It’s Time Something Happened

This play is fully protected by the copyright law, all requirements of which have been complied with. No performance, either professional or amateur, may be given without the permission of the publisher, D. APPLETON AND COMPANY, 35 West 32nd Street, New York, or D. APPLETON AND COMPANY, 25 Bedford Street, Covent Garden, London, England.

(The Prologue steps before the curtain. He is dressed in tights, etc., and carries a trumpet.)

Do you know who I am? Yes, I’m the Prologue. I’m not really the Prologue: I am really the Exposition. But they put tights on me and gave me this (indicating the trumpet) and called me the Prologue. I can’t play a trumpet, but it goes well with my tights and looks good, and besides it’s something to lean on while I’m standing over there. Yes, I stand there during the whole play. It’s that kind of play.

There, I’ve told you! Yes, you’re going to see a play of a sort. Maybe it won’t be much of a play. That will depend on how much of a help you are. I suppose I’ve got to explain. That is part of my duties as the Exposition.

You see last night a young man (he must have been [Pg 2]a very young man) dreamed a dream. I don’t mean that you can dream anything but a dream, but it is better to say “dreamed a dream” than to say simply, “he dreamed.” Now, this young man dreamed about triangles—not the kind he ought to have dreamed about as a student of higher mathematics and a very young man—but the other kind. He must have been pretty much of a playgoer, this young man.

As I say, he dreamed of triangles. He dreamed of a man and a wife and another man. That’s what is known as a triangle, you know. He didn’t give much time to the husband, but he did get the wife and the other man into a terrible mess. He made them fall in love, and he was just about to solve the problem of how he was going to get rid of the husband—that’s always the problem of triangles, you know—when he woke up.

Do you see the difficulty? Here are two angles, desperately in love, and they haven’t yet found out how they can get rid of the husband angle. And, moreover—but no, I’ve been enough Exposition for the present. If anything comes up that you don’t understand, I’ll try to make it clear to you. I’ll be right over here if you want me. If you’re all ready, we’ll begin. Just remember that you’re to help the angles if you can, please!

(He walks to one side and folds his arms. The curtains part, revealing a blank wall of curtains in the rear. Before curtains are three high stools. On left stool the She-Angle sits and on right stool the He-Angle, leaving the center stool vacant.)

I’m—Oh, well, have it your own way. But, after all, it isn’t getting us anywhere, is it?

You— Oh, there we go again. (Gets off chair and paces across stage.) After all, it isn’t getting us anywhere.

Oh, well. (He goes over to her and takes her hand.) I’m sorry. Really, I am, if I said it, but I don’t think I did.

No! Certainly not. But what are you going to do? You know I love you. Where do I come in?

Why, playwrights have to do with angles, and triangles, and all that sort of thing. He should be able to help us.

Why, of course it is. It’s fine; that’s what it is. It’s great! But suppose he won’t be able to help us?

(Enter Playwright from left. Both He-Angle and She-Angle look at him curiously. He-Angle goes back to his stool.)

I told you that—in my letter. You know—my husband. We’ve got to get free from him.

Ah, of course—the scandal. Wonderful! Think of it. The whole town talking. Ah, Pinero! Everyone that’s worth while. Of course!

The dialogue. Think of what people will say! Sparkling, eh, what! Scintillating! Think of it! Ah, Wilde!

Yes! Of course they will. Do you think they’re fools? If they didn’t talk, why—why there wouldn’t [Pg 11]be any sense to triangles. You angles must take the consequences. If you must angle, you must be talked about.

Well, then, if you insist on shutting out dialogue. There—have you thought of—How is your husband?

Why, don’t you see? If he had something, he’d be bound to die at the right moment—which is now. Sort of an unwritten law among husbands, you know. [Pg 12]They always do. They’re bound to in such cases as this—if everything else fails.

Come now, this isn’t getting us anywhere. We’re not through yet. There’s still another chance.

Of course. Hire a yacht and go to the South Sea Islands—Fiji will do. Get shipwrecked—it’s very easy to manage. Then, out there, under the open sky and the stars—nature will tell.

Why, yes. You’ll fight—you (to He-Angle) and he. Let the best man win! You’ll win—unless you lose. In either case—(To She-Angle.) In either case you’ll be satisfied. If your husband wins, you’ll find that all along you wanted your husband to win. (Indicating He-Angle.) If he wins, you’ll be happy to know that the man destiny picked for you won. It’s a fine place, the South Seas. You’re always satisfied.

Ah, no! It isn’t lonely any more. The South Seas have become very popular with the people who want to read their Ten Favorite Books and who never [Pg 14]would read them anywhere else. You’d not be lonely—if you enjoy Shakespeare and Walt Whitman.

I hate Shakespeare, and I hate Walt Whitman! I won’t go! A fortune teller once told me I’d die by drowning, and I won’t go aboard a ship!

Yes, be insulted. When you sent for me, I thought you would follow my advice. I have more to give, but I refuse to have my ideas laughed at. They’ve always been successful before—they still are in a thousand cases. But you think you’re too good, and your husband is too damn healthy, and yourself too superstitious. Good day.

(He lifts his hat and passes out right. Both He-Angle and She-Angle look disconsolately after him.)

I did. You know I did. My friend, the Poet. If you’d only sent for him—He’d be able to help us. A poet’s got imagination. That’s what we need—imagination. He’s got it—my friend, the Poet.

I did, even if you wouldn’t. I asked him to come, and he said he’d be right over.

He’d been here long ago if it hadn’t been for that [Pg 16]fool of a playwright. I never liked playwrights anyway. Poets for me every time. They’re so practical.

He probably is here; no doubt he’s been here all the time that fool Playwright was here, only I didn’t want to have them meet. They don’t hitch very well, Poets and Playwrights. At least any more. (He looks toward Prologue.) Is the Poet here?

I beg your pardon! I’m a Prologue—not a butler. However, I’ll call him if you insist. But please address me more respectfully in the future.

But this is not a mathematical triangle. (He gets back on stool.) You see (indicating She-Angle), we’re angles.

We need your advice. Imagination! It’s going to take imagination to get us out of this mess. That’s why I sent for you.

But couldn’t. Of course! Tawdry stuff, I suppose. I know just about what he would suggest. It goes well enough on the stage, but it isn’t art.

There’s really not much to be done. It’s all so simple, really, and all so artistic. Poetry! I tell you there’s poetry there.

Yes, so artistic. A sacrifice on the altar of living love. Oh, divine sacrifice! Oh, the beauty and the art of suffering!

Say, I don’t get all that you’re raving about, but if you have the idea that we aren’t suffering, you’re way off. We are. And it may be artistic, but it’s damn uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable. Yes. So artistic. The altar of living love. Purple love, deep, mystic, fragrant, yes. So uncomfortable, but so beautiful.

Ah, I am able. So able! Already I have envisioned your life. So heroic! So hopeless!

Yes. Two lives sacrificed on the altar of living, hopeless love. Deathless love, fragrant and so purple!

Come out of it and explain all this nonsense to us! Can you help us escape from this awful three-cornered prison?

Ah, yes, three-cornered. The three-cornered prison of love! Fetters forged in the vermillion fire of love. No blue flame to love, but deep vermillion girandoles of passion! So vermillion!

I sent for you, thinking that with your imagination you would be able to help us. But it seems that you’ve got too much imagination. Have you any suggestion or haven’t you?

Ah, my boy. That is it. You, too, can suffer so beautifully. Eternally! Love is eternity. Love her, my boy, and suffer from afar.

No, no! Not marry her! That would not be art. You must deny your love, lock it in your heart and go.

No! Good Lord, no! Anything but that. Seal up your hearts with the seals of eternity and deny your love. There only is Poetry! There only is Art! Seal up your hearts, I say. But don’t marry.

You, too! Think of it. Why, you are spoiling your great opportunity of sacrificing yourself on the altar of deathless love. You may be sung, if you seal your hearts; but marry, and you’ll go and have children. Ugh!

Ugh! Deny your purple love, and suffer the eternal pangs of deathless, hopeless yearning. I’ll sing you. Why, I’ve already thought of two new rhymes for love and a beautiful simile. Think of it. Deny your love and have your story told to the world in similes!

So heroic! So beautiful! So deathless to deny a hopeless love. Beside it the human sacrifices of golden Chichen-Itza were pale and anemic. I’m holding out to you the straw of immortality.

Oh, well. Then have your children. But don’t, in the name of art and beauty, don’t have legitimate children. Legitimate children are so prosy. A poet can’t sing of them.

Come, now, that’s going a bit too far! I don’t think you can help us. In fact, I think everything you’ve said about the most ridiculous rubbish I ever heard.

Rubbish! Fool! Fools! (He stalks toward left.) I’m through with you. Love your damn heads off and marry and have children, dozens of them. I hope they’re all cross-eyed! Fools!

(He goes off left angrily, He-Angle and She-Angle sit on their stools, a picture of resentment and outraged respectability.)

I knew he couldn’t help us. A poet! He’s no poet. Fat and bald. Ugh! I think he ought to be arrested as an impostor. Why, the idea of his talking about illegit—about—ah—children!

Deny our love! Live and suffer! I don’t believe he knows what love is. Or life either. And then those—children!

I don’t know. This is an awful mess. Maybe Poet is right and we’ll have to go on as we are—just angles.

(Prologue, who has been leaning half asleep on his trumpet, turns to the Angles.)

I mean you’re not going to drag me into this mess. [Pg 25]I’m a Prologue and don’t know anything about Angles—any more than I do about playing this trumpet We Prologues have a lot to contend with these days. They make us do all sorts of things—even to shifting scenery at times. But so far they have kept us out of scandals, and I’m not going to start in, as old as I am, getting into such scrapes.

But, Prologue, we don’t want you to get into any scrapes. We only want you to give us advice on how to solve the triangle.

Oh, yes, that’s all you want me to do. But say, haven’t I seen plays before? Haven’t I seen innocent bystanders dragged into such messes as this, even into the divorce courts, just because of a little good advice given at the wrong time.

How can I be sure of that? Besides, as I said before, I’m the Prologue and not an information bureau or ways and means committee.

Yes. I’m a Novelist. (He comes forward.) I’ve been thinking it was about time some one with a little brains took a hand in these proceedings. I’ll be glad to help you.

You know, I feel very sorry for you people, not because of the mess you’re in but because of the way you tried to get out of it.

Why, calling on a playwright and a poet. What good did you ever think they could possibly do you? I’m suspicious of them, particularly playwrights. I once had a novel, one of my best, adapted for the stage. (He throws up his hands.) You should have seen it when that playwright got through with it! [Pg 27]I wouldn’t have recognized it myself. Only the title remained the same.

Oh, yes. They know how to invent them, but they fail utterly in solving them satisfactorily. Why, not so long ago a very prominent playwright put two triangles together and tried to pass it off as a circle, but they remained triangles. It might be good dialogue, but it’s poor mathematics.

My boy, I’m sure of it. Of course, it’s largely up to you. If you’re willing to take sound advice, I know I can help you. I’ve solved many triangles in my time. That’s the kind of novel I have always written, and I always see to it that there’s a good moral attached. So do you feel it safe to listen to me?

Now then. The first thing you’re to do is to send for your husband and tell him all about it.

Yes, you must tell him. Now twenty years ago you would not have been able to do that, but now—all is different. Twenty years ago it would have meant a [Pg 28]duel or a murder. To-day, however, husbands are different. I suppose we novelists are really responsible for the change. Realism has done it. Realism has made men realize that man and wife are two separate and individual entities. The wife, man now realizes, has a right to lead her own life as she chooses. And he accepts it. Realism has done it!

But how do you know unless you try him? I am willing to stake my reputation as a Novelist that he would be amenable to argument.

But he hates arguments. I never could even argue with him over the price of a hat.

I’m not trying to insinuate anything. My dear man, I am simply appealing to your sense of justice. It is not unreasonable to conceive of a mutual feeling of surfeit arising in man and wife. That has frequently been the case, as you will realize if you read the popular novel. We novelists were among the first to recognize it. It will soon be put on the stage.

Well, I don’t know how you’re going to get out of this mess if you won’t listen to divorce. There’s no [Pg 30]chance of your husband’s dying you told the playwright. There are only two other ways out.

It’s not so very bad. Really, murder may be so committed that it is neither vulgar nor sinful.

Of course not. Murder is not necessarily sinful. It is held to be so only as a matter of convenience and because people have a naïve way of speaking of one’s having a right to live. After all, no one has any real right except to die. Murder is not considered sinful even by so-called moralists if it be done for a patriotic reason as in war. To ease your conscience, then, can’t you think of a patriotic reason why your husband should die? Does he obey the laws?

Why, yes, I think so. At least as much as any one does. But let’s not discuss that. I won’t murder him and I won’t have him murdered!

Well, I don’t care if I am old-fashioned. I’m not going to do anything that my conscience says is wrong!

Well, all I have to say is that you’re a queer pair. You’ve been unconventional enough to go and fall in love. That does not seem to you to be wrong, but you balk at divorce, murder, and free love. I’m sure I don’t see any help for you. What you need is not a Novelist or a Playwright or a Poet, but a Psychiatrist. Good day!

Actress (going to She-Angle at once sympathetic and patronizing and always fully realizing that she is going to have an opportunity to hold the center of the stage:)

It is all so very simple. First you must decide what you want. Do you want to marry your lover?

Then you must realize there is only one solution—divorce. As the Author says it is very smart. It is not vulgar unless the husband gets it. If the wife gets it, divorce is quite all right. Of course, murder is all right if you’re a tragedienne. Are you a tragedienne?

Then it must be divorce and you must be the one to [Pg 34]obtain it. That is very simple. Your husband loves you? Yes?

Yes. I know! Yes, your husband loves you. You must, however, show him that your love for him has died, that you love another and that you must either marry this other man or be his mistress.

Oh, yes, you can. You must only be deft. You must act. You must show him how you suffer.

I shall show you. We shall have a rehearsal now. I shall be you, and your lover will be your husband. You must watch me carefully. Then you do as I do.

I shall call him John. It need not be his name, but it will do in rehearsal. Besides, I like simple names in emotional scenes. Monosyllables are best. They’re so tense when used alone. (Turning again toward He-Angle.) You must help me now. I want you [Pg 35]to do just the things and say the things you would if you were really John. John!

Don’t be bashful. Remember this is only a rehearsal. Put your arms around me and kiss me. John would.

(He-Angle is not unwilling, but the presence of She-Angle disturbs him somewhat, particularly as the latter is beginning to lose interest in the technical side of the rehearsal and to resent the liberties the Actress is taking with her lover.)

He-Angle (taking her in his arms with a mixture of contentment and apprehension, he kisses her)

Oh, John. It’s true. Kill me! Do anything with me! I don’t deserve your love! I’m unworthy of you. Kill me!

Kill me. Oh, John, it’s too true, too terribly true. Would to God I had died before I met you. Then you would be saved this. Kill me, John!

He-Angle (putting his hands firmly on her shoulders and looking her in the eyes)

But I love you, too. Honestly, I love you. But in a [Pg 38]different sort of way. I’ll always love you, John. You’ve been so fair to me.

That is what I was afraid of. But I do not think I require any more instruction. I have learned much already.

I mean that I am quite capable of settling my domestic problems without any assistance from the theatrical profession.

Of all the insults! Goodness knows, I didn’t want to interfere in your business.

I didn’t! All I asked of the audience was a Novelist. I didn’t ask for a chorus girl.

A chorus girl! I’ll have you sued for slander, you silly, ignorant doll, you. A chorus girl! You free-lover! You, you mistress!

I thought she did, but I see I was mistaken. I shall not argue with an authority.

I dare say you know a great deal about chorus girls, and—and actresses. I can readily see that you are very familiar with the looks and actions of that kind of people. I understand perfectly now how you were able to carry your part so well, I—

I shall not stop! What right have you to tell me to stop? As I was saying before you so rudely lost your temper, I quite realize that in all probability it was not your first scene with an Actress.

You have said quite enough. Quite too much, in fact. It is all very plain to me that your intimacy with chorus girls and soubrettes has stood you in good stead to-day. I am glad to have learned that before I took some rash step. I am very glad to be able to say that whatever may be my husband’s faults, he has never frequented stage doors.

You know everything you have said is damned foolishness. You know you had no basis for such a scene.

No basis! No basis! To see you take another woman, a painted woman probably from a burlesque chorus, to see you take her into your arms, burning with passion, your eyes dilated, your cheeks flushed, your whole being mad with unholy love. No basis, do you say? To see you do that while still my lover! What would it be if you were married to me—if you were my husband! Oh, I have been blind! I have a husband who has at least the grace to carry on his amours behind my back, if he does carry on any. And I would have changed him for you! Oh, I have been blind! Go!

Go! Go! Do not stay another moment! Here comes my husband. I hear him outside. If you don’t go I shall have him kill you.

He’s just hurrying away—to meet the dearest actress in the world who has been here to call.

I’ve got two seats for a good show to-night, dear. It’s a problem play. Wonderful actress.

(Prologue gathers his trumpet sleepily under his arm. He has been half asleep during the later action of the play. He looks at the audience in some confusion and starts to go through the curtains.)

I’ve got to hurry or I’ll be an Epilogue. That wasn’t so hard to settle, was it? Thank you.

Out of the legends and folklore of Ireland and her own particular fantasy she has made two plays as Irish as anything of Yeats’s, Synge’s, Lady Gregory’s. As individual. As enchanting.

The Sea Woman’s Cloak (3 m. 3 w. and others.). November Eve (8 m. 8 w. and others.). $2.00.

A satire in three acts. First presented in New York at the Bijou Theatre, later at the Punch and Judy in the summer of 1921, later revived at the Little Theatre. “It offers,” says Heywood Broun, “some of the most agile dialogue that our theatre has known and reveals its author as the possessor of a rare gift for nonsense. And his nonsense is not just for the sheer trick of the thing, but molded with satirical intent.” New York Evening Telegram: “A delightful work, as good as Oscar Wilde at his best, sharply defined, brilliant, and deliciously amusing.” $2.00.

A drama of Negro life in three acts. First presented at the Bijou Theatre, New York City, in June, 1921. (7 m. 4 w.). New York Tribune: “A stunning tragedy. In the characterization there are fine perception and vivid writing. There is heartbreak in this play.” Oakland Tribune: “Splendidly and heroically written. A play to meditate over.” $1.75.

The search for happiness is the theme of this play, which is both realistic and—in the poignant figure of Ambrose Clark, who drunkenly, lamely chases the sun—subtly symbolic (11 m. 3 w. 4 g. 1 b.). John Barrymore: “I have read ‘The Sun Chaser.’ I think it has great beauty and a curious sense of mood and imminent vague things. I also think it brilliantly characterized.” $1.75.

*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IT'S TIME SOMETHING HAPPENED ***

Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed.

Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark license, especially commercial redistribution.

START: FULL LICENSE

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK

To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project Gutenberg License available with this file or online at www.gutenberg.org/license.

Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg electronic works

1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property (trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg electronic works in your possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project Gutenberg electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.

1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg electronic works even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project Gutenberg electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.

1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project Gutenberg electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the United States and you are located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project Gutenberg mission of promoting free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg name associated with the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg License when you share it without charge with others.

1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project Gutenberg work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any country other than the United States.

1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:

1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg License must appear prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg work (any work on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, copied or distributed:

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg™ License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg electronic work is derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg electronic work is posted with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked to the Project Gutenberg License for all works posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.

1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg.

1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project Gutenberg License.

1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg work in a format other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version posted on the official Project Gutenberg website (www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.

1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg works unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing access to or distributing Project Gutenberg electronic works provided that:

• You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from the use of Project Gutenberg works calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg trademark, but he has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.”
• You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™ License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™ works.
• You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of receipt of the work.
• You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works.

1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.

1.F.

1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.

1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.

1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further opportunities to fix the problem.

1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.

1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.

1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg work, and (c) any Defect you cause.

Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg

Project Gutenberg is synonymous with the free distribution of electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from people in all walks of life.

Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg’s goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg collection will remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure and permanent future for Project Gutenberg and future generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org.

Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.

The Foundation’s business office is located at 41 Watchung Plaza #516, Montclair NJ 07042, USA, +1 (862) 621-9288. Email contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact

Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread public support and donations to carry out its mission of increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations ($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt status with the IRS.

The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate.

While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to donate.

International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.

Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate.

Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg electronic works

Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.

Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.

Most people start at our website which has the main PG search facility: www.gutenberg.org.

This website includes information about Project Gutenberg, including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.

The Project Gutenberg eBook of It's time something happened

IT’S TIME SOMETHING
HAPPENED

CAST

Longer Dramas from Appleton’s List

TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES