Many pages have been, and probably, will be, devoted to lengthy essays on the art, science, and theory of so called mind reading.

To the average reader such an essay is dull and uninteresting as well as uninstructive, and of no practical use.

Rare instances of genuine thought transference there may be, they are not general, and not possible to even the most susceptible people in a promiscuous and usually unsympathetic audience.

The modus operandi here given is the method used by Stuart Cumberland, the late Washington Bishop and others who might be termed professional mind readers.

This system is known as “muscle reading” and ethereal influence, thought waves, and other uncertain and generally unreliable things form no part of the programme.

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The usual feats of the mind reader who gives public exhibitions are to find concealed articles, write names, pick out keys thought of on piano or similar instrument.

Request that some one produce an ordinary pin.

Allow yourself to be blindfolded and accompanied to a separate room by some person in the audience, in whom spectators place confidence. While you are thus voluntarily exiled, one person in the auditorium (whether it be parlor or theater) is to fix his mind upon some place, then slowly walk there and hide the pin. He then returns to his seat. The others who are present, of course know where the article is.

You are now taken into the auditorium. The person who hid the pin is requested to come and take your hand, you being blindfolded. Ask him to fix his right hand flatly upon yours, facing in the same direction, i. e., his fingers are placed against yours. You now place your hand upon the back of his, thus holding his hand in a sort of vice. In order to hold his hand as above described, it will be necessary for him to remain close to your side, yet he should not otherwise come in contact with you. Now tell him to fix his mind intently upon the spot where the pin is hidden, and that[4] you will lead him to the locality. The secret of doing this seemingly supernatural feat is as follows:

Relax your vice-like position of hands, so that if he desired he could pull his hand away without much friction. Now, although you have not the remotest knowledge (and you should not have any idea) as to where the pin is hidden, start off suddenly in some direction and request that he follow you, but go so fast at first that you will pull away from his hand. By practice you will learn that if you have started in the proper direction, he will willingly accompany you, if you have started in another direction, he will unconsciously hold back. His resistance will be very slight, almost unperceptible, except to a practiced operator. Let us suppose that you have found that you are going in the right direction, move along fast. When it is time to turn, his mind being intently fixed upon the place he wants to go to, will unconsciously, but very naturally, control his muscles, so that he will at once show a slight resistance, and if you take immediate action upon this “hint” and turn, he will either “favor” you or show more resistance, according to whether you turn in correct or incorrect direction. When you have approached near to the spot, there will be more resistance or freedom in accompanying you.[5] Then your fine work begins. Change the position of hands so that his forms the vice while your right hand is the one between. Your left hand is now extended as a “feeler.” Request that while he attentively watches your left hand, he also keep his mind more intently than ever upon the location of the object. Raise your left hand up, at the same time raising your right hand slightly upward. If his thoughts are upon a place that is above the usual level of your hands, he will willingly raise his hands (which are on your right hand flatly,) or if the article is hidden low, he will resist, but favor your hands when you begin to move them downward. Thus you can closely locate the article.

If you are not blindfolded tightly, you can quite easily see what is below your nose, and this may enable you to catch sight of the pin and pick it up more readily, otherwise follow your “cues.”

A well known gentleman who is now a professional mind reader once paid one hundred dollars for the foregoing.

The whole secret is in the fact that if a person is intently thinking of some object in a certain place, his head will generally unconsciously lean toward the spot in question. If he is walking[6] with a mind reader, who declares that he is about to go to the certain spot, the person will involuntarily aid him in doing so, as has been indicated. Some performers do not adopt the first position of hands, and then change them when probably near the object, as described, but instead, use the last named position entirely, thus leaving the left hand of the operator free at all times.

The secret of picking out certain notes or keys on a piano is similar. In this case move your left hand quickly from one end to the other, at the same time moving your right hand. Your accompanist will involuntarily hesitate somewhere, then you may stop and move your left hand over a very limited space until you finally settle upon the exact spot.

To write a name thought of, is the most difficult of all. This is done on a large blackboard. With chalk in your left hand, mark out lines in shape of letters. The person whose thought you are reading will assist you without knowing he is doing so.

Other feats are done on the same principle.

If the person whom you are operating with, does not keep his mind intently upon what you require you will not be as likely to succeed. If you fail, you can ascribe this as the reason. The late Foster, a celebrated “spiritualist” used to tell names[7] by picking out letters on children’s toy alphabet blocks. This he did in a similar way to that described for finding certain keys on a piano.

Pick out your “subject” or person whom you will operate with carefully. Avoid those of the extremely skeptical or “know it all” kind. Do not try to do much with women, unless they are aged and believe you to be a medium; in fact those who believe in you will be your best assistants. Do not select as an accompanist, a person who is about your own age; such a person is usually jealous, and does not want you to succeed. Avoid lawyers and doctors as assistants; they are recognized as being more adept in all things than the balance of mankind, therefore they will oppose you on general principles. The best “subjects” are clergymen, aged people and believers in spiritualism. Although most mind readers allow pins to be hidden, a knife, or pocket book will do quite as well and is easier to locate when near.

Before trying anything of this sort in public, practice well. Remember that you cannot acquire all in a day.

This is the full secret of mind reading as it is practiced in the parlors or on the stage by people who make it their business.

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By careful practice at home you can after a few weeks become an expert if you wish.

It doesn’t require a professional mind reader to discover that a man thinks more of a beautiful well formed woman, than he does of a woman with a “muddy” skin or flat chest.

Women who wish to become beautiful, or men who wish to see their wives and sweethearts beautiful should write to Mrs. Helen Marko, Box 3032, N. Y. City, for her private circular regarding bust development, and fair complexion.

Many ladies are suffering from superfluous hair on the face, neck or arms. This hair can be removed quickly, easily and it will never return if Rex Hair Renewer is used. This marvelous preparation costs but one dollar a bottle. Send money order to Rex Medical Co., Philadelphia, Pa.

To introduce our celebrated Pacific Tea, we will send 1 package, postpaid, for 12c., and will mail with it, free, 1 beautiful gold-plated neck chain, nearly 1 yard long, 1 silver-plated thimble and 1 gold pen. To get all, send 12c., stamps, to Rex Company, Box 494, Philadelphia, Pa.

A fact that has recently come to light shows a[10] new use to which human hair has been put. During the last year or two tons of hair have been packed between the plates of a certain part of war vessels. Hair is very elastic, and thus affords a most effective backing to metal. Again, it is being used very satisfactorily to form a kind of fender, which is thrown over the side of a vessel to prevent her scraping against the dock—to take the place, in fact, of more commonly used rope coils.

Clip this out. We will send you a beautiful double Diamond ring, 9 new books, 1 pretty handkerchief and catalogue, all postpaid in one bundle for 10 cents. Address W. S. Everett & Co., Lynn, Mass.

He is a well-known figure in Chicago, particularly among the old settlers. It was 4 o’clock and the daily afternoon stream of homegoers had set in. He had made his uneventful way from his editorial sanctum, as he does, with few exceptions, every day in the year, to the stairs on Congress street, which lead to the trains on the Alley L road. As is his wont, he was pursuing a wholly subjective train of thought as he jostled along[11] with the tide of humanity which was moving up the stairs to board a train.

Suddenly, just as he was reaching the landing, his gold-bowed spectacles were swept off his nose and he found himself dazed and blinking, too much astonished for the moment to cry out, and quite unable to see anything distinctly. As soon as he fairly realized what had happened he cried out:

“I’ve been robbed! Officer! Where is an officer?” While the usual stampede which invariably attends excitement of any sort in a crowd was going on the train moved off, and the officer put in an appearance. By this time the editor, full of years and experience, who had of a truth had his property stolen before his very eyes, had reflected that probably his spectacles were already in a pawn shop, and also that he did not care to see his name in print in connection with the incident. He, therefore, coolly stated to the officer that he had been the victim of a practical joke, and made his way home as best he could, not being able to see anything distinctly.

To reduce our stock we will send 1 case fine perfumery, 2 choice books, 2 elegant handkerchiefs and catalogue all free, postpaid, if you send us six[12] 1 cent stamps for mailing. U. S. Supply Co., Lynn, Mass.

A bachelor had the blues, and applied to a doctor for some medicine. The doctor inquired into his case, and wrote a prescription in Latin, which the bachelor took to a drug store. Translated, the prescription read:

“Seventeen yards of silk, with a woman in it.”

After the druggist got through laughing, the bachelor proposed to a lady that evening, and was married in two weeks.

Some careful experiments which have been made in England prove that the life of a locomotive is about 500,000 “train miles.” In other words, that a locomotive of the latest improved pattern will run 500,000 miles before wearing out so as to be useless. In making this run of 500,000 miles, the fire box will have to be renewed three times, the wheel tires five or six times and the crank axles from three to five times.

I was at the railroad offices to see the manager, and while I waited for him a little, old woman in a poke bonnet and a homespun dress and carrying a long used umbrella in her hand, came upstairs[13] and, after looking around she walked up to me and said:

“Waitin’ to see the boss, I reckon?”

“Yes.”

“So’m I. Ever see him befo’?”

“Never.”

“Wall, I hev. He’s a bluffer. He’ll jest try to out-holler yo’. If he can’t do that he will sulk like a mewl. If yo’ don’t seem to kear fur that then he’ll order yo’ out. Then’s the time you want to draw back yo’r umbrella, like this, and pint it at him, like this, and let him see he’s got to cum down or you’ll make a hole right threw him. Bin run over by the railroad?”

“No.”

“Had hogs or cattle run over?”

“No.”

“Wall, keep an eye on him in thar’, and don’t take no bluff.”

Half an hour later I met her downstairs. She had several greenbacks in her hand, and seemed to be in a pleasant frame of mind.

“Did you succeed?” I queried.

“Yo’ jest shout that I did!” she replied, shaking the money at me. “Went in thar’ and crooked my finger at him and sez:

“Cum down! Yo’r ole railroad has smashed him all to squash and has to pay fer it!”

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“‘How much?’ sez he.

“‘Twenty dollars,’ sez I.

“‘Make it fifteen, or I punch!’

“‘Wal, say fifteen.’”

“And so you had a hog run over and got $15 for it?” I asked.

“Hawg? Hawg? Who said hawg!” she demanded. “No, sah! The railroad ran over my ole man and scattered him along fur seven miles and I do believe if I’d struck for $16 I’d hev got it plump down in my hand!”

A one-legged newsboy in Buffalo serves a route of papers by whirling on a bicycle. His wooden leg is so fitted that it turns one of the pedals.

The minister, it was expected, would spend the evening with the family, and Mrs. Williams was most anxious that her little boy should appear at his best.

“Now, Willie,” she said, “Dr. Schultz will ask you your name, and you must tell him it is ‘Willie.’ And he will ask you how old you are, and then you must say, ‘Five.’ And he will want to know where bad little boys go, and you must tell him, ‘They go to hell.’ Do you understand?”

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Not content with a repetition once or twice, Mrs. Williams drilled him again and again in the answers.

Dr. Schultz came as expected, and, after a short conversation with the hostess, lifted the child on his knee, and said:

“Well, my little fellow, can you tell me your name?”

Imagine the surprise of the reverend doctor, when, like a flash, came the answer:

“Willie. Five years old. Go to hell.”

Wiggins—What makes you look so glum, Bliggins? Is your vacation over?

Bliggins—No; I did not have a vacation, but my wife did and it is over.

Never call on a lady after drinking, says an exchange. It is very dangerous. Many a young man has become engaged that way.

An intelligent foreigner is said to have expressed himself after the following fashion on the absurdities of the English language: “When I discovered that if I was quick I was fast, if I stood firm[16] I was fast, if I spent too freely I was fast, and that not to eat was to fast, I was discouraged; but when I came across this sentence, ‘The first one won one one-dollar prize,’ I was tempted to give up English and learn some other language.”

“Miss Isabel, you are not at all like other girls.”

“That is not a compliment, Mr. Spooner; you should say that other girls are not at all like me.”

“Mabel is dreadfully vexed.”

“What is the matter?”

“Somebody asked her to read a paper at an old settlers’ meeting.”