And we home shall go at once. The workmen have papered and washed the house, and your father and mother are also returning quickly."
I seized hold of Doodle-doo and spun him round and round the table in delight—
"Hurray! We've been here long enough. When shall we go? To-day?"
"I'll tell old Skim-milk, and see her face when she hears the news!"
And Doodle-doo rushed from the room to break the tidings to our landlady, whom we had nicknamed "Skim-milk" from the poverty of that article when brought to our table.
"THE HOUSE OF THE FATTEST OLD FURY THAT EVER LIVED
ON THE BEST TITBITS OF HER LODGERS!"
He returned chuckling.
"What did she say?" we demanded.
"She tossed up the tip of her nose. 'A blessed thing for me, afore my carpets get wored to rags, and my paint scratched off, and my house gets the name in the Terrace of containin' the vulgarest, noisiest, impertinentest set of children, big enough to know better!'"
"And what did you say?"
"I was very solemn. 'Do you know what name your house has got? The house of the fattest old fury that ever lived on the best titbits of her lodgers, and pried into their pockets and drawers for odd halfpence!' Then she looked round for a broomstick, and I walked off!"
Reaping
WE were glad to get home. I think we were getting tired of our long holidays, and were not sorry when the day was fixed for the boys to go back to school after the Easter holidays.
And we all enjoyed having father and mother back again. Mother was a great invalid, but she was always ready to help and listen to any of us, if we went to her with our troubles; and father spoilt us all—so Fräulein and nurse said. He was always ready to take us sightseeing about London, and we were never tired of accompanying him.
The evening before the boys went back to school we were having a small farewell gathering. We always had them every quarter, and cook used to make us a huge iced cake with "farewell" in pink letters all round it, which we much appreciated.
Miss Moffat was with us, and so was Uncle Bob, and we spent the evening in games and merriment. It was during some dumb charades, with which we were winding up, that Thunder and I were alone for a few minutes. I had been longing to say something to him before he went back to school, and now this seemed the opportunity.
"You'll write to me, won't you, Thun?"
"Don't I always?"
"And, Thun, will you try what I have tried?"
Thunder looked at me for a moment without speaking, then he said gruffly—
"I have."
"Oh, when? How splendid!"
"A week or two ago."
"And have you really started? Oh, Thunder, you might have told me!"
"I meant to; but you know how hard it is to talk. I've been watching you, and I felt I was all wrong. I think I'm on the right track now, only it's the life at school I dread. You might, you know, pray for me, Li, when I'm gone."
No more would he say, and I was so overcome that tears crowded to my eyes. It seemed too good to be true, and yet it was only the answer to my prayers. I knew Thunder was too thoughtful and thorough to be anything but real. He always had held on doggedly to anything that he had taken up, and, as Miss Moffat would say, he would have unseen power to help him along; so I had not much fear for his future.
"OH, WHEN? HOW SPLENDID!"
"Why, Mary, you're sunshine itself!" said Miss Moffat to me later that evening. "What makes you so radiant?"
I gave her a good squeeze. "Thunder," I said.
She understood, for she raised her eyebrows, and then nodded and smiled.
Just before she left us, when I was putting on her cloak in the hall, I whispered—
"Isn't it lovely? But I wish it was Honey."
Miss Moffat smiled. "Pray and work for her, dear child."
The boys went. We girls settled down to a very quiet routine of lessons with Fräulein, and felt dull after our long time of idleness and dissipation. And so the spring wore on and summer came, and still Honey wavered and said "By-and-by" when I talked to her.
One lovely summer's afternoon we were gathering round the schoolroom table with black looks. It had been a trying day; Fräulein had a headache, and was unusually fidgety and cross, and the heat and confinement had made us careless and idle. After dinner Fräulein went to rest in her room, leaving us each so many French exercises to write out as impositions, and forbidding us to leave the schoolroom till we had finished them.
"It's a beastly shame!" cried Taters, stamping her foot in anger when Fräulein had departed. "And I'm not going to do mine. Look!"
And taking up her exercise-book, naughty Taters deliberately tore it to pieces and scattered the fragments out of the open window.
We were rather aghast at this proceeding, for Fräulein was not a person to be trifled with.
"You're a little silly," Honey said; "it will only be worse for you in the end."
"It's too bad of Fräulein," I grumbled. "If I was a governess with a headache, I would give fewer lessons to my pupils, not more."
"Even a saint can grumble!" said Taters, mockingly, and then she ran out of the room.
We heard her whistling on the staircase, and then suddenly there was an awful crash, a piercing shriek, and dead silence.
Honey and I rushed to the door, and I shall never forget the moment when, looking over the balusters, we saw Taters—a confused heap in the hall below. She had been sliding on the rails, a forbidden pastime, and in some way or other had overbalanced herself.
Mother rushed from her room, and was the first to lift her up; the servants and Fräulein crowded round, and then nurse came up and drew us into the nursery.
Honey was as white as death, and shaking like a leaf. "She isn't dead, nurse! Oh, she can't be dead!"
"Pray God she mayn't be!" responded nurse. And she left us with Pixie, while she went to give her help.
Our doctor came almost immediately, and there were hushed voices and footsteps all the evening. We were told when we went to bed that Taters was alive, but she had broken an arm, and concussion of the brain was feared.
For weeks she lay between life and death. Honey and I were too miserable for words. And I kept praying in my heart, "O God, heal her; let her live—save her!"
But at last she began to recover, and the first day that we heard the good news from nurse, "The doctor says she'll do nicely now," Honey turned to me with earnest resolve in her face—
"Li, I've been fighting against God and holding back all this time. Now I will give myself up to Him. I want to be a Christian like you. I have been miserable about myself ever since you altered so. Tell me what to do."
I tried to tell her, but somehow it was not very easy until I got hold of my Bible, and then that made it clear. I made her look at "Him that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out."
And then she said, "That will do, Li," and left the room.
I did not go near her, but put up a tiny prayer to God that He would take her as I felt He had taken me, and again I thanked Him for answered prayer.
It was some days before Honey felt sure of herself, but at last she seemed to get the peace of mind she was wanting.
"It is so good of God to have been so patient with me," she said. "I believe if Taters had not been nearly killed, I should never have made up my mind; but I never felt before how quickly we could die. Oh, Li, suppose Taters had been killed on the spot!"
I shuddered. "God has saved her," I said, "and now we must pray for her. I should like her to start too. Wouldn't it be splendid if we three were all of the same mind before the boys came back from their holidays?"
Taters was much impressed during her illness, but she disappointed us when she was well again, for she seemed more thoughtless than ever.
Miss Moffat comforted me when I talked it over with her, by saying, "God has been good in letting you reap two of your family, my child. Go on praying and working, and remember, with you young people, that the life tells more than the words."
"And I suppose it teaches us to be patient and persevering in prayer!"
Miss Moffat nodded and smiled. "'Let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.'"
THE END
PRINTED BY
HAZELL, WATSON, AND VINEY, LD.
LONDON AND AYLESBURY.