The Project Gutenberg EBook of Goops and How to Be Them, by Gelett Burgess

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org


Title: Goops and How to Be Them

Author: Gelett Burgess

Release Date: July 8, 2011 [EBook #36664]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GOOPS AND HOW TO BE THEM ***




Produced by David Edwards, David Garcia and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
file was produced from images generously made available
by The Internet Archive)












(front cover)
  GOOPS AND HOW TO BE THEM
  A Manual of Manners for Polite Infants
  GELETT BURGESS

[i]





GOOPS
AND HOW TO BE THEM



[ii]





[iii]





GOOPS
AND HOW TO BE THEM

A Manual of Manners for Polite Infants
Inculcating many Juvenile Virtues
Both by Precept and Example
With Ninety Drawings

By GELETT BURGESS

(goops)


New York
Frederick A. Stokes Company
Publishers

[iv]



Copyright, 1900,
By Gelett Burgess



TWENTY-THIRD PRINTING, MAY 9, 1935



Printed in the United States of America

[v]

To Agnes who is Not (always) a Goop!

[vi]





[vii]





TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction Page 1
Table Manners—I 3
Table Manners—II 5
Cleanliness 7
Neatness 9
Courtesy 11
Generosity 13
Consideration 15
Miss Manners 17
Borrowing 19
Memory 21
Books 23
Honesty 25
"Why?" 27
Bed-Time 29
Modesty 31
Disfiguration 33
Bravery 35
Tidiness 37
Patience 39
Fortitude 41
George Adolphus 43
Politeness 45
Gentleness 47
Hospitality 49
Pets 51
Remember 53
Curiosity 55
Willy 57
Clothes 59
Helpfulness 61
Quietness 63
Order 65
Teasing 67
Interruption 69
Cry-Baby 71
Caution 73
Tardiness 75
Obedience 77
Church Headaches 79
Perseverance 81
Doll-Time 83
Combing and Curling 85
Cheerfulness 87

Of these Rhymes, ten first appeared in "St. Nicholas," and are here reprinted by permission of the Century Company.

[1]





INTRODUCTION

Let me introduce a Race

Void of Beauty and of Grace,

Extraordinary Creatures

With a Paucity of Features.

Though their Forms are fashioned ill,

They have Manners stranger still;

For in Rudeness they're Precocious,

They're Atrocious, they're Ferocious!

Yet you'll learn, if you are Bright,

Politeness from the Impolite.

When you've finished with the Book,

At your Conduct take a Look;

Ask yourself, upon the Spot,

Are you Goop, or are you Not?

For, although it's Fun to See them

It is Terrible to Be them!

[2]





[3]





TABLE MANNERS.—I.

The Goops they lick their fingers,

And the Goops they lick their knives;

They spill their broth on the tablecloth—

Oh, they lead disgusting lives!

The Goops they talk while eating,

And loud and fast they chew;

And that is why I'm glad that I

Am not a Goop—are you?

[4]





[5]





TABLE MANNERS.—II.

The Goops are gluttonous and rude,

They gug and gumble with their food;

They throw their crumbs upon the floor,

And at dessert they tease for more;

They will not eat their soup and bread

But like to gobble sweets, instead,

And this is why I oft decline,

When I am asked to stay and dine!

[6]





[7]





Cleanliness (top)

CLEANLINESS

The Goops they are spotted on chin and on cheek,

You could dig the dirt off with a trowel!

But you wash your face twenty times every week,

And you don't do it all with the towel!

The Goops are all dirty, and what do they do?

They like to be dirty, and stay so.

But if you were dirty, you'd wash, wouldn't you?

If you needed a bath, you would say so!

Cleanliness (bottom)

[8]





[9]





NEATNESS

Goops leave traces everywhere—

Gum stuck underneath the chair,

Muddy footprints in the hall,

Show that Goops have been to call;

Shoes and stockings on the floor

Show where Goops have been before!

[10]





[11]





COURTESY

I wonder why it is polite

In shaking hands, to give your right.

I wonder why it is refined

In passing one, to go behind.

I wonder why it is well-bred,

If you must sneeze, to turn your head.

Perhaps the reason is because

The Goops, they never have such laws!

[12]





[13]





GENEROSITY

When you have candy, do you go

And give your sister half?

When little brother stubs his toe,

Do you look on and laugh?

The greediest Goop would give away

The things he didn't need—

To share the toys with which you play,

That's generous, indeed!

[14]





[15]





Consideration (top)

CONSIDERATION

When you're old, and get to be

Thirty-four or forty-three,

Don't you hope that you will see

Children all respect you?

Will they, without being told,

Wait on you, when you are old,

Or be heedless, selfish, cold?

I hope they'll not neglect you!

Consideration (bottom)

[16]





[17]





MISS
MANNERS

No matter how you wish

For the last one on the dish,

Miss Manners has a right
to it, not you;

And the largest one of all,

Or the nicest, big or small—

Well, I think you'd better
leave her that one too!

[18]





[19]





BORROWING

Whose doll is that on the table?

Whose book is that on the chair?

The knife and the pencils and other utensils,

Now how do they come to be there?

Didn't you say they were borrowed?

You'd better take back just a few!

If you lent your playthings, I think you would say things

If no one returned them to you!

[20]





[21]





MEMORY

My teacher taught me, yesterday,

A very pretty piece to say;

But when I try to think of it,

I can't remember it a bit!

My head's so full of toys and such,

I can't remember very much!

My teacher told me yesterday

"Work when you work; Play when you play!"

When I am playing with my toys

I am the busiest of boys;

But when I study or I work

I'm 'fraid I am inclined to shirk!

[22]





[23]





BOOKS

I have a notion

The Books on the shelves

Are just as much persons

As we are, ourselves.

When you are older,

You'll find this is true;

You'd better be careful

To make Books like you!

[24]





[25]





Honesty (top)

HONESTY

The boy who plays at marbles and doesn't try to cheat,

Who always keeps his temper, no matter if he's beat,

Is sure to be a favorite with all upon the street.

The girl who counts her hundreds very fairly, when she's "it"

Who doesn't peep or listen, nor turn around a bit,

I'm sure she's not a Goop, in fact, she's quite the opposite!

Honesty (bottom)

[26]





[27]





"WHY?"

Josephus never yet was heard

To say but just one single word!

When father said to go to bed,

Then "Why?" was all Josephus said.

When mother bade him stop his play,

Then "Why?" Josephus used to say.

He always made the same reply.

'Twas never anything but "WHY?"

[28]





[29]





Bed-Time (top)

BED-TIME

The night is different from the day—

It's darker in the night;

How can you ever hope to play

When it's no longer light?

When bed-time comes, it's time for you

To stop, for when you're yawning,

You should be dreaming what you'll do

When it's to-morrow morning.

Bed-Time (bottom)

[30]





[31]





MODESTY

The proper time for you to show

Whatever little tricks you know

Is when grown people ask you to;

Then you may show what you can do!

But sometimes mother's head will ache

With all the jolly noise you make,

And sometimes other people, too,

Can't spend the time to play with you!

[32]





[33]





DISFIGURATION

Have you ever seen the scrawls

On the fences and the walls,

All the horrid little pictures and the horrid little names?

Don't you think it is a shame?

Are the Goops the ones to blame?

Did you ever catch them playing at their horrid little games?

[34]





[35]





BRAVERY

It's terrible brave

To try to save

A girl on a runaway horse;

You could do that, of course!

But think of trying

To keep from crying,

When you're hungry and tired and cross—

You couldn't do that, of course!

[36]





[37]





TIDINESS

Little scraps of paper,

Little crumbs of food,

Make a room untidy,

Everywhere they're strewed.

Do you sharpen pencils,

Ever, on the floor?

What becomes of orange-peels

And your apple-core?

Can you blame your mother

If she looks severe.

When she says, "It looks to me

As if the Goops were here"?

[38]





[39]





PATIENCE

The clock will go slow

If you watch it, you know;

You must work right along and forget it.

So study your best

Till it's time for a rest,

The clock will go fast, if you let it!

[40]





[41]





FORTITUDE

When you have been a naughty child,

Or taken more than was your share,

When you've been sulky, cross or wild,

You must not say, "Oh, I don't care!"

But when you hate to see it rain,

And when it's time to comb your hair,

And when you have a little pain,

Then you can say, "Oh, I don't care!"

[42]





[43]





GEORGE ADOLPHUS

Oh, think what George Adolphus did!

The children point and stare.

He went where mother had forbid,

And said he "didn't care!"

Oh, think what George Adolphus did!

He made his mother cry!

The children whoop "You are a Goop!

Fie! George Adolphus, fie!"

[44]





[45]





POLITENESS

I think it would be lots of fun

To be polite to every one;

A boy would doff his little hat,

A girl would curtsey, just like that!

And both would use such words as these:

"Excuse me, Sir," and "If you please;"

Not only just at home, you know,

But everywhere that they should go.

[46]





[47]





GENTLENESS

When you are playing with the girls,

You must not pull their pretty curls;

If you are gentle when you play,

You will be glad of it some day.

[48]





[49]





Hospitality (top)

HOSPITALITY

When a person visits you, remember he's your guest,

Receive him very kindly, and be sure he has the best;

Make him very comfortable and show him all your toys,

And only play the games you're very sure that he enjoys.

When you pay a visit, never grumble or complain,

Try to be so affable they'll want you there again;

Don't forget the older ones, your hostess least of all,

When you're leaving tell her you have had a pleasant call!

Hospitality (bottom)

[50]





[51]





PETS

Almost every Goop forgets

When it's time to feed his pets,

'Cause his memory fails;

Listen to his wails!

He is often scratched or bitten

By the puppy or the kitten,

'Cause he pulls their tails!

[52]





[53]





REMEMBER

Remember not to suck your thumb;

Remember not to slam the door;

Remember when the callers come

To take your toys from off the floor.

[54]





[55]





CURIOSITY

I think that it would help you much

If you'd remember not to touch.

The Goops do this, and they do more,

They peep and listen at the door!

They open bottles of cologne,

And feel of parcels not their own!

But there are many stupid folks

Who do not care for children's jokes.

[56]





[57]





WILLY

Willy broke the window-pane.

Willy spilled the ink,

Willy left the water-pipe

Running in the sink!

Did his mother punish him?

No! I'll tell you why.

Willy, he owned up to it,

And didn't tell a lie!

Willy told his mother

Before she found it out

He said: "I am so sorry!"

She said "I have no doubt!"

[58]





[59]





Clothes (top)

CLOTHES

When you are playing in the dirt,

You should wear clothes you cannot hurt;

It will not matter, when they're worn,

If they are just a little torn.

But when you're really nicely dressed,

Be careful of your Sunday Best!

You must not crawl upon your knees;

Be careful of your elbows, please!

Clothes (bottom)

[60]





[61]





HELPFULNESS

I never knew a Goop to help his mother,

I never knew a Goop to help his dad,

And they never do a thing for one another;

They are actually, absolutely bad!

If you ask a Goop to go and post a letter,

Or to run upon an errand, how they act!

But somehow I imagine you are better,

And you try to go, and cry to go, in fact!

[62]





[63]





QUIETNESS

Quietness (top)

Hush! for your father is reading.

Hush! for your mother is ill.

Hush! for the baby

Is sleeping, and may be

He'll catch a nice dream if you're still.

Kiss me, and promise you will!

Quietness (bottom)

[64]





[65]





ORDER

Make your soldiers march away,

When you're finished with your play.

Lead them to the barrack-box,

Make them carry all your blocks.

Teach your doll to go to bed,

Not to lie about instead;

Tell her she must clear away

Everything she's used to-day.

All your playthings and your toys

Must be trained like girls and boys!

[66]





[67]





TEASING

Tease to linger longer when your mother bids you go;

Tease to have a penny when your father answers, "No!"

Tease to have a story when your uncle doesn't please;

That's the way to be a Goop—tease, tease, tease!

Hint about the carriage when there's only room for three;

Hint about the toys you like and every doll you see;

Hint about the candy, say you're fond of peppermint;

That's the way to be a Goop—hint, hint, hint!

[68]





[69]





Interruption (top)

INTERRUPTION

Don't interrupt your father when he's telling funny jokes;

Don't interrupt your mother when she's entertaining folks;

Don't interrupt the visitors when they have come to call,—

In fact, it's generally wiser not to interrupt at all.

Interruption (bottom)

[70]





[71]





CRY-BABY

I'm sure that I would rather die

Than have my playmates see me cry;

It twists your face

And knots your forehead,

And makes you look all cross and horrid;

And every one who sees you cries

"What is the matter with your eyes?"

[72]





[73]





CAUTION

When you travel in the street,

Are you cautious and discreet?

Do you look about for horses

When your little brother crosses?

Do you go the shortest way,

Never stopping once to play?

[74]





[75]

Tardiness (top)




TARDINESS

Goodness gracious sakes alive!

Mother said, "Come home at five!"

Now the clock is striking six,

I am in a norful fix!

She will think I can't be trusted,

And she'll say that she's disgusted!

Tardiness (bottom)

[76]





[77]





OBEDIENCE

The Goops are very hard to kill,

So they hang out the Window-sill;

Down the Banisters they slide—

I could do it if I tried;

But when Mother tells me "don't,"

Then, of course I really won't!

[78]





[79]





Church Headaches (top)

CHURCH HEADACHES

When 'tis time to go to church

Do you ever have a chill?

When 'tis time to go to school,

Do you fancy you are ill?

Oh, be very cautious, please,

I can tell by signs like these

You have got the Goop Disease!

Church Headaches (bottom)

[80]





[81]





Perseverance (1)

PERSEVERANCE

Tony started bright and early, clearing up his room,

Soon he found he had to stop and make a little broom;

Perseverance (2)

So then he went into the yard to get a little stick,

But the garden needed weeding, so he set about it, quick!

Perseverance (3)

Then he found his wagon he intended to repair,

So he went into the cellar for the hammer that was there;

Perseverance (4)

He'd just begun to build a box, when it was time for dinner;

And that's why Tony's father called his son a "good beginner."

[82]





[83]





DOLL-TIME

Spring's the time for marbles

And Fall's the time for tops,

But boys don't know, they only go

By seeing them in shops!

They like a sled in Winter,

In Summer 'tis a kite;

But dolls are found the whole year round

And every day and night!

[84]





[85]





COMBING & CURLING

When your mother combs your hair,

Here's a rhyme for you to say:

If you try it, I declare,

It will take the snarls away!

In the ocean of my hair,

Many little waves are there;

Make the comb, a little boat,

Over all the billows float;

Sail the rough and tangled tide

Till it's smooth on every side,

Till, like other little girls,

I've a sea of wavy curls!

[86]





[87]





CHEERFULNESS

Now the book, is finished

(It's too long by half,

Mere didactic chaff),

One more rule won't hurt you:

When you practise Virtue,

Do it with a laugh!

[88]
















End of Project Gutenberg's Goops and How to Be Them, by Gelett Burgess

*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GOOPS AND HOW TO BE THEM ***

***** This file should be named 36664-h.htm or 36664-h.zip *****
This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
        http://www.gutenberg.org/3/6/6/6/36664/

Produced by David Edwards, David Garcia and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
file was produced from images generously made available
by The Internet Archive)


Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
will be renamed.

Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
redistribution.



*** START: FULL LICENSE ***

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK

To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
http://gutenberg.org/license).


Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic works

1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.

1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works.  See paragraph 1.E below.

1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.

1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
States.

1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:

1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
copied or distributed:

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
1.E.9.

1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.

1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.

1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
Gutenberg-tm License.

1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.

1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
that

- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."

- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
     License.  You must require such a user to return or
     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
     Project Gutenberg-tm works.

- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
     of receipt of the work.

- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.

1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.

1.F.

1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
your equipment.

1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
DAMAGE.

1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
opportunities to fix the problem.

1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.

1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.

1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.


Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm

Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
people in all walks of life.

Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.


Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
Foundation

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.

The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
page at http://pglaf.org

For additional contact information:
     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
     Chief Executive and Director
     gbnewby@pglaf.org


Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation

Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
status with the IRS.

The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
particular state visit http://pglaf.org

While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
approach us with offers to donate.

International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.

Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate


Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works.

Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.


Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.


Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:

     http://www.gutenberg.org

This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.